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Socializing with Non-Jews: Difference between revisions

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===Where===
===Where===
# The Gemara tells how one Amora would take the sheichar out the door of the Non-Jews home in order to drink it, while a different Amora would go all the way back home.<ref>Avodah Zarah 31b.</ref> At that point, the concern for intermarriage no longer applies.<ref>Rif, Rabbeinu Chananel, Ramban, Talmidei Rabbeinu Yonah, Rosh 2:15, Ran, and Tosafot Rid ad loc, Beit Yosef Yoreh Deah 114:1</ref> In practice, one can be lenient and drink once he has fully exited the place of sale, but there is definitely room to follow the second opinion either due to interest in being stringent or because the Halacha follows it.<ref>Most authorities (Rif, Tosafot, Rashba) argue that the second Amora was only acting stringently on himself, but the Rambam (Maachalot Assurot 17:10) took him more seriously and holds like him. Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 114:1 presents the language of the Rambam, but Pri Chadash Yoreh Deah 114:3 and Darkei Teshuva 114:3 disagree. In the Pri Chadash's view, the second, more stringent Amora only went all the way home because he was a regular. A person who doesn't go regularly can even drink in the doorway of the place of sale. Mizmor leDavid (Pardo, ad loc.), Chochmat Adam 66:14, Aruch HaShulchan Yoreh Deah 114:10, and Zivchei Tzedek 114:3 argue back in favor of Shulchan Aruch's ruling and note that the Rama doesn't even disagree. However, the Shulchan Gavoah interprets Rambam and, by extension, Shulchan Aruch to not be literal in their insistence on going all the way home.</ref>
# The Gemara tells how one Amora would take the sheichar out the door of the Non-Jew's home in order to drink it, while a different Amora would go all the way back home.<ref>Avodah Zarah 31b.</ref> At that point, the concern for intermarriage no longer applies.<ref>Rif, Rabbeinu Chananel, Ramban, Talmidei Rabbeinu Yonah, Rosh 2:15, Ran, and Tosafot Rid ad loc, Beit Yosef Yoreh Deah 114:1</ref> In practice, one can be lenient and drink once he has fully exited the place of sale, but there is definitely room to follow the second opinion either due to interest in being stringent or because the Halacha follows it.<ref>Most authorities (Rif, Tosafot, Rashba) argue that the second Amora was only acting stringently on himself, but the Rambam (Maachalot Assurot 17:10) took him more seriously and holds like him. Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 114:1 presents the language of the Rambam, but Pri Chadash Yoreh Deah 114:3 and Darkei Teshuva 114:3 disagree. In the Pri Chadash's view, the second, more stringent Amora only went all the way home because he was a regular. A person who doesn't go regularly can even drink in the doorway of the place of sale. Mizmor leDavid (Pardo, ad loc.), Chochmat Adam 66:14, Aruch HaShulchan Yoreh Deah 114:10, and Zivchei Tzedek 114:3 argue back in favor of Shulchan Aruch's ruling and note that the Rama doesn't even disagree. However, the Shulchan Gavoah interprets Rambam and, by extension, Shulchan Aruch to not be literal in their insistence on going all the way home.</ref>
# Therefore, even in a kosher restaurant, if it's owned by a non-Jew, a Sepharadi<ref>see the leniency for Ashkenazim above</ref> may not have a beer at the bar; rather, he must take it and sit down at a table in the other room.<ref>[https://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/895256/rabbi-dovid-cohen-crc-/alcoholic-beverages-2-siman-114-sif-1b-drinking-in-a-non-jew-s-bar-or-home-source-of-the-prohibition-which-locations-which-beverages-/ R' Dovid Cohen (cRc)]</ref>
# Therefore, even in a kosher restaurant, if it's owned by a non-Jew, a Sepharadi<ref>see the leniency for Ashkenazim above</ref> may not have a beer at the bar; rather, he must take it and sit down at a table in the other room.<ref>[https://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/895256/rabbi-dovid-cohen-crc-/alcoholic-beverages-2-siman-114-sif-1b-drinking-in-a-non-jew-s-bar-or-home-source-of-the-prohibition-which-locations-which-beverages-/ R' Dovid Cohen (cRc)]</ref>
# One who is staying overnight in a Non-Jews home (such as in an inn or hotel), and one who is hosting the Non-Jew in his home, however, can be lenient, because of Eivah. The prohibition preventing intermarriage applies only in the context of a drinking party in the store or regularly in the Non-Jew's home.<ref>Sefer HaTerumah 158, Tosfot Avodah Zarah 31b s.v. Utravayhu, Talmidei Rabbeinu Yonah and Ritva ad loc, Ohr Zarua Avodah Zarah 163, Rosh Avodah Zarah 2:15 adds that "Gedolei Eretz HaEey (England) were lenient, Mordechai Avodah Zarah 819, Hagahot Maimoniot, Tur and Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 114:1, Kenesset HaGedolah Hagahot Beit Yosef 114:10, Zivchei Tzedek 114:6-7, Kaf HaChaim Yoreh Deah 114:7</ref>
# One who is staying overnight in a Non-Jews home (such as in an inn or hotel), and one who is hosting the Non-Jew in his home, however, can be lenient, because of Eivah. The prohibition preventing intermarriage applies only in the context of a drinking party in the store or regularly in the Non-Jew's home.<ref>Sefer HaTerumah 158, Tosfot Avodah Zarah 31b s.v. Utravayhu, Talmidei Rabbeinu Yonah and Ritva ad loc, Ohr Zarua Avodah Zarah 163, Rosh Avodah Zarah 2:15 adds that "Gedolei Eretz HaEey (England) were lenient, Mordechai Avodah Zarah 819, Hagahot Maimoniot, Tur and Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 114:1, Kenesset HaGedolah Hagahot Beit Yosef 114:10, Zivchei Tzedek 114:6-7, Kaf HaChaim Yoreh Deah 114:7</ref>
# In other words, if one is participating in a fashion which is both "aray" (informal, unestablished) and "akrai" (seldom, three or fewer times), it is permissible. Meaning, drinking in an established fashion ("keva" instead of "aray") even once is a problem, and more than three times (ragil) even informally (be'akrai) are still problematic.
# In other words, if one is participating in a fashion which is both "aray" (informal, unestablished) and "akrai" (seldom, three or fewer times), it is permissible. Meaning, drinking in an established fashion ("keva" instead of "aray") even once is a problem, and more than three times (ragil) even informally (be'akrai) are still problematic.
# One may also send someone to bring him Sheichar from a Non-Jew in the city and drink it bederech keva in his own home.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 114:1, Kaf HaChaim Yoreh Deah 114:8</ref>
# One may also send someone to bring him Sheichar from a Non-Jew in the city and drink it bederech keva in his own home.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 114:1, Kaf HaChaim Yoreh Deah 114:8</ref>
# See page on [[Marit Ayin/Suspicious actions|Marit Ayin]] for relevant halachot in these situations.
# See page on [[Marit Ayin/Suspicious actions|Marit Ayin]] for relevant halachot in these situations.