Chinuch: Difference between revisions

==D’Orayta or D’Rabanan?==

The Mitzvah of Chinuch - to teach Torah to our children - is clearly a Mitzvah D’Orayta as explicitly stated: V’shinantam L’vanecha.<ref>Devarim 6 pasuk 7</ref> However, is the Mitzvah of chinuch - to instruct children to begin performing Mitzvot before they are of the age of Mitzvot - a mitzva D’Orayata or D’Rabanan?

#Rav Schneur Zalman of Liadi says that it is clearly a mitzvah D’rabanan because it is never mentioned in the Torah.  <ref>Shulchun Aruch Harav Y.D. 246:1. see Sefer Chinuch Yisrael (p. 59) writes that Chinuch is a rabbinical Mitzvah, and quotes the Chaye Adam (66:1) who writes that this is a Mitzvah Midivrei Kabbalah (institution of the Nevi'im).</ref>

#However, Rav Meir Simchah of Dvinsk disagrees, citing Bereshit  “For I have known him, to the end that he may command his children and his household after him”<ref>Bereshit Perek 18 pasuk 19 </ref> which he interprets to mean that Avraham was commanded to teach his household and children to perform the Mitzvot. This, however, is a general Mitzvah to teach children to appreciate Mitzvot. The Mitzvah to teach a child to perform each individual Mitzvah is D’Rabanan.<ref>Meshakh Ḥochmah Genesis 18:19 </ref>

==At What Age?==

##For Shabbat some say that the age of chinuch begins at age 4 or 5.<ref>Muktzeh: A Practical Guide (Rabbi Simcha Bunim Cohen p. 138)</ref>

#There are some mitzvos in which parents start training their children even before five years of age. But some mitzvos can be more complicated and parents should wait until children are older to train them.<ref>Mishnah Berurah 128:123 </ref>

==Who is obligated in Chinuch?==

#The book of  Mishlei says that one should teach his child in a manner which will stick with him forever: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Rashi comments on this pasuk saying that depending on what you teach him those lessons will affect him the rest of his life. This means that the parent has the responsibility to teach the child life lessons. This belief would suggest that chinuch is a mitzvah for the father, because he is the one who will have the ability to affect his child's future.<ref>Mishlei (22:6) and Rashi there as cited in ShortVort written by D. Fine. Ritva Sukkah 2b s.v. amar rabbi yehuda and Mishna Brurah 343:2 cite Mishlei as the source for chinuch. </ref>

#Some rishonim hold that the son isn't obligated in mitzvot at all and it is only father who is obligated to train his son in mitzvot.<ref>Rashi (Brachot 20a s.v. ketanim), Ran (Megillah 6b s.v. rabbi yehuda) citing the Ramban, Ritva (Megillah 19b s.v. hakol), Tosfot Bava Kama 87a s.v. vkein</ref> However, others hold that the child himself is rabbinically obligated in mitzvot.<ref>Tosfot (Megillah 19b s.v. vrabbi yehuda), Tosfot (Brachot 20a s.v. vketanim), Rashba (Brachot 20a s.v. nashim)</ref>

*The Gemara Nazir 28b writes that there is only an idea of a father training his son in being a nazir and not a mother. Reish Lakish understands that this is an example of chinuch. Tosfot Yeshanim (Yoma 82a s.v. ben) explicitly holds that there is no chinuch for a mother. Aruch Lener Sukkah 2b agrees. Ritva (Sukkah 2b s.v. amar rabbi yehuda) assumes that there is chinuch for a mother.</ref>

==Until When?==

==Daily Mitzvot==

===Prayer===

===Berachot===

*Yalkut Yosef (Chinuch p. 20) quotes the Chikrei Lev who proves that there is chinuch even on mitzvot derabanan, as the gemara Rosh Hashana 29b indicates that a person should teach his son how to make hamotzei before eating bread.</ref>

#A parent is allowed to answer “amen” to berachot that are said by a child at the proper time, but not when it is just for practice.<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 215:3 </ref>

##Some limit this to answering "amen" to a child who has reached the age of chinuch,<ref>M.B. 215:16 and Aruch HaShulchan 215:2. Rav Simcha Bunim Cohen (Children in Halacha page 22 footnote 6) explains that since the child has not reached the age of chinuch, it is not a bracha and therefore one shouldn't answer amen.</ref> but others allow answering "amen" even to a child before the age of chinuch. The custom is to answer even to younger children.<ref>Rav Simcha Bunim Cohen (Children in Halacha page 22) quoting from Shmirat Shabbat KiHilchita Mahdura Kama 32:193 explains that it is teaching children to answer Amen after brachot. </ref>

#While there is a prohibition in saying G-d's Name (Ado-nai) when it is isn't warranted, the prohibition is waived when being used in the process of Chinuch. Therefore, it is permitted (obligatory, rather) to say the full [[Brachot|Bracha]], with Shem and Malchut, in order to teach a child how and when to say what [[Brachot]].<ref>The Gemara (Brachot 53b) says that one doesn’t say amen after the [[Brachot|Bracha]] of a katan when he is just saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] as he is being taught the Brachot. The Rambam (Brachot 1:15) codifies as halacha. The Kesef Mishna there writes that it’s clearly implied that the teacher is permitted to say the Brachot with Hashem’s name to teach the children how to say the Brachot and when the children repeat the [[Brachot|Bracha]] after him, since the [[Brachot|Bracha]] is only for Chinuch, one doesn’t answer amen. Shulchan Aruch 215:3 rules that if a child is saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] as he is learning from his teacher one doesn’t answer amen, but if a child says a [[Brachot|Bracha]] in order to exempt himself from some obligation (meaning saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] when he is obligated to say it), then one should answer amen.

