Three Weeks

From Halachipedia

When does the mourning period begin?

  1. The Ashkenazic minhag is to begin mourning from the fast of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. [1] There is a dispute whether the practices of mourning begin the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz (before the actual fast begins). [2]
  2. If Shiva Asar BeTamuz falls out on Shabbat and is pushed off to Sunday, then everyone agrees that the practices of mourning begin the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz (Motzei Shabbat). [3]

Buying new items

  1. One should not buy any clothes which would obligate one to make a Shechiyanu. [4]
  2. If one doesn't have non-leather shoes for Tisha BeAv and one forgot to buy, one may buy them after Rosh Chodesh Av. [5]
  3. If one doesn't have Tefillin or one has the oppurtunity to buy nicer Tefillin it's permissible to buy them after Rosh Chodesh Av. [6]
  4. One should refrain from buying Tzitzit or a Talit during the three weeks. [7]
  5. One should refrain from buying a car during the three weeks unless one is buying it primarily for business purposes (such as a truck). [8] However, if one's entire family will use it (and benefit from it) one may buy it until Rosh Chodesh Av and make a bracha of HaTov VeHaMetiev instead of Shechiyanu. [9]

Weddings

  1. The Ashkenazic custom is not to get married during the three weeks. [10] Among Sephardim, some have the custom not to get married during the nine days (from Rosh Chodesh Av until Tisha BeAv) [11] and some have the custom not to get married the entire three weeks. [12]

Cutting Hair

  1. According to Ashkenazim it’s forbidden to cut one’s hair for the entire three weeks, however, according to Sephardim one can’t cut hair until the week of Tisha BeAv. [13]
  2. For Sephardim it’s permitted to take a hair cut during the three weeks even a Sephardic Yeshiva Bachur in a Ashkenazi Yeshiva. [14]

Shaving

  1. There is a general prohibition of shaving during the three weeks just like hair cuts, however are several leniencies such as a person who shaves everyday, shaving for work, shaving for Kavod Shabbat. A person should follow his father’s minhag or ask his local Rabbi for guidance. [15]

Dancing

  1. Dancing is forbidden during the three weeks. [16]
  2. Some permit dancing at a seudah of Sheva Brachot, while others forbid. [17]

Saying Shechiyanu

  1. One should refrain from making a Shechiyanu during the Ben HaMeysarim. [18]
  2. However, a pregnant woman or a sick person is permitted to eat the new fruit. [19]
  3. On Shabbat one may make Shechiyanu. [20]
  4. On Shabbat Chazon one shouldn’t wear new clothes. [21]
  5. One shouldn’t make a Shechiyanu on the night of Sheva Asar BeTamuz, however, is there’s great need, there’s what to rely on. [22]

Eating a new fruit or wearing new clothing

  1. Because one shouldn’t make a Shechiyanu, one shouldn’t eat a new fruit or wear a new clothing because these actions require a Shechiyanu. [23]
  2. Since nowadays we don’t make a Shechiyanu on buying new clothes but only for wearing new clothes, some permit buying new clothes and some forbid. [24]

Listening to Music

Live Music

  1. It’s forbidden to listen to music from musical instruments during the three weeks. [25]

Non-live music

  1. Many authorities forbid listening to recorded music (music with instruments) during the three weeks. [26]

Live A cappella (singing without instruments)

  1. Some say that one may listen to vocal music (voices singing) during the three weeks but not the 9 days. [27]
  2. Many say that it is permissible to sing with one's mouth during the three weeks. [28]

