Inappropriate Staring at the Opposite Gender: Difference between revisions
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# It is forbidden to stare<ref>Maharshal (Ketubot 2:3) writes that just looking is permitted even for a talmid chacham but not to look intently or stare. </ref> at any part of a woman's body, even her pinky, if one intends to derive pleasure from looking at it.<ref>[[Brachot]] 24a, Rambam (Isurei Biyah 21:2), Shulchan Aruch EH 21:1. The Bet Shmuel 21:2 writes that it is Biblically forbidden according to the Rabbenu Yonah (Igeret HaTeshuva 19, cited by Bet Yosef 21:2) and rabbinically forbidden according to the Rambam. Either way, having inappropriate thoughts ([[Hirhur]]) about such a woman is Biblically forbidden.</ref> This is a particularly serious sin.<ref>Yoma 74b</ref> | # It is forbidden to stare<ref>Maharshal (Ketubot 2:3) writes that just looking is permitted even for a talmid chacham but not to look intently or stare. </ref> at any part of a woman's body, even her pinky, if one intends to derive pleasure from looking at it.<ref>[[Brachot]] 24a, Rambam (Isurei Biyah 21:2), Shulchan Aruch EH 21:1. The Bet Shmuel 21:2 writes that it is Biblically forbidden according to the Rabbenu Yonah (Igeret HaTeshuva 19, cited by Bet Yosef 21:2) and rabbinically forbidden according to the Rambam. Either way, having inappropriate thoughts ([[Hirhur]]) about such a woman is Biblically forbidden.</ref> This is a particularly serious sin.<ref>Yoma 74b</ref> | ||
# It is permitted to stare at one's wife even when she's a [[Niddah]] even if it brings one's pleasure (nonetheless, it in some contexts it is still totally inappropriate).<ref>Rambam Issurei Biyah 21:4</ref> Nonetheless one may not look at certain parts of one's wife.<ref>Nedarim 20a, Raavad (Issurei Biyah 21:4)</ref> | # It is permitted to stare at one's wife even when she's a [[Niddah]] even if it brings one's pleasure (nonetheless, it in some contexts it is still totally inappropriate).<ref>Rambam Issurei Biyah 21:4</ref> Nonetheless one may not look at certain parts of one's wife.<ref>Nedarim 20a, Raavad (Issurei Biyah 21:4)</ref> | ||
# For purposes of [[marriage]], it is permitted and proper to look at one's intended wife before marrying her. <ref>[[Kiddushin]] 41a, Rambam Ishut 3:19, Shulchan Aruch EH 21:3. See Yaavetz (Shabbat 53b) who says that for a very modest person it is permitted to get married without seeing one's intended wife.</ref> | # For purposes of [[marriage]], it is permitted and proper to look at one's intended wife before marrying her.<ref>[[Kiddushin]] 41a, Rambam Ishut 3:19, Shulchan Aruch EH 21:3. See Yaavetz (Shabbat 53b) who says that for a very modest person it is permitted to get married without seeing one's intended wife.</ref> | ||
# Aside for staring, there is a general prohibition to have inappropriate thoughts (Hirhurim) about the opposite gender.<ref>Ketubot 46a, Shulchan Aruch EH 23:3</ref> | # Aside for staring, there is a general prohibition to have inappropriate thoughts (Hirhurim) about the opposite gender.<ref>Ketubot 46a, Shulchan Aruch EH 23:3</ref> | ||
# Seeing inappropriately dressed women is completely forbidden but it isn't one of the 3 prohibitions for which a person must give up their life, therefore, it is permitted to go an area where there are woman inappropriately dressed to save one's life or save someone else's life.<ref>Igrot Moshe EH 1:56 proves that the prohibition with staring at woman who are inappropriately dressed is v'nishmarta, in that it leads to hirhurim and bitul shichvat zera, but not because of lo tikravu l'galot ervah. Therefore, he writes that if to avoid a life threatening situation someone would have to see inappropriately dressed woman he should violate the prohibition and not give up his life since this prohibition isn't one of the big three for which we give up our life. He distinguishes between this and the Gemara Sanhedrin 74a and says that if he took an action and brought before him a woman inappropriately dressed before him in order to take pleasure that would be prohibited because of giluy arayot and it would prohibited even in order to save his life. | # Seeing inappropriately dressed women is completely forbidden but it isn't one of the 3 prohibitions for which a person must give up their life, therefore, it is permitted to go an area where there are woman inappropriately dressed to save one's life or save someone else's life.<ref>Igrot Moshe EH 1:56 proves that the prohibition with staring at woman who are inappropriately dressed is v'nishmarta, in that it leads to hirhurim and bitul shichvat zera, but not because of lo tikravu l'galot ervah. Therefore, he writes that if to avoid a life threatening situation someone would have to see inappropriately dressed woman he should violate the prohibition and not give up his life since this prohibition isn't one of the big three for which we give up our life. He distinguishes between this and the Gemara Sanhedrin 74a and says that if he took an action and brought before him a woman inappropriately dressed before him in order to take pleasure that would be prohibited because of giluy arayot and it would prohibited even in order to save his life. | ||
