Lashon Hara

From Halachipedia

Loshon Harah.

Loshon Harah is any form of speech or communication that may harm someone else emotionally, financially, physically or damage their general reputation.[1] This prohibition includes any communication that is verbalized, written, or simply implied even in a silent manner. That which is said or alluded to may even be entirely accurate. It is still prohibited.

The severity of Loshon Harah is so awesome that according to the Chafetz Chaim, violating the prohibition of Loshan Harah entails transgressing at least six negative Biblical commandments and at least two positive commandments.[2] When communicating something false about another person, an even more severe sin is committed, that of Motzei Shem Ra (lit. producing a bad name [for someone else]). As is the case for all Biblical commandments, one is required to withstand social and financial loss in order to avoid violating the prohibition of Loshon Harah. So even if one is put under extraordinary pressure – say, in social or even professional contexts – he is still may not speak Loshon Harah. Needless to say, such a heroic moral stance is rewarded exponentially, in line with the rabbinic dictum "Reward is in proportion to the effort."[3]

TYPES OF NEGATIVE INFORMATION

Information is considered negative and damaging even if what is said is true. The discussion may be of criminal or general misconduct or of lackadaisical Jewish observance – relating either to interpersonal or general spiritual matters. One should not share, for example, that someone else does not give charity or keep kosher.

Defining what is considered negative can be very subjective. It is often relative or subject to judgment of the specific events in question. For example, saying one gives $500 a year to charity may be very positive or very negative, depending on the person being discussed.[4]

LISTENING TO LOSHON HARAH

There is a Biblical prohibition of believing any form of Loshon Harah, even if the subject of discussion is present and does not deny what's being said about him.[5] Even if Loshon Harah is said for constructive purposes (and within the guidelines of what is allowed to be said), the listener may not wholeheartedly believe what is being said, but may only take precautions in dealing with the person about whom they have heard negative information. In addition, even if one has resolved not to believe Loshon Harah he might hear, it is still forbidden to continue listening to such conversation.[6]

PERMITTED FORMS OF SAYING LOSHON HARAH

Saying Loshon Harah is only permitted when said for strictly constructive purposes. Even then, however, one is required to ensure what he is saying meets a criterion of seven conditions:[7]

  1. The one saying the Loshon Harah has either personally witnessed or has corroborated that which he is saying with certainty.
  2. One is sure the offense committed is in fact wrong, and not just has the appearance of being a problem.
  3. Before discussing the negative activity, one has to have attempted to highlight the wrongdoing to the person being spoken about, and have encouraged him to reconsider and change his behavior.
  4. One may not exaggerate that which he is retelling in any way whatsoever.
  5. He who relays negative information may only do so with a constructive motive and not based on any hatred toward, or thrill from speaking about, the subject.
  6. There must be no other way in which to achieve whatever constructive purposes saying the Loshon Harah will accomplish.
  7. Even if all other criteria are fulfilled, one still may not say Loshon Harah if the damage caused to the person discussed will be greater than can be justified by the shortcoming in question.

On the listener's part, he or she may only act protectively as a result of negative information heard. However, one may not accept the information heard as fact and consequently express disdain or animosity toward the subject, but only take precautionary measures as needed.

SAYING LOSHON HARAH WITHOUT CONDITIONS

The prohibition of Loshon Harah includes speaking about any fellow person – including men, women, children, and relatives, and of any level of Jewish observance. However, if one is a heretic as defined by Jewish law,[8] it is considered commendable to speak negatively about him in order to assure others disassociate themselves from him.[9] Furthermore, if one sees that speaking negatively about someone will help to curtail the damage the subject is intending to bring about unfairly, doing so is permitted – perhaps required even.[10] To be sure, there are three conditions for doing so:

  1. One must be sure that the person in question is attempting to be harmful.
  2. Speaking such Loshon Harah cannot be done out of a motive of hatred.
  3. If there is any other possible way to prevent damage, one must resort to it and avoid speaking Loshon Harah.

PERMITTED FORMS OF ELICITING LOSHON HARAH

If one is looking to engage another party – for a business partnership or family relationship, for example – and is at a stage where it is appropriate to research someone else's background, reputation, or character, he is permitted to inquire and obtain relevant information that might otherwise be considered Loshan Harah.[11] One does not have license to obtain any negative information unless it is really relevant and necessary to the potential partnership. Still, even when the impetus for the fact-finding is justified, one is very much obligated to disclose his reason for asking for negative information. This is so the person answering does not relate information with the wrong intention.[12]

ADDITIONAL SAFEGUARDS

Certain forms of speech are not intrinsically prohibited but are nonetheless instituted rabbinically as safeguards to protect people from speaking Loshon Harah. For example, one is not allowed to say, "Who would believe that he would turn out so well?" or "Let's not discuss him, because I do not want to say what he did."

It is also prohibited to speak positively about someone in front of those who think negatively about him or might dislike him. It is also not allowed to speak excessively positively about any individual, as eventually the listener might be tempted to highlight some of the subject's negative characteristics as well.

When speaking in front of a large group of people, one is not permitted to speak positively about anyone else for fear of what negative features about the said person those in the audience might begin to discuss among themselves. Obviously if the context and reason for the speech lends to positive discussion – about the honoree of the occasion, for example – then this prohibition does not apply.

Also, one may not talk about others in a positive way if doing so will cause the subject suffering or other problems – such as highlighting someone's extraordinary generosity, as the donor may then be overwhelmed from all the unsolicited attention.[13]

References

  1. ↑ Rambam, Hilchot De’ot 7:5. Re reputation damage, cf. Chofetz Chaim, Hilchot Loshon Harah 1:1.
  2. ↑ Chofetz Chaim, Hilchot Loshon Harah, Peticha.
  3. ↑ Ethics of the Fathers, Chapter 5
  4. ↑ Ibid., 4:3
  5. ↑ Ibid., 7:1-2
  6. ↑ Ibid., 6:2
  7. ↑ Ibid., 10:2
  8. ↑ Cf. Maimonides, Sefer HaMadda, 3:6-9
  9. ↑ Ibid., 8:5
  10. ↑ Ibid., 8:8
  11. ↑ Ibid., 4:11
  12. ↑ Ibid., Ibid.
  13. ↑ Ibid., 9:1-3
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