Non-live A cappella

  1. Some say that listening to recorded vocal music is forbidden, while others permit. [29]

Brit Milah

  1. Some permit music at a meal for a Brit Milah during the three weeks. [30]

Siyum

  1. Some permit music at a meal for a Siyum of a Gemara (or the like) during the three weeks. [31]

Pidyon HaBen

  1. Some permit music at a meal for a Pidyon HaBen during the three weeks. [32]

Bar Mitzvah

  1. Some permit music at a meal for a Bar Mitzvah during the three weeks. [33]

Tzedaka Banquet

  1. One should be strict not to play music at a tzedaka banquet during the three weeks. [34]

Learning Torah

  1. It is permissible and a mitzvah to learn Torah with a tune and niggun even during the three weeks. [35]

A Music teacher or Musician

  1. Someone who plays music for a living may continue to play music during the three weeks up until the nine days. [36]

Question and Answers

  1. Is it permissible to shave during the 3 weeks for Kavod Shabbos? See above

References

  1. ↑ Rama 551:2 and 4
  2. ↑ Doleh UMashkeh (pg 208) quoting Rav Elashiv and Natai Gavriel (Ben HaMetzarim, vol 1, 14:5) are strict, while Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:168, 3:100 (at the end), and 4:112(2) permits in cases of great need (such as performing a wedding on Motzei Shabbat the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz). Igrot Moshe 3:100 adds that since saying Shechiyanu is a dispute there's no need to be strict not to say it the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Igrot Moshe 4:112(2) writes for great need one can be lenient to cut one's hair the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 writes that later Rav Moshe was asked about performing a wedding the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz and he advised doing the Chupah before Shekiyah. Shearim Metsiyunim BeHalacha 122:1 holds like Igrot Moshe. See also Kaf HaChaim 551:207 who quotes different opinions about this.
  3. ↑ Sh"t Igrot Moshe 3:100 (at the end)
  4. ↑ Mishna Brurah 551:99, Kaf Hachaim 551:210
  5. ↑ Sh"t Halachot Ketanot 1:139, Zeh HaShulchan (vol 2, Siman 551), Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein
  6. ↑ Zeh HaShulchan (vol 1, Siman 551), Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein
  7. ↑ Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshei Feinstein
  8. ↑ Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshei Feinstein
  9. ↑ Sh"t Igrot Moshe 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375
  10. ↑ Rama 551:2
  11. ↑ S"A 551:2
  12. ↑ Rabbi Mansour of Daily Halacha says that this is the Syrian minhag.
  13. ↑ The Gemara in Taanit 26b says that one shouldn’t cut one’s hair the week of Tisha BeAv. This Gemara is brought as Halacha by the Rambam (Taaniot 5:6). The Ramban (Torat HaAdam (Aveilut Yishana pg 246) explains that this isser applies to all hair on the body except the mustache if it interferes with eating. The Tur and S”A 551:3,12-13 rule like the Ramban that during the week of Tisha BeAv one is forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body except if there’s facial hair interfering with eating. However, Rama 551:4 rules that Ashkenazim should be strict not to cut hair all three weeks like the Sefer Minhagim (pg 74).
  14. ↑ Sh”t Yechave Daat 4:36, 3:39, Sh”t Yabea Omer 3:31:5, Yalkut Yosef (Kitzur S”A 551(2):11)
  15. ↑ Since S”A 551:12 rules that it’s forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body during the week of Tisha BeAv as a din from the Gemara it would seem clear that it’s forbidden to shave during the week of Tisha BeAv. Additionally, Ashkenazim who follow the Rama shouldn’t be able to shave during the entire three weeks as Rama 551:4 writes that the minhagim of the week of Tisha BeAv apply to the entire three weeks. However, there are several leniencies in the Achronim.
