Hafarat Nedarim: Difference between revisions
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= How to Revoke (Meifer) or Uphold (Meikim) a Neder = | = How to Revoke (Meifer) or Uphold (Meikim) a Neder = | ||
# Even if the one upholds the Neder, if the woman goes to a Beit Din for Hatarat Nedarim and gets it annulled, the Hatarah works,<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:23</ref> though some are stringent and only allow such when he remained silent, not when he upheld the Neder.<ref>Rama ibid admits the former opinion is correct but opts to be stringent for the latter opinion. Taz Yoreh Deah 234:26 explains that this is based on כל אשה על דעת בעלה היא נודרת, but the Gra writes that Hakama strengthens the Neder too much for Hatarah to work. See Shu"t Teshuvot veHanhagot vol. 1 Siman 524 who discusses the practical difference of the father instead of the husband upholding his daughter's Neder. The Shach Yoreh Deah 234:37 adds that certainly if the husband didn't hear of the Neder one can be lenient. If it's past the day he heard of it, then the Shach (Yoreh Deah 234:38-39) recommends he should first annul his upholding of the Neder, then revoke her Neder, and then she should go to Beit Din unless he's not available, in which case, one can rely on the first opinion and just let her get it annulled. Rabbi Akiva Eiger (ad loc.) thinks that he does not need to revoke the Neder in between.</ref> | # Even if the one upholds the Neder, if the woman goes to a Beit Din for Hatarat Nedarim and gets it annulled, the Hatarah works,<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:23</ref> though some are stringent and only allow such when he remained silent, not when he upheld the Neder.<ref>Rama ibid admits the former opinion is correct but opts to be stringent for the latter opinion. Birkei Yosef (Yoreh Deah 234:3 cites Radbaz who agrees. Taz Yoreh Deah 234:26 explains that this is based on כל אשה על דעת בעלה היא נודרת, but the Gra writes that Hakama strengthens the Neder too much for Hatarah to work. See Shu"t Teshuvot veHanhagot vol. 1 Siman 524 who discusses the practical difference of the father instead of the husband upholding his daughter's Neder. The Shach Yoreh Deah 234:37 adds that certainly if the husband didn't hear of the Neder one can be lenient. If it's past the day he heard of it, then the Shach (Yoreh Deah 234:38-39) recommends he should first annul his upholding of the Neder, then revoke her Neder, and then she should go to Beit Din unless he's not available, in which case, one can rely on the first opinion and just let her get it annulled. Rabbi Akiva Eiger (ad loc.) thinks that he does not need to revoke the Neder in between.</ref> | ||
# One can revoke two of his wives' or two of his daughters' Nefarim at the same time, though some disagree.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:29 presents it as a [[Stam vaYesh]]</ref> | # One can revoke two of his wives' or two of his daughters' Nefarim at the same time, though some disagree.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:29 presents it as a [[Stam vaYesh]]</ref> | ||
# Any time one revokes his wife or daughter's Neder, he must have full knowledge of which wife or daughter took the Neder and what the Neder was about. If he revokes it and then finds out the correct details within [[Toch Kedei Dibbur]], the Hafarah is valid if he would like it to count. In such a case, he does not need to perform another Hafarah.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:31. The Bach (s.v. uLeInyan, Taz (Yoreh Deah 234:31), and Shach (Yoreh Deah 234:47) are stringent if he did not make a general Hafarah not specific to his daughter that it shouldn't work, since it's a Machaloket Rishonim on a Din DeOraita.</ref> If he only finds out the rest of the details on the next day, he has that entire day to revoke the Neder, because the partial knowledge he had previously was insufficient to count the day he heard it Yom Shomo. Therefore, even if he mistakenly upheld the Neder on the previous day, it was invalid and is irrelevant to revoking it on the day he discovers the complete set of details.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:32</ref> | |||
== Yom Shomo == | == Yom Shomo == | ||
# A Neder may only be revoked on the day it was heard of (Yom Shomo) until Shekiah.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:21</reF> | # A Neder may only be revoked on the day it was heard of (Yom Shomo) until Shekiah.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:21</reF> | ||
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== Prior to Kiddushin/Erusin == | == Prior to Kiddushin/Erusin == | ||
