Three Weeks: Difference between revisions

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==When does the mourning period begin?==
==When does the mourning period begin?==
# The Ashkenazic minhag is to begin mourning from the fast of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. <ref> Rama 551:2 and 4</ref> There is a dispute whether the practices of mourning begin the  night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz (before the actual fast begins). <ref> Doleh UMashkeh (pg 208) quoting Rav Elashiv and Natai Gavriel (Ben HaMetzarim, vol 1, 14:5) are strict, while Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:168, 3:100 (at the end), and 4:112(2) permits in cases of great need (such as performing a wedding on Motzei [[Shabbat]] the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz). Igrot Moshe 3:100 adds that since saying Shehecheyanu is a dispute there's no need to be strict not to say it the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Igrot Moshe 4:112(2) writes for great need one can be lenient to cut one's hair the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 writes that later Rav Moshe was asked about performing a wedding the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz and he advised doing the Chupah before Shekiyah. Shearim Metsiyunim BeHalacha 122:1 holds like that Igrot Moshe OC 1:168. Tzitz Eliezer prohibited this, and he argues that according to some achronim the night of the 17th of tammuz is even stricter than the remainder of the three weeks. Rabbi Herschel Schachter Nefesh Harav page 196 quotes Rabbi Soloveitchik as being stringent as well. See also Kaf HaChaim 551:207 who quotes different opinions about this. </ref>
# The Ashkenazic minhag is to begin mourning from the fast of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. <ref> Rama 551:2 and 4</ref> There is a dispute whether the practices of mourning begin the  night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz (before the actual fast begins). <ref> Doleh UMashkeh (pg 208) quoting Rav Elashiv and Natai Gavriel (Ben HaMetzarim, vol 1, 14:5), the Chidah in Sh"t Chaim Sha’al 1:24,  Tzitz Eliezer 10:26, Divrei Moshe 1:33, Rav Avraham M’butcatch OC 551:7 are strict, while Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:168, 3:100 (at the end), and 4:112(2) permits in cases of great need (such as performing a wedding on Motzei [[Shabbat]] the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz). Igrot Moshe 3:100 adds that since saying Shehecheyanu is a dispute there's no need to be strict not to say it the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Igrot Moshe 4:112(2) writes for great need one can be lenient to cut one's hair the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 writes that later Rav Moshe was asked about performing a wedding the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz and he advised doing the Chupah before Shekiyah. Shearim Metsiyunim BeHalacha 122:1 holds like that Igrot Moshe OC 1:168. Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 prohibited this, and he argues that according to some achronim the night of the 17th of tammuz is even stricter than the remainder of the three weeks. Rabbi Herschel Schachter Nefesh Harav page 196 quotes Rabbi Soloveitchik as being stringent as well. See also Kaf HaChaim 551:207 who quotes different opinions about this. </ref>
# If Shiva Asar BeTamuz falls out on [[Shabbat]] and is pushed off to Sunday, then everyone agrees that the practices of mourning begin the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz (Motzei [[Shabbat]]). <ref>Sh"t Igrot Moshe 3:100 (at the end) </ref>
# If Shiva Asar BeTamuz falls out on [[Shabbat]] and is pushed off to Sunday, then everyone agrees that the practices of mourning begin the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz (Motzei [[Shabbat]]). <ref>Sh"t Igrot Moshe 3:100 (at the end) </ref>


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==Weddings==
==Weddings==
# The Ashkenazic custom is not to get married during the three weeks. <ref> Rama 551:2 and Darchei Moshe 551:5, Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMetsarim (Rabbi Moshe Karp) 3:1 </ref> Among Sephardim, some have just the custom not to get married during the nine days (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av until Tisha BeAv) <ref> S"A 551:2, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 140), Sh"t Yabia Omer OC 6:43 </ref> and some have the custom not to get married the entire three weeks. <ref> Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim Halacha 4, [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=946 Rabbi Mansour of Daily Halacha] says that this is the Syrian minhag. Sdei Chemed 5:14 says it depends on the custom of each community.  </ref>
# The Ashkenazic custom is not to get married during the three weeks. <ref> Rama 551:2 and Darchei Moshe 551:5 based on the Sefer Haminhagim, Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMetsarim (Rabbi Moshe Karp) 3:1 </ref> Among Sephardim, some have just the custom not to get married during the nine days (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av until Tisha BeAv) <ref> S"A 551:2, based on gemara Yevamot 43b, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 140), Sh"t Yabia Omer OC 6:43 </ref> and some have the custom not to get married the entire three weeks. <ref> Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim Halacha 4 based on the Shyarei Knesset hegedola, Sdei Chemed 6 MarechestBein Hametzarim 1:10,  [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=946 Rabbi Mansour of Daily Halacha] says that this is the Syrian minhag.  </ref>
# It is permitted to become engaged during the Nine Days, and even on Tisha B’Av itself as long as there is no meal to celebrate or music and dancing.  <ref> S"A 551:2 with Magen Avraham 551:10, and Mishna Berura 551:16, Tur 551 in the name of Rav Nissim. </ref>  Until Rosh Chodesh, one is allowed to celebrate the engagement with a festive meal. <ref> Mishna Berura 551:19 </ref>  
# It is permitted to become engaged during the Nine Days, and even on Tisha B’Av itself as long as there is no meal to celebrate or music and dancing.  <ref> S"A 551:2 with Magen Avraham 551:10, and Mishna Berura 551:16, Tur 551 in the name of Rav Nissim. </ref>  Until Rosh Chodesh, one is allowed to celebrate the engagement with a festive meal. <ref> Mishna Berura 551:19 </ref>  
==Cutting Hair==
==Cutting Hair==
# According to Ashkenazim it’s forbidden to cut one’s hair for the entire three weeks, however, according to Sephardim one can cut hair until the week of Tisha BeAv. <Ref> The Gemara in Taanit 26b says that one shouldn’t cut one’s hair the week of Tisha BeAv. This Gemara is brought as Halacha by the Rambam (Taaniot 5:6). The Ramban (Torat HaAdam (Aveilut Yishana pg 246) explains that this prohibition applies to all hair on the body except the mustache if it interferes with eating. The Tur and S”A 551:3,12-13 rule like the Ramban that during the week of Tisha BeAv one is forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body except if there’s facial hair interfering with eating. Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158) writes that this is Sephardic custom. However, Rama 551:4 rules that Ashkenazim should be strict not to cut hair all three weeks like the Sefer Minhagim (pg 74).</ref>  
# According to Ashkenazim it’s forbidden to cut one’s hair for the entire three weeks, however, according to Sephardim one can cut hair until the week of Tisha BeAv. <Ref> The Gemara in Taanit 26b says that one shouldn’t cut one’s hair the week of Tisha BeAv. This Gemara is brought as Halacha by the Rambam (Taaniot 5:6). The Ramban (Torat HaAdam (Aveilut Yishana pg 346) explains that this prohibition applies to all hair on the body except the mustache if it interferes with eating. The Tur and S”A 551:3,12-13 rule like the Ramban that during the week of Tisha BeAv one is forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body except if there’s facial hair interfering with eating. Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158) writes that this is Sephardic custom. However, Rama 551:4 rules that Ashkenazim should be strict not to cut hair all three weeks like the Sefer Minhagim (pg 74).</ref>  
# For Sephardim it’s permitted to take a hair cut during the three weeks even a Sephardic Yeshiva Bachur in a Ashkenazi Yeshiva <Ref>Sh”t Yechave Daat 4:36, 3:39, Sh”t Yabea Omer 3:31:5, Yalkut Yosef (Kitzur S”A 551(2):11) </ref> however, it’s preferable to be strict not to cut the entire three weeks. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158-9) </ref>
# For Sephardim it’s permitted to take a hair cut during the three weeks even a Sephardic Yeshiva Bachur in a Ashkenazi Yeshiva <Ref>Sh”t Yechave Daat 4:36, 3:39, Sh”t Yabea Omer 3:31:5, Yalkut Yosef (Kitzur S”A 551(2):11) </ref> however, it’s preferable to be strict not to cut the entire three weeks. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158-9) </ref>
# A women who needs to cut her hair in order to get married, all the more so if she's already engaged, or if a woman has the custom to cut her hair before going to the mikveh, it's permissible to do so during the three weeks. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 163), Shalmei Moed (pg 477) </ref>
# A women who needs to cut her hair in order to get married, all the more so if she's already engaged, or if a woman has the custom to cut her hair before going to the mikveh, it's permissible to do so during the three weeks. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 163), Shalmei Moed (pg 477) </ref>
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# The father of a baby boy, the sandak, and the mohel can all cut their hair on the day of a baby's bris. <ref> Shaar Hatziyun 551:4 quoting the Chatam Sofer 158 </ref>
# The father of a baby boy, the sandak, and the mohel can all cut their hair on the day of a baby's bris. <ref> Shaar Hatziyun 551:4 quoting the Chatam Sofer 158 </ref>
# If not cutting one's hair will cause great monetary loss, one is permitted to cut it during the three weeks but not during the nine days. If one will not lose money, even if the hair makes him uncomfortable he may not cut his hair. <ref> Iggerot Moshe OC 4:120 </ref>  
# If not cutting one's hair will cause great monetary loss, one is permitted to cut it during the three weeks but not during the nine days. If one will not lose money, even if the hair makes him uncomfortable he may not cut his hair. <ref> Iggerot Moshe OC 4:120 </ref>  
# A child under the age of six is permitted to get a haircut. <ref> Iggerot Moshe YD 1:224 and Aruch Hashulchan 551:31 </ref>
# A child under the age of six is permitted to get a haircut. <ref> Iggerot Moshe YD 1:224 and Aruch Hashulchan 551:31. Mishna Berura 551:81 and Shaar Hatziyun 551:91 as well as the Chayei Adam 133:18 bring two reasons that children should be included based on the Terumat Hadeshen 142. One being chinuch, in which case it would only apply to older than six and the other being "agmat nefesh," meaning it makes people feel more pain to see children mourning, in which case it would apply to even children under 6.  </ref>
# It is permitted to comb and style the hair during the three weeks. <ref> Eliya Rabba 551:7, Sharei Tshuvah 551:12, Mishna Berura 551:20, Aruch Hashulchan 551:15 </ref>
 
