Chinuch: Difference between revisions

# Although the primary purpose of Chinuch is to train children when they are young so that they continue to perform the Mitzvot during adulthood, the parents' obligation does not end when a child reaches bar or bat mitzvah. A parent must make sure that the child continues to adhere to all biblical or rabbinic laws even after maturity. <ref>Children in Halacha pg. 8 </ref>

* Children should be taught to say berachot before food at the age of 5, or when the children are able to say it properly. However many people have different customs to start having children say berachot at an earlier age. <ref>"CHINUCH AGE." Ahavsalom (n.d.): n. pag. Dh.ahavasolam.com. Web. 1 Feb. 2016. <http://dh.ahavasolam.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/A-List-of-Chinuch-Ages.pdf>,                                                                                                    שלחן ערוך א”ח רט”ו:ג as cited in Singer, Shmuel. "A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot." Google Books. Shmuel Singer, n.d. Web. 01 Feb. 2016. <https://books.google.com/books?id=55NdTR7HfYAC&pg=PA20&lpg=PA20&dq=age%2Bchildren%2Bberachot&source=bl&ots=zwGJnqECD_&sig=xSHlovDBimMjahI64ia2ltu_5ho&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjHopOi39bKAhUBLyYKHRqADUEQ6AEIHDAA#v=onepage&q=age%20children%20berachot&f=false>.  

*Yalkut Yosef (Chinuch p. 20) quotes the Chikrei Lev who proves that there is chinuch even on mitzvot derabanan, as the gemara Rosh Hashana 29b indicates that a person should teach his son how to make hamotzei before eating bread.</ref>

*While there is a prohibition in saying G-d's Name (Ado-nai) when it is isn't warranted, the prohibition is waived when being used in the process of Chinuch. Therefore, it is permitted (obligatory, rather) to say the full [[Brachot|Bracha]], with Shem and Malchut, in order to teach a child how and when to say what [[Brachot]].<ref>The Gemara (Brachot 53b) says that one doesn’t say amen after the [[Brachot|Bracha]] of a katan when he is just saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] as he is being taught the Brachot. The Rambam (Brachot 1:15) codifies as halacha. The Kesef Mishna there writes that it’s clearly implied that the teacher is permitted to say the Brachot with Hashem’s name to teach the children how to say the Brachot and when the children repeat the [[Brachot|Bracha]] after him, since the [[Brachot|Bracha]] is only for Chinuch, one doesn’t answer amen. Shulchan Aruch 215:3 rules that if a child is saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] as he is learning from his teacher one doesn’t answer amen, but if a child says a [[Brachot|Bracha]] in order to exempt himself from some obligation (meaning saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] when he is obligated to say it), then one should answer amen.

# Children that have not reached the age of bar or bat mitzvah are required to wash their hands before eating bread. Even though washing hands is a mitzvah derabanan, it is a mitzvah of chinuch to teach kids mitzvot that are derabanan. <ref>Yalkut Yosef Dinei [[Netilat Yadayim]], Birkat Hamazon, [[Brachot]], [[Mincha]] and [[Arvit]] page 13-14 based on the Yerushalmi in Megilla 2:5 that [[chinuch]] of children applies to rabbinic laws as cited in [[Netilat Yadayim for a Meal]].   

#Some say that bringing children to shul before they are ready infuses them with spirituality just like a bris milah is given to a child before the age of chinuch because it infuses him with spirituality. <ref>[http://www.aish.com/jl/jewish-law/daily-living/4-Children-and-Halacha.html Rabbi Shraga Simmons]  </ref>

#The Shla hakadosh was frustrated by people who brought kids to shul who were not yet old enough to be in shul without making disruptions and bothering the shul. This will leave an impression on the child and he will feel distaste towards the shul as an adult because of it. <ref>Mishnah Berurah 98:3 who quotes the Shla Hakadosh:</ref>

#The Mishna Berura writes that one shouldn’t daven with a young child in front of himm as the child will likely distract him.<ref>Mishna Berura 96:4</ref>

#The Shulchan Aruch writes that children should listen to the megilla being read on Purim. The Mishna Berura  writes that this is only applicable to children who have reached the age of chinuch. The Chafetz Chaim bemoans the unfortunate reality that many parents bring their younger children who disturb everyone else. <ref>The Shulchan Aruch (OC 689:1-3)</ref>

#Hacham Ovadia Yosef says a kohen’s wife who is pregnant while she knows it's a male is allowed to go to cemeteries while pregnant because the fetus is considered to be a part of the mother. <ref>dailyhalacha.com</ref> Rav Elyashiv says that a kohen’s wife who is giving birth to a male needs to make sure the hospital is one where the child won't become tamei after being born. <ref>dailyhalacha.com</ref>

#A kohen must never become Tamei, so as a baby it is the parent's responsibility to keep the baby from being near dead bodies.<ref>dinonline.org</ref>

#When a child is able to understand when it is Shabbat, then he or she must hear kiddush and havdalah. Understanding that it is Shabbos does not mean that he or she only says good shabbos and that’s all; rather a kid must understand that it’s the 7th day and it’s the rest day and not a day to do work. <ref>Rabbi Dovid Ostroff, The Shabbos Weekly</ref>