# The Torah gives license to a man to revoke the Nedarim of his young daughter and those of his wife. This action is known as "Hafarah." A father can only revoke his daughter's Nedarim while she is a Ketana (below the age of twelve) or Na'arah (between twelve with Simanim and twelve and a half). Once she becomes a Bogeret (twelve and a half with Simanim) or reaches Nissuin, he may no longer revoke her Nedarim.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:1</ref> | # The Torah gives license to a man to revoke the Nedarim of his young daughter and those of his wife. This action is known as "Hafarah." A father can only revoke his daughter's Nedarim while she is a Ketana (below the age of twelve) or Na'arah (between twelve with Simanim and twelve and a half). Once she becomes a Bogeret (twelve and a half with Simanim) or reaches Nissuin, he may no longer revoke her Nedarim.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:1</ref> | ||
# The practice of Talmidei Chachamim is to tell their daughters prior to Kiddushin that all Nedarim they have taken are hereby revoked.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:10</ref> In fact, Rav Moshe Shternbuch advises | # The practice of Talmidei Chachamim is to tell their daughters prior to Kiddushin that all Nedarim they have taken are hereby revoked.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:10</ref> In fact, Rav Moshe Shternbuch advises even nowadays this should be practiced prior to one's daughter becoming a bogeret and she should be informed, because a father who compliments his daughter on some good deed might essentially be upholding her Neder to continue doing it.<ref>Shu"T Teshuvot veHanhagot vol. 1 Yoreh Deah Siman 524</ref> | ||
== During Erusin == | == During Erusin == | ||
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== After Nissuin == | == After Nissuin == | ||
# The husband can revoke her Nedarim exclusively from Nissuin and on.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah 234:2</ref> Even if his wife | # The husband can revoke her Nedarim exclusively from Nissuin and on.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah 234:2</ref> Even if his wife disapproves, she cannot prevent her husband from revoking her Nedarim.<ref>Shu"t HaRivash Siman 407, Beit Yosef Yoreh Deah 234:2-3</ref> | ||
=== Divorced === | === Divorced === | ||
# Even if the husband did not hear her Nedarim during Nissuin, divorce closes the door on revoking them, even if he returns and enters Erusin with her again, since he needs the father's partnership to revoke Nedarim during Erusin.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:14</ref> Certainly Nedarim she takes during this Erusin after divorce from Nissuin are out of his range, as well.<ref>Shach Yoreh Deah 234:28, Taz Yoreh Deah 234:17</ref> | # Even if the husband did not hear her Nedarim during Nissuin, divorce closes the door on revoking them, even if he returns and enters Erusin with her again, since he needs the father's partnership to revoke Nedarim during Erusin.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:14</ref> Certainly Nedarim she takes during this Erusin after divorce from Nissuin are out of his range, as well.<ref>Shach Yoreh Deah 234:28, Taz Yoreh Deah 234:17</ref> | ||
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# The husband and father can only revoke Nedarim that are self afflicting to the woman or strain the bond between him and her. A Chacham, however, can annul any Neder.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah 234:55,58, Shach Yoreh Deah 234:1. According to the Rambam that the father can revoke any Nedarim, see Shu"t Minchat Shlomo Kamma Siman 62:12, Tinyana Siman 110, and Minchat Shlomo Nedarim Shiurim Siman 12 regarding whether he can also revoke Hafrashat Terumah and Hekdesh or not</ref> | # The husband and father can only revoke Nedarim that are self afflicting to the woman or strain the bond between him and her. A Chacham, however, can annul any Neder.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah 234:55,58, Shach Yoreh Deah 234:1. According to the Rambam that the father can revoke any Nedarim, see Shu"t Minchat Shlomo Kamma Siman 62:12, Tinyana Siman 110, and Minchat Shlomo Nedarim Shiurim Siman 12 regarding whether he can also revoke Hafrashat Terumah and Hekdesh or not</ref> | ||
# Even if it was a Nedar Al Da'at Rabbim, the father and husband can still revoke it.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 228:24, Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:1, Shach Yoreh Deah 234:4</ref> | # Even if it was a Nedar Al Da'at Rabbim, the father and husband can still revoke it.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 228:24, Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:1, Shach Yoreh Deah 234:4</ref> | ||
# These Halachot apply equally to Shevuot, as well.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah 234:3, Shach Yoreh Deah 234:2</ref> | # These Halachot apply equally to Shevuot, as well.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah 234:3, Shach Yoreh Deah 234:2. See Birkei Yosef Yoreh Deah 234:1 who proves from everything between the Pesukim and Shulchan Aruch with plenty of Rambams in between that a husband can annul his wife's Shevuot and also reconciles them with the Teshuvot HaGeonim and Kenesset HaGedolah who don't rule that way. Shiurei Beracha Yoreh Deah 234:1</ref> | ||
= Shabbat = | = Shabbat = | ||
