Onen

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An "onen" is a person whose immediate relative has died and is yet to be buried.[1] The state of being an onen is called "aninus".

Upon Whom and When Does Aninus Apply

  1. A person is an "onen" from the time that he hears of the death of any one of his seven relatives, until the time of burial. These seven relatives are: one's (1) father, (2) mother, (3) son, (4) daughter, (5) sister, (6) brother, and (7) spouse.
  2. The common practice is that even someone whose relative that has passed away is in a different city, or another relative is taking care of the burial needs, is still considered an "onen".[2] However, not all agree with this view.[3]
  3. Nowadays most communities have specific people who deal with the meis and the burial, such as a "Chevra Kadisha," and so the immediate relatives of the deceased do not take care of the burial directly.[4] Although some have stated that this custom frees the relatives from their status as onenim,[5] others believe that a relative is only free from being an onen if he does not accompany the meis to the burial.<Noda Biyhudah Tinyana Y.D 211 cited in Pischei Teshuvah 341:1, cf. Hagahos Maimoni Hil. Eivel 3:6.</ref> While some communities follow the first view, most believe that a person is still an onen nowadays when a Chevra Kadisha takes care of the meis.[6]
  4. One who only accompanies the meis only until a certain point, but not all the way to the burial, is no longer an onen once they leave the meis.[7]

Exemption from Mitzvot

  1. An onen is exempt from all mitzvot.[8]
  2. An onen is exempt from all brachot including Brachot HaNehenin. [9]
  3. An onen is permitted to wear his tallit kattan as usual, but should not make a bracha on it.[10]
  4. A person who became a mourner after the time for Shacharit or Mincha began and didn’t yet pray, some say he’s obligated to make Tashlumin and some argue [11]

A Mourner Wearing Tefillin

  1. A mourner is exempt from Tefillin the first day of Aveilut[12] even if the first day of aveilut is the day of the burial and not the day of the death. [13] In such a case, where the first day of aveilut isn't the same day as the death, according to Sephardim, one may rely on the practice not to wear Tefillin, however, it is proper to wear Tefillin without a bracha after the burial in private.[14]
  2. A mourner must have a proper concentration when wearing Tefillin even if one is in mourning and therefore one should not wear Tefillin during the eulogies or while one is crying.[15]

Sources

  1. ↑ This term is used several times in Chazal, and is derived from the pasuk in Devarim 26:14. Brachos 18b refers to a person "dead is lying before him," and this appears to be the same category as one who would be described as an "onen," although the equivalence of these two phrases is not necessarily absolute.
  2. ↑ Rabbeinu Tam, as quoted in Tosfos Brachos 18b and Rosh Brachos 3:3, did not consider himself to be an onen when his married sister died, either because his sister's husband would take care of the burial, or, as explained by the Bach Yoreh Deah 341:4 (and Shach Y.D. 341:5) explains, because he was in a different city. Either way, the Rosh there and Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 341:1) writes that this opinion was not accepted.
  3. ↑ See Shach Y.D. 341:4
  4. ↑ This is the generally understood meaning of 'כתפים' in Yerushalmi Brachos 3:1, cf. Moed Katan 22a
  5. ↑ Shulchan Aruch 341:3 based on Tosfos Brachos 18b, Tur Y.D. 375 quoting Behag, Toras HaAdam (Chavel ed.) p. 70, Chochmas Adam Klal 153:3
  6. ↑ Aruch Hashulchan 341:20-23 writes that this must be the case, considering that the Shulchan Aruch paskens (341:1) that even a relative who is in a faraway city and will not be involved in the burial is still an onen. Rather, the Gemara is referring to those who have followed the meis until a certain point, and then return home while the meis is sent to be buried.
  7. ↑ Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 375:2, Hashulchan Y.D. 341:21-22. Although the Aruch Hashulchan in 324:23 indicates that this is only true if the meis will be traveling for at least a two-day's journey, see Minchas Shelomo 91:25. See there also regarding a relative who will not be with the meis at all the entire time
  8. ↑ Gemara Moed Katan 23b, Rambam (Hilchot Avel 4:6), Mishna Brurah 71:4
  9. ↑ The Rash MeShantz (Mishna Damai 1:4 s.v. UMazminin Alav) implies that an onen is obligated to say brachot for himself but may not exempt others, but this is not how Rashi (SOURCE) explains the mishna. The Mishna Brurah 71:4 writes that an onen is exempt from all brachot.
  10. ↑ Minchas Shelomo 1:91:25
  11. ↑ Mishna Brurah 71, Magen Giborim and Derech HaChaim hold that a person is chayav, while the Yad Efrayim (Aninut 29), Birkei Yosef 341:17, Chachmat Shlomo 71, and Sh”t Shevet HaLevi 6:11 hold that one is exempt from Tashlumin.
  12. ↑
    • The Gemara (Ketubot 6b, Sukkah 25b, Moed Katan 15a) states that a mourner is exempt from wearing Tefillin since Hashem commanded Yechezkel to abstain from wearing Tefillin when he was mourning his wife and by implication we learn that a regular mourner doesn't wear Tefillin. For how long does this apply? The Gemara (Moed Katan 21a) cites a dispute between Rabbi Eliezer and Rabbi Yehoshua whether it applies for 2 or 3 days. The Rif (Moed Katan 13a), Rambam (Avel 4:9), Rosh (Moed Katan 3:37), and Tur and Shulchan Aruch OC 38:5 hold like Rabbi Yehoshua who says that the mourner is exempt the first two days.
    • Regarding the second day according to Rabbi Yehoshua and the third day according to Rabbi Eliezer, Rashi explains that only a mourner is only exempt for a fraction of the day based on the concept of Miksat HaYom KeKulo (part of the day is like a complete day). Tosfot 21a, Rosh (Moed Katan 3:37), Raavad (cited by Ramban Torat HaAdam Inyan HaAveilut n. 67), and Ran (Sukkah 11a s.v. Aval) agree that a portion of the day needs to be observed in mourning without tefillin, before the mourner may wear tefillin. The Rosh holds that one only needs to wait until a bit after Netz HaChama and the Raavad says one needs to wait until the minyan with those comforting the mourner. However, Ramban (Torat HaAdam, Inyan HaAveilut n. 67) writes that according to the Rif (Moed Katan 13a) and Rambam (Avel 4:9) one can wear the Tefillin on the second day without waiting at all. Bach (YD 388) holds like the Ramban. However, Shulchan Aruch YD 388:1 explicitly rules like the Rosh that one must wait until after Netz.
    • Rosh (Moed Katan 3:3) discusses whether this exemption is Biblical or rabbinic and seems to favor the approach of the exempt being rabbinic.
  13. ↑ Taz 38:3, Mishna Brurah 38:16. See Pitchei Teshuva YD 388 who cites a dispute between the Maharitaz and the Dagul Mirvavah whether one is obligated or exempt. The Maharitaz believes that one is obligated since the first day of aveilut is only biblical if it is both the day of death and the day of burial and one is only exempt from Tefillin when mourning is biblical. The Dagul Mirvavah and others disagree. See Ramban (Torat HaAdam, Inyan HaAveilut n. 81) who seems to hold like the Maharitaz.
  14. ↑ Yabia Omer YD 2:27
  15. ↑ Torat HaAdam (Inyan HaAveilut n. 67), Shulchan Aruch YD 388:2. Magen Avraham 38:6 asks how a mourner could be obligated in Tefillin if someone who is emotionally tormented and can't concentrate is exempt from Tefillin. He answers based on a Gemara Ketubot 6b that we encourage the mourner to settle his thoughts and reach a state of mind when he is able to wear Tefillin.
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