#With regards to Birkat HaGomel see [[Birkat_HaGomel#Who_is_obligated_to_make_Birchat_HaGomel.3F|Birkat HaGomel page]].

===Washing Hands===

<br /> An important lesson about chinuch in general can be learned from a story about trying to teach one’s son to wash before eating. It talks about a little kid who did not wash before eating bread. This infuriated his dad so he went to get something to hit him with. When he wound up to hit his son, his wife immediately stopped him and reminded him that he does not wash before eating bread either, thus he should be the one that is hit. The lesson is that if you want to successfully teach your children mitzvot, you have to take ownership and do the mitzvah as well. "חינוך לדורות - חינוך במעשים."  <http://raktora.50webs.com/hinuh1.htm>.</ref>

==Bringing Children to Shul==  

There is a lot of controversy over the issue of bringing your kids to shul. Is it a positive thing that will be positive for their future or will it be a distraction to others and a negative outlook on shul for the child?

#The gemara  writes that the reason why children were also supposed to assemble at hakhel was to ‘bring reward to those who brought them’. Tosafot comments that this is the source for bringing children to shul.<ref>Chagigah 3a</ref>

#The Mishna Berura writes that one shouldn’t daven with a young child in front of himm as the child will likely distract him.<ref>Mishna Berura 96:4</ref>

#One should not kiss a young child in shul.<ref>Rama O.C. 98:1 quotes Shut Binyamin Zev 163 that explains the reason is, so that one realizes that there is no love like the love one has for Hashem. See Sefer Chasidim 255

==A Kohen Becoming Tamei==

#A kohen must never become Tamei, so as a baby it is the parent's responsibility to keep the baby from being near dead bodies.<ref>dinonline.org</ref>

#Once the Kohen is old enough and mature enough to be taught the obligation of not becoming tamei the responsibility to keep the child from becoming Tamei falls off the parents and on the child <ref>dinonline.org</ref>

===Kiddush and Havdalah===

#If a child goes to sleep before hearing havdallah or Kiddush on Friday night and it is past the child’s normal bedtime, some say it is not necessary to wake him or her up for Kiddush/Havdalah.<ref>Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurebach as cited in Rabbi Dovid Ostroff, The Shabbos Weekly</ref> Others say that on Friday night, the child may say Kiddush before going to sleep after [[plag haMincha]].<ref>Rav Simcha Bunim Cohen (Children in Halacha page 58) </ref> Others suggest that if the child did not say kiddush on Friday night or havdallah,  he should say the Friday night text for the Shabbos morning kiddush and havdallah when he wakes up on Sunday morning.<ref>Rav Simcha Bunim Cohen (Children in Halacha page 58) quoting from Sefer Chinuch Yisroel page 99. Rav Cohen says that we have an obligation of chinuch even for bdieved situations. Our children have to know what to do when they grow up and this situation occurs.</ref>

#On Shabbat, a parent cannot tell a kid to do melacha.<ref>Shabbat 121a, Shulchan Aruch O.C. 343:1</ref> This is a Biblical prohibition.<ref>Shemot 20:10, Mechilta there, Ramban Sefer Hamitzvot shoresh 14, Rashba Shabbat 153a, Mishkenot Yakov OC 118, Shaar Hatziyun 334:54</ref>

#Even though one cannot ask a child to do melacha, if a young child is playing with a toy that makes noise on shabbat, you don’t have to tell the kid to stop if he is too young to understand the laws of shabbat <ref>Yevamot 114a, A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot: A Halachic Guide By: Samuel Singer </ref>

#But, if a kid is old enough to understand which actions are forbidden and which are allowed to do on Shabbat, then you must stop him from doing melacha based on Chinuch.<ref>Rama O.C. 343:1. A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot: A Halachic Guide By: Samuel Singer </ref>

#Children are chayav to perform the mitzvah of lulav when they are able to shake the lulav <ref>Gemara sukkah 42a</ref>

#The Turei Zahav says that a parent should buy his son his own set of lulav if he is able to do it, and the father has the financial means to do it.

#Although the lulav should be kosher, according to some, on the first day of Sukkot a child does not have to own his lulav like adults do. According to others, a child should also use a lulav that he owns. Therefore, the child should use the lulav after all adults have used the lulav, because a child can acquire a lulav from an adult, but cannot transfer it back to the adult’s ownership.<ref>"Sukkot." A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mizvot. Hoboken: Ketav House, 1991.59. Print.</ref>

===Fasting===

==Chinuch Attitude==

#A parent and/or teacher should generally be careful not to be excessively forceful. There are several cases where Talmudic personalities praised their behavior of not being "makpid"(strict) in their home over their wives and children even though they lived a life filled with mitzvot <ref>Gitin 7a</ref>

#The gedolim have all agreed that hitting children in the name of chinuch is forbidden.<ref>Rav Wolbe in Biyan Uzeriya Bechinuch. Rav Kook in Ayn Ayah Brachot 7a:70</ref>