Prohibition to Lie: Difference between revisions

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==Origin==
==Origin==
# The posuk in the Torah says that one should further himself from lying. <ref> Parshas Shemos 23:7, see Rambam Hilchos De'os 5:7, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Mishnah Berurah O.C. 25:14, Mesilas Yesharim 11. Refer to Rambam Sefer Hamitzvahs Lo Sasei 281 who includes the issur of lying in the issur of saying Hashem's name in vain regarding bais din. Lying is disgusted in the eyes of all, and there is nothing more disgusting than lying. Hashem is truth, and beracha only goes on someone who wants to go in the ways of Hashem. Therefore, the Torah tells us to further ourselves from lying. Pela Yoetz Sheker page 558, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24 write that no other aveirah does the Torah use the words "to further" except for lying therefore one must be careful with this even when it would only appear to be a lie. The issur is not only not to say a lie but to further oneself from a lie (Niv Sefasayim page 10). </ref>
 
# The opinion of a few poskim is that this issur is talking about a person swearing in Bais Din,<ref>Ibn Ezra Shemot 23:7, see Orach Mesharim 9:footnote 1 in depth, Modanei [[Yom Tov]] 2:pages 463-464). Refer to Mesechtas Shavuos 30b. </ref> or if it might cause damage.<ref>Refer to Sefer Yeraim 235, Rambam Hilchos De’os 5:13, Derech Sicha 1:pages 306-307, 2:page 134. </ref> (According to this lying is permitted in many situations, see below), while most poskim<ref>Refer to Kovetz Bais Aron V’Yisroel 59:pages 70-75 in great depth. </ref> hold there is an issur even if the lying does not fall into the above categories.<ref>Refer to Semak 227, Shlah Shar Osios Shin, Chinuch ibid, Reishis Chuchma Shar Hakedusha 12:60, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 402:12, Aruch  L’ner Mesechtas Yevamos 65b “ko sumro,” Sefas Tamim 1:page 7, 6:page 24, Chofetz chaim pesicha asei 13, 1:1:1, Chazzon Ish Emunah and Betachon 4:13:page 55, Tzitz Eliezer 15:12:2, Niv Sefasayim pages 2-3, 2:pages 1-4. Refer to Michtav M’Eliyahu 1:pages 94-96 who explains what lying and truth are. </ref>
#The posuk in the Torah says that one should further himself from [[lying]]. <ref>Parshas Shemos 23:7, see Rambam Hilchos De'os 5:7, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Mishna Brurah O.C. 25:14, Mesilas Yesharim 11. Refer to Rambam Sefer Hamitzvot Lo Sasei 281 who includes the issur of [[lying]] in the issur of saying Hashem's name in vain regarding bais din. [[Lying]] is disgusted in the eyes of all, and there is nothing more disgusting than [[lying]]. Hashem is truth, and beracha only goes on someone who wants to go in the ways of Hashem. Therefore, the Torah tells us to further ourselves from [[lying]]. Pela Yoetz [[Sheker]] page 558, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24 write that no other aveirah does the Torah use the words "to further" except for [[lying]] therefore one must be careful with this even when it would only appear to be a lie. The issur is not only not to say a lie but to further oneself from a lie (Niv Sefasayim page 10). </ref>
#The opinion of a few poskim is that this issur is talking about a person swearing in Bais Din,<ref>Ibn Ezra Shemot 23:7, see Orach Mesharim 9:footnote 1 in depth, Modanei [[Yom Tov]] 2:pages 463-464). Refer to Mesechtas [[Shavuos]] 30b. </ref> or if it might cause damage.<ref>Refer to Sefer Yeraim 235, Rambam Hilchos De’os 5:13, Derech Sicha 1:pages 306-307, 2:page 134. </ref> (According to this [[lying]] is permitted in many situations, see below), while most poskim<ref>Refer to Kovetz Bais Aron V’Yisroel 59:pages 70-75 in great depth. </ref> hold there is an issur even if the [[lying]] does not fall into the above categories.<ref>Refer to Semak 227, Shlah Shar Osios Shin, [[Chinuch]] Mitzvah 74, Reishis Chuchma Shar Hakedusha 12:60, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 402:12, Aruch  L’ner Mesechtas Yevamos 65b “ko sumro,” Sefas Tamim 1:page 7, 6:page 24, Chofetz chaim pesicha asei 13, 1:1:1, Chazzon Ish Emunah and Betachon 4:13:page 55, Tzitz Eliezer 15:12:2, Niv Sefasayim pages 2-3, 2:pages 1-4. Refer to Michtav M’Eliyahu 1:pages 94-96 who explains what [[lying]] and truth are. </ref>


==Listening to a lie==
==Listening to a lie==
# One should not listen to a lie.<ref>Chinuch mitzvah 74, see Chinuch mitzvah 37, Chinuch mitzvah 74, Niv Sefasayim page 14. Refer to Minchas Elazar 3:18, Orach Mesharim 8:footnote 28, 11:6.</ref>
 
#One should not listen to a lie.<ref>[[Chinuch]] mitzvah 74, see [[Chinuch]] mitzvah 37, [[Chinuch]] mitzvah 74, Niv Sefasayim page 14. Refer to Minchas Elazar 3:18, Orach Mesharim 8:footnote 28, 11:6.</ref>
 
==As a joke==
==As a joke==
# One should not lie even if it is only for a joke.<ref>Mesilas Yesharim 11:page 80. </ref>
 
#One should not lie even if it is only for a joke.<ref>Mesilas Yesharim 11:page 80. </ref>
 
==To Prevent Sin==
 
#It is permissible to lie in order to prevent another Jew from transgressing a sin. For instance to a person who is lax in certain prohibitions that a certain rav ruled that it is forbidden even if the rav never did. <ref>Magen Avraham 156:2 and Sefer Midvar [[Sheker]] Tirchak page 61 quoting the Orach Meisharim. Gemara Shabbat 115a supports this. Yesod Yosef (ch. 46) understands the gemara Pesachim 112a to mean that it is forbidden and a serious sin.</ref>
 
==To encourage a mitzva==
 
#It is prohibited to call out large sums of money as a pledge during the appeal in a shul for an organization even though they have no intention of giving that money in order to encouarage other to give moves. <ref>minchat yitzchak 3:97 </ref>
 
==To Avoid Chilul Hashem==
 
#One is permitted to lie if it will to prevent a chilul Hashem, a desecration of Hashem's name. <ref>Mishpatei Hashalom 2: pg. 55 </ref>


==Children==
==Children==
# One should teach children that lying is not allowed and one should stand guard on this.<ref>Pela Yoetz Sheker page 559, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24, Niv Sefasayim pages 124-125. </ref> One should not tell a child that you will give him something and then not fulfill your words, because doing so is teaching the child to lie.<ref>Mesechtas Succah 44b, see Yirmiyah 9:4, Rambam, Hilchos Shavuos 12:8, Pela Yoetz Sheker ibid, Orach Mesharim 9:2, Chinuch Yisroel 1:pages 306-307, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24, Modanei [[Yom Tov]] 2:pages 467-468, V’eim Lumo Michshal 2:page 239:12. Emes Koneh pages 72-74 in great depth. </ref> One who hears his children talking loshon hara, lying etc has a mitzvah to stop them from doing so.<ref>Mishnah Berurah 443:3.  The Orchos Rabbeinu 1:page 252.:12 says to only tell children true stories. </ref> One should try to avoid pretending to eat food in order to make the child eat as well since this will teach the child that not doing the truth is allowed.<ref>Refer to Emes Koneh page 40:footnote 10. </ref>
# Many times one is learning with a child and he comes to a point where if he says the real peshat it will not be tzniusdik. The question is if one is allowed to veer from the real peshat? The opinion of the poskim is that one should say the real peshat and nothing will happen to the child by doing so.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 84 quoting the opinion of both Harav Elyashiv Shlita and Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l. </ref>


==How to Avoid Lying ==
#One should teach children that [[lying]] is not allowed and one should stand guard on this.<ref>Pela Yoetz [[Sheker]] page 559, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24, Niv Sefasayim pages 124-125. </ref> One should not tell a child that you will give him something and then not fulfill your words, because doing so is teaching the child to lie.<ref>Mesechtas Succah 44b, see Yirmiyah 9:4, Rambam, Hilchos [[Shavuos]] 12:8, Pele Yoetz [[Sheker]]pg. 559, Orach Mesharim 9:2, [[Chinuch]] Yisroel 1:pages 306-307, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24, Modanei [[Yom Tov]] 2:pages 467-468, V’eim Lumo Michshal 2:page 239:12. Emes Koneh pages 72-74 in great depth. </ref> One who hears his children talking loshon hara, [[lying]] etc has a mitzvah to stop them from doing so.<ref>Mishna Brurah 443:3.  The Orchos Rabbeinu 1:page 252.:12 says to only tell children true stories. </ref> One should try to avoid pretending to eat food in order to make the child eat as well since this will teach the child that not doing the truth is allowed.<ref>Refer to Emes Koneh page 40:footnote 10. </ref>
One should not cling to a liar, and one should be very careful with this since the yetzer hara is always trying to catch us.<ref>Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker. </ref> One who thinks of the word "Emes" and mentions it from his mouth many times will be prevented from saying a lie.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 15:10.</ref> When one talks a lot it brings sin,<ref>Mesechtas Avos 1:17.</ref> therefore, if one avoids chatter he will not come to sin or to lie.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 16:16. </ref> One should learn some Mussar, including the Orchos Tzadikim on the topic of sheker.<ref>Orchos Rabbeinu 1page 252:13. See Chazzon Ish Emunah and Bitachon 4:14:pages 57-58. </ref> One should not ask someone something that he knows will cause the person to lie.<ref>Pela Yoetz Sheker page 559. </ref>
#Many times one is learning with a child and he comes to a point where if he says the real peshat it will not be tzniusdik. The question is if one is allowed to veer from the real peshat? The opinion of the poskim is that one should say the real peshat and nothing will happen to the child by doing so.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 84 quoting the opinion of both Harav Elyashiv Shlita and Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l. </ref>
 
==How to Avoid Lying==
 
#One should not cling to a liar, and one should be very careful with this since the yetzer hara is always trying to catch us.<ref>Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker. </ref> One who thinks of the word "Emes" and mentions it from his mouth many times will be prevented from saying a lie.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 15:10.</ref> When one talks a lot it brings sin,<ref>Mesechtas Avos 1:17.</ref> therefore, if one avoids chatter he will not come to sin or to lie.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 16:16. </ref> One should learn some Mussar, including the Orchos Tzadikim on the topic of [[sheker]].<ref>Orchos Rabbeinu 1page 252:13. See Chazzon Ish Emunah and Bitachon 4:14:pages 57-58. </ref> One should not ask someone something that he knows will cause the person to lie.<ref>Pela Yoetz [[Sheker]] page 559. </ref>


==Business==
==Business==
# Many times people do not tell the truth in business and this is not correct.<ref>Pela Yoetz Sheker page 559, Sefas Tamim 2:page 11. </ref> When it says one is supposed to be trustworthy in his business dealings<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 156:1, see Kaf Ha’chaim 12-13.  </ref> it does not means that you should not steal because if you do that you are a wicked person. Rather it means that you should not say a lie,<ref>Refer to Gra Mishlei 17:7. </ref> you should talk nicely and not get angry….<ref>Aruch Ha’shulchan 156:3. </ref>


==Writing ==
#Many times people do not tell the truth in business and this is not correct.<ref>Pela Yoetz [[Sheker]] page 559, Sefas Tamim 2:page 11. </ref> When it says one is supposed to be trustworthy in his business dealings<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 156:1, see Kaf Ha’chaim 12-13.  </ref> it does not means that you should not steal because if you do that you are a wicked person. Rather it means that you should not say a lie,<ref>Refer to Gra Mishlei 17:7. </ref> you should talk nicely and not get angry….<ref>Aruch Ha’shulchan 156:3. </ref>
# One who wrote a lie has nonetheless transgressed the issur of not lying.<ref>Refer to Mesechtas Bava Basra Tosfas 94b “huchi,” Da’as Torah O.C. 156, Tzitz Eliezer 15:12:1. See Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 82-84, Even Yisroel 9:166:7.</ref>
 
==Writing==
 
#One who wrote a lie has nonetheless transgressed the issur of not [[lying]].<ref>Refer to Mesechtas Bava Basra Tosfas 94b “huchi,” Da’as Torah O.C. 156, Tzitz Eliezer 15:12:1. See Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 82-84, Even Yisroel 9:166:7.</ref>


==Actions==
==Actions==
# Even if one does not do any talking but from his actions it is obvious that he was saying a lie, then it is forbidden<ref>Refer to Mesechtas Shavuos 31a, Rashi “vkum.” </ref> (i.e. shaking his head to admit to something which is false).