==Shaving==
==Shaving==
# There is a general prohibition of shaving during the three weeks just like hair cuts, however are several leniencies such as a person who shaves everyday, shaving for work, shaving for Kavod [[Shabbat]]. A person should follow his father’s minhag or ask his local Rabbi for guidance. <ref>  
# There is a general prohibition of shaving during the three weeks just like hair cuts, however are several leniencies such as a person who shaves everyday, shaving for work, shaving for Kavod [[Shabbat]]. A person should follow his father’s minhag or ask his local Rabbi for guidance. <ref>  
Since S”A 551:12 rules that it’s forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body during the week of Tisha BeAv as a din from the Gemara it would seem clear that it’s forbidden to shave during the week of Tisha BeAv. Additionally, Ashkenazim who follow the Rama shouldn’t be able to shave during the entire three weeks as Rama 551:4 writes that the minhagim of the week of Tisha BeAv apply to the entire three weeks. However, there are several leniencies in the Achronim.             
Since S”A 551:12 rules that it’s forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body during the week of Tisha BeAv as a din from the Gemara it would seem clear that it’s forbidden to shave during the week of Tisha BeAv. Additionally, Ashkenazim who follow the Rama shouldn’t be able to shave during the entire three weeks as Rama 551:4 writes that the minhagim of the week of Tisha BeAv apply to the entire three weeks. However, there are several leniencies in the Achronim.             
* (1) Shaving Regularly: Magan Avraham 551:14 explains that the reason the Rama is strict by cutting hair all three week and is lenient by washing clothes (that it should only begin from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av) is because it wasn’t common to cut hair every week. This Magan Avraham is brought by the Achronim including the Chaye Adam 133:17, and Mishna Brurah 551:32. Additionally, Aruch HaShulchan 551:16 explains that it takes 3 weeks of not cutting hair to make it recognizable that one is in mourning. Based on this, Shearim Metzuyanim BeHalacha 122:5 says that those who usually shave every 2-3 days should be able to shave since for them it’s just like washing clothes. Rav Ovadyah in Chazon Ovadyah (Vol Arba Taniot pg 162) based on this M”A says that seemingly, Ashkenazim should be allowed to shave for Kavod [[Shabbat]] prior to the week of Tisha BeAv. However, Sh”t Shaar Zekenim pg 88a (quoted by Kaf HaChaim 551:65), Shivilei Dovid 551:4, and Rav Vozner in Sh”t Shevet HaLevi 10:81:3 reject this leniency based on the minhag to be strict for all circumstances.             
* (1) Shaving Regularly: Magan Avraham 551:14 explains that the reason the Rama is strict by cutting hair all three week and is lenient by washing clothes (that it should only begin from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av) is because it wasn’t common to cut hair every week. This Magan Avraham is brought by the Achronim including the Chaye Adam 133:17, and Mishna Brurah 551:32. Additionally, Aruch HaShulchan 551:16 explains that it takes 3 weeks of not cutting hair to make it recognizable that one is in mourning. Based on this, Shearim Metzuyanim BeHalacha 122:5 says that those who usually shave every 2-3 days should be able to shave since for them it’s just like washing clothes. Rav Ovadyah in Chazon Ovadyah (Vol Arba Taniot pg 162) based on this M”A says that seemingly, Ashkenazim should be allowed to shave for Kavod [[Shabbat]] prior to the week of Tisha BeAv. However, Sh”t Shaar Zekenim pg 88a (quoted by Kaf HaChaim 551:65), Shivilei Dovid 551:4, and Rav Vozner in Sh”t Shevet HaLevi 10:81:3 reject this leniency based on the minhag to be strict for all circumstances.             
* (2) Uncomfortable: (a) Rabbi Elazar Melamed in Peninei Halacha (zmanim pg 154-5) writes that if a person shaves everyday it’s very uncomfortable not to shave and it’s similar to S”A 551:13 that permits shaving a moustache that interferes with eating. (b)Rav Soloveitchik (quoted by Nefesh HaRav, Rav Schachter pg 191 and Shiurei Harav 11 compared the three weeks to the Avielut of a year, the week of Tisha BeAv (or according to Ashkenazim, from Rosh Chodesh) compares to the Avielut of Shloshim, and Tisha BeAv itself is like Avielut of Shiva. Accordingly, Rav Shechter writes that one who regularly shaves everyday would be allowed to shave everyday until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. (Rav Shechter supports this comparison from Sh”t Panim Meirot 3:37e, and goes so far as to question Sh”t Igrot Moshe Y”D 2:137 who compares the week of Tisha BeAv to Avielut of Shiva.)             
* (2) Uncomfortable: (a) Rabbi Elazar Melamed in Peninei Halacha (zmanim pg 154-5) writes that if a person shaves everyday it’s very uncomfortable not to shave and it’s similar to S”A 551:13 that permits shaving a moustache that interferes with eating. (b)Rav Soloveitchik (quoted by Nefesh HaRav, Rav Schachter pg 191 and Shiurei Harav Al Inyanei Aveilut V'Tisha B'Av, pages 20-21 compared the three weeks to the Avielut of a year, the week of Tisha BeAv (or according to Ashkenazim, from Rosh Chodesh) compares to the Avielut of Shloshim, and Tisha BeAv itself is like Avielut of Shiva. Accordingly, Rav Shechter writes that one who regularly shaves everyday would be allowed to shave everyday until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. (Rav Shechter supports this comparison from Sh”t Panim Meirot 3:37e, and goes so far as to question Sh”t Igrot Moshe Y”D 2:137 who compares the week of Tisha BeAv to Avielut of Shiva.)             
* (3) Shaving Specifically: Seemingly, from S”A 551:12 all bodily hair can’t be cut including shaving a beard. However, Sh”t Chatom Sofer Y”D 348 D”H VeIy Galach writes that the entire prohibition only applies to cutting one’s hair but the poskim never spoke about shaving facial hair. This chiluk is also made by the Sh”t Nodeh BeYehuda O”C 14. Shearim Metsuyim BeHalacha 122:5 brings these achronim as halacha for someone who needs to shave for work.  
* (3) Shaving Specifically: Seemingly, from S”A 551:12 all bodily hair can’t be cut including shaving a beard. However, Sh”t Chatom Sofer Y”D 348 D”H VeIy Galach writes that the entire prohibition only applies to cutting one’s hair but the poskim never spoke about shaving facial hair. This chiluk is also made by the Sh”t Nodeh BeYehuda O”C 14. Shearim Metsuyim BeHalacha 122:5 brings these achronim as halacha for someone who needs to shave for work.  
* (4) Monetary loss: (a)Sh”t Maharam Shik Y”D 371 writes that there is what to defend those who it’s difficult to do business with important people without shaving and during the year they regularly shave every 2-3 days to continue in the three weeks until the week of Tisha BeAv. (b) Sh”t Igrot Moshe C”M 1:93, O”C 4:102, 5:24:9 writes that by loosing a business deal or customers that will effect one’s income after Tisha BeAv, one can shave until the week of Tisha BeAv, but during the week of Tisha BeAv itself it’s only permissible to shave if one will not be able to make an income after Tisha BeAv or without working one needs to borrow money and it’s difficult to find someone to borrow from). (c) Maadenei Shlomo pg 51 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that if there’s a chance you’ll loose you’re job you can shave (even during the week of Tisha BeAv). Halichot Shlomo pg 414 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach who says that it’s permissible for a person who is endanger of losing a lot of money or his job may shave during the three weeks. (d)Shearim Metsuyim BeHalacha brings the Taz 551:1 (brought by Mishna Brurah 551:12) that says nowadays we don’t decrease our business activity during this time since we have to pay government taxes and all income is included in our Parnasa and therefore here too if there’s a chance of losing Parnasa that can be considered a concern of loss of money.       
* (4) Monetary loss: (a)Sh”t Maharam Shik Y”D 371 writes that there is what to defend those who it’s difficult to do business with important people without shaving and during the year they regularly shave every 2-3 days to continue in the three weeks until the week of Tisha BeAv. (b) Sh”t Igrot Moshe C”M 1:93, O”C 4:102, 5:24:9 writes that by loosing a business deal or customers that will effect one’s income after Tisha BeAv, one can shave until the week of Tisha BeAv, but during the week of Tisha BeAv itself it’s only permissible to shave if one will not be able to make an income after Tisha BeAv or without working one needs to borrow money and it’s difficult to find someone to borrow from). (c) Maadenei Shlomo pg 51 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that if there’s a chance you’ll loose you’re job you can shave (even during the week of Tisha BeAv). Halichot Shlomo pg 414 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach who says that it’s permissible for a person who is endanger of losing a lot of money or his job may shave during the three weeks. (d)Shearim Metsuyim BeHalacha brings the Taz 551:1 (brought by Mishna Brurah 551:12) that says nowadays we don’t decrease our business activity during this time since we have to pay government taxes and all income is included in our Parnasa and therefore here too if there’s a chance of losing Parnasa that can be considered a concern of loss of money.       
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==Swimming and Bathing==
==Swimming and Bathing==
# Many hold that it is permissible to swim during the three weeks except in dangerous waters until the nine days (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av). <ref>Sh"t Teshuvot VeHanhagot 2:263, Piskei Teshuvot 551:46 [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/735559/Rabbi_Aryeh_Lebowitz/Halachos_of_the_Three_Weeks Rabbi Ayreh Lebowitz], Moadei Yeshurun (pg 128) quoting Rav Moshe, Halichot Shlomo (Moadim, vol 2, chap 14, note 7), MeBayit Levi (vol 13, pg 22, note 5) quoting Rav Wosner, Sh"t Rivevot Ephraim 3:333, 4:135:14, 6:285:2, and Shevet HaKehati 1:169:4. [http://books.google.com/books?id=k2lV5wQwwj0C&lpg=PA34&ots=yg-xJtgt00&dq=swimming%20during%20the%20three%20weeks&pg=PA12#v=onepage&q=swimming%20during%20the%20three%20weeks&f=false Rabbi Eider] quotes Rav Moshe Iggerot Moshe Even Haezer 4:84 who says even during the nine days if one is sweating or dirty and wants to wash off it's permissible to dip in the pool for a short time. Shaarim mitzuyanim bihalacha kuntres acharon 122:12 is lenient with children swimming in private area during the nine days, but not in public, like camps.  </ref>
# Many hold that it is permissible to swim during the three weeks except in dangerous waters until the nine days (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av). <ref>Sh"t Teshuvot VeHanhagot 2:263, Piskei Teshuvot 551:46 [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/735559/Rabbi_Aryeh_Lebowitz/Halachos_of_the_Three_Weeks Rabbi Ayreh Lebowitz], Moadei Yeshurun (pg 128) quoting Rav Moshe, Halichot Shlomo (Moadim, vol 2, chap 14, note 7), MeBayit Levi (vol 13, pg 22, note 5) quoting Rav Wosner, Sh"t Rivevot Ephraim 3:333, 4:135:14, 6:285:2, and Shevet HaKehati 1:169:4. [http://books.google.com/books?id=k2lV5wQwwj0C&lpg=PA34&ots=yg-xJtgt00&dq=swimming%20during%20the%20three%20weeks&pg=PA12#v=onepage&q=swimming%20during%20the%20three%20weeks&f=false Rabbi Eider] quotes Rav Moshe Iggerot Moshe Even Haezer 4:84 who says even during the nine days if one is sweating or dirty and wants to wash off it's permissible to dip in the pool for a short time. Shaarim mitzuyanim bihalacha kuntres acharon 122:12 is lenient with children swimming in private area during the nine days, but not in public, like camps.  </ref>
==Bathing and Showering==
# Some stop bathing and showering for the week of Tisha B'av  and some start already from the nine days. <ref> Rambam Hilchot Taaniot 5:6 says from the week of and the Mordechai Taanit 639 says from Rosh Chodesh Av. Both opinions are quoted in S"A 551:16. Kaf Hachayim 551:186 says to follow whatever the custom of the place where you are living. </ref>
# Some poskim permit washing or showering to remove dirt or sweat. <ref> Aruch Hashulchan 551:37 </ref>