    • (1) Shaving Regularly: Magan Avraham 551:14 explains that the reason the Rama is strict by cutting hair all three week and is lenient by washing clothes (that it should only begin from Rosh Chodesh Av) is because it wasn’t common to cut hair every week. This Magan Avraham is brought by the Achronim including the Chaye Adam 133:17, and Mishna Brurah 551:32. Additionally, Aruch HaShulchan 551:16 explains that it takes 3 weeks of not cutting hair to make it recognizable that one is in mourning. Based on this, Shearim Metzuyim BeHalacha 122:5 says that those who usually shave every 2-3 days should be able to shave since for them it’s just like washing clothes. Rav Ovadyah in Chazon Ovadyah (Vol Arba Taniot pg 162) based on this M”A says that seemingly, Ashkenazim should be allowed to shave for Kavod Shabbat prior to the week of Tisha BeAv. However, Sh”t Shaar Zekenim pg 88a (quoted by Kaf HaChaim 551:65), Shivilei Dovid 551:4, and Rav Vozner in Sh”t Shevet HaLevi 10:81:3 reject this leniency based on the minhag to be strict for all circumstances.
    • (2) Uncomfortable: (a) Rabbi Elazar Melamed in Peninei Halacha (zmanim pg 154-5) writes that if a person shaves everyday it’s very uncomfortable not to shave and it’s similar to S”A 551:13 that permits shaving a moustache that interferes with eating. (b)Rav Solavatchik (quoted by Nefesh HaRav, Rav Shechter pg 191) compared the three weeks to the Avielut of a year, the week of Tisha BeAv (or according to Ashkenazim, from Rosh Chodesh) compares to the Avielut of Shloshim, and Tisha BeAv itself is like Avielut of Shiva. Accordingly, Rav Shechter writes that one who regularly shaves everyday would be allowed to shave everyday until Rosh Chodesh Av. (Rav Shechter supports this comparison from Sh”t Panim Meirot 3:37e, and goes so far as to question Sh”t Igrot Moshe Y”D 2:137 who compares the week of Tisha BeAv to Avielut of Shiva.)
    • (3) Shaving Specifically: Seemingly, from S”A 551:12 all bodily hair can’t be cut including shaving a beard. However, Sh”t Chatom Sofer Y”D 348 D”H VeIy Galach writes that the entire prohibition only applies to cutting one’s hair but the poskim never spoke about shaving facial hair. This chiluk is also made by the Sh”t Nodeh BeYehuda O”C 14. Shearim Metsuyim BeHalacha 122:5 brings these achronim as halacha for someone who needs to shave for work.
    • (4) Monetary loss: (a)Sh”t Maharam Shik Y”D 371 writes that there is what to defend those who it’s difficult to do business with important people without shaving and during the year they regularly shave every 2-3 days to continue in the three weeks until the week of Tisha BeAv. (b) Sh”t Igrot Moshe C”M 1:93, O”C 4:102, 5:24:9 writes that by loosing a business deal or customers that will effect one’s income after Tisha BeAv, one can shave until the week of Tisha BeAv, but during the week of Tisha BeAv itself it’s only permissible to shave if one will not be able to make an income after Tisha BeAv or without working one needs to borrow money and it’s difficult to find someone to borrow from). (c) Maadenei Shlomo pg 51 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that if there’s a chance you’ll loose you’re job you can shave (even during the week of Tisha BeAv). Halichot Shlomo pg 414 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach who says that it’s permissible for a person who is endanger of loosing a lot of money or his job may shave during the three weeks. (d)Shearim Metsuyim BeHalacha brings the Taz 551:1 (brought by Mishna Brurah 551:12) that says nowadays we don’t decrease our business activity during this time since we have to pay government taxes and all income is included in our Parnasa and therefore here too if there’s a chance of losing Parnasa that can be considered a concern of loss of money.