==When it is permitted to lie? ==
#Even if one does not do any talking but from his actions it is obvious that he was saying a lie, then it is forbidden<ref>Refer to Mesechtas [[Shavuos]] 31a, Rashi “vkum.” </ref> (i.e. shaking his head to admit to something which is false).
# The Gemorah<ref>Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Magen Avraham 156:2, Pri Megadim Eishel Avraham 156, Mishnah Berurah 156:4, see Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 41-59 in great depth. Some say this is only permitted once a year (Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 59). The Divrei Torah 2:67 says this Gemorah is talking about three areas where joking is done, starting off learning with a joke, Purim, and Succos. </ref> says for three things one is permitted to lie.<ref>Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 48 if doing so is optional or a mitzvah. Refer to Ben Yehoyada Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b pages 70-70b who says these three things are said in a way which can be interrupted as the truth as well. The Machtzis Ha’shekel 156 says some say it is a mitzvah while others say one is allowed to lie in the above situations. </ref> 1. Lying regarding a mesechta 2. Lying regarding hilchos tznius. 3. Lying regarding a guest. There are different interpretations of what this means. Some say if a person asks you if you know a certain mesechtas one is allowed to say no since he is displaying humility.<ref>Rashi Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b “b’mesechtas.” Refer to Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 35-37. </ref> If one asks you if you used the bed, you can answer no because of tznius.<ref>Rashi ibid “b’purya.” Refer to Tosfas “b’purya” Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveidah 14:13 and Rashba who have a different explanation of this. Refer to Igros Moshe C.M. 2:61:3. See Ben Yehoyada on Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b for has a novel approach to what this question means. </ref> One may also avoid the truth for other middos as well.<ref>Niv Sefasayim page 58. </ref> Others say this means if one asks you on Purim if you know the difference between cursed Haman and boruch Mordechai you can say no.<ref>Maharsaha Chiddushei Agados Mesechtas Bava Metziah ibid “b’purya.” Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 52:26. See Moadim V’zemanim 6:109 who explains this opinion.  </ref> One who is asked if his host treated him with respect can say no, in order that the host does not receive many unwanted guests.<ref>Rashi Mesechtas Bava Metziah 24a “b’ushpiza,” Tosfas Mesechtas Bava Metziah “b’ushpiza” Nemukei Yosef. Refer to Rambam ibid, Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker. Shita M’keubetzes, Mieri Bav Metziah 23b. Some say this is all permitted because they are included in lying for peace (Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 43). The custom is always to say the food was good at a guest even if it was not, see Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 56:36. </ref> Others say when they ask someone a question on an inyun he can say he is learning a different inyun in order that they should not ask on the first inyun.<ref>Refer to Toras Chaim Mesechtas Bava Metziah ibid. </ref>
 
# In the permitted instances of lying this applies for an un-learned person as well.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 69 quoting the opinion of Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita, see Derech Sicha 1:pages 306-307.  </ref> Based on the above, one who is asked where he is holding in a certain mesechta can say the daf before the one where he is really holding if he does not know that current Gemorah, but does know the previous daf. The reason is since he may be embarrassed if he is asked the Gemorah that he does not know.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 175. </ref> It is important to point out the heter to lie about a certain mesechta is only if one is being asked in order to be tested, but if one is asked a din etc then one has to say the halacha.<ref>Tosfas Mesechtas Bava Metziah ibid, see Niv Sefasayim pages 51-52. </ref>
==When it is permitted to lie?==
# In any situation where it is permitted to lie it is proper to avoid doing so.<ref>Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker (end), Koneh Emes page 70:3. Ben Yehoyada Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b:page 70b writes that this is hinted to it the roshei teivos of the three above mentioned items. Ushpitza, Mesechtas, and Tashmish (tznius inyunim), in Hebrew spells Emes. </ref>
 
# A woman who is asked if she is pregnant may say she is not in order for people not to know her private business.<ref>Emes Koneh page 49:footnote 26, V’ein Lumo Michshal 2:psge 71.</ref>
#The Gemorah<ref>Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Magen Avraham 156:2, Pri Megadim Eishel Avraham 156, Mishna Brurah 156:4, see Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 41-59 in great depth. Some say this is only permitted once a year (Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 59). The Divrei Torah 2:67 says this Gemorah is talking about three areas where joking is done, starting off learning with a joke, [[Purim]], and Succos. </ref> says for three things one is permitted to lie.<ref>Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 48 if doing so is optional or a mitzvah. Refer to Ben Yehoyada Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b pages 70-70b who says these three things are said in a way which can be interrupted as the truth as well. The Machtzis Ha’shekel 156 says some say it is a mitzvah while others say one is allowed to lie in the above situations. </ref>  
# Based on the above, one is permitted to lie for humility, tznius and to avoid harm to one's friend.<ref>Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5, Torah She’bal Pe 21:page 90.</ref>
##[[Lying]] regarding a mesechta  
###If a person is fasting an individual fast for which he volunteered to fast, in order to preserve his humility it is permitted to lie in order to not to say one is fasting. However, it is also permitted to tell the truth as long as one's intent isn't to to publicize one's good deed. <ref>Magen Avraham 565:7 based on Gemara Ketubot 75b</ref>
##[[Lying]] regarding hilchos tznius.
##[[Lying]] regarding a guest. There are different interpretations of what this means. Some say if a person asks you if you know a certain mesechtas one is allowed to say no since he is displaying humility.<ref>Rashi Bava Metziah 23b s.v. b’mesechtas. Refer to Niv Sefasayim 2, pages 35-37. </ref> If one asks you if you used the bed, you can answer no because of tznius.<ref>Rashi 23b “b’purya.” Refer to Tosfas “b’purya” Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveidah 14:13 and Rashba who have a different explanation of this. Refer to Igros Moshe C.M. 2:61:3. See Ben Yehoyada on Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b for has a novel approach to what this question means. </ref> One may also avoid the truth for other middos as well.<ref>Niv Sefasayim page 58. </ref> Others say this means if one asks you on [[Purim]] if you know the difference between cursed Haman and boruch Mordechai you can say no.<ref>Maharsaha Chiddushei Agados Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b “b’purya.” Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 52:26. See Moadim V’zemanim 6:109 who explains this opinion.  </ref> One who is asked if his host treated him with respect can say no, in order that the host does not receive many unwanted guests.<ref>Rashi Mesechtas Bava Metziah 24a “b’ushpiza,” Tosfas Mesechtas Bava Metziah “b’ushpiza” Nemukei Yosef. Refer to Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveidah 14:13, Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker. Shita M’keubetzes, Mieri Bav Metziah 23b. Some say this is all permitted because they are included in [[lying]] for peace (Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 43). The custom is always to say the food was good at a guest even if it was not, see Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 56:36. </ref> Others say when they ask someone a question on an inyun he can say he is learning a different inyun in order that they should not ask on the first inyun.<ref>Refer to Toras Chaim Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b. </ref>
#In the permitted instances of [[lying]] this applies for an un-learned person as well.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 69 quoting the opinion of Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita, see Derech Sicha 1:pages 306-307.  </ref> Based on the above, one who is asked where he is holding in a certain mesechta can say the daf before the one where he is really holding if he does not know that current Gemorah, but does know the previous daf. The reason is since he may be embarrassed if he is asked the Gemorah that he does not know.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 175. </ref> It is important to point out the heter to lie about a certain mesechta is only if one is being asked in order to be tested, but if one is asked a din etc then one has to say the halacha.<ref>Tosfos Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b, see Niv Sefasayim pages 51-52. </ref>
#In any situation where it is permitted to lie it is proper to avoid doing so.<ref>Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker (end), Koneh Emes page 70:3. Ben Yehoyada Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b:page 70b writes that this is hinted to it the roshei teivos of the three above mentioned items. Ushpitza, Mesechtas, and Tashmish (tznius inyunim), in Hebrew spells Emes. </ref>
#Even in cases where it is permitted to do so, one should minimize the untruthfulness to only that which is absolutely necessary. Also, one should try to use wording that can be understood in two ways and avoid outright [[lying]]. <ref>Mishpitei Hashalom 2: pg. 57 </ref>
#Based on the above, one is permitted to lie for humility, tznius and to avoid harm to one's friend.<ref>Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5, Torah She’bal Pe 21:page 90.</ref>


==Lying For a Purpose==
==Lying For a Purpose==
# Aside from the above leniency, lying is permitted for a purpose in certain situations.<ref>Refer to Emes Koneh pages 33-34, Niv Sefasayim pages 42-43. </ref>


# One who is getting a ride from someone can say he is going to a close place even if he is not in order not to bother the driver.<ref>Emes Koneh page 50:footnote 31. Refer to Modanei Shlomo pages 150-151. </ref> So too one who sees his friend may miss his ride can say it is later than it is really in order to get the friend to make his ride.<ref>Opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l quoted in Chuko Mamtakim 1:page 49:footnote 21. </ref>
#Aside from the above leniency, [[lying]] is permitted for a purpose in certain situations.<ref>Refer to Emes Koneh pages 33-34, Niv Sefasayim pages 42-43. </ref>
# There is a discussion in the poskim if one is allowed to go collecting for a poor talmid chachum and say it is for hachnoses kallah because then the givers will give more money. <ref>Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 71-73, Shevet Ha’Levi 2:119. One who is collecting for a poor chosson can say he is collecting for hachnoses kallah even if the kallah is not lacking money (opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 76). </ref> When this question arises one should consult with his Rav.
#One who is getting a ride from someone can say he is going to a close place even if he is not in order not to bother the driver.<ref>Emes Koneh page 50:footnote 31. Refer to Modanei Shlomo pages 150-151. </ref> So too one who sees his friend may miss his ride can say it is later than it is really in order to get the friend to make his ride.<ref>Opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l quoted in Chuko Mamtakim 1:page 49:footnote 21. </ref>
# During an appeal one is not allowed to announce a larger donation than he is planning to give, even if the point is for others to give more money.<ref>Minchas Yitzchok 3:97:1. </ref>
#There is a discussion in the poskim if one is allowed to go collecting for a poor talmid chachum and say it is for hachnoses kallah because then the givers will give more money. <ref>Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 71-73, Shevet Ha’Levi 2:119. One who is collecting for a poor chosson can say he is collecting for hachnoses kallah even if the kallah is not lacking money (opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 76). </ref> When this question arises one should consult with his Rav.
# One who is shipping fragile objects such as matzah can write the word "glass" on the box in order that it should be dealt with properly.<ref>Opinions of Harav Elyashiv Shlita, Harav Fisher zt”l and Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 91-92. Refer to Teshuvos V’hanhugos 2:523 how this applies to shipping a sefer Torah. </ref>
#During an appeal one is not allowed to announce a larger donation than he is planning to give, even if the point is for others to give more money.<ref>Minchas Yitzchok 3:97:1. </ref>
#One who is shipping fragile objects such as [[matzah]] can write the word "glass" on the box in order that it should be dealt with properly. <ref>Opinions of Harav Elyashiv Shlita, Harav Fisher zt”l and Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 91-92. Mishpatei Hashalom 2: page 41 agrees but says it would be preferable to simply write fragile if that would suffice. Refer to Teshuvos V’hanhugos 2:523 how this applies to shipping a sefer Torah. </ref>
 
===For peace===
===For peace===
# One is allowed to lie for the sake of peace.<ref>Mesechtas Yevamos 65b, Bava Metziah 87a, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveida ibid, Semak 227, Teshuvos Rama 11, Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker, Rabbeinu Yonah Sharei Teshuva 3:181, Lev Chaim 1:5, Mishnah Berurah 156:4, Chofetz Chaim chelek 2:1:8, Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 23-24, Derech Sicha 1:page 307. Some say it is only permitted if one is not hurting the other party by lying (Rabbeinu Yonah in Sharei Teshuva 3:181). Others say it is a mitzvah to lie for peace (Refer to Mesechtas Yevamos ibid, Ran Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b, Niv Sefasayim 2:page 23, Modanei [[Yom Tov]] 2:pages 465-466). Some say lying for peace is only permitted if one will not make a different person lose out and he does not do it because he loves to lie (Refer to Niv Sefasayim pages 35-36). </ref> A proof to this is the fact that Hashem told Avraham a different story than actually took place between Hashem and Sarah.<ref>Refer to Bereishis 18:13. 21:7, see Bereishis 50:16, Rashi “avicha,” Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 250-251 who explains the last source. </ref> Based on this one is allowed to lie to bring peace between husband and wife. <ref>Reishis Chuchma Shar Hakedusha 12:61.</ref>
# There is a discussion in the seforim if one is allowed to say a real lie for the sake of peace, or only to say something which can be interpreted as the truth as well.<ref>Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 92-93 who brings the opinions. See Chofetz Chaim chelek 2:1:8,  Niv Sefasayim page 33.  </ref>
# There are poskim that are of the opinion that lying is only permitted for the sake of peace on something which already happened, but for an occurrence which did not yet happen one is not permitted to lie even if it is for peace.<ref>Refer to Sefer Chassidim 426, Magen Avrham O.C. 156:1, Shulchan Aruch Harav 2,  Elya Rabbah 156:2, Da’as Torah 156, Mishnah Berurah 156:4, Lev Chaim 1:5, see Rav Polaim C.M. 3:1. Many seem to question this premise (Refer to Emes Koneh page 76 in depth). </ref> However, the custom is to be lenient.<ref>Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5, Emes Koneh ibid, Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 17-22 in great depth. Refer to Chasam Sofer Lekutim 6:59, Cheshav Ha’efod 1:59. </ref>
# One should not be accustomed to lie for peace.<ref>Yam Shel Shlomo Mesechtas Yevomos 65b, Yad Eliyahu 62, see Niv Sefasayim pages 28-29. Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5. </ref>
# One is permitted to say the food is good even if it is not to prevent the host from cooking a different food if you told the truth about the food.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 104. </ref>
# If children are fighting, and lying will bring peace between them it is permitted to do so.<ref>Opinions of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l and Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 85, Niv Sefasayim opage 26. </ref>
# It is important to point out that when it is permitted to lie for peace one should not take it lightly and think that all cases are permitted one should really think if peace will be avoided by telling the truth.<ref>Refer to Niv Sefasayim page 26. See Torah L’shma 364:page 255 who says lying for peace is permitted if otherwise destruction would come about. </ref>


