https://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Comforting_the_Mourners&feed=atom&action=historyComforting the Mourners - Revision history2024-03-29T07:42:57ZRevision history for this page on the wikiMediaWiki 1.39.3https://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Comforting_the_Mourners&diff=26811&oldid=prevUnknown user: Text replacement - ". <ref>" to ".<ref>"2020-07-11T18:00:13Z<p>Text replacement - ". <ref>" to ".<ref>"</p>
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<td colspan="2" style="background-color: #fff; color: #202122; text-align: center;">Revision as of 18:00, 11 July 2020</td>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==Obligation==</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==Obligation==</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># There is a great mitzva to comfort mourners. <ref> Sotah 14a, Rambam Avel 14:1, Shulchan Aruch YD 376:1, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:1. Rambam Hilchot Avel 14:1 seems to hold that this mitzva is only rabbinic, although Rabbeinu Yonah to the beginning of the third chapter of Brachos indicates that one fulfills a mitzvah deoraisa by comforting a mourner. </ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># There is a great mitzva to comfort mourners.<ref> Sotah 14a, Rambam Avel 14:1, Shulchan Aruch YD 376:1, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:1. Rambam Hilchot Avel 14:1 seems to hold that this mitzva is only rabbinic, although Rabbeinu Yonah to the beginning of the third chapter of Brachos indicates that one fulfills a mitzvah deoraisa by comforting a mourner. </ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is better to attend a mourner's house than a party.<ref>Kohelet 7:2, Aruch Hashulchan 403:8</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is better to attend a mourner's house than a party.<ref>Kohelet 7:2, Aruch Hashulchan 403:8</ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is better to comfort the mourner than to visit someone who is sick ([[Bikur Cholim]]).<ref>Rambam (Avel 14:7), Rama YD 335:10</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is better to comfort the mourner than to visit someone who is sick ([[Bikur Cholim]]).<ref>Rambam (Avel 14:7), Rama YD 335:10</ref></div></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is crucial to remember that the reason for one's visit to the house of mourning is to comfort the mourner(s), and so one must be considerate to their wishes.<ref>Cf. Sefer Ahavas Chessed 3:6 and Sh"t Teshuvos V'Hanhagos 3:378</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is crucial to remember that the reason for one's visit to the house of mourning is to comfort the mourner(s), and so one must be considerate to their wishes.<ref>Cf. Sefer Ahavas Chessed 3:6 and Sh"t Teshuvos V'Hanhagos 3:378</ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># There are two components to comforting the mourner; one, easing the pain of the living relatives and two, showing a last honor to the deceased.<ref>Rambam (Avel 14:7)</ref> There's an additional productive aspect of going to the house of mourners; it reminds a person of the fragility of life.<ref>Ketubot 72a, Rama YD 403:10</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># There are two components to comforting the mourner; one, easing the pain of the living relatives and two, showing a last honor to the deceased.<ref>Rambam (Avel 14:7)</ref> There's an additional productive aspect of going to the house of mourners; it reminds a person of the fragility of life.<ref>Ketubot 72a, Rama YD 403:10</ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># Those coming to comfort the avel should not initiate conversation but should respond when the mourner begins to speak. <ref>Moed Katan 28b, Shulchan Aruch YD 376:1, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:1 </ref>Just listening and enabling the mourner to relieve some of his pain by expressing his emotions is a form of comfort. <ref>Yoma 75a</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># Those coming to comfort the avel should not initiate conversation but should respond when the mourner begins to speak.<ref>Moed Katan 28b, Shulchan Aruch YD 376:1, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:1 </ref>Just listening and enabling the mourner to relieve some of his pain by expressing his emotions is a form of comfort.<ref>Yoma 75a</ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># One should not say “What could you have done? You can’t change what Hashem decreed.” since this implies that if one were able to change what Hashem decreed, one would have, which is blasphemous. Rather one should accept Hashem’s decrees.<ref>Gemara Bava Kama 38a, Rama YD 376:2, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:4, Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 70)</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># One should not say “What could you have done? You can’t change what Hashem decreed.” since this implies that if one were able to change what Hashem decreed, one would have, which is blasphemous. Rather one should accept Hashem’s decrees.