==Saying Shehecheyanu==
==Saying Shehecheyanu==
# One should refrain from making a Shehecheyanu during the Ben HaMeysarim. <Ref> S”A 551:17 writes that one should refrain from saying Shehecheyanu during Ben HaMeysarim. The Magan Avraham 551:42 explains that the reason not to make Shehecheyanu is because the three weeks is a time of tragedy for Klal Yisrael and it’s improper to have extra joy. However, the Gra D”H VeNohagin understands the practice as based on Aveilut and therefore argues that this is only an extra chumra and one is allowed to make Shehecheyanu (just like a mourner can make a Shehecheyanu as in Brachot 59b). The Taz 551:17 agrees to be lenient based on the concern that perhaps if you don’t make the Bracha now you may not be able after the Ben HaMeysarim. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one shouldn’t be lenient except on [[Shabbat]].  </ref>
# One should refrain from making a Shehecheyanu during the Ben HaMeysarim. <Ref> S”A 551:17 based on Maharil 31 writes that one should refrain from saying Shehecheyanu during Ben HaMeysarim. The Magan Avraham 551:42 explains that the reason not to make Shehecheyanu is because the three weeks is a time of tragedy for Klal Yisrael and it’s improper to have extra joy. However, the Gra D”H VeNohagin understands the practice as based on Aveilut and therefore argues that this is only an extra chumra and one is allowed to make Shehecheyanu (just like a mourner can make a Shehecheyanu as in Brachot 59b). The Taz 551:17 agrees to be lenient based on the concern that perhaps if you don’t make the Bracha now you may not be able after the Ben HaMeysarim. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one shouldn’t be lenient except on [[Shabbat]].  </ref>
# However, a pregnant woman or a sick person is permitted to eat the new fruit. <Ref> Mishna Brurah 551:99 </ref>
# However, a pregnant woman or a sick person is permitted to eat the new fruit. <Ref> Mishna Brurah 551:99 </ref>
# On [[Shabbat]] one may make Shehecheyanu. <Ref> Sefer Chasidim 840, Mateh Moshe 697, Yosef Ometz 861, Magan Avraham 551:21,42, Chaye Adam 133:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 permit making Shehecheyanu on [[Shabbat]]. However, the Magan Avraham 551:42 quotes the Kitvei HaArizal who is machmir even on [[Shabbat]]. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one can be lenient regarding making Shehecheyanu on [[Shabbat]] since there’s some are lenient on shechiyanu during all of the three weeks and there’s some who specifically permit [[Shabbat]].  </ref>  
# On [[Shabbat]] one may make Shehecheyanu. <Ref> Sefer Chasidim 840, Mateh Moshe 697, Yosef Ometz 861, Magan Avraham 551:21,42, Chaye Adam 133:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2, Sh"t Yechave Daat 1:37 permit making Shehecheyanu on [[Shabbat]]. However, the Magan Avraham 551:42 quotes the Kitvei HaArizal who is machmir even on [[Shabbat]]. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one can be lenient regarding making Shehecheyanu on [[Shabbat]] since there’s some are lenient on shechiyanu during all of the three weeks and there’s some who specifically permit [[Shabbat]].  </ref>  
# On [[Shabbat]] Chazon one shouldn’t wear new clothes. <Ref> Eliyah Rabba 551:17 in name of Madenei [[Yom Tov]] that one should wear new clothes even on [[Shabbat]] during the three weeks because wearing new clothes has a special aspect of happiness (greater than eating a new fruit). So holds the Chaye Adam 133:14, Derech HaChaim 551:6 and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 not to wear new clothes all three weeks including [[Shabbat]]. However, Aruch HaShulchan 551:38 writes that one can make Shehecheyanu before [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av and afterwards one shouldn’t make Shehecheyanu even on [[Shabbat]] Chazon. Additionally, Mishna Brurah 551:45 writes that even those who are lenient to make Shehecheyanu on [[Shabbat]] will agree to be strict on [[Shabbat]] Chazon not to wear new clothes (which has a special element of happiness that a new fruit doesn’t have). Sh”t Yechave Daat 1:37 and Torat HaMoadim 5:7 concurs to the opinion of Mishna Brurah. </ref>
# On [[Shabbat]] Chazon one shouldn’t wear new clothes. <Ref> Eliyah Rabba 551:17 in name of Madenei [[Yom Tov]] that one should wear new clothes even on [[Shabbat]] during the three weeks because wearing new clothes has a special aspect of happiness (greater than eating a new fruit). So holds the Chaye Adam 133:14, Derech HaChaim 551:6 and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 not to wear new clothes all three weeks including [[Shabbat]]. However, Aruch HaShulchan 551:38 writes that one can make Shehecheyanu before [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av and afterwards one shouldn’t make Shehecheyanu even on [[Shabbat]] Chazon. Additionally, Mishna Brurah 551:45 writes that even those who are lenient to make Shehecheyanu on [[Shabbat]] will agree to be strict on [[Shabbat]] Chazon not to wear new clothes (which has a special element of happiness that a new fruit doesn’t have). Sh”t Yechave Daat 1:37 and Torat HaMoadim 5:7 concurs to the opinion of Mishna Brurah. </ref>
# One shouldn’t make a Shehecheyanu on the night of Sheva Asar BeTamuz, however, is there’s great need, there’s what to rely on. <Ref> Sh”t Sh”t Chaim Shal 1:24, Kaf HaChaim 551:207, Sdei Chemed 5:page 277, Biur Halacha 551:2 and Ikrei HaDaat O”C 27:9 write that one shouldn’t say Shehecheyanu on the night of Sheva Aser BeTamuz. However, Nechamat Yisrael (pg 40) permits in case of great need based on Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 1:168 (so is explicit in Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 3:100) and Mishnat Yacov (pg 168) permits Shehecheyanu at night even without any need. </ref>
# One shouldn’t make a Shehecheyanu on the night of Sheva Asar BeTamuz, however, is there’s great need, there’s what to rely on. <Ref> Sh”t Sh”t Chaim Shal 1:24, Kaf HaChaim 551:207, Sdei Chemed 5:page 277, Biur Halacha 551:2 and Ikrei HaDaat O”C 27:9 write that one shouldn’t say Shehecheyanu on the night of Sheva Aser BeTamuz. However, Nechamat Yisrael (pg 40) permits in case of great need based on Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 1:168 (so is explicit in Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 3:100) and Mishnat Yacov (pg 168) permits Shehecheyanu at night even without any need. </ref>
# A person should recite a shehechiyanu upon the birth of a baby girl <ref> Nitai Gavriel 17:19 </ref>  
# A person should recite a shehechiyanu upon the birth of a baby girl <ref> Nitai Gavriel 17:19 based on Maharil 31 who says the restriction of saying shehecheyanu is only on a beracha that can wait until after. </ref>  
==Eating a new fruit or wearing new clothing==
==Eating a new fruit or wearing new clothing==
# Because one shouldn’t make a Shehecheyanu, one shouldn’t eat a new fruit or wear a new clothing because these actions require a Shehecheyanu. <Ref> Sh”t Chaim Shal O”C 7 and Ketonet Yosef 11 (quoted in Kaf HaChaim 551:207) writes that even though one can’t make a Shehecheyanu during the 3 weeks, one can eat a new fruit or wear new clothes without a Bracha. However, the Sefer Chasidim 840, Shaarei Knesset HaGedolah 551:52, Bach 551e, Maamer Mordechai 551:14, Yometz Ometz 56, Bear Heitev 551:20, and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 write that one is not allowed to have a new fruit during the three weeks without a Bracha, since having a new fruit requires a Bracha and it can’t be made during the three weeks. </Ref>
# Because one shouldn’t make a Shehecheyanu, one shouldn’t eat a new fruit or wear a new clothing because these actions require a Shehecheyanu. <Ref> Sh”t Chaim Shal O”C 7 and Ketonet Yosef 11 (quoted in Kaf HaChaim 551:207) writes that even though one can’t make a Shehecheyanu during the 3 weeks, one can eat a new fruit or wear new clothes without a Bracha. However, the Sefer Chasidim 840, Shaarei Knesset HaGedolah 551:52, Bach 551e, Maamer Mordechai 551:14, Yometz Ometz 56, Bear Heitev 551:20, and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 write that one is not allowed to have a new fruit during the three weeks without a Bracha, since having a new fruit requires a Bracha and it can’t be made during the three weeks. </Ref>
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===Live Music===
===Live Music===
# It’s forbidden to listen to music from musical instruments during the three weeks. <Ref> Sh”t Kapei Aharon 52 writes that it’s clearly forbidden to listen to music during the three weeks. This is brought in Sh”t Igrot Moshe 1:166. Nitai Gavriel 15:1 writes that this law is missing from S”A and early poskim because there’s a general prohibition of [[Listening to Music]] and so there was no question about the three weeks. [There is a hint to the prohibition in the Pri Megadim and Maharam Shik who discuss playing music for an income during the three weeks.] However, because many are lenient like the Rama (unlike S”A and Bach) and are lenient regarding music all year, this question became relevant and it’s unanimously accepted by contemporary poskim that music is forbidden during the three weeks because it brings with it simcha just like dancing (explicitly forbidden by Magan Avraham 551:10). See next notes. </ref>
# It’s forbidden to listen to music from musical instruments during the three weeks. <Ref> Sh”t Kapei Aharon 52 writes that it’s clearly forbidden to listen to music during the three weeks. This is brought in Sh”t Igrot Moshe 1:166. Nitai Gavriel 15:1 writes that this law is missing from S”A and early poskim because there’s a general prohibition of [[Listening to Music]] and so there was no question about the three weeks. [There is a hint to the prohibition in the Pri Megadim and Maharam Shik who discuss playing music for an income during the three weeks.] However, because many are lenient like the Rama (unlike S”A and Bach) and are lenient regarding music all year, this question became relevant and it’s unanimously accepted by contemporary poskim that music is forbidden during the three weeks because it brings with it simcha just like dancing (explicitly forbidden by Magan Avraham 551:10). See next notes. </ref>
# Some poskim permit taking music lessons if they are not for pleasure and one will lose skills because of the time off. <ref> Sh"t Tzitz Eliezer 16:19. Kaf Hachayim 551:41 writes that preferably it should not be done, and even if one is lenient it should only be sad songs. </ref>
# Some poskim permit taking music lessons if they are not for pleasure and one will lose skills because of the time off. <ref> Sh"t Tzitz Eliezer 16:19. Kaf Hachayim 551:41 writes that preferably it should not be done, and even if one is lenient it should only be sad songs. The Pri Megadim Esehl Avraham 551:10 writes that parallel to the concept of davar ha'aved on chol hamoed, the rabbis permitted somebody who needs to dance or play music for livelihood may do so. </ref>
===Non-live music===
===Non-live music===
# Many authorities forbid listening to recorded music (music with instruments) during the three weeks. <Ref> Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554), Nitay Gavriel 15:1, Penieni Halacha (pg 144), Torat Hamoadim 5:2, Sh”t Yachave Daat 6:34, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 151), and [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=1677 Rabbi Mansour in Daily Halacha] hold that recorded music is forbidden during the three weeks. See also Sh"t Igrot Moshe YD 2:137, Sh"t Yachave Daat 6:34, Shalmat Chaim 29:1, Mishnat Sachir 2:145, Sh”t Ohel Yisachar 39, and Divrei Shalom 3:118. </ref>
# Many authorities forbid listening to recorded music (music with instruments) during the three weeks. <Ref> Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554), Nitay Gavriel 15:1, Penieni Halacha (pg 144), Sh"t Iggerot Moshe OC 1:166 and 3:87 Torat Hamoadim 5:2, Sh”t Yachave Daat 6:34 and 3:30, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 151), and [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=1677 Rabbi Mansour in Daily Halacha] hold that recorded music is forbidden during the three weeks. See also Sh"t Igrot Moshe YD 2:137, Minchat Yitzchak 1:111, Shalmat Chaim 29:1, Mishnat Sachir 2:145, Sh”t Ohel Yisachar 39, and Divrei Shalom 3:118. </ref>
===Live A cappella (singing without instruments)===
===Live A cappella (singing without instruments)===
# Some say that one may listen to vocal music (voices singing) during the three weeks but not the 9 days. <Ref> Mekor Chaim 551:1 and Or letzion 3:25:2 write that during the 9 days one shouldn’t listen to even vocal music. This is brought as halacha in the Halachot UMinhagei Ben HaMesarim (by Rabbi Moshe Karp pg 25) and Nachmat Yisrael 3:3. Chazon Ovadyah (pg 151-4) and Torat Hamoadim 5:2 are lenient with vocal song that are praise to Hashem (especially for [[Shabbat]] including [[Shabbat]] Chazon). </ref>
# Some say that one may listen to vocal music (voices singing) during the three weeks but not the 9 days. <Ref> Mekor Chaim 551:1 and Or letzion 3:25:2 write that during the 9 days one shouldn’t listen to even vocal music. This is brought as halacha in the Halachot UMinhagei Ben HaMesarim (by Rabbi Moshe Karp pg 25) and Nachmat Yisrael 3:3. Chazon Ovadyah (pg 151-4) and Torat Hamoadim 5:2 are lenient with vocal song that are praise to Hashem (especially for [[Shabbat]] including [[Shabbat]] Chazon). </ref>
# Many say that it is permissible to sing with one's mouth during the three weeks. <ref> Mekadesh Yisroel (pg 20), Chut Shuni ([[Shabbat]], vol 2, pg 325), Sh"t Shevet HaLevi 3:15, [http://www.thehalacha.com/attach/Volume5/Issue13.pdf Halachically Speaking] (Vol 5, Issue 13, note 46)</ref>
# Many say that it is permissible to sing with one's mouth during the three weeks. <ref> Mekadesh Yisroel (pg 20), Chut Shuni ([[Shabbat]], vol 2, pg 325), Sh"t Shevet HaLevi 3:15, [http://www.thehalacha.com/attach/Volume5/Issue13.pdf Halachically Speaking] (Vol 5, Issue 13, note 46)</ref>
===Non-live A cappella===
===Non-live A cappella===
# Some say that listening to recorded vocal music is forbidden, while others permit. <Ref> Sh”t Shevet Halevi 6:69, 8:127, Nitai Gavriel 15:1, Sh”t Tzitz Eliezer 15:33, Piskei Shemuot (pg 54) quoting Rav Elyashiv and Rav Karlitz, and Nechmat Yisrael 3:4 forbid listening to a recorded vocal song. However, Sh”t Igrot Moshe YD 2:137 and Sh”t Yachave Daat 6:34 permit (regarding Jewish music). [http://www.thehalacha.com/attach/Volume5/Issue13.pdf Halachically Speaking] quotes Rav Yisrael Belsky and Rav Efraim Greenblatt who forbid listening to singing which is meant to simulate actual music such as A capella because it creates the same musical experience. [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/735559/Rabbi_Aryeh_Lebowitz/Halachos_of_the_Three_Weeks Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz] writes that most permit listening to recorded voices singing. </ref>
# Some say that listening to recorded vocal music is forbidden, while others permit. <Ref> Sh”t Shevet Halevi 6:69, 8:127:2, Nitai Gavriel 15:1, Sh”t Tzitz Eliezer 15:33, Piskei Shemuot (pg 54) quoting Rav Elyashiv and Rav Karlitz, and Nechmat Yisrael 3:4 forbid listening to a recorded vocal song. However, Sh”t Igrot Moshe YD 2:137 and Sh”t Yachave Daat 6:34 permit (regarding Jewish music). [http://www.thehalacha.com/attach/Volume5/Issue13.pdf Halachically Speaking] quotes Rav Yisrael Belsky and Rav Efraim Greenblatt who forbid listening to singing which is meant to simulate actual music such as A capella because it creates the same musical experience. [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/735559/Rabbi_Aryeh_Lebowitz/Halachos_of_the_Three_Weeks Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz] writes that most permit listening to recorded voices singing. </ref>
===Brit Milah===
===Brit Milah===