# One is permitted to tell friend he has no money to lend if he knows his friend will not pay back.<ref>Refer to Pischei Choshen Halvah 1:footnote 13:page 3. </ref> In addition, one can say to a collector I do not have money if he really does have since he means he does not have money for this collector.<ref>Derech Sicha 1:page 308, 2:page 140, V’ein Lumo Michshal 2:page 241:footnote *. </ref>
#One is allowed to lie for the sake of peace.<ref>Mesechtas Yevamos 65b, Bava Metziah 87a, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveida 14:13, Semak 227, Teshuvos Rama 11, Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker, Rabbeinu Yonah Sharei Teshuva 3:181, Lev Chaim 1:5, Mishna Brurah 156:4, Chofetz Chaim chelek 2:1:8, Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 23-24, Derech Sicha 1:page 307. Some say it is only permitted if one is not hurting the other party by [[lying]] (Rabbeinu Yonah in Sharei Teshuva 3:181). Others say it is a mitzvah to lie for peace (Refer to Masechet Yevamos 65b, Ran Masechet Bava Metziah 23b, Niv Sefasayim 2:page 23, Modanei [[Yom Tov]] 2:pages 465-466). Some say [[lying]] for peace is only permitted if one will not make a different person lose out and he does not do it because he loves to lie (Refer to Niv Sefasayim pages 35-36). </ref> A proof to this is the fact that Hashem told Avraham a different story than actually took place between Hashem and Sarah.<ref>Refer to Bereishis 18:13. 21:7, see Bereishis 50:16, Rashi “avicha,” Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 250-251 who explains the last source. </ref> Based on this one is allowed to lie to bring peace between husband and wife. <ref>Reishis Chuchma Shar Hakedusha 12:61.</ref>
# One who is asked if he has a cigarette and he does not want to give one for whatever reason can say he does not have. The intention is that although he has but for this person he does not have.<ref>Opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 184, and in Chuko Mamtakim 1:page 49.  </ref>
#There is a discussion in the seforim if one is allowed to say a real lie for the sake of peace, or only to say something which can be interpreted as the truth as well.<ref>Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 92-93 who brings the opinions. See Chofetz Chaim chelek 2:1:8,  Niv Sefasayim page 33.  </ref>
# When a woman goes to the mikvah it is not proper that anyone other than her husband know.<ref>Rama Y.D. 198:48. </ref> Therefore if a woman is asked where she is going and she is going to the mikvah she may say she is going to this and this place.<ref>Shevet Ha’kehusi 1:377, Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 181-182. </ref>
#There are poskim that are of the opinion that [[lying]] is only permitted for the sake of peace on something which already happened, but for an occurrence which did not yet happen one is not permitted to lie even if it is for peace.<ref>Refer to Sefer Chassidim 426, Magen Avrham O.C. 156:1, Shulchan Aruch Harav 2,  Elya Rabbah 156:2, Da’as Torah 156, Mishna Brurah 156:4, Lev Chaim 1:5, see Rav Pealim C.M. 3:1. Many seem to question this premise (Refer to Emes Koneh page 76 in depth). </ref> However, the custom is to be lenient.<ref>Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5, Emes Koneh pg. 76, Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 17-22 in great depth. Refer to Chasam Sofer Lekutim 6:59, Cheshav Ha’efod 1:59. </ref>
#One should not be accustomed to lie for peace.<ref>Yam Shel Shlomo Mesechtas Yevomos 65b, Yad Eliyahu 62, see Niv Sefasayim pages 28-29. Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5. </ref>
#One is permitted to say the food is good even if it is not to prevent the host from [[cooking]] a different food if you told the truth about the food.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 104. </ref>
#If children are fighting, and [[lying]] will bring peace between them it is permitted to do so.<ref>Opinions of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l and Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 85, Niv Sefasayim opage 26. </ref>
#It is important to point out that when it is permitted to lie for peace one should not take it lightly and think that all cases are permitted one should really think if peace will be avoided by telling the truth.<ref>Refer to Niv Sefasayim page 26. See Torah L’shma 364:page 255 who says [[lying]] for peace is permitted if otherwise destruction would come about. </ref>
#One is permitted to tell friend he has no money to lend if he knows his friend will not pay back.<ref>Refer to Pischei Choshen Halvah 1:footnote 13:page 3. </ref> In addition, one can say to a collector I do not have money if he really does have since he means he does not have money for this collector.<ref>Derech Sicha 1:page 308, 2:page 140, V’ein Lumo Michshal 2:page 241:footnote *. </ref>
#One who is asked if he has a cigarette and he does not want to give one for whatever reason can say he does not have. The intention is that although he has but for this person he does not have.<ref>Opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 184, and in Chuko Mamtakim 1:page 49.  </ref>
#When a woman goes to the mikvah it is not proper that anyone other than her husband know.<ref>Rama Y.D. 198:48. </ref> Therefore if a woman is asked where she is going and she is going to the mikvah she may say she is going to this and this place.<ref>Shevet Ha’kehusi 1:377, Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 181-182. </ref>
#There is an opinion in the poskim who says if one is sleeping and someone wants to reach him, it can be said he is not home. The reason is because when one sleeps it is as if he is not present in the house.<ref>Shevet Ha’kehusi 3:326:page 279. The author of the Melamed L’hoel would go to sleep in the afternoon and tell his wife to tell people he is preparing for a shiur. It is permitted because through sleeping he was able to say the shiur with more clarity. Therefore, his sleeping was in a sense preparing for the shiur (Titen Emes L’Yaakov:page 108). </ref>


# There is an opinion in the poskim who says if one is sleeping and someone wants to reach him, it can be said he is not home. The reason is because when one sleeps it is as if he is not present in the house.<ref>Shevet Ha’kehusi 3:326:page 279. The author of the Melamed L’hoel would go to sleep in the afternoon and tell his wife to tell people he is preparing for a shiur. It is permitted because through sleeping he was able to say the shiur with more clarity. Therefore, his sleeping was in a sense preparing for the shiur (Titen Emes L’Yaakov:page 108). </ref>
==For Privacy==
 
#A woman who is asked if she is pregnant may say she is not in order for people not to know her private business.<ref>Emes Koneh page 49:footnote 26, V’ein Lumo Michshal 2:page 71, Mishpitei Hashalom 2 pg. 55</ref>


==Avoiding Embarrassment==
==Avoiding Embarrassment==
# One is permitted to lie in order for one's friend to avoid being embarrassed.<ref>Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveidah 14:13, Lev Chaim 1:5, Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 97-99. Refer to Shevet Ha’Levi 5:2.  Refer to Mesechtas Berochos 43b, Rashi “v’lo hiy,” Mesechtas Eruvin 53b, Sanhedrin 11a,  Menochos 67b, Rashi Mesechtas Avodah Zarah 58a “dumi,” Tosfas ibid “ikloah,”  Da’as Torah 156. </ref>
 
# Based on the above, if a bochur who went on a date is asked where were you last night he does not have to say the truth if he is embarrassed.<ref>Opinion of Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 102. </ref> You can also say I had to take care of something.
#One is permitted to lie in order for one's friend to avoid being embarrassed.<ref>Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveidah 14:13, Lev Chaim 1:5, Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 97-99. Refer to Shevet Ha’Levi 5:2.  Refer to Masechet Berochos 43b, Rashi “v’lo hiy,” Masechet Eruvin 53b, Sanhedrin 11a,  Menochos 67b, Rashi Mesechet Avodah Zarah 58a “dumi,” Tosfos Avodah Zarah 58a “ikloah,”  Da’as Torah 156. </ref>
# If a woman miscarried and now gave birht to a boy one does not have to say the truth if he is asked will there be a pidyon haben? However, he can say she is a bas Kohen, or Levi in which case there is no pidyon haben.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 102. </ref>
#Similarly, it is sometimes permitted to lie to avoid personal embarrassment.<ref>The Gemara has numerous stories in which there is some white lie to protect being embarrassed.
# One who is doing kiruv may say he did the sin as well in order to lessen the embarrassment of his students.<ref>Emes Koneh page 39:footnote 9. </ref>
 
# Many ba'alei teshuva who are asked what they did in their youth lie about it and this is permitted since it is embarrassing to them.<ref>Emes Koneh page 43:footnote 16, see Igros Moshe E.H. 4:47. </ref>
#The Gemara Yevamot 77a states that if a rabbi says a halachic testimony before an occurrence happened it is accepted but if he says it afterwards then it isn't accepted. Tosfot s.v. im explains that we don't accept the testimony if he is personally involved and stands to benefit.
# One who is not up to par and does not want others to know about it may say he is doing fine when asked how he is felling.<ref>Emes Koneh page 43:footnote 16. </ref>
#The Gemara Brachot 43b relates a story in which Rav Papa fabricated a testimony from Rava to substantiate his actions so that he wouldn't be embarrassed with what he did incorrectly (Rashi s.v. velo). Magen Giborim 216:5 offers an nuanced interpretation in which Rav Papa didn't make up any testimony. [https://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/897195/rabbi-hershel-schachter/berachos-86-43b-44b-lying-to-cover-up-mistakes-talking-to-women-in-public-late-to-shul-tuna-fish-kashrus-al-haetz-al-ha-adamah-making-up-brachos/ Rav Schachter (Brachot Shiur 86 min 4)] said that it is scandalous to learn the gemara like Rashi that a rabbi can sometimes lie to save embarrassment and that's why some rishonim disagree. On that Gemara Brachot the Gilyon Hashas points out a Gemara Yerushalmi Nazir 7:1 33b which relates a story in which a student Gavila made up a testimony of what his teacher Rav Acha said and when it was found out that he mistakenly extrapolated and misquoted his teacher, Rav Acha flogged him. That certainly indicates that it is a serious offense to misquote someone. So why was Rav Papa permitted to do what he did?
#Also, the Gemara Chullin 111b has a story in which Shmuel seems to have fabricated a story about Rav to convince Rabbi Elazar of his opinion and later Rav denies it. The Maharalbach (Chief Rabbi of Yerushalayim from 1525 until 1545) responsa 121 was very troubled by this gemara and that explained that Shmuel didn't actually make up a story and he was just misunderstood or that he did but he just meant that he was sure that the story could have happened so he said it as though it happened. See Ketav Sofer YD 77 was similarly bothered.
#Also, the Gemara Avoda Zara 58a records a story in which Rava altered what he actually said originally to saved being embarrassed by his original mistaken ruling.
##(Also, Eruvin 51a tells a story in which Rav Yosef made up a statement of Rabbi Yosi to support his point, however, there he knew he was right and no one argued with him, and he just said quoted someone great so that Rabba would listen to him. See Yabia Omer CM 2:3 who cites the Rama Mpano 5 who strongly disagrees with Rashi to explain this story differently for this reason.
##The same is true of Gemara Shabbat 115a in which Rabba made up a statement of Rabbi Yochanan so that people would listen to him.
##See Nazir 59b in which Rabbi Yehoshua asked a question to Ben Zoma based on unsubstantiated assumptions in order to gain clarity of the subject. The gemara explains that he did so to teach everyone that a person shouldn't be embarrassed to ask questions.)
 
*The [http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=42573&st=&pgnum=552 Maharalbach (Kuntres Hasemicha 279a)] infers from the Gemara's that a rabbi can sometimes lie to avoid being embarrassed and denigrating the respect of Torah. He says that specifically when a person did an action and is publicly embarrassed is there a concern of him lying but if he just said something privately we're not concerned.
 
