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Tenayim: Difference between revisions
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# If the "Tenayim" is not signed or written until the time of the marriage, as is the custom in many communities today,<ref>[http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/827065/Rabbi_Hershel_Schachter/Seder_Kiddushin_and_Nesuin Rav Schachter in "Seder Kiddushin and Nesuin" (min 1-2)]</ref> the text should reflect the contract's symbolic nature.<ref>The text according to Rav Moshe Feinstein (and that of other gedolim) can be found in[http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=46545&pgnum=377 Nitei Gavriel Nesuin v. 1 p. 377].</ref> | # If the "Tenayim" is not signed or written until the time of the marriage, as is the custom in many communities today,<ref>[http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/827065/Rabbi_Hershel_Schachter/Seder_Kiddushin_and_Nesuin Rav Schachter in "Seder Kiddushin and Nesuin" (min 1-2)]</ref> the text should reflect the contract's symbolic nature.<ref>The text according to Rav Moshe Feinstein (and that of other gedolim) can be found in[http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=46545&pgnum=377 Nitei Gavriel Nesuin v. 1 p. 377].</ref> | ||
# The contract is made between the two fathers or guardians of bride and groom, and so they lift a kerchief or any item in order to finalize their agreement with an action,<ref>As evidenced by the phrase וקנינא mentioned in even Rav Moshe's version of the contract.</ref> but if the contract is symbolic then no monetary obligation is affected by this transaction.<ref>See Rama E.H. 50:6 and poskim there. R. Moshe Feinstein wrote (Iggeros Moshe E.H. 1:91) regarding this practice, דמה שכותבין בשעת החופה אינו כלום</ref> | # The contract is made between the two fathers or guardians of bride and groom, and so they lift a kerchief or any item in order to finalize their agreement with an action,<ref>As evidenced by the phrase וקנינא mentioned in even Rav Moshe's version of the contract.</ref> but if the contract is symbolic then no monetary obligation is affected by this transaction.<ref>See Rama E.H. 50:6 and poskim there. R. Moshe Feinstein wrote (Iggeros Moshe E.H. 1:91) regarding this practice, דמה שכותבין בשעת החופה אינו כלום</ref> | ||
## Some say that a kinyan should be made with the chatan, kallah, as well as their fathers or guardians.<ref>Shaarei Hanesuin 2:3. On top he writes that the kinyan should be made with the chatan, kallah, as well as their fathers. But he notes that some don't make a kinyan with the chatan and kallah. He quotes from Orchot Rabbenu v. 2 p. 250 that even if they don't make a kinyan with the chatan and kallah but they should be present when they make the kinyan. </ref> | ## Some say that a kinyan should be made with the chatan, kallah, as well as their fathers or guardians.<ref>Shaarei Hanesuin 2:3. On top he writes that the kinyan should be made with the chatan, kallah, as well as their fathers. But he notes that some don't make a kinyan with the chatan and kallah. He quotes from Orchot Rabbenu v. 2 p. 250 that even if they don't make a kinyan with the chatan and kallah but they should be present when they make the kinyan. Birkat Hanesuin p. 50 quotes Shulchan Haezer 2:2:6 who writes that there's no reason to make a kinyan with the chatan and kallah since for them it is just a kinyan devarim that they agree to get married, as opposed to the fathers it is a kinyan for a monetary obligation. </ref> | ||
# The accepted custom is to have the contract (or at least its headings) read aloud in public when it is signed by the parties and witnesses, so that all of those signing know the content of the contract.<ref>Noda Bi'Yhudah Kama Y.D. 66, Aruch Hashulchan E.H. 50:26</ref> | # The accepted custom is to have the contract (or at least its headings) read aloud in public when it is signed by the parties and witnesses, so that all of those signing know the content of the contract.<ref>Noda Bi'Yhudah Kama Y.D. 66, Aruch Hashulchan E.H. 50:26</ref> | ||
# It is a nice practice for the groom (or someone else) to say some words of Torah at the signing of the Tenayim, whether immediately before the wedding or at the engagement.<ref>Magen Avraham O.C. 306:15</ref> | # It is a nice practice for the groom (or someone else) to say some words of Torah at the signing of the Tenayim, whether immediately before the wedding or at the engagement.<ref>Magen Avraham O.C. 306:15</ref> | ||
# After the reading of the Tenayim, the custom has developed for the mothers of the bride and groom to break a utensil (usually a plate).<ref>Eliyah Rabba O.C. 560:7 writes that this is to remember Jerusalem, but Pri Migeadim to Taz O.C. 560:4 and Aruch Hashulchan E.H. 50:26 offer other reasons.</ref> | # After the reading of the Tenayim, the custom has developed for the mothers of the bride and groom to break a utensil (usually a plate).<ref>Eliyah Rabba O.C. 560:7 writes that this is to remember Jerusalem, but Pri Migeadim to Taz O.C. 560:4 and Aruch Hashulchan E.H. 50:26 offer other reasons.</ref> | ||
# Two copies of the tenayim contract should be made, one for the father of the bride and one for the father of the groom.<ref>[http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/827065/Rabbi_Hershel_Schachter/Seder_Kiddushin_and_Nesuin Rav Schachter in "Seder Kiddushin and Nesuin" (min 2)] explained that since it is a contract where both the father of the bride and father of the groom agree they should both receive a copy of the contract | # Two copies of the tenayim contract should be made, one for the father of the bride and one for the father of the groom.<ref>Shaarei Hanesuin 2:11, Birkat Hanesuin p. 44. [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/827065/Rabbi_Hershel_Schachter/Seder_Kiddushin_and_Nesuin Rav Schachter in "Seder Kiddushin and Nesuin" (min 2)] explained that since it is a contract where both the father of the bride and father of the groom agree they should both receive a copy of the contract. </ref> | ||
==Sources== | ==Sources== | ||
<references/> | <references/> | ||
[[Category:Marriage]] | [[Category:Marriage]] | ||