#If a child goes to sleep before hearing havdallah or Kiddush and it is past the child’s normal bedtime, it is not necessary to wake him or her up for Havdalah. <ref>Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurebach as cited in Rabbi Dovid Ostroff, The Shabbos Weekly</ref>

#According to one opinion, you can have a child do melacha for you if it is only an issur derabanan<ref>Turei Zahav as cited in A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot: A Halachic Guide By: Samuel Singer</ref> According to most opinions you may not ask a child to do a melacha for you under any circumstances even melacha derabanan. <ref>A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot: A Halachic Guide By: Samuel Singer </ref>

#Even though one cannot ask a child to do melacha, if a young child is playing with a toy that makes noise on shabbat, you don’t have to tell the kid to stop if he is too young to understand the laws of shabbat <ref>A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot: A Halachic Guide By: Samuel Singer </ref>

#But, if a kid is old enough to understand which actions are forbidden and which are allowed to do on shabbat, then you must stop him from doing melacha <ref>A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot: A Halachic Guide By: Samuel Singer </ref>

#The age a child should be kept up for the whole pesach seder is when he can fully understand the mitzvah and the story of Egypt. This of course varies depending on how the child matures, but for most it is between age 5-7.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Orech Chaim 472:15. Shulchan Aruch Harav 472:25</ref>

#A child should drink the four cups when he can understand, even just a little bit, the story of Egypt; he does not, however, need to drink the same amount as an adult but rather a child-size cheek full <ref>The Laws of Pesach on www.neveh.org </ref>

#Although the lulav should be kosher, according to some, on the first day of Sukkot a child does not have to own his lulav like adults do. According to others, a child should also use a lulav that he owns. Therefore, the child should use the lulav after all adults have used the lulav, because a child can acquire a lulav from an adult, but cannot transfer it back to the adult’s ownership.<ref>"Sukkot." A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mizvot. Hoboken: Ketav House, 1991.59. Print.</ref>

#There is a minhag for a boy to fast 3 fasts prior to his Bar Mitzvah.<ref>Rav Nevinsal (B'Yitzchak Yikare 550:1) comments that the minhag ashkenaz is for a boy to fast 3 times prior to his bar mitzvah, though he doesn't know the basis for this minhag.</ref>

#The Torah study of pure children is very precious before Hashem and it provides spiritual protection to the whole world.<ref>The Gemara Shabbat 119a quotes Reish Lakish as saying that the world stands on the merit of the children's torah study. Furthermore, says the Gemara, a city which doesn't have its children studying Torah is going to be destroyed.</ref>

#A life devoted to Hashem is the most pleasurable and fulfilling one. Therefore, the Chinuch stage must be pleasing and joyful for children. The proper attitude and approach for children to learn is through "Darchei No'am" (pleasant ways). <ref>Rambam in his introduction to Perek Chelek elaborates on how a child should be given sweets to encourage him to learn, as he gets older he should be given bigger prizes until eventually he will appreciate the value of the Torah itself and be motivated to learn it for no other reason </ref>

#A parent and/or teacher should generally be careful not to be excessively forceful. There are several cases where Talmudic personalities praised their behavior of not being "makpid"(strict) in their home over their wives and children even though they lived a life filled with mitzvot <ref>Gitin 7a</ref>

#The gedolim have all agreed that hitting children in the name of chinuch is forbidden.<ref>Rav Wolbe in Biyan Uzeriya Bechinuch. Rav Kook in Ayn Ayah Brachot 7a:70</ref>

#It is forbidden to feed a child something that is forbidden, whether it is forbidden from the Torah or rabbinically.<ref>The Rambam Machalot Asurot 17:27 holds that it is forbidden to feed a child something forbidden whether that prohibition is from the Torah or rabbinic. The Rashba responsa 1:92 argues that it is permitted as long as it is only rabbinic yet he cautioned that he didn't rule like that in practice. Ran Yoma 1a quotes the Rashba. The Shulchan Aruch 343:1 holds like the Rambam.</ref>

#It is permitted to feed a baby milk an hour after they finished eating meat even though the minhag is to not to have milk after meat for several hours.<ref>Chelkat Yakov YD 1:16 is lenient to permit a baby to drink milk after eating meat since it is only a minhag and since a minhag is based on a vow it a child's vows aren't effective. However, he limits this leniency to this context and only permits in conjunction with the fact that a baby is considered like a choleh shein bo sakana if they need to drink milk for health. Yabia Omer YD 1:4 is lenient after an hour but adds that perhaps there's no prohibition of feeding a child something forbidden if it is only an external prohibition and not a prohibition of the food itself.</ref>

#Many poskim are lenient even for Ashkenazim to feed a child who needs to eat kitniyot on Pesach for health reasons since it is only a minhag.<ref>Shem Aryeh EH 95 writes that there's no issue with feeding a child below chinuch something (latfiso byadayim) that is only a chumra and not even a rabbinic prohibition. He is writing about not eating dried fruits on Pesach which was a certain minhag. The Sdei Chemed Chametz Umatzah 6:6 quotes it regarding Kitniyot. Siach Yitzchak responsa 210 agrees. Yechave Daat 1:9 agrees. He quotes Kol Mevaser 778, Agudat Ezov 12 who also agree that there's no prohibition of feeding a child something that's only a minhag. Agudat Ezov is lenient even with bishul akum. Sdei Chemed Asifat Zekenim Bishul Goyim 15 quotes that.</ref>