Revenge and Bearing a Grudge (Lo Tikom veLo Titor)

From Halachipedia

One who bears a grudge or takes revenge violates the negative prohibition of "Lo Tikom and Lo Titor", i.e. Do not take revenge and do not bear a grudge [1].

Revenge

  1. Revenge: Reuven asked Shimon to borrow his shovel. Shimon refused. The next day, Shimon asked Reuven to borrow his shovel, and Reuven refused, saying "I am not going to lend you my shovel, just as you didn't loan me your shovel." [2]
  2. In this situation, Reuven should loan Shimon the shovel with a full heart; it is fitting for a person to be "Ma'avir al Midosav", or forgiving. This becomes easier when one considers the futility and unimportance of worldly matters, which aren't worthy of taking revenge over. [3]

Bearing a Grudge

  1. Bearing a Grudge: Reuven asked Shimon to borrow his shovel, but Shimon didn't want to. [4]. Eventually, Shimon came to Reuven to ask him to borrow an object. Reuven replied: "I am not like you, and I won't respond in kind. [I will loan to you, even though you didn't loan to me.]" [5].
  2. In this situation, Reuven should erase the matter from his heart completely. This makes human interaction possible [6].

Sources

  1. ↑ Vayikra 19:18. 'לֹא תִקֹּם וְלֹא תִטֹּר אֶת בְּנֵי עַמֶּךָ וְאָהַבְתָּ לְרֵעֲךָ כָּמוֹךָ אֲנִי ה. Rambam Sefer HaMitzvot Lavin 304-305
  2. ↑ Kitzur S"A 30:7
  3. ↑ Kitzur S"A 30:7.
  4. ↑ The Kitzur S"A changes the לשון slightly from the first case.
  5. ↑ Kitzur S"A 30:9
  6. ↑ Kitzur S"A 30:9 citing the Rambam
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