#Gemara Zevachim 94a records a story in which Rava made a public ruling and after realizing his mistake made another public announcement and declared publicly what I previously stated was incorrect.
#The Gemara Zevachim 101a explains that in the argument between Aharon and Moshe, Moshe's conclusion (Vayikra 10:20) wasn't merely to say that Aharon was right but that he was very humble and admitted that he hear from Hashem what Aharon said and he forgot.
</ref> If a bochur who went on a date is asked where were you last night he does not have to say the truth if he is embarrassed.<ref>Opinion of Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 102. </ref> You can also say I had to take care of something.
#If a woman miscarried and now gave birth to a boy one does not have to say the truth if he is asked will there be a [[pidyon haben]]? However, he can say she is a bas Kohen, or Levi in which case there is no [[pidyon haben]]. <ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 102. </ref>
#One who is doing kiruv may say he did the sin as well in order to lessen the embarrassment of his students.<ref>Emes Koneh page 39:footnote 9. </ref>
#Many ba'alei [[teshuva]] who are asked what they did in their youth lie about it and this is permitted since it is embarrassing to them.<ref>Emes Koneh page 43:footnote 16, see Igros Moshe E.H. 4:47. </ref>
#One who is not up to par and does not want others to know about it may say he is doing fine when asked how he is feeling.<ref>Emes Koneh page 43:footnote 16. </ref>


==Collector at Door==
==Collector at Door==


# It is a very common occurrence for a collector to knock on the door and wish to speak with the ba'al habayis to receive money. Many times the parent will tell the child tell the person I am not home. Is this permitted according to the halacha? (against lying)? The poskim say that telling the person the ba'al habayis is not home is permitted because of shalom. It is not the business of the collector to know what is going on in the house. If he tells him he does not want to see him now it will make the collector angry, therefore lying is permitted.<ref>Opinions of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l and Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 107. Others argue with this (opinion of Harav Wonser Shlita ibid:page 108). </ref> In any case one should not tell a child to say one is not home because it is not good chinuch.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 108. </ref>
#It is a very common occurrence for a collector to knock on the door and wish to speak with the ba'al habayis to receive money. Many times the parent will tell the child tell the person I am not home. Is this permitted according to the halacha? (against [[lying]])? The poskim say that telling the person the ba'al habayis is not home is permitted because of shalom. It is not the business of the collector to know what is going on in the house. If he tells him he does not want to see him now it will make the collector angry, therefore [[lying]] is permitted.<ref>Opinions of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l and Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 107. Others argue with this (opinion of Harav Wonser Shlita Titen Emes L’Yaakov:page 108). </ref> In any case one should not tell a child to say one is not home because it is not good [[chinuch]].<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 108. </ref>
 
==Revealing Secrets==


==Revealing Secrets ==
#It is very common for a person holding in a shidduch and is about to get engaged, to tell his friend not to say anything about it to other people. If he is asked by someone else if it is true, that so and so is getting engaged can one lie? The poskim are of the opinion that he may not tell and he should say I do not know.<ref>Opinions of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l and Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 108. </ref>
# It is very common for a person holding in a shidduch and is about to get engaged, to tell his friend not to say anything about it to other people. If he is asked by someone else if it is true, that so and so is getting engaged can one lie? The poskim are of the opinion that he may not tell and he should say I do not know.<ref>Opinions of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l and Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 108. </ref>


==Parents==
==Parents==
# If one's father asks you who told you to do this and this and if you say your mother it will make your father upset you can lie and say someone else told you.<ref>Sefer Chassidim 336:pages 254-255. </ref>
 
#If one's father asks you who told you to do this and this and if you say your mother it will make your father upset you can lie and say someone else told you.<ref>Sefer Chassidim 336:pages 254-255. </ref>


==Wealth==
==Wealth==
# One who is asked is it true that you have a lot of money? can say no, if he is concerned of ayin hara and does not want other people to become jealous.<ref>Opinion of Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 111. Refer to ibid where he brings proof to this. </ref>
 
#One who is asked if it is true that he has a lot of money can say no if he is concerned of ayin hara and does not want other people to become jealous.<ref>Mishpitei Hashalom 2: pg. 55, Opinion of Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 111. Refer to there where he brings proof to this. </ref>


==Candle Lighting==
==Candle Lighting==
# If a woman asks her husband how much time is left until Shabbos? he may say there is less time remaining until Shabbos so that she will be ready early. However, this is only when a woman is running late because she is lazy.  If it will casue her pain it should not be done.<ref>Opinion of Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 125. </ref>
 
#If a woman asks her husband how much time is left until [[Shabbos]]? he may say there is less time remaining until [[Shabbos]] so that she will be ready early. However, this is only when a woman is running late because she is lazy.  If it will casue her pain it should not be done.<ref>Opinion of Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 125. </ref>


==Broke a Utensil==
==Broke a Utensil==
# If a utensil broke and blaming it on a child<ref>Refer to Rashi Sefer Bereishis 30:23.</ref> (who does not understand, since otherwise it would not be good chinuch to lie) would make peace of the situation, then doing so is permitted.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 125. </ref>.
 
#If a utensil broke and blaming it on a child<ref>Refer to Rashi Sefer Bereishis 30:23.</ref> (who does not understand, since otherwise it would not be good [[chinuch]] to lie) would make peace of the situation, then doing so is permitted.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 125. </ref>.


==Refraining from Issur==
==Refraining from Issur==
# In order to prevent someone from doing an issur one is allowed to say a name of an odom gadol (that he will listen to) who said it is ossur, even if the odom gadol did not say it.<ref>Refer to Rashi Mesechtas Pesachim 112a “hitla,” Orach Mesharim 9:6. </ref> The same is true to lie in order to avoid eating something which is ossur, i.e. to say you are fasting.<ref>Kaf Ha’chaim 565:36. </ref>


==Kallah ==
#In order to prevent someone from doing an issur one is allowed to say a name of an odom gadol (that he will listen to) who said it is ossur, even if the odom gadol did not say it.<ref>Refer to Rashi Mesechtas Pesachim 112a “hitla,” Orach Mesharim 9:6. </ref> The same is true to lie in order to avoid eating something which is ossur, i.e. to say you are fasting.<ref>Kaf Ha’chaim 565:36. </ref>
# There is a dispute if one is supposed to say to the chosson the kallah looks nice even if she does not.<ref>Mesechtas Kesubos 17a, Semak 227, Rabbeinu Yona Sharei Teshuva 3:181, Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker, see Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 175-176 who explains the dispute see ibid :page 100-101. Also see Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 4-9 in great depth, and Torah She’bal Pe 21:pages 92-94. Refer to Ben Yehoyada in Mesechtas Kesubos 16:page 67 and Yismach Lev 1:page 170. </ref> L'maseh, one is permitted to say a kallah looks beautiful even if she does not.  The reason is in order that her chosson should love her.<ref>Mesechtas Kesubos 17a. See Tosfas “kallah,” Rashba, Shita Mekubetzes, Shulchan Aruch E.H. 65:1, Chasam Sofer Mesechtas Kesubos ibid.</ref> Some say this is based on the heter to lie because of peace.<ref>Ritvah Mesechtas Kesubos ibid. Refer to Maharsha Mesechtas Kesubos 16b “ketzad.” </ref> Others say because even if one says she is beautiful when she is not it can be going on her actions.<ref>Bais Shbmuel E.H. 65:2, Prisha 1, Aruch Ha’shulchan 65:1. See Shevet Ha’Levi 5:2. </ref> The same is true for one whose child is not pretty; he may say he is beautiful.<ref>Emes Koneh page 37:footnote 5, Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 224 quoting the opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l. </ref>
 
==Kallah==
 
#There is a dispute if one is supposed to say to the chosson the kallah looks nice even if she does not.<ref>Masechet Kesubos 17a, Semak 227, Rabbeinu Yona Sharei Teshuva 3:181, Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker, see Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 175-176 who explains the dispute see also page 100-101. Also see Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 4-9 in great depth, and Torah She’bal Pe 21:pages 92-94. Refer to Ben Yehoyada in Mesechtas Kesubos 16:page 67 and Yismach Lev 1:page 170. </ref> L'maseh, one is permitted to say a kallah looks beautiful even if she does not.  The reason is in order that her chosson should love her.<ref>Mesechtas Kesubos 17a. See Tosfas “kallah,” Rashba, Shita Mekubetzes, Shulchan Aruch E.H. 65:1, Chasam Sofer Mesechet Kesubos 17a </ref> Some say this is based on the heter to lie because of peace.<ref>Ritvah Masechet Kesubos 17a Refer to Maharsha Mesechtas Kesubos 16b “ketzad.” </ref> Others say because even if one says she is beautiful when she is not it can be going on her actions.<ref>Bais Shbmuel E.H. 65:2, Prisha 1, Aruch Ha’shulchan 65:1. See Shevet Ha’Levi 5:2. </ref> The same is true for one whose child is not pretty; he may say he is beautiful.<ref>Emes Koneh page 37:footnote 5, Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 224 quoting the opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l. </ref>


==A Bought Item==
==A Bought Item==
One may tell a person the object he bought is nice (if he was asked) even if it is not nice.<ref>Mesechtas Kesubos 17a. </ref> The reason is because one is supposed to be well liked among the world.<ref>Mesechtas Kesubos ibid, Chofetz Chaim chelek 2:9:12:2, Be’er Mayim Chaim 34. Refer to Shita Mekubetzes Mesechtas Kesubos ibid. </ref>
One may tell a person the object he bought is nice (if he was asked) even if it is not nice.<ref>Masechet Kesubos 17a. </ref> The reason is because one is supposed to be well liked among the world.<ref>Masechet Kesubos 17a, Chofetz Chaim chelek 2:9:12:2, Be’er Mayim Chaim 34. Refer to Shita Mekubetzes Masechet Kesubos 17a. </ref>


==Learning==
==Learning==
# A rebbe who sees a student who is not learning, can tell him "you have the ability to learn better" even if the rebbe knows he does not, if it is done in order for the student to be more learned.<ref>Niv Sefasayim page 48. </ref>
 
#A rebbe who sees a student who is not learning, the rebbe can tell him "you have the ability to learn better" even if the rebbe knows he does not, if it is done in order for the student to be more learned.<ref>Niv Sefasayim page 48. </ref>


==Cheering Up Someone==
==Cheering Up Someone==
# One may lie to someone who is broken hearted if doing so will cheer him up.<ref>Emes Koneh page 37:5. </ref> For example, if one is in pain because he has no money one can say to his friend I do not either have money even if he really does.<ref>Niv Sefasayim page 73. </ref>


==Calling Someone Son or Brother ==
#One may lie to someone who is broken hearted if doing so will cheer him up.<ref>Emes Koneh page 37:5. </ref> For example, if one is in pain because he has no money one can say to his friend I do not have money either even if he really does.<ref>Niv Sefasayim page 73. </ref>
# One is allowed to call someone his son or bother even if he is not his son or brother. The reason is because even one's students are his sons and all Jews are brothers.<ref>Orach Mesharim 9:10:footnote 12, Niv Sefasayim page 121. </ref>
 
==Calling Someone Son or Brother==
 
#One is allowed to call someone his son or brother even if he is not his son or brother. The reason is because even one's students are his sons and all Jews are brothers.<ref>Orach Mesharim 9:10:footnote 12, Niv Sefasayim page 121. </ref>


==Calling One's Son-in-Law a Son etc.==
==Calling One's Son-in-Law a Son etc.==
# It is very common after a couple gets married for the new father-in-law to call the son-in-law a son or daughter. This is not considered a lie because a son-in-law or daughter-in-law is really like ones own child.<ref>Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 143, Niv Sefasayim page 121, Rashi Sefer Bereishi 37:35 “v’kol,” Rashi in Mesechtas Shabbos 23b “nufek.” </ref> The same is true for the son-in-law to call his in-law by Ma or Ta.<ref>Niv Sefasayim page 121. </ref> Nonetheless, one should not do this in front of his parents.
 
#It is very common after a couple gets married for the new father-in-law to call the son-in-law a son or daughter. This is not considered a lie because a son-in-law or daughter-in-law is really like one's own child.<ref>Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 143, Niv Sefasayim page 121, Rashi Sefer Bereishi 37:35 “v’kol,” Rashi in Mesechtas [[Shabbos]] 23b “nufek.” </ref> The same is true for the son-in-law to call his in-law by Ma or Ta.<ref>Niv Sefasayim page 121. </ref> Nonetheless, one should not do this in front of his parents.


