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Onen: Difference between revisions
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An "onen" is a person whose immediate relative has died | An "onen" is a person whose immediate relative has died<ref>This term is used several times in Chazal, and is derived from the pasuk in Devarim 26:14. Brachos 18b refers to a person "dead is lying before him," and this appears to be the same category as one who would be described as an "onen," although the equivalence of these two phrases is not necessarily absolute.</ref> and is yet to be buried.<ref>Yerushalmi Pesachim 8:8 records a dispute as to whether or not aninus Deoraisa, the day of death, continues until nightfall even if the burial already took place. Ramban (Toras HaAdam "Aninus") believes that it does, but Rashi to Zevachim 15b and 90b writes that it does not. In practice, one does not observe aninus after the burial at all even if it is still the day of death (Bach and Shach Y.D. 341:2).</ref> The state of being an onen is called "aninus".<ref>M'Deoraisa, an onen is prohibited from eating kodshim or maaser sheni, as evident from Vayikra 10:19 and Devarim 26:14 respectively.</ref> | ||
==Upon Whom and When Does Aninus Apply== | ==Upon Whom and When Does Aninus Apply== | ||
# A person is an "onen" from the time that he hears of the death of any one of his seven relatives, until the time of burial. These seven relatives are: one's (1) father, (2) mother, (3) son, (4) daughter, (5) sister, (6) brother, and (7) spouse. | # A person is an "onen" from the time that he hears of the death of any one of his seven relatives, until the time of burial. These seven relatives are: one's (1) father, (2) mother, (3) son, (4) daughter, (5) sister, (6) brother, and (7) spouse.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 374:4. The Rambam in Hilchos Avel 2:1 considers the obligation of mourning for a spouse to be Midivreihem, which most (cf. Lechem Mishnah there) assume to mean that it is derabanan (although this is not the understanding of the Kesef Mishnah there). Ramban, however, in Toras HaAdam (Chavel ed.) page 213 believes that it must be deoraisa. Additionally, Ramban writes (to Vayikra 21:3) that mourning for one's married sister, or a married sister mourning for her brother, is only derabanan.</ref> Generally, anyone obligated in [[mourning]] after the burial is obligated to observe aninus before the burial.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 341:1. The Badei Hashulchan (341:4, Biurim page 75-76) writes, against Sh"t Bnyan Tziyon 113, that it is best to be stringent regarding meat, wine, and tashmish even for a child who has died before living out thirty days, despite the fact that there is no aveilus for such a child, but such a person is still obligated in mitzvos.</ref> | ||
# The common practice is that even someone whose relative that has passed away is in a different city, or another relative is taking care of the burial needs, is still considered an "onen".<ref>Rabbeinu Tam, as quoted in Tosfos Brachos 18b and Rosh Brachos 3:3, did not consider himself to be an onen when his married sister died, either because his sister's husband would take care of the burial, or, as explained by the Bach Yoreh Deah 341:4 (and Shach Y.D. 341:5) explains, because he was in a different city. Either way, the Rosh there and Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 341:1) writes that this opinion was not accepted.</ref> However, not all agree with this view.<ref>See Shach Y.D. 341:4</ref> | # The common practice is that even someone whose relative that has passed away is in a different city, or another relative is taking care of the burial needs, is still considered an "onen".<ref>Rabbeinu Tam, as quoted in Tosfos Brachos 18b and Rosh Brachos 3:3, did not consider himself to be an onen when his married sister died, either because his sister's husband would take care of the burial, or, as explained by the Bach Yoreh Deah 341:4 (and Shach Y.D. 341:5) explains, because he was in a different city. Either way, the Rosh there and Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 341:1) writes that this opinion was not accepted.</ref> However, not all agree with this view.<ref>See Shach Y.D. 341:4</ref> | ||
# Nowadays most communities have specific people who deal with the meis and the burial, such as a "Chevra Kadisha," and so the immediate relatives of the deceased do not take care of the burial directly.<ref>This is the generally understood meaning of 'כתפים' in Yerushalmi Brachos 3:1, cf. Moed Katan 22a</ref> Although some have stated that this custom frees the relatives from their status as onenim,<ref>Shulchan Aruch 341:3 based on Tosfos Brachos 18b, Tur Y.D. 375 quoting Behag, Toras HaAdam (Chavel ed.) p. 70, Chochmas Adam Klal 153:3</ref> others believe that a relative is only free from being an onen if he does not accompany the meis to the burial.<Noda Biyhudah Tinyana Y.D 211 cited in Pischei Teshuvah 341:1, cf. Hagahos Maimoni Hil. Eivel 3:6.</ref> While some communities follow the first view, most believe that a person is still an onen nowadays when a Chevra Kadisha takes care of the meis.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 341:20-23 writes that this must be the case, considering that the Shulchan Aruch paskens (341:1) that even a relative who is in a faraway city and will not be involved in the burial is still an onen. Rather, the Gemara is referring to those who have followed the meis until a certain point, and then return home while the meis is sent to be buried.</ref> | # Nowadays most communities have specific people who deal with the meis and the burial, such as a "Chevra Kadisha," and so the immediate relatives of the deceased do not take care of the burial directly.