Hafarat Nedarim: Difference between revisions

# As an Arusah, a Ketana or Na'arah partially enters her husband's domain, so he can revoke her Nedarim she takes during Erusin or even beforehand in tandem with her father, until she enters the Chuppah and does Nissuin. Only when she fully enters his domain with Chuppah and Nissuin can the husband alone revoke her Nedarim, even if in the meantime he becomes obligated to feed her during Erusin.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:5, see Shulchan Aruch Even HaEzer 56:1 regarding when he would be obligated to feed her.</ref>

# If either the father or the husband revokes her Neder but the other does not, the Neder is weakened but not revoked, so she would not receive Malkot if she violates it from then on.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:5</ref>

# According to the Rambam, both father and husband have to hear of and revoke the Neder on the same day, while the Ramban argues each one can hear and revoke on separate days.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:5 presents these two as a Stam vaYesh. The Tur thinks the Ramban is logical, so the Taz (Yoreh Deah 234:6) writes the Shulchan Aruch paskened Safek De'Oraita leChumra. Bach quoted by Shach Yoreh Deah 234:13 points out that one should be Machmir, especially since it's a Stam vaYesh.</ref>

# Though it's effective by a Nessuah, taking back one's upholding of an Arusah's Neder does not allow him to then revoke it.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:6, who omits the Rashba's position that this is only true if the father does it. The Shach Yoreh Deah 234:16 posits this is true even if he takes it back on the same day.</ref>

# If the Arus sends messengers to retrieve his wife from the father and they return with her alone, then she has left her father's domain and, according to some, is now in her husband's domain with respect to Hafarat Nedarim of any Nedarim she takes going forward,<ref>And neither father nor husband can revoke Nedarim taken between leaving the father's domain and entering the husband's. Beit Yosef Yoreh Deah 238:8, Shach Yoreh Deah 234:18. Taz Yoreh Deah 234:9 takes issue with this position.</ref> as Mesirah is like Nissuin.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:8. who presents it as a Stam vaYesh, based on a Machaloket Rashi and the Tur against Tosafot with the Rambam seemingly siding with the former group.</ref>

# If, however, the father or the father's messengers escort her with the husbands's messengers, then she remains in the father's domain until they pass her over to the husband or his messengers.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 234:8</ref>

== After Nissuin ==