==Exaggerating==
==Exaggerating==
# One is permitted to exaggerate and it is not considered lying, since one is not making his friend make a mistake because of it, and we do find some places<ref>Refer to Mesechtas Eruvin 2b, Mesechtas Beitzah 4a.</ref> that the Gemorah says exaggerating was done.<ref>Orach Mesharim 9:11:footnote 13, Opinion of Harav shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 174, Opinion of Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 173-174 (only if it is obvious that one is exaggerating). Refer to Mesechtas Eruvin 2b, Mesechtas Beitzah 4a, Mesechtas Chullin 90b, Rashi “guzma,” Rama Y.D. 236:5, Taz 10.  </ref>
 
# Someone who is asked how much something was can say it was $2000 when in reality it was $1533 since it is close to $2000.<ref>Refer to Mesechtas Kiddushin 12a, Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 178. </ref>
#One is permitted to exaggerate and it is not considered [[lying]], since one is not making his friend make a mistake because of it, and we do find some places<ref>Refer to Mesechtas Eruvin 2b, Mesechtas Beitzah 4a.</ref> that the Gemorah says exaggerating was done.<ref>Orach Mesharim 9:11:footnote 13, Opinion of Harav shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 174, Opinion of Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 173-174 (only if it is obvious that one is exaggerating). Refer to Mesechtas Eruvin 2b, Mesechtas Beitzah 4a, Mesechtas Chullin 90b, Rashi “guzma,” Rama Y.D. 236:5, Taz 10.  </ref>
# Based on this one would be permitted lie to make other people happy if no one is getting fooled because of it.<ref>Emes Koneh page 17:9, Niv Sefasayim page 130. </ref>
#Someone who is asked how much something was can say it was $2000 when in reality it was $1533 since it is close to $2000.<ref>Refer to Mesechtas Kiddushin 12a, Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 178. </ref>
# In addition, one who is asked the time can say it is 1:00pm even if it is 12:58pm.<ref>Refer to Emes Koneh page 83:footnote 3, Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 223. </ref>
#Based on this one would be permitted lie to make other people happy if no one is getting fooled because of it.<ref>Emes Koneh page 17:9, Niv Sefasayim page 130. </ref>
# Writing on an invitation the chupah will be at 7:30pm even though it will not be until 8:30pm is not a lie since all know that these events do not start on time.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 261-262. So too other areas which are known that people exaggerate (Sheilas Rav page 43:5). Bediuk (written on inviations) stands for “Bis  Da Yiddin Velien Kimmon” As long as the Yiddin will come (Harav Yisroel Belsky Shlita). </ref>
#In addition, one who is asked the time can say it is 1:00pm even if it is 12:58pm.<ref>Refer to Emes Koneh page 83:footnote 3, Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 223. </ref>
#Writing on an invitation the chupah will be at 7:30pm even though it will not be until 8:30pm is not a lie since all know that these events do not start on time.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 261-262. So too other areas which are known that people exaggerate (Sheilas Rav page 43:5). Bediuk (written on invitations) stands for “Bis  Da Yiddin Velien Kimmon” As long as the Yiddin will come (Harav Yisroel Belsky Shlita). </ref>


==Eulogy==
==Eulogy==
# Many times one can find himself at a levaya r"l and the speaker is saying middos etc which all present know the deceased did not have, is this permitted or considered lying? The poskim say doing so is permitted as long as one does not go overboard with attributes that were non-existent.<ref>Tur Y.D. 344, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 344:1. Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 126-131 in great depth. Refer to Chuko Mamtakim 1:page 47. </ref> The Taz<ref>Y.D. 344:2. Some say based on this is if one is asked about a boy who is a masmid for a shidduch if he is a masmid, you can say he is and he learns this many hours even if he does not, since if he was able to he would learn that many hours (Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 130.</ref> explains it is permitted because if the deceased would have had the opportunity to do the chessed to the next level he would have done so, so we say it about him even if he did not do it. Others explain that although we saw or knew the deceased did a certain action we add to it because who really knows how much he did and chances are he did more than we know of.<ref>Aruch Ha’shulchan Y.D. 344:6. </ref>
 
#Many times one can find himself at a levaya r"l and the speaker is saying middos etc. which all present know the deceased did not have, is this permitted or considered [[lying]]? The poskim say doing so is permitted as long as one does not go overboard with attributes that were non-existent.<ref>Tur Y.D. 344, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 344:1. Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 126-131 in great depth. Refer to Chuko Mamtakim 1:page 47. The Taz Y.D. 344:2 explains it is permitted because if the deceased would have had the opportunity to do the chessed to the next level he would have done so, so we say it about him even if he did not do it. </ref>
 
Some say based on this is if one is asked about a boy who is a masmid for a shidduch if he is a masmid, you can say he is and he learns this many hours even if he does not, since if he was able to he would learn that many hours <ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 130. </ref> Others explain that although we saw or knew the deceased did a certain action we add to it because who really knows how much he did and chances are he did more than we know of.<ref>Aruch Ha’shulchan Y.D. 344:6. </ref>


==Yeshiva==
==Yeshiva==
# It is absolutely forbidden to lie to the government and say that there are more students in the Yeshiva than there really are in order to receive more benefits from them.<ref>Igros Moshe C.M. 2:29. </ref>
 
#It is absolutely forbidden to lie to the government and say that there are more students in the Yeshiva than there really are in order to receive more benefits from them.<ref>Igros Moshe C.M. 2:29. </ref>


==Imitating==
==Imitating==
# A common occurrence is for a person to dress up as a poor person in order to collect more money, is this permitted or is considered as if he is not coming off as being truthful? The Mishnah in Mesechtas Peah<ref>8:9. </ref> says if one is not missing a limb or blind etc. and he makes himself as such he will not leave this world without becoming the thing which he imitated. The opinion of the Maharsha<ref>Mesechtas Peah ibid. </ref> is that this is talking about a person who is poor and he needs money so he does certain actions to make others have mercy on him.  Others seem to say that this is referring to someone who does not need money and he makes believe that he does.<ref>Refer to Mesechtas Kesubos 68a, Rambam Hilchos Matnas Aniyim 10:19, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 255:2, Mieri Mesechtas Kesubos ibid.</ref>
 
# Some say if a person is poor than doing the above is permitted,<ref>Opinion of Harav Fisher zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 162. </ref> while other do not agree with this premise.<ref>Opinion of Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov ibid. Refer to Teshuvos V’hanhugos 4:216. </ref>
#A common occurrence is for a person to dress up as a poor person in order to collect more money, is this permitted or is considered as if he is not coming off as being truthful? The Mishnah in Mesechtas Peah <ref>8:9 </ref> says if one is not missing a limb or blind etc. and he makes himself as such he will not leave this world without becoming the thing which he imitated. The opinion of the Maharsha<ref>Masechet Peah 8:9. </ref> is that this is talking about a person who is poor and he needs money so he does certain actions to make others have mercy on him.  Others seem to say that this is referring to someone who does not need money and he makes believe that he does.<ref>Refer to Mesechtas Kesubos 68a, Rambam Hilchos Matnas Aniyim 10:19, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 255:2, Meiri Mesechtas Kesubos 68a.</ref>
==Fasting ==
#Some say if a person is poor than doing the above is permitted,<ref>Opinion of Harav Fisher zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 162. </ref> while other do not agree with this premise.<ref>Opinion of Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov pg. 162. Refer to Teshuvos V’hanhugos 4:216. </ref>
# If an individual is fasting (not on a public fast day) and he is asked if he is fasting, it is proper for him to say he is not fasting in order not to show off before others.<ref>Refer to Taz O.C. 565:6, Magen Avraham 7, Kaf Ha’chaim 565:34. Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5. </ref>
 
==Fasting==
 
#If an individual is fasting (not on a public fast day) and he is asked if he is fasting, it is proper for him to say he is not fasting in order not to show off before others.<ref>Refer to Taz O.C. 565:6, Magen Avraham 7, Kaf Ha’chaim 565:34. Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5. </ref>
 
==Shidduch==
==Shidduch==
# It is very common for one to be red a shidduch and if it is not for him, he says he is "busy." Is this permitted even if he is not busy but does not want the girl to feel bad that he really is saying no? One is permitted to do so since otherwise it would be embarrassing to the girl to know that the boy said no to her.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 167, Emes Koneh page 55:footnote 45. Refer to Mesechtas Berochos 43b, Rashi “v’lo hiy.” </ref>
 
==Lying about Age ==
#It is very common for one to be informed of a shidduch and if it is not for him, he says he is "busy." Is this permitted even if he is not busy but does not want the girl to feel bad that he really is saying no? One is permitted to do so since otherwise it would be embarrassing to the girl to know that the boy said no to her.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 167, Emes Koneh page 55:footnote 45. Refer to Mesechtas Berochos 43b, Rashi “v’lo hiy.” </ref>
# A question arises if one is permitted to tell a shadchan he or she is younger than their age in order to facilitate a shidduch.<ref>Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 121-124 on this inyun. </ref> There are poskim who say if one of the sides is already looking for a shidduch and is having a hard time finding one then he or she may lie about their age.<ref>Opinion of Harav Fisher zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 122.</ref> Harav Elyashiv Shlita says that one who is twenty can say he is nineteen.<ref>Quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 122. The Steipler zt”l said that in general the husband should not be more than ten years older than the wife (Orchos Rabbeinu 1:page 268:23).</ref> When this question arises one should discuss it with his Rav.
 
==Lying about Age==
 
#A question arises if one is permitted to tell a shadchan he or she is younger than their age in order to facilitate a shidduch.<ref>Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 121-124 on this inyun. </ref> There are poskim who say if one of the sides is already looking for a shidduch and is having a hard time finding one then he or she may lie about their age.<ref>Opinion of Harav Fisher zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 122.</ref> Harav Elyashiv Shlita says that one who is twenty can say he is nineteen.<ref>Quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 122. The Steipler zt”l said that in general the husband should not be more than ten years older than the wife (Orchos Rabbeinu 1:page 268:23).</ref> When this question arises one should discuss it with his Rav.


==Surprise Party==
==Surprise Party==
# Many times one is interested in making a surprise party for someone but can not get him to the party by telling him the truth, therefore, a lie is said in order to get him to the part without him knowing the real reason why he is going. One is not allowed to do so since it is an outright lie.<ref>Opinion of Harav Fisher zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 176. </ref>
 
#Many times one is interested in making a surprise party for someone but can not get him to the party by telling him the truth, therefore, a lie is said in order to get him to the party without him knowing the real reason why he is going. One is not allowed to do so since it is an outright lie.<ref>Opinion of Harav Fisher zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 176. </ref>  Others disagree.<ref>See the position of R' Menashe Klein (Kovetz Mah Tovu Ohalecha- 3, pg. 57, no. 29) and R' Shlomo Aviner (Piskei Shelomo 3, Choshen Mishpat, pg. 151).  The Sefer Halichot Bein Adam LeChaveiro (20:17) writes that when it comes to surprise parties, one should minimize lying as much as possible, and that it is preferable to choose wording that can be understood in two ways.</ref>


==Airport==
==Airport==
# When traveling on an airplane one is asked beforehand if he packed everything and if there are any packages that you may have received from others. One is allowed to answer that he did not receive any packages from others even if he knows there is a package from his friend in the suitcase. The reason why doing so is permitted is because the point of the question is to inquire if there are any "suspicious" objects onboard. Since the passenger knows that there are no such items in his suitcase he may say that there are no packages from anyone inside.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 265-266. </ref> It may need to be redone today's.
 
#When traveling on an airplane one is asked beforehand if he packed everything and if there are any packages that you may have received from others. One is allowed to answer that he did not receive any packages from others even if he knows there is a package from his friend in the suitcase. The reason why doing so is permitted is because the point of the question is to inquire if there are any "suspicious" objects onboard. Since the passenger knows that there are no such items in his suitcase he may say that there are no packages from anyone inside.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 265-266. </ref>
 
==Torah==
==Torah==
# When one is telling you a davar Torah which you heard already, you may make believe that you never heard it even if you did.<ref>Emes Koneh page 40:footnote 10, Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 223 quoting the opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l. </ref>
 
#When one is telling you a davar Torah which you heard already, you may make believe that you never heard it even if you did.<ref>Emes Koneh page 40:footnote 10, Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 223 quoting the opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l. </ref>
 
==Honoring Parents==
==Honoring Parents==
# It is permitted to lie in order for one to respect his parents.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 207. </ref>
 
#It is permitted to lie in order for one to respect his parents.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 207. </ref>
 
==Telling of a Deceased Relative==
==Telling of a Deceased Relative==
# One who is sick and if he is told that a relative of his has died, he will r'l also die, then one does not tell him the bad news.<ref>Mesechtas Moed Kotton 26b,  Rambam Hilchos Avel 8:4, Tur Y.D. 337, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 337:1, Levush 1, Aruch Ha’shulchan 1, </ref> This is true even if the sick person asks for the reason that the family member etc has died.
 
#One who is sick and if he is told that a relative of his has died, he will r'l also die, then one does not tell him the bad news.<ref>Mesechtas Moed Kotton 26b,  Rambam Hilchos Avel 8:4, Tur Y.D. 337, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 337:1, Levush 1, Aruch Ha’shulchan 1, </ref> This is true even if the sick person asks for the reason that the family member etc has died.
 