    • (4) Kavod Shabbat: (a) Magan Avraham 551:14 and Mishna Brurah 551:32 write that the prohibition of cutting hair applies even for Kavod Shabbat (unlike laundering which is relaxed for Kavod Shabbat for someone who doesn't have other clothes, because people don't cut their hair either way weekly). Yet, Pri Megadim (A”A 551:14) writes that according to Rama one can shave in honor of Shabbat until Rosh Chodesh Av. However, Mateh Yehuda 551:4 writes that even in honor of Shabbat one can’t shave during the three weeks. (b) On this dispute, Kaf HaChaim 551:66 writes that in this regard in depends on the minhag of the place (to follow the Pri Megadim or not), and Rabbi Moshe Karp in Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMeysarim (pg 25) writes that the Pri Megadim was more in line with minhag Ashkenaz than the Mateh Yehuda and there’s a lot to rely on to follow Pri Megadim. (c) Even on the original position of the Magan Avraham, the Hagot Rabbi Akiva Eiger and Buir Halacha 551:3 D”H VeChen (based on Tosfot Tanit and the Yerushalmi) argue that cutting hair should be permissible for Kavod Shabbat even for Shabbat Chazon. [However, the Rishonim themselves don’t all agree with Tosfot including the Kol Bo (quoted in Bet Yosef 551:4) who wouldn’t shave before Shabbat chazon and the Bet Yosef (who argues on Tosfot that it’s impossible to think that it’s permissible to cut hair on Tisha BeAv for Kavod Shabbat).] (d) Ashkenazim: Sh”t Ner Ezra (vol 2 pg 155-8) concludes that one can be lenient to shave for Kavod Shabbat and quotes Rav Aharon Lichtenstein who agrees. Weekly Parsha Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt writes that since many do shave regularly (more than once a week) there is a basis for the lenient minhag (based on the logic of the Magan Avraham). Nonetheless, the Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 42:52 writes simply like the Mishna Brurah not to shave during the three weeks even for Kavod Shabbat. (e)Sephardim: Rav Ovadyah Yosef (Sh"t Yachava Daat 3:39, Sh”t Yabea Omer 3:31:5; Chazon Ovadyah pg 162) writes that there is what to rely on to shave Friday of Shabbat Chazon if ones beard is uncomfortable, and certainly there’s what to rely on for Ashkenazim to shave for Kavod Shabbat during the rest of the three weeks. (e) Someone in doubt: Rabbi Robinowitz (quoted in Peninei Halacha by 156) says that a person should follow the minhag of his father so as not to appear more lenient or strict that his father.
  16. ↑ Magan Avraham 551:10 says that it is forbidden to dance during the three weeks. This is brought as Halacha in the Achronim including Bear Hetiev 551:11, Mishna Brurah 551:16, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg 560, Kitzur S”A 551:9).
  17. ↑ Sh”t Mishna Halachot 6:109 permits dancing at a Sheva Brachot during the three weeks. Sh”t Mishna Halachot quotes that Rav Moshe Feinstein also permitted, while Rabbi Tzvi Mieslish forbad. (see Sh”t Igrot Moshe E”H 1:97.) Sh”t Avnei Yishfa 1:112 and Chazon Ovadyah (Taniot pg 153) agree with Mishna Halachot to allow dancing. However, Rav Vosner in Sh”t Shevet HaLevi 3:157 writes explicitly that for a simcha of Sheva Brachot music and dancing are forbidden.
  18. ↑ S”A 551:17 writes that one should refrain from saying Shechiyanu during Ben HaMeysarim. The Magan Avraham 551:42 explains that the reason not to make Shechiyanu is because the three weeks is a time of tragedy for Klal Yisrael and it’s improper to have extra joy. However, the Gra D”H VeNohagin understands the practice as based on Aveilut and therefore argues that this is only an extra chumra and one is allowed to make Shechiyanu (just like a mourner can make a Shechiyanu as in Brachot 59b). The Taz agrees to be lenient based on the concern that perhaps if you don’t make the Bracha now you may not be able after the Ben HaMeysarim. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one shouldn’t be lenient except on Shabbat.
