Harchakot of Niddah: Difference between revisions
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'''Harchakot''' (Hebrew: הרחקות, tran. ''separations'') are Rabbinic supplementary restrictions intended to prevent a couple from excessive intimacy which could lead to gravely forbidden Biblical actions during the niddah period. Since couples have a certain level of familiarity, routine, and habitual rapport, the Sages with their psychological understanding and insight saw the need for these additional restrictions. Accordingly, these precautions only apply to married couples, not to interactions with women | '''Harchakot''' (Hebrew: הרחקות, tran. ''separations'') are Rabbinic supplementary restrictions intended to prevent a couple from excessive intimacy which could lead to gravely forbidden Biblical actions during the niddah period. Since couples have a certain level of familiarity, routine, and habitual rapport, the Sages with their psychological understanding and insight saw the need for these additional restrictions. Accordingly, these precautions only apply to married couples, not to interactions with women whom a man invariably may not touch.<ref>Shabbat 13a, Responsa Rosh (no. 47), Responsa Rashba (vol. 1, no. 1188). See however Rama (Even HaEzer 21:5) for miscellaneous laws of distance one must practice when interacting with women. </ref> | ||
These precautions commence with a woman's menstruation and extends all the way until the culmination of her purification process, immersion.<ref>Shulchan Aruch and Rama (Yorei Deah 195:1), Torat HaTaharah (p. 95), Taharat Yosef (3:1) </ref> This prohibition remains even if a woman reached menopause, when she no longer experiences menstrual cycles, and in the past has not followed the requisite steps to purification; she must unfetter herself with a count of hefsek taharah, seven clean days, and immersion.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 95, Taharat Yosef 3:2. | These precautions commence with a woman's menstruation and extends all the way until the culmination of her purification process, immersion.<ref>Shulchan Aruch and Rama (Yorei Deah 195:1), Torat HaTaharah (p. 95), Taharat Yosef (3:1) </ref> This prohibition remains even if a woman reached menopause, when she no longer experiences menstrual cycles, and in the past has not followed the requisite steps to purification; she must unfetter herself with a count of hefsek taharah, seven clean days, and immersion.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 95, Taharat Yosef 3:2. | ||
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==Intimate Speech== | ==Intimate Speech== | ||
# | #During this period, a couple must be cautious not to engage in conviviality or light-headedness, for such behavior often breeds physical closeness. They must also refrain from confabulating flirtatiously or frivolously.<ref>Shulchan Aruch and Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:1) citing Avot D'Rabbi Natan (2:1). | ||
See Shach who points out that although Avot D’Rabbi Natan actually writes that they may not speak "any unnecessary speech", Tur (195:1) and Rashba (Torat Habayit 3b) explain that this only refers to intimate speech. | |||
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#A husband may send jewelry or gifts to his wife or send her flowers when she is a Niddah as long as he isn't too effusive with his love for her lest they be drawn to do something prohibited.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:13 </ref> | |||
#Some poskim permit playing games together when your wife is a niddah unless it leads to lightheartedness.<ref>Mishmeret Hatahara (195:7 v. 2 p. 264) quotes Rav Elyashiv as saying that playing board games such as chess and checkers together with his wife when she’s a niddah is forbidden. Chut Shani (Niddah p. 223) argues that playing chess or games is permitted unless it leads to lightheartedness.</ref> | #Some poskim permit playing games together when your wife is a niddah unless it leads to lightheartedness.<ref>Mishmeret Hatahara (195:7 v. 2 p. 264) quotes Rav Elyashiv as saying that playing board games such as chess and checkers together with his wife when she’s a niddah is forbidden. Chut Shani (Niddah p. 223) argues that playing chess or games is permitted unless it leads to lightheartedness.</ref> | ||
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#Also, if the couple passes the child in a playful manner, that is prohibited, since doing so promotes intimacy.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 100</ref> | #Also, if the couple passes the child in a playful manner, that is prohibited, since doing so promotes intimacy.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 100</ref> | ||
#It is preferable that a person be strict to not feed his baby while his wife who is a niddah is holding the baby. If necessary though, they may be lenient, if they are careful not to touch each other.<ref>Taharat Habayit 2:12:8, Torat HaTaharah p. 100, Taharat Yosef 3:7:6</ref> | #It is preferable that a person be strict to not feed his baby while his wife who is a niddah is holding the baby. If necessary though, they may be lenient, if they are careful not to touch each other.<ref>Taharat Habayit 2:12:8, Torat HaTaharah p. 100, Taharat Yosef 3:7:6</ref> | ||
==Looking at One's Wife== | ==Looking at One's Wife== | ||