==Title of Rav==
==Title of Rav==
# The opinion of Harav Elchonon Wasserman zt"l was that one should not be called "Rav" unless he is a Rav of a Shul, posek, or a Rosh Yeshiva.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 34:64, Niv Sefasayim pages 117-118 in depth. See Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 198. </ref> However, today, the custom is to be lenient with this.<ref>Opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov ibid and Chuko Mamtakim 1:page 45. Refer to Zecher Yehusef O.C. 70:page 184. </ref> Accordingly, even one who did not get semicha may be called Rav or Rabbi.  
 
#The opinion of Harav Elchonon Wasserman zt"l was that one should not be called "Rav" unless he is a Rav of a Shul, posek, or a Rosh Yeshiva.<ref>Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 34:64, Niv Sefasayim pages 117-118 in depth. See Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 198. </ref> However, today, the custom is to be lenient with this.<ref>Opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov pg. 198 and Chuko Mamtakim 1:page 45. Refer to Zecher Yehusef O.C. 70:page 184. </ref> Accordingly, even one who did not get semicha may be called Rav or Rabbi.
 
==Links==
[http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/747711/Rabbi_Aryeh_Lebowitz/Case_Studies_in_Lying Case Studies in Lying] by Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz
==Credits==
==Credits==
# Special thanks to Rabbi Moishe Dovid Lebovits Rabbinical Administrator for KOF-K Kosher Supervision and author of Halachically Speaking for this article. To reach the author please email mlebovits@kof-k.org.


==References==
#Special thanks to Rabbi Moishe Dovid Lebovits Rabbinical Administrator for KOF-K Kosher Supervision and author of Halachically Speaking for this article. To reach the author please email mlebovits@kof-k.org.
<references/>
 
==Sources==
<references />
[[Category:Between Man And His Fellow]]

Revision as of 20:28, 19 April 2021

Origin

  1. The posuk in the Torah says that one should further himself from lying. [1]
  2. The opinion of a few poskim is that this issur is talking about a person swearing in Bais Din,[2] or if it might cause damage.[3] (According to this lying is permitted in many situations, see below), while most poskim[4] hold there is an issur even if the lying does not fall into the above categories.[5]

Listening to a lie

  1. One should not listen to a lie.[6]

As a joke

  1. One should not lie even if it is only for a joke.[7]

To Prevent Sin

  1. It is permissible to lie in order to prevent another Jew from transgressing a sin. For instance to a person who is lax in certain prohibitions that a certain rav ruled that it is forbidden even if the rav never did. [8]

To encourage a mitzva

  1. It is prohibited to call out large sums of money as a pledge during the appeal in a shul for an organization even though they have no intention of giving that money in order to encouarage other to give moves. [9]

To Avoid Chilul Hashem

  1. One is permitted to lie if it will to prevent a chilul Hashem, a desecration of Hashem's name. [10]

Children

  1. One should teach children that lying is not allowed and one should stand guard on this.[11] One should not tell a child that you will give him something and then not fulfill your words, because doing so is teaching the child to lie.[12] One who hears his children talking loshon hara, lying etc has a mitzvah to stop them from doing so.[13] One should try to avoid pretending to eat food in order to make the child eat as well since this will teach the child that not doing the truth is allowed.[14]
  2. Many times one is learning with a child and he comes to a point where if he says the real peshat it will not be tzniusdik. The question is if one is allowed to veer from the real peshat? The opinion of the poskim is that one should say the real peshat and nothing will happen to the child by doing so.[15]

How to Avoid Lying

  1. One should not cling to a liar, and one should be very careful with this since the yetzer hara is always trying to catch us.[16] One who thinks of the word "Emes" and mentions it from his mouth many times will be prevented from saying a lie.[17] When one talks a lot it brings sin,[18] therefore, if one avoids chatter he will not come to sin or to lie.[19] One should learn some Mussar, including the Orchos Tzadikim on the topic of sheker.[20] One should not ask someone something that he knows will cause the person to lie.[21]

Business

  1. Many times people do not tell the truth in business and this is not correct.[22] When it says one is supposed to be trustworthy in his business dealings[23] it does not means that you should not steal because if you do that you are a wicked person. Rather it means that you should not say a lie,[24] you should talk nicely and not get angry….[25]

Writing

  1. One who wrote a lie has nonetheless transgressed the issur of not lying.[26]

Actions

  1. Even if one does not do any talking but from his actions it is obvious that he was saying a lie, then it is forbidden[27] (i.e. shaking his head to admit to something which is false).

When it is permitted to lie?

  1. The Gemorah[28] says for three things one is permitted to lie.[29]
    1. Lying regarding a mesechta
      1. If a person is fasting an individual fast for which he volunteered to fast, in order to preserve his humility it is permitted to lie in order to not to say one is fasting. However, it is also permitted to tell the truth as long as one's intent isn't to to publicize one's good deed. [30]
    2. Lying regarding hilchos tznius.
    3. Lying regarding a guest. There are different interpretations of what this means. Some say if a person asks you if you know a certain mesechtas one is allowed to say no since he is displaying humility.[31] If one asks you if you used the bed, you can answer no because of tznius.[32] One may also avoid the truth for other middos as well.[33] Others say this means if one asks you on Purim if you know the difference between cursed Haman and boruch Mordechai you can say no.[34] One who is asked if his host treated him with respect can say no, in order that the host does not receive many unwanted guests.[35] Others say when they ask someone a question on an inyun he can say he is learning a different inyun in order that they should not ask on the first inyun.[36]
  2. In the permitted instances of lying this applies for an un-learned person as well.[37] Based on the above, one who is asked where he is holding in a certain mesechta can say the daf before the one where he is really holding if he does not know that current Gemorah, but does know the previous daf. The reason is since he may be embarrassed if he is asked the Gemorah that he does not know.[38] It is important to point out the heter to lie about a certain mesechta is only if one is being asked in order to be tested, but if one is asked a din etc then one has to say the halacha.[39]
  3. In any situation where it is permitted to lie it is proper to avoid doing so.[40]
  4. Even in cases where it is permitted to do so, one should minimize the untruthfulness to only that which is absolutely necessary. Also, one should try to use wording that can be understood in two ways and avoid outright lying. [41]
  5. Based on the above, one is permitted to lie for humility, tznius and to avoid harm to one's friend.[42]

Lying For a Purpose

  1. Aside from the above leniency, lying is permitted for a purpose in certain situations.[43]
  2. One who is getting a ride from someone can say he is going to a close place even if he is not in order not to bother the driver.[44] So too one who sees his friend may miss his ride can say it is later than it is really in order to get the friend to make his ride.[45]
  3. There is a discussion in the poskim if one is allowed to go collecting for a poor talmid chachum and say it is for hachnoses kallah because then the givers will give more money. [46] When this question arises one should consult with his Rav.
  4. During an appeal one is not allowed to announce a larger donation than he is planning to give, even if the point is for others to give more money.[47]
  5. One who is shipping fragile objects such as matzah can write the word "glass" on the box in order that it should be dealt with properly. [48]

For peace

  1. One is allowed to lie for the sake of peace.[49] A proof to this is the fact that Hashem told Avraham a different story than actually took place between Hashem and Sarah.[50] Based on this one is allowed to lie to bring peace between husband and wife. [51]
  2. There is a discussion in the seforim if one is allowed to say a real lie for the sake of peace, or only to say something which can be interpreted as the truth as well.[52]
  3. There are poskim that are of the opinion that lying is only permitted for the sake of peace on something which already happened, but for an occurrence which did not yet happen one is not permitted to lie even if it is for peace.[53] However, the custom is to be lenient.[54]
  4. One should not be accustomed to lie for peace.[55]
  5. One is permitted to say the food is good even if it is not to prevent the host from cooking a different food if you told the truth about the food.[56]
  6. If children are fighting, and lying will bring peace between them it is permitted to do so.[57]
  7. It is important to point out that when it is permitted to lie for peace one should not take it lightly and think that all cases are permitted one should really think if peace will be avoided by telling the truth.[58]
  8. One is permitted to tell friend he has no money to lend if he knows his friend will not pay back.[59] In addition, one can say to a collector I do not have money if he really does have since he means he does not have money for this collector.[60]
  9. One who is asked if he has a cigarette and he does not want to give one for whatever reason can say he does not have. The intention is that although he has but for this person he does not have.[61]
  10. When a woman goes to the mikvah it is not proper that anyone other than her husband know.[62] Therefore if a woman is asked where she is going and she is going to the mikvah she may say she is going to this and this place.[63]
  11. There is an opinion in the poskim who says if one is sleeping and someone wants to reach him, it can be said he is not home. The reason is because when one sleeps it is as if he is not present in the house.[64]

For Privacy

  1. A woman who is asked if she is pregnant may say she is not in order for people not to know her private business.[65]

Avoiding Embarrassment

  1. One is permitted to lie in order for one's friend to avoid being embarrassed.[66]
  2. Similarly, it is sometimes permitted to lie to avoid personal embarrassment.[67] If a bochur who went on a date is asked where were you last night he does not have to say the truth if he is embarrassed.[68] You can also say I had to take care of something.
  3. If a woman miscarried and now gave birth to a boy one does not have to say the truth if he is asked will there be a pidyon haben? However, he can say she is a bas Kohen, or Levi in which case there is no pidyon haben. [69]
  4. One who is doing kiruv may say he did the sin as well in order to lessen the embarrassment of his students.[70]
  5. Many ba'alei teshuva who are asked what they did in their youth lie about it and this is permitted since it is embarrassing to them.[71]
  6. One who is not up to par and does not want others to know about it may say he is doing fine when asked how he is feeling.[72]

Collector at Door

  1. It is a very common occurrence for a collector to knock on the door and wish to speak with the ba'al habayis to receive money. Many times the parent will tell the child tell the person I am not home. Is this permitted according to the halacha? (against lying)? The poskim say that telling the person the ba'al habayis is not home is permitted because of shalom. It is not the business of the collector to know what is going on in the house. If he tells him he does not want to see him now it will make the collector angry, therefore lying is permitted.[73] In any case one should not tell a child to say one is not home because it is not good chinuch.[74]

Revealing Secrets

  1. It is very common for a person holding in a shidduch and is about to get engaged, to tell his friend not to say anything about it to other people. If he is asked by someone else if it is true, that so and so is getting engaged can one lie? The poskim are of the opinion that he may not tell and he should say I do not know.[75]

Parents

  1. If one's father asks you who told you to do this and this and if you say your mother it will make your father upset you can lie and say someone else told you.[76]

Wealth

  1. One who is asked if it is true that he has a lot of money can say no if he is concerned of ayin hara and does not want other people to become jealous.[77]

Candle Lighting

  1. If a woman asks her husband how much time is left until Shabbos? he may say there is less time remaining until Shabbos so that she will be ready early. However, this is only when a woman is running late because she is lazy. If it will casue her pain it should not be done.[78]

Broke a Utensil

  1. If a utensil broke and blaming it on a child[79] (who does not understand, since otherwise it would not be good chinuch to lie) would make peace of the situation, then doing so is permitted.[80].

Refraining from Issur

  1. In order to prevent someone from doing an issur one is allowed to say a name of an odom gadol (that he will listen to) who said it is ossur, even if the odom gadol did not say it.[81] The same is true to lie in order to avoid eating something which is ossur, i.e. to say you are fasting.[82]

Kallah

  1. There is a dispute if one is supposed to say to the chosson the kallah looks nice even if she does not.[83] L'maseh, one is permitted to say a kallah looks beautiful even if she does not. The reason is in order that her chosson should love her.[84] Some say this is based on the heter to lie because of peace.[85] Others say because even if one says she is beautiful when she is not it can be going on her actions.[86] The same is true for one whose child is not pretty; he may say he is beautiful.[87]

A Bought Item

One may tell a person the object he bought is nice (if he was asked) even if it is not nice.[88] The reason is because one is supposed to be well liked among the world.[89]

Learning

  1. A rebbe who sees a student who is not learning, the rebbe can tell him "you have the ability to learn better" even if the rebbe knows he does not, if it is done in order for the student to be more learned.[90]

Cheering Up Someone

  1. One may lie to someone who is broken hearted if doing so will cheer him up.[91] For example, if one is in pain because he has no money one can say to his friend I do not have money either even if he really does.[92]

Calling Someone Son or Brother

  1. One is allowed to call someone his son or brother even if he is not his son or brother. The reason is because even one's students are his sons and all Jews are brothers.[93]

Calling One's Son-in-Law a Son etc.

  1. It is very common after a couple gets married for the new father-in-law to call the son-in-law a son or daughter. This is not considered a lie because a son-in-law or daughter-in-law is really like one's own child.[94] The same is true for the son-in-law to call his in-law by Ma or Ta.[95] Nonetheless, one should not do this in front of his parents.