# Some permit music at a meal for a Brit Milah during the three weeks. <ref> In general, Rama (551:3) permits music for a dvar mitzvah like a wedding. However, the Yavetz in his siddur (Amudei Shesh; quoted by Yafeh Lelev 560:7) writes that a simcha of a Brit Milah there should be no music. Eliyah Rabba 551:26 writes that the minhag is like the Yavetz. Regarding the three weeks Chida in Sh”t Chaim Shal 1:21 writes that the (Sephardic) minhag is to be lenient to have music at a meal of a Brit Milah. Ikrei HaDaat (Y”D 36:23), Sh”t Maaseh Avraham (Y”D 48), Moed Kol Chai (10:20), Ot Chaim VeShalom (the Munchatch Rebbe; 265:29), Torat HaMoadim 5:4, and Sh”t Yachave Daat 1:45 write that the Sephardic minhag is to lenient by the meal of a Brit Milah. (It seems that Shirei Knesset HaGedolah 551:33 who’s strict regarding the party for a Milah at night, but would agree concerning the meal right after the Milah. Additionally, it seems Sh”t Igrot Moshe 1:166 would agree as he even discusses a tzedaka banquet regarding music the rest of the year.) </ref>
# Some permit music at a meal for a Brit Milah during the three weeks. <ref> In general, Rama (551:3) permits music for a dvar mitzvah like a wedding. However, the Yavetz in his siddur (Amudei Shesh; quoted by Yafeh Lelev 560:7) writes that a simcha of a Brit Milah there should be no music. Eliyah Rabba 551:26 writes that the minhag is like the Yavetz. Regarding the three weeks Chida in Sh”t Chaim Shal 1:21 writes that the (Sephardic) minhag is to be lenient to have music at a meal of a Brit Milah. Ikrei HaDaat (Y”D 36:23), Sh”t Maaseh Avraham (Y”D 48), Moed Kol Chai (10:20), Ot Chaim VeShalom (the Munchatch Rebbe; 265:29), Torat HaMoadim 5:4, and Sh”t Yachave Daat 1:45 write that the Sephardic minhag is to lenient by the meal of a Brit Milah. (It seems that Shirei Knesset HaGedolah 551:33 who’s strict regarding the party for a Milah at night, but would agree concerning the meal right after the Milah. Additionally, it seems Sh”t Igrot Moshe 1:166 would agree as he even discusses a tzedaka banquet regarding music the rest of the year.) </ref>
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==Meat and wine==
==Meat and wine==
# The Ashkenazic and Sephardic custom is to refrain from meat, poultry, and wine during the nine days. Ashkenazim include [[Rosh Chodesh]] in this prohibition, while Sephardim are lenient regarding the day of [[Rosh Chodesh]] itself and some Sephardim are strict. <Ref> The Mishna in Taanit 26b the Gemara 30a discuss the prohibition of eating meat during the seudat hamakseket prior to tisha b'av. Rambam Hilchot Taaniot 5:6 says that the custom is to extend the prohibition beyond that meal. He says that some don't eat meat during the week of tisha b'av, and some don't eat from rosh chodesh av and onward. S"A 551:9 writes that there are three customs about not eating meat and drinking wine; some refrain only for the week on Tisha BeAv, some refrain for the nine days (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av), some refrain for the whole three weeks. Mishna Brurah 551:58 writes that the Ashkenazic custom is not to eat meat or drink wine for the nine days including [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. This is also written in the [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/devarim.html Weekly Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt]. Sh"t Yachava Daat 1:41 writes that the Sephardic custom is to refrain from eating meat and wine during the nine days, however, on [[Rosh Chodesh]] the minhag is to be lenient however, some are strict. See also Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 169) and Halachot and History of The Three Weeks (by Rabbi Shlomo Churba, pg 37) who also write that the Sephardic custom is not to eat meat, poultry or wine in the nine days. </ref>
# The Ashkenazic and Sephardic custom is to refrain from meat, poultry, and wine during the nine days. Ashkenazim include [[Rosh Chodesh]] in this prohibition, while Sephardim are lenient regarding the day of [[Rosh Chodesh]] itself and some Sephardim are strict. <Ref> The gemara Baba Batra 60b quotes the opinion of Rabbi Yishmael Ben Elisha that after the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash, it would have been appropriate for the rabbis ban eating meat and drinking wine in order to properly mourn. However, since most of the congregation would not be able to abide by this, the rabbis never made it. Biur HaGra, OC 551:9, writes that this is the source for refraining from eating meat and drinking wine prior to Tisha B'Av that although it is impossible to ban eating meat and drinking wine throughout the year, it is possible to refrain from meat and wine for a short period of time.The Mishna in Taanit 26b the Gemara 30a discuss the prohibition of eating meat during the seudat hamakseket prior to tisha b'av. Rambam Hilchot Taaniot 5:6 says that the custom is to extend the prohibition beyond that meal. He says that some don't eat meat during the week of tisha b'av, and some don't eat from rosh chodesh av and onward. S"A 551:9 writes that there are three customs about not eating meat and drinking wine; some refrain only for the week on Tisha BeAv, some refrain for the nine days (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av), some refrain for the whole three weeks. Mishna Brurah 551:58 writes that the Ashkenazic custom is not to eat meat or drink wine for the nine days including [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av but excluding Shabbat (Mishna Berura 551:59). This is also written in the [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/devarim.html Weekly Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt]. Sh"t Yachava Daat 1:41 writes that the Sephardic custom is to refrain from eating meat and wine during the nine days, however, on [[Rosh Chodesh]] the minhag is to be lenient, however, some are strict. See also Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 169) and Halachot and History of The Three Weeks (by Rabbi Shlomo Churba, pg 37) who also write that the Sephardic custom is not to eat meat, poultry or wine in the nine days. </ref>
# Some say that there is what to rely on to have meat leftovers from Shabbat during the nine days, while others forbid. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 177) writes that there is what to rely on, while the [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/devarim.html Weekly Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt] quotes Sh"t Igrot Moshe 4:21(4) who forbids (see there). </ref>
# Some say that there is what to rely on to have meat leftovers from Shabbat during the nine days, while others forbid. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 177) writes that there is what to rely on, while the [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/devarim.html Weekly Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt] quotes Sh"t Igrot Moshe 4:21(4) who forbids (see there). </ref>
# One may eat meat at a meal for a mitzvah such as the meal of a Brit Milah and this includes the relatives and friend invited to the meal however, it doesn’t include those who just walk in to eat. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 196-7) </ref>
# One may eat meat at a meal for a mitzvah such as the meal of a Brit Milah and this includes the relatives and friend invited to the meal however, it doesn’t include those who just walk in to eat. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 196-7) </ref>
# One may eat meat at a meal held for a siyum and this includes the friends and family invited to the meal. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 196-8) </ref>
# One may eat meat at a meal held for a siyum and this includes the friends and family invited to the meal. <Ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 196-8). Although the Rama 551:10 writes that one should minimize the amount of guests invited to this meal, Rav Moshe Feinstein and Rav Shlomo Z. Auerbach (cited in Nitei Gavriel Hilchot Bein HaMetzarim 41:4), rule that if the one who completes the masechet eats in a communal dining room (such as a camp or hotel), all those who eat with him may participate. </ref>
# One may eat meat a meal held for a Bar Mitzvah only if it’s held the day that the son becomes 13. <ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 200), Halichot Shlomo (Moadim vol 2 pg 415), Yad Yitzchak 3:230 </ref>
# One may eat meat a meal held for a Bar Mitzvah only if it’s held the day that the son becomes 13. <ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 200), Halichot Shlomo (Moadim vol 2 pg 415), Yad Yitzchak 3:230 </ref>
#It is preferable not to even feed children meat during the nine days, but if you do you may have on who to rely. <ref> MB 551:70 and Shaar Hatziyun 551:76 say that although there is no requirement for the child to mourn for the beit hamikdash, the prohibition of feeding children prohibited items discussed in SA OC 343 extends to things that are only prohibited by custom. Iggerot Moshe 4:21:4 says even to feed the children meat on Friday afternoon before shabbat would not be allowed unless they usually eat their Friday night meal at that hour. Based on the Magen Avraham 551:31, Rabbi David Yosef in torat hamoadim Siman 5 page 190 says there is ample room to be lenient in this case. Aruch Hashulchan 551:26 as well says there is room to be lenient, especially in a case where it is a weak child who can gain a lot from eating the meat. </ref>
#It is preferable not to even feed children meat during the nine days, but if you do you may have on who to rely. <ref> MB 551:70 and Shaar Hatziyun 551:76 say that although there is no requirement for the child to mourn for the beit hamikdash, the prohibition of feeding children prohibited items discussed in SA OC 343 extends to things that are only prohibited by custom. Iggerot Moshe 4:21:4 says even to feed the children meat on Friday afternoon before shabbat would not be allowed unless they usually eat their Friday night meal at that hour. Based on the Magen Avraham 551:31, Rabbi David Yosef in torat hamoadim Siman 5 page 190 says there is ample room to be lenient in this case. Aruch Hashulchan 551:26 as well says there is room to be lenient, especially in a case where it is a weak child who can gain a lot from eating the meat. </ref>
# Although the custom is not to eat meat or drink wine during the nine days, stores that sell meat or wine may continue to sell meat or wine because someone who is permitted to eat it, such as a sick person or for a seudat mitzvah may need it. <ref> Iggerot Moshe 4:112 </ref> For whether a meat restaurant may remain open, see [http://www.koltorah.org/ravj/Restaurants%20Serving%20Meat%20During%20the%20Nine%20Days.htm Rabbi Chaim Jachter: Restaurants Serving Meat During the Nine Days]  
# Although the custom is not to eat meat or drink wine during the nine days, stores that sell meat or wine may continue to sell meat or wine because someone who is permitted to eat it, such as a sick person or for a seudat mitzvah may need it. <ref> Iggerot Moshe 4:112 </ref> For whether a meat restaurant may remain open, see [http://www.koltorah.org/ravj/Restaurants%20Serving%20Meat%20During%20the%20Nine%20Days.htm Rabbi Chaim Jachter: Restaurants Serving Meat During the Nine Days]  
# One is permitted to buy meat and wine during the Nine days for use after the Nine days if there is a sale, or he won't have time afterwards. <ref> Iggerot Moshe 4:112 </ref>
# One is permitted to buy meat and wine during the Nine days for use after the Nine days if there is a sale, or he won't have time afterwards. <ref> Iggerot Moshe 4:112 </ref>
==Laundry==
# The sephardic custom is not to do laundry during the week of tisha b'av.<ref> S"A 551:3 based on gemara in taanit 26b. </ref> Ashkenazic custom is to refrain already from Rosh Chodesh Av. <ref> Ramma 551:3 </ref> The same applies with wearing freshly laundered clothing even if they were washed prior to these times. <ref> S"A and Rama 551:3, Yechave Daat 1:39 </ref>
# A wig is considered an article of clothing for the purposes of laundry during the nine days and therefore one should not wash it or have it set professionally during the nine days. However, one may curl or set the wig at home, provided that they are not professionals. <ref>  Piskei Teshuvot 551:20 </ref>
# One is permitted to shine their shoes for Kavod of Shabbat. <ref> Iggerot Moshe 3:80 </ref>
==Cutting Nails==
# Cutting nails is permitted during the three weeks up until the week in which Tisha B’Av falls out. <ref> Mishnah Berura 551:20 based on the Taz 551:13. Magen Avraham 551:13 permits cutting nails even during the week of, as does the Kitzur S"A 122:5</ref> 
# Even according to those who prohibit cutting nails during the week of tisha b'av permit cutting nails on the friday preceding tisha B'av, if tisha b'av falls on shabbat. <ref> Mishna Berura 551:20 </ref> According to some Poskim only one who cuts his nails every Friday for shabbat may cut his nails on the friday preceding Tisha B'av. <ref> Eliya Rabbah 551, Yad Efraim 551, Kaf Hachaim 551:48, Piskei Teshuvot 551:19 </ref>
# A mohel is permitted to cut his nails in order to perform a bris. <ref> Kaf Hachaim 551:49 </ref>
== Miscellaneous ==  
== Miscellaneous ==  
# One is permitted to shine their shoes for Kavod of Shabbat. <ref> Iggerot Moshe 3:80 </ref>
# During the three weeks one should refrain from going to dangerous places and should be even more careful during the nine days. <ref> Piskei Tshuvos 551:1, 46. also see [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=1682 Rabbi Eli Mansour] </ref>  
# During the three weeks one should refrain from going to dangerous places and should be even more careful during the nine days. <ref> Piskei Tshuvos 551:1, 46. also see [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=1682 Rabbi Eli Mansour] </ref>  
# One should not schedule surgery for during the 3 weeks, and certainly not during the 9 days, unless the doctor insists that it cannot be postponed. <ref> Piskei Teshuvot 551:1 </ref>  
# One should not schedule surgery for during the 3 weeks, and certainly not during the 9 days, unless the doctor insists that it cannot be postponed. <ref> Piskei Teshuvot 551:1 </ref>  
# According to some Poskim only one who cuts his nails every Friday for shabbat may cut his nails on the friday preceding Tisha B'av. <ref> Eliya Rabbah 551, Yad Efraim 551, Kaf Hachaim 551:48, Piskei Teshuvot 551:19 </ref>
# If a Jew has to have a lawsuit with a non-Jew, he should evade having it with him in Av, as this is a time of ill fortune for a Jew. <ref> S"A 551:1, Taanit 29b. Mishna Berura 551:2 based on the Magen Avraham 551:2 says that this applies throughout the month of av until rosh chodesh elul, but at the minimum until tisha b'av. This is the ruling of the Chayei Adam 133:9, Kitzur S"A 122:7. Ben Ish Chai Devarim Halacha 1 says one should preferably wait until the fifteenth of av but really one has to wait until the tenth. </ref>
# A wig is considered an article of clothing for the purposes of laundry during the nine days and therefore one should not wash it or have it set professionally during the nine days. However, one may curl or set the wig at home, provided that they are not professionals. <ref>  Piskei Teshuvot 551:20 </ref>  
# One may hire a contractor to make necessary repairs to his home during the three weeks. <ref> Piskei Teshuvot 551:8, even though construction for joy is not done as per S"A 551:2, based on a gemara yevamot 43a and tosafot "milisa." </ref>
# One may hire a contractor to make necessary repairs to his home during the three weeks. <ref> Piskei Teshuvot 551:8, even though construction for joy is not done as per S"A 551:2, based on a gemara yevamot 43a and tosafot "milisa." </ref>
# Some poskim permit buying any necessary appliance, such as a refrigerator, washing machine, or bed, to replace one that broke during the Three Weeks <ref> Piskei Teshuvot 551:11. </ref>
# Some poskim permit buying any necessary appliance, such as a refrigerator, washing machine, or bed, to replace one that broke during the Three Weeks <ref> Piskei Teshuvot 551:11. </ref>
 
==Haftarot==
# The custom is to read three tragic haftarot during the three weeks followed by 7 consolation haftarot. <ref> S"A 428:8 </ref>
==Question and Answers==
==Question and Answers==
# Is it permissible to shave during the 3 weeks for Kavod Shabbos? [[#shavingforkavodshabbos| See above]]
# Is it permissible to shave during the 3 weeks for Kavod Shabbos? [[#shavingforkavodshabbos| See above]]
==References==
==References==
<references/>
<references/>

Revision as of 04:23, 29 June 2012

Destruction temple.jpg

When does the mourning period begin?

  1. The Ashkenazic minhag is to begin mourning from the fast of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. [1] There is a dispute whether the practices of mourning begin the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz (before the actual fast begins). [2]
  2. If Shiva Asar BeTamuz falls out on Shabbat and is pushed off to Sunday, then everyone agrees that the practices of mourning begin the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz (Motzei Shabbat). [3]

Buying new items

  1. One should not buy any clothes which would obligate one to make a Shehecheyanu. [4]
  2. If one doesn't have non-leather shoes for Tisha BeAv and one forgot to buy, one may buy them after Rosh Chodesh Av. [5]
  3. If one doesn't have Tefillin or one has the opportunity to buy nicer Tefillin it's permissible to buy them after Rosh Chodesh Av. [6]
  4. One should refrain from buying Tzitzit or a Talit during the three weeks. [7]
  5. One should refrain from buying a car during the three weeks unless one is buying it primarily for business purposes (such as a truck). [8] However, if one's entire family will use it (and benefit from it) one may buy it until Rosh Chodesh Av and make a bracha of HaTov VeHaMetiev instead of Shehecheyanu. [9]
  6. If there is a sale and one will be unable to purchase the same clothing after Tisha B'Av at the sale price, one may make the purchase during the Nine days, but may not wear the clothing until after Tisha B'Av. [10]

Weddings

  1. The Ashkenazic custom is not to get married during the three weeks. [11] Among Sephardim, some have just the custom not to get married during the nine days (from Rosh Chodesh Av until Tisha BeAv) [12] and some have the custom not to get married the entire three weeks. [13]
  2. It is permitted to become engaged during the Nine Days, and even on Tisha B’Av itself as long as there is no meal to celebrate or music and dancing. [14] Until Rosh Chodesh, one is allowed to celebrate the engagement with a festive meal. [15]

Cutting Hair

  1. According to Ashkenazim it’s forbidden to cut one’s hair for the entire three weeks, however, according to Sephardim one can cut hair until the week of Tisha BeAv. [16]
  2. For Sephardim it’s permitted to take a hair cut during the three weeks even a Sephardic Yeshiva Bachur in a Ashkenazi Yeshiva [17] however, it’s preferable to be strict not to cut the entire three weeks. [18]
  3. A women who needs to cut her hair in order to get married, all the more so if she's already engaged, or if a woman has the custom to cut her hair before going to the mikveh, it's permissible to do so during the three weeks. [19]
  4. If a woman’s hair is growing so long that it is becoming difficult for her to keep the hair under the head covering, she can cut it during the three weeks. [20]
  5. The father of a baby boy, the sandak, and the mohel can all cut their hair on the day of a baby's bris. [21]
  6. If not cutting one's hair will cause great monetary loss, one is permitted to cut it during the three weeks but not during the nine days. If one will not lose money, even if the hair makes him uncomfortable he may not cut his hair. [22]
  7. A child under the age of six is permitted to get a haircut. [23]
  8. It is permitted to comb and style the hair during the three weeks. [24]

