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Kaddish: Difference between revisions
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==Who Should Say Kaddish== | ==Who Should Say Kaddish== | ||
# The midrashim<ref>Kol Bo (cited by Bet Yosef 376) cites a midrash where Rebbe went a person who was stuck outside the next world until his son would say Kaddish or read the Haftorah for his merit. The Gra 376:6 cites other sources which cite the midrash.</ref> speak of how a child saying Kaddish for a parent, father or mother, could save the parent from a harsh judgement in heaven. The Kabbalists explain that the child saying Kaddish also elevates the level of the parent in heaven.<ref>Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 1 p. 349) citing the Arizal (Shaar Hakavanot Drush Hakaddish 15b)</ref> Therefore, the minhag is to say Kaddish for a parent as well as get the Aliyah of Maftir and to pray as the Shaliach Tzibur especially for [[Arvit]]. <ref>Rama YD 376:4, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 27:1</reF> | # The midrashim<ref>Kol Bo (cited by Bet Yosef 376) cites a midrash where Rebbe went a person who was stuck outside the next world until his son would say Kaddish or read the Haftorah for his merit. The Gra 376:6 cites other sources which cite the midrash.</ref> speak of how a child saying Kaddish for a parent, father or mother, could save the parent from a harsh judgement in heaven. The Kabbalists explain that the child saying Kaddish also elevates the level of the parent in heaven.<ref>Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 1 p. 349) citing the Arizal (Shaar Hakavanot Drush Hakaddish 15b)</ref> Therefore, the minhag is to say Kaddish for a parent as well as get the Aliyah of Maftir and to pray as the Shaliach Tzibur especially for [[Arvit]]. <ref>Rama YD 376:4, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 27:1</reF> | ||
# | # If a person’s parent passes away he should say kaddish for them even if the other parent is alive. If the mother passed away and the father doesn’t want his son to say kaddish for his mother while he’s alive, although it is best to convince him otherwise, the son should listen to his father. However, if a father passed away and the mother doesn’t want the son to say kaddish for his father while she’s alive he should try to convince her otherwise but if he can’t he doesn’t have to listen to her.<Ref>Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 1 p. 338)</ref> | ||
# Although we say Kaddish and [[prayers]] in the merit of our parents, the primary merit for parents is that a child follows in the just and proper way.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 27:22</ref> | # Although we say Kaddish and [[prayers]] in the merit of our parents, the primary merit for parents is that a child follows in the just and proper way.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 27:22</ref> | ||
# It is permissible to recite Kaddish in memory of a non-Jew as long as the one who you are saying it for was a moral individual. A convert should say Kaddish for his parents.<ref> Sh"t Yechave Daat 6:60, Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 1 p. 358) </ref> | # It is permissible to recite Kaddish in memory of a non-Jew as long as the one who you are saying it for was a moral individual. A convert should say Kaddish for his parents.<ref> Sh"t Yechave Daat 6:60, Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 1 p. 358) </ref> | ||
# The Sephardic minhag is that anyone who wants may say Kaddish even if that means it will be a number of people reciting Kaddish together. <ref> Kaf HaChaim 132:16, Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 1 p. 334). The Chatam Sofer YD 2:345 records this as the Sephardic minhag as well.</ref> For a discussion on the Ashkenazic minhag see [http://www.torahmusings.com/2014/01/may-multiple-people-say-kaddish-simultaneously/ Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz]. Many Ashkenazim have adopted the Sephardic minhag.<ref>Chazon Ovadia citing Tzitz Eliezer 9:15:2 and Gesher Hachaim p. 333.</ref> | |||
# As to whether a woman may say kaddish, it depends on the minhag of each place. <ref>The Pitchei Teshuva 376:3 cites the Chavot Yair 222 as holding that theoretically women could say kaddish but it isn't the practice and shouldn't be encouraged. Rav Hershel Schachter (B'ikvei Hatzon p. 24 no. 5) quotes Rav Soloveitchik as saying that it depends on the minhag and would be okay in places where it is common, though he adds it may only be said in a place where there is a minyan of men. Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 1 p. 356) holds that a woman may not say it in shul but only at home after a minyan of men finishes learning. </ref> | # As to whether a woman may say kaddish, it depends on the minhag of each place. <ref>The Pitchei Teshuva 376:3 cites the Chavot Yair 222 as holding that theoretically women could say kaddish but it isn't the practice and shouldn't be encouraged. Rav Hershel Schachter (B'ikvei Hatzon p. 24 no. 5) quotes Rav Soloveitchik as saying that it depends on the minhag and would be okay in places where it is common, though he adds it may only be said in a place where there is a minyan of men. Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 1 p. 356) holds that a woman may not say it in shul but only at home after a minyan of men finishes learning. </ref> | ||
# A child younger than bar mitzvah may not say Kaddish and Barchu for the congregation except for the Kaddish Yatom at the end of davening.<ref>Mishna Brurah 55:4, Mishna Brurah 132:10</ref> According to Sephardim, it is proper to have an adult say it along with the child.<ref>Kaf Hachaim 55:19 holds that a child should only say it if an adult says it along with him. Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 1 p. 354) holds that the child can say it alone but it is proper to have an adult say it along with him. </ref> | # A child younger than bar mitzvah may not say Kaddish and Barchu for the congregation except for the Kaddish Yatom at the end of davening.<ref>Mishna Brurah 55:4, Mishna Brurah 132:10</ref> According to Sephardim, it is proper to have an adult say it along with the child.<ref>Kaf Hachaim 55:19 holds that a child should only say it if an adult says it along with him. Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 1 p. 354) holds that the child can say it alone but it is proper to have an adult say it along with him. </ref> | ||
