Chinuch

Chinuch (Hebrew: חינוך, tran. education) is the obligation upon every father to educate his children how to fulfill mitzvot. This mitzvah applies even before his children reach the age of Bar Mitzvah/Bat Mitzvah. The age at which this obligation begins varies according to the Mitzvah. Below are the details of this Mitzvah

D’Orayta or D’Rabanan?

The Mitzvah of Chinuch - to teach Torah to our children - is clearly a Mitzvah D’Orayta as explicitly stated: V’shinantam L’vanecha. However, is the Mitzvah of chinuch - to instruct children to begin performing Mitzvot before they are of the age of Mitzvot - a mitzva D’Orayata or D’Rabanan?

1. Rav Schneur Zalman of Liadi says that it is clearly a mitzvah D’rabanan because it is never mentioned in the Torah.
2. However, Rav Meir Simchah of Dvinsk disagrees, citing Bereshit “For I have known him, to the end that he may command his children and his household after him” which he interprets to mean that Avraham was commanded to teach his household and children to perform the Mitzvot. This, however, is a general Mitzvah to teach children to appreciate Mitzvot. The Mitzvah to teach a child to perform each individual Mitzvah is D’Rabanan.
3. According to Rav Soloveitchik, although teaching children the Mitzvot is D’Rabanan, the Mitzvah of Chinuch is modeled after the biblical commandment of Sippur Yitziat Mitzrayim. This commandment to retell the story of our ancestors is extended, and, while there is a special commandment to tell over the story of Egypt, we must retell all of the Torah and Mitzvot to our children using all of the educational methods we follow in Sippur Yitziat Mitzrayim.

At What Age?

1. The general age of when one starts to do mitzvos, is when the parents think that this child is mature enough to fulfill the whole mitzvah, even with its more complicated parts.
2. The age of chinuch depends on the child's individual intelligence. Usually the age when a child is intelligent enough for mitzvos is 5 or 6 years of age.
   1. For Shabbat some say that the age of chinuch begins at age 4 or 5.
3. There are some mitzvos in which parents start training their children even before five years of age. But some mitzvos can be more complicated and parents should wait until children are older to train them.
4. A child can make several mistakes before they can begin to execute the mitzvah properly. But if one does make a mistake trying to execute the mitzvah, the parents should not get frustrated with their kid and instead should encourage them to try again.

Who is obligated in Chinuch?

• There is a machloket in the commentaries regarding whether the mitzvah of chinuch is for the parent or the child.

1. The book of Mishlei says that one should teach his child in a manner which will stick with him forever: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Rashi comments on this pasuk saying that depending on what you teach him those lessons will affect him the rest of his life. This means that the parent has the responsibility to teach the child life lessons. This belief would suggest that chinuch is a mitzvah for the father, because he is the one who will have the ability to affect his child's future.
2. Some rishonim hold that the son isn't obligated in mitzvot at all and it is only father who is obligated to train his son in mitzvot. However, others hold that the child himself is rabbinically obligated in mitzvot.
3. While the majority of the Poskim hold that Chinuch only applies to the father, some say it also applies to the mother.

How Completely Must the Mitzvah Be Performed?

• The obligation of chinuch is for a father to train his son to do mitzvot, before he is required. The question that arises is: can a father fulfill his obligation by training his children to learn the basics of the mitzvah or must a father teach his son to perform the mitzvot perfectly. There are many different views on how a father should approach this issue.

1. Some examples of cases of chinuch are with a lulav and with tzitzit. While the obligation of chinuch is only fulfilled if you give your child a perfectly kosher lulav and pair of tzitzit, you don’t have to give your child lulav hadar. In addition, you also don’t have to teach your child to have kavanah while performing the mitzvah. From this, we can infer that while it is important to teach your child to not perform the mitzvah in a non-kosher way, it is also not necessary to make your child fully enthralled in all aspects of the mitzvah.
2. There is a dispute whether a father fulfills his obligation when letting his child use a borrowed lulav for sukkot. This question revolves around whether the nature of the obligation of chinuch was to train the child to do mitzvot when he gets older in which case it would suffice or was it that the rabbis imposed an obligation upon the child to do mitzvot before he becomes biblically obligated.