<ref>This is the generally understood meaning of 'כתפים' in Yerushalmi Brachos 3:1, cf. Moed Katan 22a</ref> Although some have stated that this custom frees the relatives from their status as onenim,<ref>Shulchan Aruch 341:3 based on Tosfos Brachos 18b, Tur Y.D. 375 quoting Behag, Toras HaAdam (Chavel ed.) p. 70, Chochmas Adam Klal 153:3</ref> others believe that a relative is only free from being an onen if he does not accompany the meis to the burial.<Noda Biyhudah Tinyana Y.D 211 cited in Pischei Teshuvah 341:1, cf. Hagahos Maimoni Hil. Eivel 3:6.</ref> While some communities follow the first view, most believe that a person is still an onen nowadays when a Chevra Kadisha takes care of the meis.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 341:20-23 writes that this must be the case, considering that the Shulchan Aruch paskens (341:1) that even a relative who is in a faraway city and will not be involved in the burial is still an onen. Rather, the Gemara is referring to those who have followed the meis until a certain point, and then return home while the meis is sent to be buried.</ref> | ||
# One who only accompanies the meis only until a certain point, but not all the way to the burial, is no longer an onen once they leave the meis.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2, Hashulchan Y.D. 341:21-22. Although the Aruch Hashulchan in 324:23 indicates that this is only true if the meis will be traveling for at least a two-day's journey, see Minchas Shelomo 91:25. See there also regarding a relative who will not be with the meis at all the entire time</ref> | # One who only accompanies the meis only until a certain point, but not all the way to the burial, is no longer an onen once they leave the meis.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2, Hashulchan Y.D. 341:21-22. Although the Aruch Hashulchan in 324:23 indicates that this is only true if the meis will be traveling for at least a two-day's journey, see Minchas Shelomo 91:25. See there also regarding a relative who will not be with the meis at all the entire time</ref> | ||
# The relatives of someone who died in captivity do not practice aninus at all, and not aveilus until the burial.<ref>Tosfos Brachos 18a, Rambam Hilchos Avel 1:3, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 341:4, Shach 341:15</ref> However, many believe that this was only the case if the captors wouldn't release the body until ransom negotiations were made, but today, if the meis is being held for medical or legal reasons, aninus does apply right away, because one can be sure that the meis will be returned to the family eventually.<ref>Noda BiYhudah Tinyanana Y.D. 211, Aruch Hashulchan 341:18</ref> | |||
==Aninus on Shabbos or Yom Tov== | |||
# The generally accepted pesak is that there is no aninus on Shabbos or Yom Tov,<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 341:1 based upon the Rosh</ref> and so an onen still performs all the usual mitzvos and brachos, including going to shul, on Shabbos or Yom Tov.<ref>Against what is written in the Yerushalmi Brachos 3:1. The Shulchan Aruch paskens that this is true if the onen is not doing anything at all to get ready for the burial on Shabbos or Yom Tov. If the onen is preparing for the burial on Shabbos or Yom Tov in a manner that is permitted, then the Shulchan Aruch writes that such a person would be a full onen even on Shabbos. Regarding Yom Tov Sheni of the diaspora, see Igros Moshe O.C. 3:76 who insists that today burials should not be performed on Yom Tov Sheni even by non-Jews.</ref> | |||
# On Shabbos, therefore, the onen is permitted (but not necessarily obligated)<ref>Rama Y.D. 341:1 and Shach 341:7 indicate that there is no obligation to eat meat or drink wine on Shabbos for anyone. However, based upon the Shulchan Aruch O.C. 242:1 and 250:2, the Badei Hashulchan 341:41 believes that someone who can afford to eat meat on Shabbos must do so, and this includes an onen. [Perhaps, because an onen is in a state of mental distress and might be uncomfortable eating meat, he can be described as השעה דחוקה לו as discussed in Shulchan Aruch O.C. 242:2, which would permit him to forgo eating meat on Shabbos]</ref> to eat meat and drink wine.<ref>On Yom Tov, it would appear that all agree that an onen is obligated to do so; cf. Shaarei Teshuvah 241:13. See Orach Chaim 696:7 regarding one whose relative died on Purim.</ref> | |||
# However, tashmish hamittah is prohibited for the onen even on Shabbos or Yom Tov.<ref>Moed Kattan 18a. Rabbeinu Yonah (on Rif Brachos 10b) writes that this is because it shows an excessive sense of frivolity, and Ramban (Torah HaAdam pg. 73 in Chavel edition) writes that the reason is because of כבוד המת, one must still show deference to the deceased.</ref> | |||
# Poskim dispute whether an onen is permitted to study Torah on Shabbos<ref>Dagul Mervavah to Magen Avraham O.C. 548:8 believes that it is permitted, but Rebbi Akiva Eiger to Y.D. 341:1 writes that it is prohibited. Badei Hashulchan 399:15 writes that it is permitted for an onen to study Torah on Yom Tov but not on Shabbos, like an avel.</ref> can be called to the Torah<ref>Rebbi Akiva Eiger to Y.D. 241:1 writes that because the Shulchan Aruch paskens in Y.D. 400:1 that an avel is prohibited from learning Torah on Shabbos, an avel and onen should therefore not be given an aliyah. </ref> or, if he is a kohen, perform [[Birkat Cohanim]].<ref>Mishnah Berurah O.C. 128:148 writes that ideally he should not perform birkat Kohanim, but if he was called up to do so, there is a dispute whether or not he should.</ref> | |||
==Exemption from Mitzvot== | ==Exemption from Mitzvot== | ||
