Perfecting one's Middot

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Many people have many different types of character traits [1]

  1. Also see the following page: Anger

The proper balance of Middot

  1. Not only does one have to do Teshuvah for sins that require an action, like theft but one also needs to avoid bad middot [2]
  2. The good and straight path, is to accustom oneself to follow the middle path when it comes to character traits. For example, a person shouldn't be too stingy or too generous in giving away of his money, rather one should give according to one's ability. [3]
  3. Similarly, a person shouldn't desire physical items other than what a person needs to live. Nor should a person work too much in his business rather one should work to have enough funds for his worldly needs. [4]
  4. However, arrogance is a very bad character trait and should be avoided altogether. One should accustom oneself to have a humble spirit. Additionally, anger is a vey bad character trait and one should stay far away from it. Thus, one should accustom oneself to refrain from anger even over something which is deserving of getting angry. [5]
  5. A person should attempt to engage in being quiet except for speaking words of divrei torah or something that's necessary for his worldly needs. Even for one's worldly needs one shouldn't speak excessively. [6]

Examples of Middot

  1. A person shouldn't laugh excessively [in empty matters], nor be sad; rather, one should be happy all one's days, with a good expression on one's face. [7].

Ways to Perfect Character Traits

How should one accustom onesself to humility? One should always speak gently, and have a bent comportment with a head looking down, with one's heart above. One should always view a person as more important than oneself. [8].

  1. For example, if one sees a rich person, when one sees his wealth, one must think that Hashem gave him wealth because he is fit for it [and able to dispense it well to charity]. [9].
  2. If the other person is smaller than oneself in wisdom or wealth, one should view him as more righteous, because if he sins, he is considered Shogeig or forced, and if you sin, it is considered Intentional / Meizid. [10]

Financial matters

  1. There is a pious practice not to accept any gifts but rather to trust that Hashem will provide his needs.[11]
  2. One shouldn't be stingy, but one shouldn't give away all one's money. [12].

Sources

  1. ↑ Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 29, based on the Rambam, lists several examples:
    1. There are people who anger easily, and people who almost never get angry.
    2. There are people who are exceedingly arrogant, and those exceedingly meek.
    3. There are people who pursue desires that they never satisfy, and those who don't even desire necessities.
    4. There are people who are exceedingly greedy, and will never have enough money; there are those who are satisfied with less than they need, and don't attempt to pursue a livelihood.
    5. There are some who gather money, and eat what they own with distress. And there are those who spend all of their money.
  2. ↑ Rambam Hilchot Teshuva 7:3, Shulchan Aruch Hamiddot 1: page 177. see there for a discussion of the torah source for this obligation
  3. ↑ Kitzur S"A 29:2, Shulchan Aruch Hamiddot volume 1: page 7
  4. ↑ Kitzur S"A 29:2
  5. ↑ Kitzur S"A 29:3
  6. ↑ Kitzur S"A 29:5
  7. ↑ KSA 29:2
  8. ↑ KSA 29:3. For example:
    1. If the other person is a greater Torah scholar, one must honor him.
    2. If the other person is wealthy, one must honor him.
  9. ↑ Ibid
  10. ↑ Ibid
  11. ↑ Kitzur S"A 29:21
  12. ↑ Ibid 29:2
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