Exaggerating

  1. One is permitted to exaggerate and it is not considered lying, since one is not making his friend make a mistake because of it, and we do find some places[96] that the Gemorah says exaggerating was done.[97]
  2. Someone who is asked how much something was can say it was $2000 when in reality it was $1533 since it is close to $2000.[98]
  3. Based on this one would be permitted lie to make other people happy if no one is getting fooled because of it.[99]
  4. In addition, one who is asked the time can say it is 1:00pm even if it is 12:58pm.[100]
  5. Writing on an invitation the chupah will be at 7:30pm even though it will not be until 8:30pm is not a lie since all know that these events do not start on time.[101]

Eulogy

  1. Many times one can find himself at a levaya r"l and the speaker is saying middos etc. which all present know the deceased did not have, is this permitted or considered lying? The poskim say doing so is permitted as long as one does not go overboard with attributes that were non-existent.[102]

Some say based on this is if one is asked about a boy who is a masmid for a shidduch if he is a masmid, you can say he is and he learns this many hours even if he does not, since if he was able to he would learn that many hours [103] Others explain that although we saw or knew the deceased did a certain action we add to it because who really knows how much he did and chances are he did more than we know of.[104]

Yeshiva

  1. It is absolutely forbidden to lie to the government and say that there are more students in the Yeshiva than there really are in order to receive more benefits from them.[105]

Imitating

  1. A common occurrence is for a person to dress up as a poor person in order to collect more money, is this permitted or is considered as if he is not coming off as being truthful? The Mishnah in Mesechtas Peah [106] says if one is not missing a limb or blind etc. and he makes himself as such he will not leave this world without becoming the thing which he imitated. The opinion of the Maharsha[107] is that this is talking about a person who is poor and he needs money so he does certain actions to make others have mercy on him. Others seem to say that this is referring to someone who does not need money and he makes believe that he does.[108]
  2. Some say if a person is poor than doing the above is permitted,[109] while other do not agree with this premise.[110]

Fasting

  1. If an individual is fasting (not on a public fast day) and he is asked if he is fasting, it is proper for him to say he is not fasting in order not to show off before others.[111]

Shidduch

  1. It is very common for one to be informed of a shidduch and if it is not for him, he says he is "busy." Is this permitted even if he is not busy but does not want the girl to feel bad that he really is saying no? One is permitted to do so since otherwise it would be embarrassing to the girl to know that the boy said no to her.[112]

Lying about Age

  1. A question arises if one is permitted to tell a shadchan he or she is younger than their age in order to facilitate a shidduch.[113] There are poskim who say if one of the sides is already looking for a shidduch and is having a hard time finding one then he or she may lie about their age.[114] Harav Elyashiv Shlita says that one who is twenty can say he is nineteen.[115] When this question arises one should discuss it with his Rav.

Surprise Party

  1. Many times one is interested in making a surprise party for someone but can not get him to the party by telling him the truth, therefore, a lie is said in order to get him to the party without him knowing the real reason why he is going. One is not allowed to do so since it is an outright lie.[116] Others disagree.[117]

Airport

  1. When traveling on an airplane one is asked beforehand if he packed everything and if there are any packages that you may have received from others. One is allowed to answer that he did not receive any packages from others even if he knows there is a package from his friend in the suitcase. The reason why doing so is permitted is because the point of the question is to inquire if there are any "suspicious" objects onboard. Since the passenger knows that there are no such items in his suitcase he may say that there are no packages from anyone inside.[118]

Torah

  1. When one is telling you a davar Torah which you heard already, you may make believe that you never heard it even if you did.[119]

Honoring Parents

  1. It is permitted to lie in order for one to respect his parents.[120]

Telling of a Deceased Relative

  1. One who is sick and if he is told that a relative of his has died, he will r'l also die, then one does not tell him the bad news.[121] This is true even if the sick person asks for the reason that the family member etc has died.

Title of Rav

  1. The opinion of Harav Elchonon Wasserman zt"l was that one should not be called "Rav" unless he is a Rav of a Shul, posek, or a Rosh Yeshiva.[122] However, today, the custom is to be lenient with this.[123] Accordingly, even one who did not get semicha may be called Rav or Rabbi.

Links

Case Studies in Lying by Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz

Credits

  1. Special thanks to Rabbi Moishe Dovid Lebovits Rabbinical Administrator for KOF-K Kosher Supervision and author of Halachically Speaking for this article. To reach the author please email mlebovits@kof-k.org.

