Naming Children

Names should only be a happy topic that elevates us and serves as a connection to the souls of great members of the Jewish people, not a source of strife and cause of Machaloket. There are many laws and customs regarding the names we give our children. Some are meant to maintain peace between the families, while others have the well-being of the child in mind.

Naming After the Living

1. Generally speaking, Ashkenazim do not name children after living people for fear of shortening the other person's life or to avoid violating a living parent's honor by calling the child the same name as the parent in his presence.
2. Some say that if there is no reason to pick a particular name, even Ashkenazim are advised to choose the name of one of the Neviim or a recognized Tzaddik and genius of our times, even if he's still alive.
3. Sepharadim in general have the custom to name children after living relatives, starting with the father’s parents and then the mother’s, unless there are additional factors such as a loss of the mother’s parent, in which case the paternal grandfather’s Mechilah would be needed.
4. If one is naming after both parents (such as to appease everybody), the name of the paternal father should come first.
5. Even by Sepharadim this Minhag is not ubiquitous. In Morocco and Iraq, specifically, they would not name after the living, while in Algeria and Tunis, they would. Some say that if the living relative gives permission, it's nevertheless ok in any location.
6. In the case of a mixed marriage, where the mother of the baby’s family does allow it, but the father's does not, the baby may be named for its mother’s living family members.
7. If the child is the product of a broken marriage, some recommend not naming the baby for members of either family to avoid aggravation from the opposite side.
8. Ultimately, every family should follow its custom.

Further Reading

1. Shalmei Simcha chapter 67
2. Choosing a Name for a Child by Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz