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Tenayim: Difference between revisions
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→Procedure of Tenayim
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# The contract is made between the two fathers or guardians of bride and groom, and so they lift a kerchief or any item in order to finalize their agreement with an action,<ref>As evidenced by the phrase וקנינא mentioned in even Rav Moshe's version of the contract.</ref> but if the contract is symbolic then no monetary obligation is affected by this transaction.<ref>See Rama E.H. 50:6 and poskim there. R. Moshe Feinstein wrote (Iggeros Moshe E.H. 1:91) regarding this practice, דמה שכותבין בשעת החופה אינו כלום</ref> | # The contract is made between the two fathers or guardians of bride and groom, and so they lift a kerchief or any item in order to finalize their agreement with an action,<ref>As evidenced by the phrase וקנינא mentioned in even Rav Moshe's version of the contract.</ref> but if the contract is symbolic then no monetary obligation is affected by this transaction.<ref>See Rama E.H. 50:6 and poskim there. R. Moshe Feinstein wrote (Iggeros Moshe E.H. 1:91) regarding this practice, דמה שכותבין בשעת החופה אינו כלום</ref> | ||
## Some say that a kinyan should be made with the chatan, kallah, as well as their fathers or guardians.<ref>Shaarei Hanesuin 2:3. On top he writes that the kinyan should be made with the chatan, kallah, as well as their fathers. But he notes that some don't make a kinyan with the chatan and kallah. He quotes from Orchot Rabbenu v. 2 p. 250 that even if they don't make a kinyan with the chatan and kallah but they should be present when they make the kinyan. Birkat Hanesuin p. 50 quotes Shulchan Haezer 2:2:6 who writes that there's no reason to make a kinyan with the chatan and kallah since for them it is just a kinyan devarim that they agree to get married, as opposed to the fathers it is a kinyan for a monetary obligation. </ref> | ## Some say that a kinyan should be made with the chatan, kallah, as well as their fathers or guardians.<ref>Shaarei Hanesuin 2:3. On top he writes that the kinyan should be made with the chatan, kallah, as well as their fathers. But he notes that some don't make a kinyan with the chatan and kallah. He quotes from Orchot Rabbenu v. 2 p. 250 that even if they don't make a kinyan with the chatan and kallah but they should be present when they make the kinyan. Birkat Hanesuin p. 50 quotes Shulchan Haezer 2:2:6 who writes that there's no reason to make a kinyan with the chatan and kallah since for them it is just a kinyan devarim that they agree to get married, as opposed to the fathers it is a kinyan for a monetary obligation. </ref> | ||
## The kinyan must be made in front of the edim who are going to sign the tenayim.<ref>Seder Kiddushin Unesuin p. 11</ref> | |||
#After the edim read the text of the tenayim they sign it.<ref>Seder Kiddushin Unesuin p. 11</ref> | |||
# The accepted custom is to have the contract (or at least its headings) read aloud in public when it is signed by the parties and witnesses, so that all of those signing know the content of the contract.<ref>Noda Bi'Yhudah Kama Y.D. 66, Aruch Hashulchan E.H. 50:26</ref> | # The accepted custom is to have the contract (or at least its headings) read aloud in public when it is signed by the parties and witnesses, so that all of those signing know the content of the contract.<ref>Noda Bi'Yhudah Kama Y.D. 66, Aruch Hashulchan E.H. 50:26</ref> | ||
# It is a nice practice for the groom (or someone else) to say some words of Torah at the signing of the Tenayim, whether immediately before the wedding or at the engagement.<ref>Magen Avraham O.C. 306:15</ref> | # It is a nice practice for the groom (or someone else) to say some words of Torah at the signing of the Tenayim, whether immediately before the wedding or at the engagement.<ref>Magen Avraham O.C. 306:15</ref> | ||
# After the reading of the Tenayim, the custom has developed for the mothers of the bride and groom to break a utensil (usually a plate).<ref>Eliyah Rabba O.C. 560:7 writes that this is to remember Jerusalem, but Pri Migeadim to Taz O.C. 560:4 and Aruch Hashulchan E.H. 50:26 offer other reasons.</ref> | # After the reading of the Tenayim, the custom has developed for the mothers of the bride and groom to break a utensil (usually a plate).<ref>Eliyah Rabba O.C. 560:7 writes that this is to remember Jerusalem, but Pri Migeadim to Taz O.C. 560:4 and Aruch Hashulchan E.H. 50:26 offer other reasons.</ref> | ||
# Two copies of the tenayim contract should be made, one for the father of the bride and one for the father of the groom.<ref>Shaarei Hanesuin 2:11, Birkat Hanesuin p. 44. [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/827065/Rabbi_Hershel_Schachter/Seder_Kiddushin_and_Nesuin Rav Schachter in "Seder Kiddushin and Nesuin" (min 2)] explained that since it is a contract where both the father of the bride and father of the groom agree they should both receive a copy of the contract. </ref> | # Two copies of the tenayim contract should be made, one for the father of the bride and one for the father of the groom.<ref>Shaarei Hanesuin 2:11, Birkat Hanesuin p. 44, Seder Kiddushin Unesuin p. 10. [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/827065/Rabbi_Hershel_Schachter/Seder_Kiddushin_and_Nesuin Rav Schachter in "Seder Kiddushin and Nesuin" (min 2)] explained that since it is a contract where both the father of the bride and father of the groom agree they should both receive a copy of the contract. </ref> | ||
# When the tenayim are written right before the wedding it should include the same date of the wedding as it is in the kesuba.<ref>Seder Kiddushin Unesuin p. 10</ref> | |||
==Sources== | ==Sources== | ||
<references/> | <references/> | ||
[[Category:Marriage]] | [[Category:Marriage]] | ||