Shaving

  1. There is a general prohibition of shaving during the three weeks just like hair cuts, however are several leniencies such as a person who shaves everyday, shaving for work, shaving for Kavod Shabbat. A person should follow his father’s minhag or ask his local Rabbi for guidance. [25]

Dancing

  1. Dancing is forbidden during the three weeks. [26]
  2. Some permit dancing at a seudah of Sheva Brachot, while others forbid. [27]

Swimming and Bathing

  1. Many hold that it is permissible to swim during the three weeks except in dangerous waters until the nine days (from Rosh Chodesh Av). [28]

Bathing and Showering

  1. Some stop bathing and showering for the week of Tisha B'av and some start already from the nine days. [29]
  2. Some poskim permit washing or showering to remove dirt or sweat. [30]

Saying Shehecheyanu

  1. One should refrain from making a Shehecheyanu during the Ben HaMeysarim. [31]
  2. However, a pregnant woman or a sick person is permitted to eat the new fruit. [32]
  3. On Shabbat one may make Shehecheyanu. [33]
  4. On Shabbat Chazon one shouldn’t wear new clothes. [34]
  5. One shouldn’t make a Shehecheyanu on the night of Sheva Asar BeTamuz, however, is there’s great need, there’s what to rely on. [35]
  6. A person should recite a shehechiyanu upon the birth of a baby girl [36]

Eating a new fruit or wearing new clothing

  1. Because one shouldn’t make a Shehecheyanu, one shouldn’t eat a new fruit or wear a new clothing because these actions require a Shehecheyanu. [37]
  2. Since nowadays we don’t make a Shehecheyanu on buying new clothes but only for wearing new clothes, some permit buying new clothes and some forbid. [38]

Listening to Music

Live Music

  1. It’s forbidden to listen to music from musical instruments during the three weeks. [39]
  2. Some poskim permit taking music lessons if they are not for pleasure and one will lose skills because of the time off. [40]

Non-live music

  1. Many authorities forbid listening to recorded music (music with instruments) during the three weeks. [41]

Live A cappella (singing without instruments)

  1. Some say that one may listen to vocal music (voices singing) during the three weeks but not the 9 days. [42]
  2. Many say that it is permissible to sing with one's mouth during the three weeks. [43]

Non-live A cappella

  1. Some say that listening to recorded vocal music is forbidden, while others permit. [44]

Brit Milah

  1. Some permit music at a meal for a Brit Milah during the three weeks. [45]

Siyum

  1. Some permit music at a meal for a Siyum of a Gemara (or the like) during the three weeks. [46]

Pidyon HaBen

  1. Some permit music at a meal for a Pidyon HaBen during the three weeks. [47]
  2. A shehecheyanu should be recited for the pidyon haben. [48]

Bar Mitzvah

  1. Some permit music at a meal for a Bar Mitzvah during the three weeks. [49]

Tzedaka Banquet

  1. One should be strict not to play music at a tzedaka banquet during the three weeks. [50]

Learning Torah

  1. It is permissible and a mitzvah to learn Torah with a tune and niggun even during the three weeks. [51]

A Music teacher or Musician

  1. Someone who’s profession is to play music before non-Jews or to teach music (and there would be a loss of money if he stops teaching music) may continue until the week of Tisha BeAv but it’s better to be strict from the beginning of the nine days. [52]

Meat and wine

  1. The Ashkenazic and Sephardic custom is to refrain from meat, poultry, and wine during the nine days. Ashkenazim include Rosh Chodesh in this prohibition, while Sephardim are lenient regarding the day of Rosh Chodesh itself and some Sephardim are strict. [53]
  2. Some say that there is what to rely on to have meat leftovers from Shabbat during the nine days, while others forbid. [54]
  3. One may eat meat at a meal for a mitzvah such as the meal of a Brit Milah and this includes the relatives and friend invited to the meal however, it doesn’t include those who just walk in to eat. [55]
  4. One may eat meat at a meal held for a siyum and this includes the friends and family invited to the meal. [56]
  5. One may eat meat a meal held for a Bar Mitzvah only if it’s held the day that the son becomes 13. [57]
  6. It is preferable not to even feed children meat during the nine days, but if you do you may have on who to rely. [58]
  7. Although the custom is not to eat meat or drink wine during the nine days, stores that sell meat or wine may continue to sell meat or wine because someone who is permitted to eat it, such as a sick person or for a seudat mitzvah may need it. [59] For whether a meat restaurant may remain open, see Rabbi Chaim Jachter: Restaurants Serving Meat During the Nine Days
  8. One is permitted to buy meat and wine during the Nine days for use after the Nine days if there is a sale, or he won't have time afterwards. [60]

Laundry

  1. The sephardic custom is not to do laundry during the week of tisha b'av.[61] Ashkenazic custom is to refrain already from Rosh Chodesh Av. [62] The same applies with wearing freshly laundered clothing even if they were washed prior to these times. [63]
  2. A wig is considered an article of clothing for the purposes of laundry during the nine days and therefore one should not wash it or have it set professionally during the nine days. However, one may curl or set the wig at home, provided that they are not professionals. [64]
  3. One is permitted to shine their shoes for Kavod of Shabbat. [65]

Cutting Nails

  1. Cutting nails is permitted during the three weeks up until the week in which Tisha B’Av falls out. [66]
  2. Even according to those who prohibit cutting nails during the week of tisha b'av permit cutting nails on the friday preceding tisha B'av, if tisha b'av falls on shabbat. [67] According to some Poskim only one who cuts his nails every Friday for shabbat may cut his nails on the friday preceding Tisha B'av. [68]
  3. A mohel is permitted to cut his nails in order to perform a bris. [69]

Miscellaneous

  1. During the three weeks one should refrain from going to dangerous places and should be even more careful during the nine days. [70]
  2. One should not schedule surgery for during the 3 weeks, and certainly not during the 9 days, unless the doctor insists that it cannot be postponed. [71]
  3. If a Jew has to have a lawsuit with a non-Jew, he should evade having it with him in Av, as this is a time of ill fortune for a Jew. [72]
  4. One may hire a contractor to make necessary repairs to his home during the three weeks. [73]
  5. Some poskim permit buying any necessary appliance, such as a refrigerator, washing machine, or bed, to replace one that broke during the Three Weeks [74]