Until When?

1. Although the primary purpose of Chinuch is to train children when they are young so that they continue to perform the Mitzvot during adulthood, the parents' obligation does not end when a child reaches bar or bat mitzvah. A parent must make sure that the child continues to adhere to all biblical or rabbinic laws even after maturity.

Daily Mitzvot

Prayer

1. Once a child knows how to speak he should be taught to say the first pasuk of Shema.
2. A child of 6 or 7 should be taught to say the brachot of Kriyat Shema, Shema, and Shmoneh Esrei.
   1. If a child cannot pray the entire prayer, the order or priority is Shemoneh Esrei, Kriyat Shema, Birchot Hashachar, and then P'seukei D'zimra.
   2. A child can eat before Shmoneh Esrei in the morning.
3. One should teach small children to answer Amen because once a child answers Amen, he has a place in Olam Haba.
4. There is a chinuch for a child to daven in a minyan but davening in a group of ten children isn't considered a minyan at all even for chinuch.
5. A child should not serve as the Chazan for a minyan, especially for Shacharit and Mincha. Those who allow a child to lead the congregation for Arvit may have what to rely on, but ideally one should not do so.
6. Regarding children performing Birkat Cohanim see Birkat Cohanim.

Berachot

1. Children should be taught to say berachot before food at the age of 5, or when the children are able to say it properly. However many people have different customs to start having children say berachot at an earlier age.
2. Some say that children from the age of 6 should say Birkat Hamazon. Some say that a child who is unable to recite the regular text of Birkat Hamazon should recite an abbreviated version. Others say, he should be taught to say as much as he can.
3. In order to teach children what berachot they should say and how they should say them, anyone may show/teach the children by saying the full berachot for the child even where the child doesn't presently have to make that bracha. Some say that when possible, the adult should just begin pronouncing the name of God, and have the child pronounce the entire Name.
4. A parent is allowed to answer “amen” to berachot that are said by a child at the proper time, but not when it is just for practice.
   1. Some limit this to answering "amen" to a child who has reached the age of chinuch, but others allow answering "amen" even to a child before the age of chinuch. The custom is to answer even to younger children.
5. Children that are older than five or six, or whatever age the accepted custom says, and get up in the middle of the night, should not eat unless they said the proper berachot beforehand.
6. While there is a prohibition in saying G-d's Name (Ado-nai) when it is isn't warranted, the prohibition is waived when being used in the process of Chinuch. Therefore, it is permitted (obligatory, rather) to say the full Bracha, with Shem and Malchut, in order to teach a child how and when to say what Brachot.
7. With regards to Birkat HaGomel see Birkat HaGomel page.

Tallit Katan

1. One should buy a talit katan for a child who has reached the age of chinuch.
2. There are a variety of opinions for the age of chinuch for talit katan
   1. Some say the age of three.
   2. Some say it is six or seven.
   3. Others says that it is nine.
3. Regarding the size, it is proper to get the child a shirt that will cover his head and most of his body, subject to the actual size of that individual child. If it is big enough, the child should be taught to say the beracha. If not, he can wear it without a beracha.

Tefillin

1. A child who can be careful to keep his body clean and respect the holiness of Tefillin, should be taught to put on Tefillin prior to his 13th birthday. The poskim differ on the exact amount of time , but the common Minhag for ashkenazim is that a boy under the age of 13 wears Tefillin only 2 or 3 months before his Bar Mitzvah. Sepharadim typically begin a year or two before Bar Mitzva.