  19. ↑ Mishna Brurah 551:99
  20. ↑ Sefer Chasidim 840, Mateh Moshe 697, Yosef Ometz 861, Magan Avraham 551:21,42, Chaye Adam 133:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2, permit making Shechiyanu on Shabbat. However, the Magan Avraham 551:42 quotes the Kitvei HaArizal who is machmir even on Shabbat. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one can be lenient regarding making Shechiyanu on Shabbat since there’s some are lenient on shechiyanu during all of the three weeks and there’s some who specifically permit Shabbat.
  21. ↑ Eliyah Rabba 551:17 in name of Madenei Yom Tov that one should wear new clothes even on Shabbat during the three weeks because wearing new clothes has a special aspect of happiness (greater than eating a new fruit). So holds the Chaye Adam 133:14, Derech HaChaim 551:6 and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 not to wear new clothes all three weeks including Shabbat. However, Aruch HaShulchan 551:38 writes that one can make Shechiyanu before Rosh Chodesh Av and afterwards one shouldn’t make Shechiyanu even on Shabbat Chazon. Additionally, Mishna Brurah 551:45 writes that even those who are lenient to make Shechiyanu on Shabbat will agree to be strict on Shabbat Chazon not to wear new clothes (which has a special element of happiness that a new fruit doesn’t have). Sh”t Yechave Daat 1:37 and Torat HaMoadim 5:7 concurs to the opinion of Mishna Brurah.
  22. ↑ Sh”t Sh”t Chaim Shal 1:24, Kaf HaChaim 551:207, and Ikrei HaDaat O”C 27:9 write that one shouldn’t say Shechiyanu on the night of Sheva Aser BeTamuz. However, Nechamat Yisrael (pg 40) permits in case of great need based on Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 1:168 (so is explicit in Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 3:100) and Mishnat Yacov (pg 168) permits Shechiyanu at night even without any need.
  23. ↑ Sh”t Chaim Shal O”C 7 and Ketonet Yosef 11 (quoted in Kaf HaChaim 551:207) writes that even though one can’t make a Shechiyanu during the 3 weeks, one can eat a new fruit or wear new clothes without a Bracha. However, the Sefer Chasidim 840, Shaarei Knesset HaGedolah 551:52, Bach 551e, Maamer Mordechai 551:14, Yometz Ometz 56, Bear Heitev 551:20, and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 write that one is not allowed to have a new fruit during the three weeks without a Bracha, since having a new fruit requires a Bracha and it can’t be made during the three weeks.
  24. ↑ Halichot Shlomo pg 411 brings from the Talmidim of Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach that it’s permissible to buy new clothes since nowadays we don’t make a Bracha on buying clothes. see Nechamet Yisrael pg40
  25. ↑ Sh”t Kapei Aharon 52 writes that it’s clearly forbidden to listen to music during the three weeks. This is brought in Sh”t Igrot Moshe 1:166. Nitai Gavriel 15:1 writes that this law is missing from S”A and early poskim because there’s a general prohibition of Listening to Music and so there was no question about the three weeks. [There is a hint to the prohibition in the Pri Megadim and Maharam Shik who discuss playing music for an income during the three weeks.] However, because many are lenient like the Rama (unlike S”A and Bach) and are lenient regarding music all year, this question became relevant and it’s unanimously accepted by contemporary poskim that music is forbidden during the three weeks because it brings with it simcha just like dancing (explicitly forbidden by Magan Avraham 551:10). See next notes.
  26. ↑ Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554), Nitay Gavriel 15:1, Penieni Halacha (pg 144), Torat Hamoadim 5:2, Sh”t Yachave Daat 6:34, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 151), and Rabbi Mansour in Daily Halacha hold that recorded music is forbidden during the three weeks. See also Sh"t Igrot Moshe YD 2:137, Sh"t Yachave Daat 6:34, Shalmat Chaim 29:1, Mishnat Sachir 2:145, Sh”t Ohel Yisachar 39, and Divrei Shalom 3:118.