Haftarot

  1. The custom is to read three tragic haftarot during the three weeks followed by 7 consolation haftarot. [75]

Question and Answers

  1. Is it permissible to shave during the 3 weeks for Kavod Shabbos? See above

References

  1. ↑ Rama 551:2 and 4
  2. ↑ Doleh UMashkeh (pg 208) quoting Rav Elashiv and Natai Gavriel (Ben HaMetzarim, vol 1, 14:5), the Chidah in Sh"t Chaim Sha’al 1:24, Tzitz Eliezer 10:26, Divrei Moshe 1:33, Rav Avraham M’butcatch OC 551:7 are strict, while Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:168, 3:100 (at the end), and 4:112(2) permits in cases of great need (such as performing a wedding on Motzei Shabbat the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz). Igrot Moshe 3:100 adds that since saying Shehecheyanu is a dispute there's no need to be strict not to say it the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Igrot Moshe 4:112(2) writes for great need one can be lenient to cut one's hair the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 writes that later Rav Moshe was asked about performing a wedding the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz and he advised doing the Chupah before Shekiyah. Shearim Metsiyunim BeHalacha 122:1 holds like that Igrot Moshe OC 1:168. Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 prohibited this, and he argues that according to some achronim the night of the 17th of tammuz is even stricter than the remainder of the three weeks. Rabbi Herschel Schachter Nefesh Harav page 196 quotes Rabbi Soloveitchik as being stringent as well. See also Kaf HaChaim 551:207 who quotes different opinions about this.
  3. ↑ Sh"t Igrot Moshe 3:100 (at the end)
  4. ↑ Mishna Brurah 551:99, Kaf Hachaim 551:210
  5. ↑ Sh"t Halachot Ketanot 1:139, Zeh HaShulchan (vol 2, Siman 551), Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein Iggerot Moshe 3:80
  6. ↑ Zeh HaShulchan (vol 1, Siman 551), Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein Iggerot Moshe 3:80
  7. ↑ Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein writes that one should refrain from buying Tzitzis or a Talis. Similarly, Or LeArba Asar (pg 81) writes that one should buy and wear it (and make Shehecheyanu) before the three weeks, however, after the fact if one didn't and one doesn't have as nice a pair one is permitted to wear it. Sh"T Birkat Reuven Shlomo 9:31 agrees.She'elat yaavetz 82 says that if your tzitzit become pasul and you don't have another, you may wear or even purchase a new one to fulfill the mitzva.
  8. ↑ Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein
  9. ↑ Sh"t Igrot Moshe 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375, Nitay Gavriel Page 51
  10. ↑ Sh"t Kinyan Torah 1:109 quoted in Piskei Tshuvos 551:27
  11. ↑ Rama 551:2 and Darchei Moshe 551:5 based on the Sefer Haminhagim, Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMetsarim (Rabbi Moshe Karp) 3:1
  12. ↑ S"A 551:2, based on gemara Yevamot 43b, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 140), Sh"t Yabia Omer OC 6:43
  13. ↑ Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim Halacha 4 based on the Shyarei Knesset hegedola, Sdei Chemed 6 MarechestBein Hametzarim 1:10, Rabbi Mansour of Daily Halacha says that this is the Syrian minhag.
  14. ↑ S"A 551:2 with Magen Avraham 551:10, and Mishna Berura 551:16, Tur 551 in the name of Rav Nissim.
  15. ↑ Mishna Berura 551:19
  16. ↑ The Gemara in Taanit 26b says that one shouldn’t cut one’s hair the week of Tisha BeAv. This Gemara is brought as Halacha by the Rambam (Taaniot 5:6). The Ramban (Torat HaAdam (Aveilut Yishana pg 346) explains that this prohibition applies to all hair on the body except the mustache if it interferes with eating. The Tur and S”A 551:3,12-13 rule like the Ramban that during the week of Tisha BeAv one is forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body except if there’s facial hair interfering with eating. Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158) writes that this is Sephardic custom. However, Rama 551:4 rules that Ashkenazim should be strict not to cut hair all three weeks like the Sefer Minhagim (pg 74).
  17. ↑ Sh”t Yechave Daat 4:36, 3:39, Sh”t Yabea Omer 3:31:5, Yalkut Yosef (Kitzur S”A 551(2):11)
  18. ↑ Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158-9)
  19. ↑ Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 163), Shalmei Moed (pg 477)
  20. ↑ Mishnah Berura 551:79
  21. ↑ Shaar Hatziyun 551:4 quoting the Chatam Sofer 158
  22. ↑ Iggerot Moshe OC 4:120
  23. ↑ Iggerot Moshe YD 1:224 and Aruch Hashulchan 551:31. Mishna Berura 551:81 and Shaar Hatziyun 551:91 as well as the Chayei Adam 133:18 bring two reasons that children should be included based on the Terumat Hadeshen 142. One being chinuch, in which case it would only apply to older than six and the other being "agmat nefesh," meaning it makes people feel more pain to see children mourning, in which case it would apply to even children under 6.
  24. ↑ Eliya Rabba 551:7, Sharei Tshuvah 551:12, Mishna Berura 551:20, Aruch Hashulchan 551:15
  25. ↑ Since S”A 551:12 rules that it’s forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body during the week of Tisha BeAv as a din from the Gemara it would seem clear that it’s forbidden to shave during the week of Tisha BeAv. Additionally, Ashkenazim who follow the Rama shouldn’t be able to shave during the entire three weeks as Rama 551:4 writes that the minhagim of the week of Tisha BeAv apply to the entire three weeks. However, there are several leniencies in the Achronim.
    • (1) Shaving Regularly: Magan Avraham 551:14 explains that the reason the Rama is strict by cutting hair all three week and is lenient by washing clothes (that it should only begin from Rosh Chodesh Av) is because it wasn’t common to cut hair every week. This Magan Avraham is brought by the Achronim including the Chaye Adam 133:17, and Mishna Brurah 551:32. Additionally, Aruch HaShulchan 551:16 explains that it takes 3 weeks of not cutting hair to make it recognizable that one is in mourning. Based on this, Shearim Metzuyanim BeHalacha 122:5 says that those who usually shave every 2-3 days should be able to shave since for them it’s just like washing clothes. Rav Ovadyah in Chazon Ovadyah (Vol Arba Taniot pg 162) based on this M”A says that seemingly, Ashkenazim should be allowed to shave for Kavod Shabbat prior to the week of Tisha BeAv. However, Sh”t Shaar Zekenim pg 88a (quoted by Kaf HaChaim 551:65), Shivilei Dovid 551:4, and Rav Vozner in Sh”t Shevet HaLevi 10:81:3 reject this leniency based on the minhag to be strict for all circumstances.
    • (2) Uncomfortable: (a) Rabbi Elazar Melamed in Peninei Halacha (zmanim pg 154-5) writes that if a person shaves everyday it’s very uncomfortable not to shave and it’s similar to S”A 551:13 that permits shaving a moustache that interferes with eating. (b)Rav Soloveitchik (quoted by Nefesh HaRav, Rav Schachter pg 191 and Shiurei Harav Al Inyanei Aveilut V'Tisha B'Av, pages 20-21 compared the three weeks to the Avielut of a year, the week of Tisha BeAv (or according to Ashkenazim, from Rosh Chodesh) compares to the Avielut of Shloshim, and Tisha BeAv itself is like Avielut of Shiva. Accordingly, Rav Shechter writes that one who regularly shaves everyday would be allowed to shave everyday until Rosh Chodesh Av. (Rav Shechter supports this comparison from Sh”t Panim Meirot 3:37e, and goes so far as to question Sh”t Igrot Moshe Y”D 2:137 who compares the week of Tisha BeAv to Avielut of Shiva.)
    • (3) Shaving Specifically: Seemingly, from S”A 551:12 all bodily hair can’t be cut including shaving a beard. However, Sh”t Chatom Sofer Y”D 348 D”H VeIy Galach writes that the entire prohibition only applies to cutting one’s hair but the poskim never spoke about shaving facial hair. This chiluk is also made by the Sh”t Nodeh BeYehuda O”C 14. Shearim Metsuyim BeHalacha 122:5 brings these achronim as halacha for someone who needs to shave for work.
    • (4) Monetary loss: (a)Sh”t Maharam Shik Y”D 371 writes that there is what to defend those who it’s difficult to do business with important people without shaving and during the year they regularly shave every 2-3 days to continue in the three weeks until the week of Tisha BeAv. (b) Sh”t Igrot Moshe C”M 1:93, O”C 4:102, 5:24:9 writes that by loosing a business deal or customers that will effect one’s income after Tisha BeAv, one can shave until the week of Tisha BeAv, but during the week of Tisha BeAv itself it’s only permissible to shave if one will not be able to make an income after Tisha BeAv or without working one needs to borrow money and it’s difficult to find someone to borrow from). (c) Maadenei Shlomo pg 51 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that if there’s a chance you’ll loose you’re job you can shave (even during the week of Tisha BeAv). Halichot Shlomo pg 414 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach who says that it’s permissible for a person who is endanger of losing a lot of money or his job may shave during the three weeks. (d)Shearim Metsuyim BeHalacha brings the Taz 551:1 (brought by Mishna Brurah 551:12) that says nowadays we don’t decrease our business activity during this time since we have to pay government taxes and all income is included in our Parnasa and therefore here too if there’s a chance of losing Parnasa that can be considered a concern of loss of money.
    • (4) Kavod Shabbat: (a) Magan Avraham 551:14 and Mishna Brurah 551:32 write that the prohibition of cutting hair applies even for Kavod Shabbat (unlike laundering which is relaxed for Kavod Shabbat for someone who doesn't have other clothes, because people don't cut their hair either way weekly). Yet, Pri Megadim (A”A 551:14) writes that according to Rama one can shave in honor of Shabbat until Rosh Chodesh Av. However, Mateh Yehuda 551:4 writes that even in honor of Shabbat one can’t shave during the three weeks. (b) On this dispute, Kaf HaChaim 551:66 writes that in this regard in depends on the minhag of the place (to follow the Pri Megadim or not), and Rabbi Moshe Karp in Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMeysarim (pg 25) writes that the Pri Megadim was more in line with minhag Ashkenaz than the Mateh Yehuda and there’s a lot to rely on to follow Pri Megadim. (c) Even on the original position of the Magan Avraham, the Hagot Rabbi Akiva Eiger and Buir Halacha 551:3 D”H VeChen (based on Tosfot Tanit and the Yerushalmi) argue that cutting hair should be permissible for Kavod Shabbat even for Shabbat Chazon. [However, the Rishonim themselves don’t all agree with Tosfot including the Kol Bo (quoted in Bet Yosef 551:4) who wouldn’t shave before Shabbat chazon and the Bet Yosef (who argues on Tosfot that it’s impossible to think that it’s permissible to cut hair on Tisha BeAv for Kavod Shabbat).] (d) Ashkenazim: Sh”t Ner Ezra (vol 2 pg 155-8) concludes that one can be lenient to shave for Kavod Shabbat and quotes Rav Aharon Lichtenstein who agrees. Weekly Parsha Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt writes that since many do shave regularly (more than once a week) there is a basis for the lenient minhag (based on the logic of the Magan Avraham). Nonetheless, the Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 42:52 writes simply like the Mishna Brurah not to shave during the three weeks even for Kavod Shabbat. (e)Sephardim: Rav Ovadyah Yosef (Sh"t Yachava Daat 3:39, Sh”t Yabea Omer 3:31:5; Chazon Ovadyah pg 162) writes that there is what to rely on to shave Friday of Shabbat Chazon if ones beard is uncomfortable, and certainly there’s what to rely on for Ashkenazim to shave for Kavod Shabbat during the rest of the three weeks. (e) Someone in doubt: Rabbi Robinowitz (quoted in Peninei Halacha by 156) says that a person should follow the minhag of his father so as not to appear more lenient or strict that his father.
  26. ↑ Magan Avraham 551:10 says that it is forbidden to dance during the three weeks. This is brought as Halacha in the Achronim including Eliya Rabba 551:6, Baer Hetiev 551:11, Mishna Brurah 551:16, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg 560, Kitzur S”A 551:9), and Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 149).
  27. ↑ Sh”t Mishna Halachot 6:109 permits dancing at a Sheva Brachot during the three weeks. Sh”t Mishna Halachot quotes that Rav Moshe Feinstein also permitted, while Rabbi Tzvi Mieslish forbade. (see Sh”t Igrot Moshe E”H 1:97.) Sh”t Avnei Yishfa 1:112 and Chazon Ovadyah (Taniot pg 153) agree with Mishna Halachot to allow dancing. However, Rav Vosner in Sh”t Shevet HaLevi 3:157 writes explicitly that for a simcha of Sheva Brachot music and dancing are forbidden.
  28. ↑ Sh"t Teshuvot VeHanhagot 2:263, Piskei Teshuvot 551:46 Rabbi Ayreh Lebowitz, Moadei Yeshurun (pg 128) quoting Rav Moshe, Halichot Shlomo (Moadim, vol 2, chap 14, note 7), MeBayit Levi (vol 13, pg 22, note 5) quoting Rav Wosner, Sh"t Rivevot Ephraim 3:333, 4:135:14, 6:285:2, and Shevet HaKehati 1:169:4. Rabbi Eider quotes Rav Moshe Iggerot Moshe Even Haezer 4:84 who says even during the nine days if one is sweating or dirty and wants to wash off it's permissible to dip in the pool for a short time. Shaarim mitzuyanim bihalacha kuntres acharon 122:12 is lenient with children swimming in private area during the nine days, but not in public, like camps.
  29. ↑ Rambam Hilchot Taaniot 5:6 says from the week of and the Mordechai Taanit 639 says from Rosh Chodesh Av. Both opinions are quoted in S"A 551:16. Kaf Hachayim 551:186 says to follow whatever the custom of the place where you are living.
  30. ↑ Aruch Hashulchan 551:37
