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Chinuch: Difference between revisions
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== Until When? == | == Until When? == | ||
# Although the primary purpose of Chinuch is to train children when they are young so that they continue to perform the Mitzvot during adulthood, the parents' obligations does not end when a child reaches bar or bat mitzvah. A parent must make sure that the child continues to adhere to all biblical or rabbinic laws even after maturity. <ref> Children in Halacha pg. 8 </ref> | # Although the primary purpose of Chinuch is to train children when they are young so that they continue to perform the Mitzvot during adulthood, the parents' obligations does not end when a child reaches bar or bat mitzvah. A parent must make sure that the child continues to adhere to all biblical or rabbinic laws even after maturity. <ref> Children in Halacha pg. 8 </ref> | ||
== Daily Mitzvot == | == Daily Mitzvot == | ||
=== Prayer === | === Prayer === | ||
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=== Berachot === | === Berachot === | ||
* Children should be taught to say berachot before food at the age of 5, or when the children are able to say it properly. However many people have different customs to start having children say berachot at an earlier age. <ref> "CHINUCH AGE." Ahavsalom (n.d.): n. pag. Dh.ahavasolam.com. Web. 1 Feb. 2016. <http://dh.ahavasolam.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/A-List-of-Chinuch-Ages.pdf>, שלחן ערוך א”ח רט”ו:ג as cited in Singer, Shmuel. "A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot." Google Books. Shmuel Singer, n.d. Web. 01 Feb. 2016. <https://books.google.com/books?id=55NdTR7HfYAC&pg=PA20&lpg=PA20&dq=age%2Bchildren%2Bberachot&source=bl&ots=zwGJnqECD_&sig=xSHlovDBimMjahI64ia2ltu_5ho&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjHopOi39bKAhUBLyYKHRqADUEQ6AEIHDAA#v=onepage&q=age%20children%20berachot&f=false>. </ref> | * Children should be taught to say berachot before food at the age of 5, or when the children are able to say it properly. However many people have different customs to start having children say berachot at an earlier age. <ref> "CHINUCH AGE." Ahavsalom (n.d.): n. pag. Dh.ahavasolam.com. Web. 1 Feb. 2016. <http://dh.ahavasolam.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/A-List-of-Chinuch-Ages.pdf>, שלחן ערוך א”ח רט”ו:ג as cited in Singer, Shmuel. "A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot." Google Books. Shmuel Singer, n.d. Web. 01 Feb. 2016. <https://books.google.com/books?id=55NdTR7HfYAC&pg=PA20&lpg=PA20&dq=age%2Bchildren%2Bberachot&source=bl&ots=zwGJnqECD_&sig=xSHlovDBimMjahI64ia2ltu_5ho&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjHopOi39bKAhUBLyYKHRqADUEQ6AEIHDAA#v=onepage&q=age%20children%20berachot&f=false>. | ||
* Yalkut Yosef (Chinuch p. 20) quotes the Chikrei Lev who proves that there is chinuch even on derabbanan mitzvot as the gemara Rosh Hashana 29b indicates that a person should teach his son how to make hamotzei before eating bread.</ref> | |||
* Some say that children from the age of 6 should say Birkat Hamazon <ref> Rabbi Mansour on dailyhalacha.com writes that parents should ensure that children from the age of 6 say Birkat HaMazon. </ref> | * Some say that children from the age of 6 should say Birkat Hamazon <ref> Rabbi Mansour on dailyhalacha.com writes that parents should ensure that children from the age of 6 say Birkat HaMazon. </ref> | ||
* In order to teach children what berachot they should say, and how they should say them, the parent should show/teach the children by saying berachot in front of the child. A parent of a young child is allowed to help the child say the berachot by saying it with them, including the saying of G-d’s name, and the parent is allowed to answer “amen” to berachot that are said improperly or are incomplete if the child is still learning. <ref> Mishnah Berurah (167:93) . See Chanoch L’Naar (14:4). As cited in "CHINUCH AGE." Ahavsalom (n.d.): n. pag. Dh.ahavasolam.com. Web. 1 Feb. 2016. <http://dh.ahavasolam.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/A-List-of-Chinuch-Ages.pdf>. </ref> | * In order to teach children what berachot they should say, and how they should say them, the parent should show/teach the children by saying berachot in front of the child. A parent of a young child is allowed to help the child say the berachot by saying it with them, including the saying of G-d’s name, and the parent is allowed to answer “amen” to berachot that are said improperly or are incomplete if the child is still learning. <ref> Mishnah Berurah (167:93) . See Chanoch L’Naar (14:4). As cited in "CHINUCH AGE." Ahavsalom (n.d.): n. pag. Dh.ahavasolam.com. Web. 1 Feb. 2016. <http://dh.ahavasolam.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/A-List-of-Chinuch-Ages.pdf>. </ref> | ||
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* Mishna Brurah 215:14 writes that it is permitted for the teacher to say the Brachot with hashem’s name to teach the children how to say the Brachot. Although saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] for Chinuch is permitted, saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] as one is learning such as an adult who finds the text of a [[Brachot|Bracha]] in the gemara as he is learning should not say the [[Brachot|Bracha]] with hashem’s name as one is reading the gemara. However, Yalkut Yosef 215:15 writes that in order to teach a child how to say Brachot one may say them with Hashem’s name, however, once the child knows how to make a [[Brachot|Bracha]] and he just needs help in saying the [[Brachot|Bracha]] one should say it without ashem’s name.</ref> | * Mishna Brurah 215:14 writes that it is permitted for the teacher to say the Brachot with hashem’s name to teach the children how to say the Brachot. Although saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] for Chinuch is permitted, saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] as one is learning such as an adult who finds the text of a [[Brachot|Bracha]] in the gemara as he is learning should not say the [[Brachot|Bracha]] with hashem’s name as one is reading the gemara. However, Yalkut Yosef 215:15 writes that in order to teach a child how to say Brachot one may say them with Hashem’s name, however, once the child knows how to make a [[Brachot|Bracha]] and he just needs help in saying the [[Brachot|Bracha]] one should say it without ashem’s name.</ref> | ||
=== Washing for Bread === | === Washing for Bread === | ||
# Children that have not reached the age of bar or bat mitzvah are required to wash their hands before eating bread. Even though washing hands is a mitzvah derabanan, it is a mitzvah of chinuch to teach kids mitzvot that are derabanan. <ref> Yalkut Yosef Dinei [[Netilat Yadayim]], Birkat Hamazon, [[Brachot]], [[Mincha]] and [[Arvit]] page 13-14 based on the Yerushalmi in Megilla 2:5 that [[chinuch]] of children applies to rabbinic laws as cited in [[Netilat Yadayim for a Meal]]. | # Children that have not reached the age of bar or bat mitzvah are required to wash their hands before eating bread. Even though washing hands is a mitzvah derabanan, it is a mitzvah of chinuch to teach kids mitzvot that are derabanan. <ref> Yalkut Yosef Dinei [[Netilat Yadayim]], Birkat Hamazon, [[Brachot]], [[Mincha]] and [[Arvit]] page 13-14 based on the Yerushalmi in Megilla 2:5 that [[chinuch]] of children applies to rabbinic laws as cited in [[Netilat Yadayim for a Meal]]. | ||
<br /> An important lesson about chinuch in general can be learned from a story about trying to teach one’s son to wash before eating. It talks about a little kid who did not wash before eating bread. This infuriated his dad so he went to get something to hit him with. When he wound up to hit his son, his wife immediately stopped him and reminded him that he does not wash before eating bread either, thus he should be the one that is hit. The lesson is that if you want to successfully teach your children mitzvot, you have to take ownership and do the mitzvah as well. "חינוך לדורות - חינוך במעשים." <http://raktora.50webs.com/hinuh1.htm>.</ref> | <br /> An important lesson about chinuch in general can be learned from a story about trying to teach one’s son to wash before eating. It talks about a little kid who did not wash before eating bread. This infuriated his dad so he went to get something to hit him with. When he wound up to hit his son, his wife immediately stopped him and reminded him that he does not wash before eating bread either, thus he should be the one that is hit. The lesson is that if you want to successfully teach your children mitzvot, you have to take ownership and do the mitzvah as well. "חינוך לדורות - חינוך במעשים." <http://raktora.50webs.com/hinuh1.htm>.</ref> | ||
# One opinion is that even when the child is being spoon fed because he does not have the motor skills to feed himself yet, he still is required to wash for bread when he eats more than a Kezayit. <ref>הרב אבישלום מונייצר שליט''א. "ילדים כהלכה." ילדים כהלכה. </ref> | # One opinion is that even when the child is being spoon fed because he does not have the motor skills to feed himself yet, he still is required to wash for bread when he eats more than a Kezayit. <ref>הרב אבישלום מונייצר שליט''א. "ילדים כהלכה." ילדים כהלכה. </ref> | ||
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# A kohen must never become Tamei so as a baby it is the parent's responsibility to keep the baby from being near dead bodies.<ref>dinonline.org</ref> | # A kohen must never become Tamei so as a baby it is the parent's responsibility to keep the baby from being near dead bodies.<ref>dinonline.org</ref> | ||
# Once the Kohen is old enough and mature enough to be taught the obligation of not becoming tamei the responsibility to keep the child from becoming Tamei falls off the parents and on the child <ref>dinonline.org</ref> | # Once the Kohen is old enough and mature enough to be taught the obligation of not becoming tamei the responsibility to keep the child from becoming Tamei falls off the parents and on the child <ref>dinonline.org</ref> | ||
== Shabbat == | == Shabbat == | ||