Sources

  1. ↑ Parshas Shemos 23:7, see Rambam Hilchos De'os 5:7, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Mishna Brurah O.C. 25:14, Mesilas Yesharim 11. Refer to Rambam Sefer Hamitzvot Lo Sasei 281 who includes the issur of lying in the issur of saying Hashem's name in vain regarding bais din. Lying is disgusted in the eyes of all, and there is nothing more disgusting than lying. Hashem is truth, and beracha only goes on someone who wants to go in the ways of Hashem. Therefore, the Torah tells us to further ourselves from lying. Pela Yoetz Sheker page 558, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24 write that no other aveirah does the Torah use the words "to further" except for lying therefore one must be careful with this even when it would only appear to be a lie. The issur is not only not to say a lie but to further oneself from a lie (Niv Sefasayim page 10).
  2. ↑ Ibn Ezra Shemot 23:7, see Orach Mesharim 9:footnote 1 in depth, Modanei Yom Tov 2:pages 463-464). Refer to Mesechtas Shavuos 30b.
  3. ↑ Refer to Sefer Yeraim 235, Rambam Hilchos De’os 5:13, Derech Sicha 1:pages 306-307, 2:page 134.
  4. ↑ Refer to Kovetz Bais Aron V’Yisroel 59:pages 70-75 in great depth.
  5. ↑ Refer to Semak 227, Shlah Shar Osios Shin, Chinuch Mitzvah 74, Reishis Chuchma Shar Hakedusha 12:60, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 402:12, Aruch L’ner Mesechtas Yevamos 65b “ko sumro,” Sefas Tamim 1:page 7, 6:page 24, Chofetz chaim pesicha asei 13, 1:1:1, Chazzon Ish Emunah and Betachon 4:13:page 55, Tzitz Eliezer 15:12:2, Niv Sefasayim pages 2-3, 2:pages 1-4. Refer to Michtav M’Eliyahu 1:pages 94-96 who explains what lying and truth are.
  6. ↑ Chinuch mitzvah 74, see Chinuch mitzvah 37, Chinuch mitzvah 74, Niv Sefasayim page 14. Refer to Minchas Elazar 3:18, Orach Mesharim 8:footnote 28, 11:6.
  7. ↑ Mesilas Yesharim 11:page 80.
  8. ↑ Magen Avraham 156:2 and Sefer Midvar Sheker Tirchak page 61 quoting the Orach Meisharim. Gemara Shabbat 115a supports this. Yesod Yosef (ch. 46) understands the gemara Pesachim 112a to mean that it is forbidden and a serious sin.
  9. ↑ minchat yitzchak 3:97
  10. ↑ Mishpatei Hashalom 2: pg. 55
  11. ↑ Pela Yoetz Sheker page 559, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24, Niv Sefasayim pages 124-125.
  12. ↑ Mesechtas Succah 44b, see Yirmiyah 9:4, Rambam, Hilchos Shavuos 12:8, Pele Yoetz Shekerpg. 559, Orach Mesharim 9:2, Chinuch Yisroel 1:pages 306-307, Sefas Tamim 6:page 24, Modanei Yom Tov 2:pages 467-468, V’eim Lumo Michshal 2:page 239:12. Emes Koneh pages 72-74 in great depth.
  13. ↑ Mishna Brurah 443:3. The Orchos Rabbeinu 1:page 252.:12 says to only tell children true stories.
  14. ↑ Refer to Emes Koneh page 40:footnote 10.
  15. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 84 quoting the opinion of both Harav Elyashiv Shlita and Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l.
  16. ↑ Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker.
  17. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 15:10.
  18. ↑ Mesechtas Avos 1:17.
  19. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 16:16.
  20. ↑ Orchos Rabbeinu 1page 252:13. See Chazzon Ish Emunah and Bitachon 4:14:pages 57-58.
  21. ↑ Pela Yoetz Sheker page 559.
  22. ↑ Pela Yoetz Sheker page 559, Sefas Tamim 2:page 11.
  23. ↑ Shulchan Aruch O.C. 156:1, see Kaf Ha’chaim 12-13.
  24. ↑ Refer to Gra Mishlei 17:7.
  25. ↑ Aruch Ha’shulchan 156:3.
  26. ↑ Refer to Mesechtas Bava Basra Tosfas 94b “huchi,” Da’as Torah O.C. 156, Tzitz Eliezer 15:12:1. See Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 82-84, Even Yisroel 9:166:7.
  27. ↑ Refer to Mesechtas Shavuos 31a, Rashi “vkum.”
  28. ↑ Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Magen Avraham 156:2, Pri Megadim Eishel Avraham 156, Mishna Brurah 156:4, see Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 41-59 in great depth. Some say this is only permitted once a year (Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 59). The Divrei Torah 2:67 says this Gemorah is talking about three areas where joking is done, starting off learning with a joke, Purim, and Succos.
  29. ↑ Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 48 if doing so is optional or a mitzvah. Refer to Ben Yehoyada Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b pages 70-70b who says these three things are said in a way which can be interrupted as the truth as well. The Machtzis Ha’shekel 156 says some say it is a mitzvah while others say one is allowed to lie in the above situations.
  30. ↑ Magen Avraham 565:7 based on Gemara Ketubot 75b
  31. ↑ Rashi Bava Metziah 23b s.v. b’mesechtas. Refer to Niv Sefasayim 2, pages 35-37.
  32. ↑ Rashi 23b “b’purya.” Refer to Tosfas “b’purya” Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveidah 14:13 and Rashba who have a different explanation of this. Refer to Igros Moshe C.M. 2:61:3. See Ben Yehoyada on Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b for has a novel approach to what this question means.
  33. ↑ Niv Sefasayim page 58.
  34. ↑ Maharsaha Chiddushei Agados Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b “b’purya.” Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 52:26. See Moadim V’zemanim 6:109 who explains this opinion.
  35. ↑ Rashi Mesechtas Bava Metziah 24a “b’ushpiza,” Tosfas Mesechtas Bava Metziah “b’ushpiza” Nemukei Yosef. Refer to Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveidah 14:13, Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker. Shita M’keubetzes, Mieri Bav Metziah 23b. Some say this is all permitted because they are included in lying for peace (Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 43). The custom is always to say the food was good at a guest even if it was not, see Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 56:36.
  36. ↑ Refer to Toras Chaim Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b.
  37. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 69 quoting the opinion of Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita, see Derech Sicha 1:pages 306-307.
  38. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 175.
  39. ↑ Tosfos Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b, see Niv Sefasayim pages 51-52.
  40. ↑ Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker (end), Koneh Emes page 70:3. Ben Yehoyada Mesechtas Bava Metziah 23b:page 70b writes that this is hinted to it the roshei teivos of the three above mentioned items. Ushpitza, Mesechtas, and Tashmish (tznius inyunim), in Hebrew spells Emes.
  41. ↑ Mishpitei Hashalom 2: pg. 57
  42. ↑ Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5, Torah She’bal Pe 21:page 90.
  43. ↑ Refer to Emes Koneh pages 33-34, Niv Sefasayim pages 42-43.
  44. ↑ Emes Koneh page 50:footnote 31. Refer to Modanei Shlomo pages 150-151.
  45. ↑ Opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l quoted in Chuko Mamtakim 1:page 49:footnote 21.
  46. ↑ Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 71-73, Shevet Ha’Levi 2:119. One who is collecting for a poor chosson can say he is collecting for hachnoses kallah even if the kallah is not lacking money (opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 76).
  47. ↑ Minchas Yitzchok 3:97:1.
  48. ↑ Opinions of Harav Elyashiv Shlita, Harav Fisher zt”l and Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 91-92. Mishpatei Hashalom 2: page 41 agrees but says it would be preferable to simply write fragile if that would suffice. Refer to Teshuvos V’hanhugos 2:523 how this applies to shipping a sefer Torah.
  49. ↑ Mesechtas Yevamos 65b, Bava Metziah 87a, Shulchan Aruch C.M. 262:21, Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveida 14:13, Semak 227, Teshuvos Rama 11, Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker, Rabbeinu Yonah Sharei Teshuva 3:181, Lev Chaim 1:5, Mishna Brurah 156:4, Chofetz Chaim chelek 2:1:8, Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 23-24, Derech Sicha 1:page 307. Some say it is only permitted if one is not hurting the other party by lying (Rabbeinu Yonah in Sharei Teshuva 3:181). Others say it is a mitzvah to lie for peace (Refer to Masechet Yevamos 65b, Ran Masechet Bava Metziah 23b, Niv Sefasayim 2:page 23, Modanei Yom Tov 2:pages 465-466). Some say lying for peace is only permitted if one will not make a different person lose out and he does not do it because he loves to lie (Refer to Niv Sefasayim pages 35-36).
  50. ↑ Refer to Bereishis 18:13. 21:7, see Bereishis 50:16, Rashi “avicha,” Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 250-251 who explains the last source.
  51. ↑ Reishis Chuchma Shar Hakedusha 12:61.
  52. ↑ Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 92-93 who brings the opinions. See Chofetz Chaim chelek 2:1:8, Niv Sefasayim page 33.
  53. ↑ Refer to Sefer Chassidim 426, Magen Avrham O.C. 156:1, Shulchan Aruch Harav 2, Elya Rabbah 156:2, Da’as Torah 156, Mishna Brurah 156:4, Lev Chaim 1:5, see Rav Pealim C.M. 3:1. Many seem to question this premise (Refer to Emes Koneh page 76 in depth).
  54. ↑ Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5, Emes Koneh pg. 76, Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 17-22 in great depth. Refer to Chasam Sofer Lekutim 6:59, Cheshav Ha’efod 1:59.
  55. ↑ Yam Shel Shlomo Mesechtas Yevomos 65b, Yad Eliyahu 62, see Niv Sefasayim pages 28-29. Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5.
  56. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 104.
  57. ↑ Opinions of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l and Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 85, Niv Sefasayim opage 26.
  58. ↑ Refer to Niv Sefasayim page 26. See Torah L’shma 364:page 255 who says lying for peace is permitted if otherwise destruction would come about.
  59. ↑ Refer to Pischei Choshen Halvah 1:footnote 13:page 3.
  60. ↑ Derech Sicha 1:page 308, 2:page 140, V’ein Lumo Michshal 2:page 241:footnote *.
  61. ↑ Opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 184, and in Chuko Mamtakim 1:page 49.
  62. ↑ Rama Y.D. 198:48.
  63. ↑ Shevet Ha’kehusi 1:377, Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 181-182.
  64. ↑ Shevet Ha’kehusi 3:326:page 279. The author of the Melamed L’hoel would go to sleep in the afternoon and tell his wife to tell people he is preparing for a shiur. It is permitted because through sleeping he was able to say the shiur with more clarity. Therefore, his sleeping was in a sense preparing for the shiur (Titen Emes L’Yaakov:page 108).
  65. ↑ Emes Koneh page 49:footnote 26, V’ein Lumo Michshal 2:page 71, Mishpitei Hashalom 2 pg. 55
  66. ↑ Rambam Hilchos Gezeilah V’aveidah 14:13, Lev Chaim 1:5, Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 97-99. Refer to Shevet Ha’Levi 5:2. Refer to Masechet Berochos 43b, Rashi “v’lo hiy,” Masechet Eruvin 53b, Sanhedrin 11a, Menochos 67b, Rashi Mesechet Avodah Zarah 58a “dumi,” Tosfos Avodah Zarah 58a “ikloah,” Da’as Torah 156.
  67. ↑ The Gemara has numerous stories in which there is some white lie to protect being embarrassed.
    1. The Gemara Yevamot 77a states that if a rabbi says a halachic testimony before an occurrence happened it is accepted but if he says it afterwards then it isn't accepted. Tosfot s.v. im explains that we don't accept the testimony if he is personally involved and stands to benefit.
    2. The Gemara Brachot 43b relates a story in which Rav Papa fabricated a testimony from Rava to substantiate his actions so that he wouldn't be embarrassed with what he did incorrectly (Rashi s.v. velo). Magen Giborim 216:5 offers an nuanced interpretation in which Rav Papa didn't make up any testimony. Rav Schachter (Brachot Shiur 86 min 4) said that it is scandalous to learn the gemara like Rashi that a rabbi can sometimes lie to save embarrassment and that's why some rishonim disagree. On that Gemara Brachot the Gilyon Hashas points out a Gemara Yerushalmi Nazir 7:1 33b which relates a story in which a student Gavila made up a testimony of what his teacher Rav Acha said and when it was found out that he mistakenly extrapolated and misquoted his teacher, Rav Acha flogged him. That certainly indicates that it is a serious offense to misquote someone. So why was Rav Papa permitted to do what he did?
    3. Also, the Gemara Chullin 111b has a story in which Shmuel seems to have fabricated a story about Rav to convince Rabbi Elazar of his opinion and later Rav denies it. The Maharalbach (Chief Rabbi of Yerushalayim from 1525 until 1545) responsa 121 was very troubled by this gemara and that explained that Shmuel didn't actually make up a story and he was just misunderstood or that he did but he just meant that he was sure that the story could have happened so he said it as though it happened. See Ketav Sofer YD 77 was similarly bothered.
    4. Also, the Gemara Avoda Zara 58a records a story in which Rava altered what he actually said originally to saved being embarrassed by his original mistaken ruling.
      1. (Also, Eruvin 51a tells a story in which Rav Yosef made up a statement of Rabbi Yosi to support his point, however, there he knew he was right and no one argued with him, and he just said quoted someone great so that Rabba would listen to him. See Yabia Omer CM 2:3 who cites the Rama Mpano 5 who strongly disagrees with Rashi to explain this story differently for this reason.
      2. The same is true of Gemara Shabbat 115a in which Rabba made up a statement of Rabbi Yochanan so that people would listen to him.
      3. See Nazir 59b in which Rabbi Yehoshua asked a question to Ben Zoma based on unsubstantiated assumptions in order to gain clarity of the subject. The gemara explains that he did so to teach everyone that a person shouldn't be embarrassed to ask questions.)
    • The Maharalbach (Kuntres Hasemicha 279a) infers from the Gemara's that a rabbi can sometimes lie to avoid being embarrassed and denigrating the respect of Torah. He says that specifically when a person did an action and is publicly embarrassed is there a concern of him lying but if he just said something privately we're not concerned.
    1. Gemara Zevachim 94a records a story in which Rava made a public ruling and after realizing his mistake made another public announcement and declared publicly what I previously stated was incorrect.
    2. The Gemara Zevachim 101a explains that in the argument between Aharon and Moshe, Moshe's conclusion (Vayikra 10:20) wasn't merely to say that Aharon was right but that he was very humble and admitted that he hear from Hashem what Aharon said and he forgot.
  68. ↑ Opinion of Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 102.
  69. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 102.
  70. ↑ Emes Koneh page 39:footnote 9.
  71. ↑ Emes Koneh page 43:footnote 16, see Igros Moshe E.H. 4:47.
  72. ↑ Emes Koneh page 43:footnote 16.
  73. ↑ Opinions of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l and Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 107. Others argue with this (opinion of Harav Wonser Shlita Titen Emes L’Yaakov:page 108).
  74. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 108.
  75. ↑ Opinions of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l and Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 108.
  76. ↑ Sefer Chassidim 336:pages 254-255.
  77. ↑ Mishpitei Hashalom 2: pg. 55, Opinion of Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 111. Refer to there where he brings proof to this.
  78. ↑ Opinion of Harav Elyashiv Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 125.
  79. ↑ Refer to Rashi Sefer Bereishis 30:23.
  80. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 125.
  81. ↑ Refer to Rashi Mesechtas Pesachim 112a “hitla,” Orach Mesharim 9:6.
  82. ↑ Kaf Ha’chaim 565:36.
  83. ↑ Masechet Kesubos 17a, Semak 227, Rabbeinu Yona Sharei Teshuva 3:181, Orchos Tzadikim Shar HaSheker, see Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 175-176 who explains the dispute see also page 100-101. Also see Niv Sefasayim 2:pages 4-9 in great depth, and Torah She’bal Pe 21:pages 92-94. Refer to Ben Yehoyada in Mesechtas Kesubos 16:page 67 and Yismach Lev 1:page 170.
  84. ↑ Mesechtas Kesubos 17a. See Tosfas “kallah,” Rashba, Shita Mekubetzes, Shulchan Aruch E.H. 65:1, Chasam Sofer Mesechet Kesubos 17a
  85. ↑ Ritvah Masechet Kesubos 17a Refer to Maharsha Mesechtas Kesubos 16b “ketzad.”
  86. ↑ Bais Shbmuel E.H. 65:2, Prisha 1, Aruch Ha’shulchan 65:1. See Shevet Ha’Levi 5:2.
  87. ↑ Emes Koneh page 37:footnote 5, Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 224 quoting the opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l.
  88. ↑ Masechet Kesubos 17a.
  89. ↑ Masechet Kesubos 17a, Chofetz Chaim chelek 2:9:12:2, Be’er Mayim Chaim 34. Refer to Shita Mekubetzes Masechet Kesubos 17a.
  90. ↑ Niv Sefasayim page 48.
  91. ↑ Emes Koneh page 37:5.
  92. ↑ Niv Sefasayim page 73.
  93. ↑ Orach Mesharim 9:10:footnote 12, Niv Sefasayim page 121.
  94. ↑ Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 143, Niv Sefasayim page 121, Rashi Sefer Bereishi 37:35 “v’kol,” Rashi in Mesechtas Shabbos 23b “nufek.”
  95. ↑ Niv Sefasayim page 121.
  96. ↑ Refer to Mesechtas Eruvin 2b, Mesechtas Beitzah 4a.
  97. ↑ Orach Mesharim 9:11:footnote 13, Opinion of Harav shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 174, Opinion of Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 173-174 (only if it is obvious that one is exaggerating). Refer to Mesechtas Eruvin 2b, Mesechtas Beitzah 4a, Mesechtas Chullin 90b, Rashi “guzma,” Rama Y.D. 236:5, Taz 10.
  98. ↑ Refer to Mesechtas Kiddushin 12a, Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 178.
  99. ↑ Emes Koneh page 17:9, Niv Sefasayim page 130.
  100. ↑ Refer to Emes Koneh page 83:footnote 3, Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 223.
  101. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 261-262. So too other areas which are known that people exaggerate (Sheilas Rav page 43:5). Bediuk (written on invitations) stands for “Bis Da Yiddin Velien Kimmon” As long as the Yiddin will come (Harav Yisroel Belsky Shlita).
  102. ↑ Tur Y.D. 344, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 344:1. Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 126-131 in great depth. Refer to Chuko Mamtakim 1:page 47. The Taz Y.D. 344:2 explains it is permitted because if the deceased would have had the opportunity to do the chessed to the next level he would have done so, so we say it about him even if he did not do it.
  103. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 130.
  104. ↑ Aruch Ha’shulchan Y.D. 344:6.
  105. ↑ Igros Moshe C.M. 2:29.
  106. ↑ 8:9
  107. ↑ Masechet Peah 8:9.
  108. ↑ Refer to Mesechtas Kesubos 68a, Rambam Hilchos Matnas Aniyim 10:19, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 255:2, Meiri Mesechtas Kesubos 68a.
  109. ↑ Opinion of Harav Fisher zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 162.
  110. ↑ Opinion of Harav Chaim Kanievesky Shlita quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov pg. 162. Refer to Teshuvos V’hanhugos 4:216.
  111. ↑ Refer to Taz O.C. 565:6, Magen Avraham 7, Kaf Ha’chaim 565:34. Refer to Lev Chaim 1:5.
  112. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 167, Emes Koneh page 55:footnote 45. Refer to Mesechtas Berochos 43b, Rashi “v’lo hiy.”
  113. ↑ Refer to Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 121-124 on this inyun.
  114. ↑ Opinion of Harav Fisher zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 122.
  115. ↑ Quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 122. The Steipler zt”l said that in general the husband should not be more than ten years older than the wife (Orchos Rabbeinu 1:page 268:23).
  116. ↑ Opinion of Harav Fisher zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 176.
  117. ↑ See the position of R' Menashe Klein (Kovetz Mah Tovu Ohalecha- 3, pg. 57, no. 29) and R' Shlomo Aviner (Piskei Shelomo 3, Choshen Mishpat, pg. 151). The Sefer Halichot Bein Adam LeChaveiro (20:17) writes that when it comes to surprise parties, one should minimize lying as much as possible, and that it is preferable to choose wording that can be understood in two ways.
  118. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov pages 265-266.
  119. ↑ Emes Koneh page 40:footnote 10, Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 223 quoting the opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt”l.
  120. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 207.
  121. ↑ Mesechtas Moed Kotton 26b, Rambam Hilchos Avel 8:4, Tur Y.D. 337, Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 337:1, Levush 1, Aruch Ha’shulchan 1,
  122. ↑ Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 34:64, Niv Sefasayim pages 117-118 in depth. See Titen Emes L’Yaakov page 198.
  123. ↑ Opinion of Harav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l quoted in Titen Emes L’Yaakov pg. 198 and Chuko Mamtakim 1:page 45. Refer to Zecher Yehusef O.C. 70:page 184.
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