  31. ↑ S”A 551:17 based on Maharil 31 writes that one should refrain from saying Shehecheyanu during Ben HaMeysarim. The Magan Avraham 551:42 explains that the reason not to make Shehecheyanu is because the three weeks is a time of tragedy for Klal Yisrael and it’s improper to have extra joy. However, the Gra D”H VeNohagin understands the practice as based on Aveilut and therefore argues that this is only an extra chumra and one is allowed to make Shehecheyanu (just like a mourner can make a Shehecheyanu as in Brachot 59b). The Taz 551:17 agrees to be lenient based on the concern that perhaps if you don’t make the Bracha now you may not be able after the Ben HaMeysarim. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one shouldn’t be lenient except on Shabbat.
  32. ↑ Mishna Brurah 551:99
  33. ↑ Sefer Chasidim 840, Mateh Moshe 697, Yosef Ometz 861, Magan Avraham 551:21,42, Chaye Adam 133:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2, Sh"t Yechave Daat 1:37 permit making Shehecheyanu on Shabbat. However, the Magan Avraham 551:42 quotes the Kitvei HaArizal who is machmir even on Shabbat. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one can be lenient regarding making Shehecheyanu on Shabbat since there’s some are lenient on shechiyanu during all of the three weeks and there’s some who specifically permit Shabbat.
  34. ↑ Eliyah Rabba 551:17 in name of Madenei Yom Tov that one should wear new clothes even on Shabbat during the three weeks because wearing new clothes has a special aspect of happiness (greater than eating a new fruit). So holds the Chaye Adam 133:14, Derech HaChaim 551:6 and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 not to wear new clothes all three weeks including Shabbat. However, Aruch HaShulchan 551:38 writes that one can make Shehecheyanu before Rosh Chodesh Av and afterwards one shouldn’t make Shehecheyanu even on Shabbat Chazon. Additionally, Mishna Brurah 551:45 writes that even those who are lenient to make Shehecheyanu on Shabbat will agree to be strict on Shabbat Chazon not to wear new clothes (which has a special element of happiness that a new fruit doesn’t have). Sh”t Yechave Daat 1:37 and Torat HaMoadim 5:7 concurs to the opinion of Mishna Brurah.
  35. ↑ Sh”t Sh”t Chaim Shal 1:24, Kaf HaChaim 551:207, Sdei Chemed 5:page 277, Biur Halacha 551:2 and Ikrei HaDaat O”C 27:9 write that one shouldn’t say Shehecheyanu on the night of Sheva Aser BeTamuz. However, Nechamat Yisrael (pg 40) permits in case of great need based on Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 1:168 (so is explicit in Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 3:100) and Mishnat Yacov (pg 168) permits Shehecheyanu at night even without any need.
  36. ↑ Nitai Gavriel 17:19 based on Maharil 31 who says the restriction of saying shehecheyanu is only on a beracha that can wait until after.
  37. ↑ Sh”t Chaim Shal O”C 7 and Ketonet Yosef 11 (quoted in Kaf HaChaim 551:207) writes that even though one can’t make a Shehecheyanu during the 3 weeks, one can eat a new fruit or wear new clothes without a Bracha. However, the Sefer Chasidim 840, Shaarei Knesset HaGedolah 551:52, Bach 551e, Maamer Mordechai 551:14, Yometz Ometz 56, Bear Heitev 551:20, and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 write that one is not allowed to have a new fruit during the three weeks without a Bracha, since having a new fruit requires a Bracha and it can’t be made during the three weeks.
  38. ↑ Halichot Shlomo pg 411 brings from the Talmidim of Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach that it’s permissible to buy new clothes since nowadays we don’t make a Bracha on buying clothes. see Nechamet Yisrael pg40
  39. ↑ Sh”t Kapei Aharon 52 writes that it’s clearly forbidden to listen to music during the three weeks. This is brought in Sh”t Igrot Moshe 1:166. Nitai Gavriel 15:1 writes that this law is missing from S”A and early poskim because there’s a general prohibition of Listening to Music and so there was no question about the three weeks. [There is a hint to the prohibition in the Pri Megadim and Maharam Shik who discuss playing music for an income during the three weeks.] However, because many are lenient like the Rama (unlike S”A and Bach) and are lenient regarding music all year, this question became relevant and it’s unanimously accepted by contemporary poskim that music is forbidden during the three weeks because it brings with it simcha just like dancing (explicitly forbidden by Magan Avraham 551:10). See next notes.
  40. ↑ Sh"t Tzitz Eliezer 16:19. Kaf Hachayim 551:41 writes that preferably it should not be done, and even if one is lenient it should only be sad songs. The Pri Megadim Esehl Avraham 551:10 writes that parallel to the concept of davar ha'aved on chol hamoed, the rabbis permitted somebody who needs to dance or play music for livelihood may do so.
  41. ↑ Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554), Nitay Gavriel 15:1, Penieni Halacha (pg 144), Sh"t Iggerot Moshe OC 1:166 and 3:87 Torat Hamoadim 5:2, Sh”t Yachave Daat 6:34 and 3:30, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 151), and Rabbi Mansour in Daily Halacha hold that recorded music is forbidden during the three weeks. See also Sh"t Igrot Moshe YD 2:137, Minchat Yitzchak 1:111, Shalmat Chaim 29:1, Mishnat Sachir 2:145, Sh”t Ohel Yisachar 39, and Divrei Shalom 3:118.
  42. ↑ Mekor Chaim 551:1 and Or letzion 3:25:2 write that during the 9 days one shouldn’t listen to even vocal music. This is brought as halacha in the Halachot UMinhagei Ben HaMesarim (by Rabbi Moshe Karp pg 25) and Nachmat Yisrael 3:3. Chazon Ovadyah (pg 151-4) and Torat Hamoadim 5:2 are lenient with vocal song that are praise to Hashem (especially for Shabbat including Shabbat Chazon).
  43. ↑ Mekadesh Yisroel (pg 20), Chut Shuni (Shabbat, vol 2, pg 325), Sh"t Shevet HaLevi 3:15, Halachically Speaking (Vol 5, Issue 13, note 46)
  44. ↑ Sh”t Shevet Halevi 6:69, 8:127:2, Nitai Gavriel 15:1, Sh”t Tzitz Eliezer 15:33, Piskei Shemuot (pg 54) quoting Rav Elyashiv and Rav Karlitz, and Nechmat Yisrael 3:4 forbid listening to a recorded vocal song. However, Sh”t Igrot Moshe YD 2:137 and Sh”t Yachave Daat 6:34 permit (regarding Jewish music). Halachically Speaking quotes Rav Yisrael Belsky and Rav Efraim Greenblatt who forbid listening to singing which is meant to simulate actual music such as A capella because it creates the same musical experience. Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz writes that most permit listening to recorded voices singing.
  45. ↑ In general, Rama (551:3) permits music for a dvar mitzvah like a wedding. However, the Yavetz in his siddur (Amudei Shesh; quoted by Yafeh Lelev 560:7) writes that a simcha of a Brit Milah there should be no music. Eliyah Rabba 551:26 writes that the minhag is like the Yavetz. Regarding the three weeks Chida in Sh”t Chaim Shal 1:21 writes that the (Sephardic) minhag is to be lenient to have music at a meal of a Brit Milah. Ikrei HaDaat (Y”D 36:23), Sh”t Maaseh Avraham (Y”D 48), Moed Kol Chai (10:20), Ot Chaim VeShalom (the Munchatch Rebbe; 265:29), Torat HaMoadim 5:4, and Sh”t Yachave Daat 1:45 write that the Sephardic minhag is to lenient by the meal of a Brit Milah. (It seems that Shirei Knesset HaGedolah 551:33 who’s strict regarding the party for a Milah at night, but would agree concerning the meal right after the Milah. Additionally, it seems Sh”t Igrot Moshe 1:166 would agree as he even discusses a tzedaka banquet regarding music the rest of the year.)
  46. ↑ Sh”t Yachave Daat 1:45 writes that music is permited for a seudat mitzvah including a siyum. Torat HaMoadim 5:4 and Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554) extend this to even during the three weeks.
  47. ↑ Sh”t Yachave Daat 1:45 permits music at a suedat mitzvah such as a Pidyon HaBen. Torat HaMoadim 5:4 and Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554) extend this to even during the three weeks.
  48. ↑ S"A 551:17
  49. ↑ Sh"t Yachava Daat 6:34, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554), and Torat HaMoadim 5:4 permit music at a simchat Bar Mitzvah during the three weeks. However, Darkei Horah (Dinei Ben Hametsarim pg 17, by Rav Asher Weiss) and Natai Gavriel (Ben HaMetzarim chapter 16:3) forbid. Halichot Emet 7:12 writes that the sephardic minhag is to be lenient and ashkenazic minhag is to be strict. Halachically Speaking writes that some are lenient.
  50. ↑ Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 166 permits all types of festivities of mitzvah and says that perhaps even a tzadeka banquet perhaps can be included. However, the Sh”t Igrot Moshe concludes that during the three weeks we are more strict regarding music and therefore there is almost nothing to rely on to play music at a tzedaka banquet.
  51. ↑ Sh”t Mishna Halachot 6:107, Sh”t Yachave Daat 6:34, Torat HaMoadim 5:2, Sedei Chemed (Peat Sadeh, Ben HaMetsarim 1:10),
  52. ↑ Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 156). See also Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554).
  53. ↑ The gemara Baba Batra 60b quotes the opinion of Rabbi Yishmael Ben Elisha that after the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash, it would have been appropriate for the rabbis ban eating meat and drinking wine in order to properly mourn. However, since most of the congregation would not be able to abide by this, the rabbis never made it. Biur HaGra, OC 551:9, writes that this is the source for refraining from eating meat and drinking wine prior to Tisha B'Av that although it is impossible to ban eating meat and drinking wine throughout the year, it is possible to refrain from meat and wine for a short period of time.The Mishna in Taanit 26b the Gemara 30a discuss the prohibition of eating meat during the seudat hamakseket prior to tisha b'av. Rambam Hilchot Taaniot 5:6 says that the custom is to extend the prohibition beyond that meal. He says that some don't eat meat during the week of tisha b'av, and some don't eat from rosh chodesh av and onward. S"A 551:9 writes that there are three customs about not eating meat and drinking wine; some refrain only for the week on Tisha BeAv, some refrain for the nine days (from Rosh Chodesh Av), some refrain for the whole three weeks. Mishna Brurah 551:58 writes that the Ashkenazic custom is not to eat meat or drink wine for the nine days including Rosh Chodesh Av but excluding Shabbat (Mishna Berura 551:59). This is also written in the Weekly Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt. Sh"t Yachava Daat 1:41 writes that the Sephardic custom is to refrain from eating meat and wine during the nine days, however, on Rosh Chodesh the minhag is to be lenient, however, some are strict. See also Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 169) and Halachot and History of The Three Weeks (by Rabbi Shlomo Churba, pg 37) who also write that the Sephardic custom is not to eat meat, poultry or wine in the nine days.
  54. ↑ Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 177) writes that there is what to rely on, while the Weekly Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt quotes Sh"t Igrot Moshe 4:21(4) who forbids (see there).
  55. ↑ Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 196-7)
  56. ↑ Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 196-8). Although the Rama 551:10 writes that one should minimize the amount of guests invited to this meal, Rav Moshe Feinstein and Rav Shlomo Z. Auerbach (cited in Nitei Gavriel Hilchot Bein HaMetzarim 41:4), rule that if the one who completes the masechet eats in a communal dining room (such as a camp or hotel), all those who eat with him may participate.
  57. ↑ Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 200), Halichot Shlomo (Moadim vol 2 pg 415), Yad Yitzchak 3:230
  58. ↑ MB 551:70 and Shaar Hatziyun 551:76 say that although there is no requirement for the child to mourn for the beit hamikdash, the prohibition of feeding children prohibited items discussed in SA OC 343 extends to things that are only prohibited by custom. Iggerot Moshe 4:21:4 says even to feed the children meat on Friday afternoon before shabbat would not be allowed unless they usually eat their Friday night meal at that hour. Based on the Magen Avraham 551:31, Rabbi David Yosef in torat hamoadim Siman 5 page 190 says there is ample room to be lenient in this case. Aruch Hashulchan 551:26 as well says there is room to be lenient, especially in a case where it is a weak child who can gain a lot from eating the meat.
  59. ↑ Iggerot Moshe 4:112
  60. ↑ Iggerot Moshe 4:112
  61. ↑ S"A 551:3 based on gemara in taanit 26b.
  62. ↑ Ramma 551:3
  63. ↑ S"A and Rama 551:3, Yechave Daat 1:39
  64. ↑ Piskei Teshuvot 551:20
  65. ↑ Iggerot Moshe 3:80
  66. ↑ Mishnah Berura 551:20 based on the Taz 551:13. Magen Avraham 551:13 permits cutting nails even during the week of, as does the Kitzur S"A 122:5
  67. ↑ Mishna Berura 551:20
  68. ↑ Eliya Rabbah 551, Yad Efraim 551, Kaf Hachaim 551:48, Piskei Teshuvot 551:19
  69. ↑ Kaf Hachaim 551:49
  70. ↑ Piskei Tshuvos 551:1, 46. also see Rabbi Eli Mansour
  71. ↑ Piskei Teshuvot 551:1
  72. ↑ S"A 551:1, Taanit 29b. Mishna Berura 551:2 based on the Magen Avraham 551:2 says that this applies throughout the month of av until rosh chodesh elul, but at the minimum until tisha b'av. This is the ruling of the Chayei Adam 133:9, Kitzur S"A 122:7. Ben Ish Chai Devarim Halacha 1 says one should preferably wait until the fifteenth of av but really one has to wait until the tenth.
  73. ↑ Piskei Teshuvot 551:8, even though construction for joy is not done as per S"A 551:2, based on a gemara yevamot 43a and tosafot "milisa."
  74. ↑ Piskei Teshuvot 551:11.
  75. ↑ S"A 428:8
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