=== Kiddush and Havdalah === | === Kiddush and Havdalah === | ||
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# Even though one cannot ask a child to do melacha, if a young child is playing with a toy that makes noise on shabbat, you don’t have to tell the kid to stop if they are too young to understand the laws of shabbat <ref> A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot: A Halachic Guide By: Samuel Singer </ref> | # Even though one cannot ask a child to do melacha, if a young child is playing with a toy that makes noise on shabbat, you don’t have to tell the kid to stop if they are too young to understand the laws of shabbat <ref> A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot: A Halachic Guide By: Samuel Singer </ref> | ||
# But, if a kid is old enough to understand which action are forbidden and which are allowed to do on shabbat, then you must stop them from doing melacha <ref> A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot: A Halachic Guide By: Samuel Singer </ref> | # But, if a kid is old enough to understand which action are forbidden and which are allowed to do on shabbat, then you must stop them from doing melacha <ref> A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot: A Halachic Guide By: Samuel Singer </ref> | ||
== Holidays == | == Holidays == | ||
=== The Seder === | === The Seder === | ||
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=== Fasting === | === Fasting === | ||
# There is a minhag for a boy to fast 3 fasts prior to his Bar Mitzvah.<Ref>Rav Nevinsal (B'Yitzchak Ikara 550:1) comments that the minhag ashkenaz is for a boy to fast 3 times prior to his bar mitzvah, though he doesn't know the basis for this minhag.</ref> | # There is a minhag for a boy to fast 3 fasts prior to his Bar Mitzvah.<Ref>Rav Nevinsal (B'Yitzchak Ikara 550:1) comments that the minhag ashkenaz is for a boy to fast 3 times prior to his bar mitzvah, though he doesn't know the basis for this minhag.</ref> | ||
==Torah Study== | |||
# The Torah study of pure children is very precious before Hashem and it provides spiritual protection to the whole world.<ref>The Gemara Shababt 119a quotes Reish Lakish as saying that the world stands on the merit of the children's torah study. Furthermore, says the Gemara, a city which doesn't have its children studying Torah is going to be destroyed.</ref> | |||
== Chinuch Attitude == | == Chinuch Attitude == | ||
# A life devoted to | # A life devoted to Hashem is the most pleasurable and fulfilling one. Therefore, the Chinuch stage must be pleasing and joyful for children. The proper attitude and approach for children to learn is through "Darchei No'am" (pleasant ways). <ref> Rambam in his introduction to Perek HaChelek elaborates on how a child should be given sweets to encourage him to learn, as he gets older he should be given bigger prizes until eventually he will appreciate the value of the Torah itself and be motivated to learn it for no other reason, </ref> | ||
# A parent and/or teacher should generally be careful not to be excessively forceful. There are several cases where Talmudic personalities praised their behavior of not being "makpid"(strict) in their home over their wives and children even though they lived a life filled with mitzvot.<ref>Gitin 7a</ref> | # A parent and/or teacher should generally be careful not to be excessively forceful. There are several cases where Talmudic personalities praised their behavior of not being "makpid"(strict) in their home over their wives and children even though they lived a life filled with mitzvot.<ref>Gitin 7a</ref> | ||
# An important lesson about chinuch in general can be learned from a story about trying to teach one’s son to wash before eating. It talks about a little kid who did not wash before eating bread. This infuriated his dad so he went to get something to hit him with. When he wound up to hit his son, his wife immediately stopped him and reminded him that he does not wash before eating bread either, thus he should be the one that is hit. The lesson is that if you want to successfully teach your children mitzvot, you have to take ownership and do the mitzvah as well. <ref> "חינוך לדורות - חינוך במעשים." Raktora. N.p., n.d. Web. 8 Feb. 2016. <http://raktora.50webs.com/hinuh1.htm>.</ref> | # An important lesson about chinuch in general can be learned from a story about trying to teach one’s son to wash before eating. It talks about a little kid who did not wash before eating bread. This infuriated his dad so he went to get something to hit him with. When he wound up to hit his son, his wife immediately stopped him and reminded him that he does not wash before eating bread either, thus he should be the one that is hit. The lesson is that if you want to successfully teach your children mitzvot, you have to take ownership and do the mitzvah as well. <ref> "חינוך לדורות - חינוך במעשים." Raktora. N.p., n.d. Web. 8 Feb. 2016. <http://raktora.50webs.com/hinuh1.htm>.</ref> | ||