Washing Hands

Washing for Bread

1. Children that have not reached the age of bar or bat mitzvah are nevertheless required to wash their hands before eating bread. Even though washing hands is a mitzvah derabanan, it is a mitzvah of chinuch to teach kids mitzvot that are derabanan.
2. One opinion is that even when the child is being spoon fed because he does not have the motor skills to feed himself yet, he still is required to wash for bread when he eats more than a Kezayit.
3. Harav Adir Cohen says that when the child can say the bracha they should wash their hands before eating bread. Since in many kindergarten and nursery classrooms they have posters of the bracha on the wall, they have already memorized it when they are young. Therefore, they should be able to wash by then.

Washing in the Morning

1. Children that have reached the age of chinuch should be trained to wash their hands upon rising in the morning and they should not touch food before washing hands. Some say parents should try to wash the hands of their children, regardless of their age.
2. Children who have reached the age of chinuch should be trained to wash their hands after going to the bathroom or touching parts of their body that are generally covered.

Bringing Children to Shul

There is a lot of controversy over the issue of bringing your kids to shul. Is it a positive thing that will be positive for their future or will it be a distraction to others and a negative outlook on shul for the child?

1. Some say that bringing children to shul before they are ready infuses them with spirituality just like a bris milah is given to a child before the age of chinuch because it infuses him with spirituality.
2. The gemara writes that the reason why children were also supposed to assemble at hakhel was to ‘bring reward to those who brought them’. Tosafot comments that this is the source for bringing children to shul.
3. The Shla hakadosh was frustrated by people who brought kids to shul who were not yet old enough to be in shul without making disruptions and bothering the shul. This will leave an impression on the child and he will feel distaste towards the shul as an adult because of it.
4. The Mishna Berura writes that one shouldn’t daven with a young child in front of himm as the child will likely distract him.
5. The Shulchan Aruch writes that children should listen to the megilla being read on Purim. The Mishna Berura writes that this is only applicable to children who have reached the age of chinuch. The Chafetz Chaim bemoans the unfortunate reality that many parents bring their younger children who disturb everyone else.
6. One should not kiss a young child in shul. Some limit this to the time of prayer. Others do not accept this distinction.

A Kohen Becoming Tamei

1. Hacham Ovadia Yosef says a kohen’s wife who is pregnant while she knows it's a male is allowed to go to cemeteries while pregnant because the fetus is considered to be a part of the mother. Rav Elyashiv says that a kohen’s wife who is giving birth to a male needs to make sure the hospital is one where the child won't become tamei after being born.
2. A kohen must never become Tamei, so as a baby it is the parent's responsibility to keep the baby from being near dead bodies.
3. Once the Kohen is old enough and mature enough to be taught the obligation of not becoming tamei the responsibility to keep the child from becoming Tamei falls off the parents and on the child

Shabbat

Kiddush and Havdalah

1. When a child is able to understand when it is Shabbat, then he or she must hear kiddush and havdalah. Understanding that it is Shabbos does not mean that he or she only says good shabbos and that’s all; rather a kid must understand that it’s the 7th day and it’s the rest day and not a day to do work.
2. When a child is of that age, parents must make sure to call the child to the table to hear kiddush. However, unlike adults, children are permitted to eat before kiddush is recited.
3. If a child goes to sleep before hearing havdallah or Kiddush on Friday night and it is past the child’s normal bedtime, some say it is not necessary to wake him or her up for Kiddush/Havdalah. Others say that on Friday night, the child may say Kiddush before going to sleep after plag haMincha. Others suggest that if the child did not say kiddush on Friday night or havdallah, he should say the Friday night text for the Shabbos morning kiddush and havdallah when he wakes up on Sunday morning.

Kavod Shabbat

1. Children who have reached the age of chinuch should be taught to assist in preparing for shabbat.
2. Children who have reached the age of chinuch should be given special clothes for shabbat.
3. The obligation to light candles before shabbat can be fulfilled by one member of the house lighting. Nevertheless, some have the custom for the young girls to light their own candles.