  27. ↑ Mekor Chaim 551:1 and Or letzion 3:25:2 write that during the 9 days one shouldn’t listen to even vocal music. This is brought as halacha in the Halachot UMinhagei Ben HaMesarim (by Rabbi Moshe Karp pg 25) and Nachmat Yisrael 3:3. Chazon Ovadyah (pg 151-4) and Torat Hamoadim 5:2 are lenient with vocal song that are praise to Hashem (especially for Shabbat including Shabbat Chazon).
  28. ↑ Mekadesh Yisroel (pg 20), Chut Shuni (Shabbat, vol 2, pg 325), Sh"t Shevet HaLevi 3:15, Halachically Speaking (Vol 5, Issue 13, note 46)
  29. ↑ Sh”t Shevet Halevi 6:69, 8:127, Nitai Gavriel 15:1, Sh”t Tzitz Eliezer 15:33, Piskei Shemuot (pg 54) quoting Rav Elyashiv and Rav Karlitz, and Nechmat Yisrael 3:4 forbid listening to a recorded vocal song. However, Sh”t Igrot Moshe YD 2:137 and Sh”t Yachave Daat 6:34 permit (regarding Jewish music). Halachically Speaking quotes Rav Yisrael Belsky and Rav Efraim Greenblatt who forbid listening to singing which is meant to simulate actual music such as A capella because it creates the same musical experience. Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz writes that most permit listening to recorded voices singing.
  30. ↑ In general, Rama (551:3) permits music for a dvar mitzvah like a wedding. However, the Yavetz in his siddur (Amudei Shesh; quoted by Yafeh Lelev 560:7) writes that a simcha of a Brit Milah there should be no music. Eliyah Rabba 551:26 writes that the minhag is like the Yavetz. Regarding the three weeks Chida in Sh”t Chaim Shal 1:21 writes that the (Sephardic) minhag is to be lenient to have music at a meal of a Brit Milah. Ikrei HaDaat (Y”D 36:23), Sh”t Maaseh Avraham (Y”D 48), Moed Kol Chai (10:20), Ot Chaim VeShalom (the Munchatch Rebbe; 265:29), Torat HaMoadim 5:4, and Sh”t Yachave Daat 1:45 write that the Sephardic minhag is to lenient by the meal of a Brit Milah. (It seems that Shirei Knesset HaGedolah 551:33 who’s strict regarding the party for a Milah at night, but would agree concerning the meal right after the Milah. Additionally, it seems Sh”t Igrot Moshe 1:166 would agree as he even discusses a tzedaka banquet regarding music the rest of the year.)
  31. ↑ Sh”t Yachave Daat 1:45 writes that music is permited for a seudat mitzvah including a siyum. Torat HaMoadim 5:4 and Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554) extend this to even during the three weeks.
  32. ↑ Sh”t Yachave Daat 1:45 permits music at a suedat mitzvah such as a Pidyon HaBen. Torat HaMoadim 5:4 and Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554) extend this to even during the three weeks.
  33. ↑ Sh"t Yachava Daat 6:34, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554), and Torat HaMoadim 5:4 permit music at a simchat Bar Mitzvah during the three weeks. However, Darkei Horah (Dinei Ben Hametsarim pg 17, by Rav Asher Weiss) and Natai Gavriel (Ben HaMetzarim chapter 16:3) forbid. Halichot Emet 7:12 writes that the sephardic minhag is to be lenient and ashkenazic minhag is to be strict. Halachically Speaking writes that some are lenient.
  34. ↑ Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 166 permits all types of festivities of mitzvah and says that perhaps even a tzadeka banquet perhaps can be included. However, the Sh”t Igrot Moshe concludes that during the three weeks we are more strict regarding music and therefore there is almost nothing to rely on to play music at a tzedaka banquet.
  35. ↑ Sh”t Mishna Halachot 6:107, Sh”t Yachave Daat 6:34, Torat HaMoadim 5:2, Sedei Chemed (Peat Sadeh, Ben HaMetsarim 1:10),
  36. ↑ Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554)
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