Melacha on Shabbat

1. On Shabbat, a parent cannot tell a kid to do melacha. This is a biblical prohibition.
2. According to one opinion, you can have a child do melacha for you if it is only an issur derabanan According to most opinions you may not ask a child to do a melacha for you under any circumstances even melacha derabanan.
3. Even though one cannot ask a child to do melacha, if a young child is playing with a toy that makes noise on shabbat, you don’t have to tell the kid to stop if he is too young to understand the laws of Shabbat.
4. If a parent sees that his son or daughter is doing a melacha he needs to stop them from doing the melacha, even if they did not reach the age of chinuch, provided that they reached the age to understand what they are being told not to do. If they are doing a melacha derabbanan for their own needs a parent does not need to stop them.
5. But, if a kid is old enough to understand which actions are forbidden and which are allowed to do on Shabbat, then you must stop him from doing melacha based on Chinuch. Even if he doesn't understand the positive essence of Shabbat as long as he can understand that certain things are forbidden for Jews they should be trained not to do it. Some say that this begins from age 2 or 3, some say 3 or 4, and some say 4 or 5.

Holidays

The Seder

1. The age a child should be kept up for the whole pesach seder is when he can fully understand the mitzvah and the story of Egypt. This of course varies depending on how the child matures, but for most it is between age 5-7.
2. A child should drink the four cups when he can understand, even just a little bit, the story of Egypt; he does not, however, need to drink the same amount as an adult but rather a child-size cheek full

Lulav

1. Children are chayav to perform the mitzvah of lulav when they are able to shake the lulav
2. The Turei Zahav says that a parent should buy his son his own set of lulav if he is able to do it, and the father has the financial means to do it.
3. if you are going to buy your child a lulav, it is preferable, if they are going to make a bracha on it, that it be kosher.
4. Although the lulav should be kosher, according to some, on the first day of Sukkot a child does not have to own his lulav like adults do. According to others, a child should also use a lulav that he owns. Therefore, the child should use the lulav after all adults have used the lulav, because a child can acquire a lulav from an adult, but cannot transfer it back to the adult’s ownership.
5. The child is not able to give back the lulav because he is unable to understand the practices of business enough to give back the lulav.
6. You can have your child use the non-kosher set of lulav but you do not fulfill the mitzvah of chinuch.

Fasting

1. There is a minhag for a boy to fast 3 fasts prior to his Bar Mitzvah.

Torah Study

1. The Torah study of pure children is very precious before Hashem and it provides spiritual protection to the whole world.

Chinuch Attitude

1. A life devoted to Hashem is the most pleasurable and fulfilling one. Therefore, the Chinuch stage must be pleasing and joyful for children. The proper attitude and approach for children to learn is through "Darchei No'am" (pleasant ways).
2. A parent and/or teacher should generally be careful not to be excessively forceful. There are several cases where Talmudic personalities praised their behavior of not being "makpid"(strict) in their home over their wives and children even though they lived a life filled with mitzvot
3. The gedolim have all agreed that hitting children in the name of chinuch is forbidden.

Teaching a Child to Swim

1. There is no technical obligation for a parent to teach his children how to swim.

Feeding a Child Something Forbidden

1. It is forbidden to feed a child something that is forbidden, whether it is forbidden from the Torah or rabbinically.
2. It is permitted to feed a baby milk an hour after they finished eating meat even though the minhag is to not to have milk after meat for several hours.
3. Many poskim are lenient even for Ashkenazim to feed a child who needs to eat kitniyot on Pesach for health reasons since it is only a minhag.
4. Putting a diaper on a baby on Shabbat that has a color strip which changes colors when the baby goes to the bathroom is permitted.
5. Feeding your child a cookie with letters on it on Shabbat is permitted.
6. In theory some permit allowing a child to do something that would otherwise be in violation of a prohibition in order to do a mitzvah. Some say that this is only permitted if the only way to perform the mitzvah would involve violating a prohibition. Others qualify this idea by limiting it to prohibitions that are implied from a positive mitzvah and not an outright mitzvah.