<ref>Gemara Bava Kama 38a, Rama YD 376:2, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:4, Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 70)</ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># The mourner should not say I have not been punished according to my actions because it is forbidden to give the Satan an excuse to get involved.<ref>Rama YD 376:2, Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 71)</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># The mourner should not say I have not been punished according to my actions because it is forbidden to give the Satan an excuse to get involved.<ref>Rama YD 376:2, Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 71)</ref></div></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Shabbat===</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Shabbat===</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is permitted to visit a mourner on [[Shabbat]]. However, one should not plan to visit a mourner specifically on [[Shabbat]]. <ref>Shulchan Aruch 287:1 writes that it's permitted to comfort a mourner on [[Shabbat]]. However, Mishna Brurah 287:1 points out that the Rabbis only permitted this with difficulty. Thus, says the Mishna Brurah, those who only comfort mourners on [[Shabbat]] are not acting correctly. [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/m/halacha.aspx?id=2230 Rabbi Mansour on Dailyhalacha.com] says therefore one shouldn't specifically plan to visit on [[Shabbat]]. Gesher Hachaim 1:20:5:2 writes that the sephardic minhag is to go to the mourner's house for comforting on Shabbat and Yom Tov. Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 73) confirms this.</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is permitted to visit a mourner on [[Shabbat]]. However, one should not plan to visit a mourner specifically on [[Shabbat]].<ref>Shulchan Aruch 287:1 writes that it's permitted to comfort a mourner on [[Shabbat]]. However, Mishna Brurah 287:1 points out that the Rabbis only permitted this with difficulty. Thus, says the Mishna Brurah, those who only comfort mourners on [[Shabbat]] are not acting correctly. [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/m/halacha.aspx?id=2230 Rabbi Mansour on Dailyhalacha.com] says therefore one shouldn't specifically plan to visit on [[Shabbat]]. Gesher Hachaim 1:20:5:2 writes that the sephardic minhag is to go to the mourner's house for comforting on Shabbat and Yom Tov. Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 73) confirms this.</ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># If one comforts a mourner on [[Shabbat]] one should say "[[Shabbat]] Hiy MeLeNachem VeNechama Krova Lavo" and some are lenient to say HaMakom Yinachamecha. <Ref>Mishna Brurah 287:3. Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 74) has a slightly longer version "[[Shabbat]] Hiy MeLeNachem VeNechama Krova Lavo Vlo Tosifu Ldava Od" based on the Maharshal. </ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># If one comforts a mourner on [[Shabbat]] one should say "[[Shabbat]] Hiy MeLeNachem VeNechama Krova Lavo" and some are lenient to say HaMakom Yinachamecha. <Ref>Mishna Brurah 287:3. Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 74) has a slightly longer version "[[Shabbat]] Hiy MeLeNachem VeNechama Krova Lavo Vlo Tosifu Ldava Od" based on the Maharshal. </ref></div></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==Over the Phone==</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==Over the Phone==</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># Many authorities hold if a person can go to the house of the mourner he should not exempt himself by calling on the phone. However, if a person can't make it to the mourner's house because of an illness or involvement in a mitzvah there is an obligation to fulfill what he can by calling on the telephone. <ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># Many authorities hold if a person can go to the house of the mourner he should not exempt himself by calling on the phone. However, if a person can't make it to the mourner's house because of an illness or involvement in a mitzvah there is an obligation to fulfill what he can by calling on the telephone.<ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>* Sh"t Igrot Moshe 4:40:11 writes there's two purposes of comforting the mourner. One is to comfort and speak to the living relatives who are very distressed. The other purpose is to show respect to the deceased. Comforting a mourner over the phone only fulfills the first purpose and even in that respect it's much better to go to the mourners house. Therefore, if a person can go to the house of the mourner he should not exempt himself by calling on the phone. However, if a person can't make it to the mourner's house because of an illness or involvement in a mitzvah there is an obligation to fulfill what he can by calling on the telephone. Rav Moshe also has a similar idea regarding [[Visiting the sick|visiting the sick]] ([[Bikur Cholim]]) in Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:223. Minchat Yitzchak 2:84 agrees with Rav Moshe regarding [[Bikur Cholim]]. Bear Moshe 2:104, 106 and 7:2:58 agrees with Rav Moshe both regarding comforting mourners and [[visiting the sick]]. Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 65) agrees with Rav Moshe regarding comforting the mourner.</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>* Sh"t Igrot Moshe 4:40:11 writes there's two purposes of comforting the mourner. One is to comfort and speak to the living relatives who are very distressed. The other purpose is to show respect to the deceased. Comforting a mourner over the phone only fulfills the first purpose and even in that respect it's much better to go to the mourners house. Therefore, if a person can go to the house of the mourner he should not exempt himself by calling on the phone. However, if a person can't make it to the mourner's house because of an illness or involvement in a mitzvah there is an obligation to fulfill what he can by calling on the telephone. Rav Moshe also has a similar idea regarding [[Visiting the sick|visiting the sick]] ([[Bikur Cholim]]) in Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:223. Minchat Yitzchak 2:84 agrees with Rav Moshe regarding [[Bikur Cholim]]. Bear Moshe 2:104, 106 and 7:2:58 agrees with Rav Moshe both regarding comforting mourners and [[visiting the sick]]. Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 65) agrees with Rav Moshe regarding comforting the mourner.</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>* However, Rav Yitzchak Hutner (Pachad Yitzchak Igrot #33) writes that calling a sick person on the phone basically accomplishes the purpose of [[Bikur Cholim]] to investigate in a fellow Jew's situation and see how one can help, however, calling a mourner one doesn't fulfill the mitzvah properly because [[Nichum Aveilim]] is supposed to create a [[gathering]] of comforters to surround the mourner (see Ketubot 69b) and a phone doesn't accomplish that. See Peni Baruch 11:12 who quotes Sh"t Minchat David 72-3 who says that one shouldn't comfort mourners over the phone.</ref> Similarly, some allow one who cannot visit to fulfill his obligation by sending a letter.<ref> Teshuvot Vihanhagot 2:587</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>* However, Rav Yitzchak Hutner (Pachad Yitzchak Igrot #33) writes that calling a sick person on the phone basically accomplishes the purpose of [[Bikur Cholim]] to investigate in a fellow Jew's situation and see how one can help, however, calling a mourner one doesn't fulfill the mitzvah properly because [[Nichum Aveilim]] is supposed to create a [[gathering]] of comforters to surround the mourner (see Ketubot 69b) and a phone doesn't accomplish that. See Peni Baruch 11:12 who quotes Sh"t Minchat David 72-3 who says that one shouldn't comfort mourners over the phone.</ref> Similarly, some allow one who cannot visit to fulfill his obligation by sending a letter.<ref> Teshuvot Vihanhagot 2:587</ref></div></td></tr>
</table>Unknown userhttps://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Comforting_the_Mourners&diff=21255&oldid=prevMordechaiD: yd category2018-06-13T17:50:13Z<p>yd category</p>
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</table>MordechaiDhttps://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Comforting_the_Mourners&diff=19545&oldid=prevYitzchakSultan: /* Who Should Comfort the Mourner */2017-08-13T04:51:22Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Who Should Comfort the Mourner</span></span></p>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==Who Should Comfort the Mourner==</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==Who Should Comfort the Mourner==</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># An enemy of the mourner shouldn't comfort the mourner so that people don’t think that he’s happy because of his downfall, however, he may be involved in escorting the funeral procession. <Ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 193:1 </ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># An enemy of the mourner shouldn't comfort the mourner so that people don’t think that he’s happy because of his downfall, however, he may be involved in escorting the funeral procession. <Ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 193:1 </ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># Men and women can be involved in comforting a women. If there are only women mourners men should go to comfort the mourner together with others or after the shiva minyan when many people are there.<ref>Gesher Hachaim 1:20:5:1</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># Men and women can be involved in comforting a women. If there are only women mourners men should go to comfort the mourner together with others or after the shiva minyan when many people are there.<ref>Gesher Hachaim 1:20:5:1<ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">. Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 74) writes that when a man comforts a woman he should remain by the door and recite the phrase of Hamakom.</ins></ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is good chinuch to bring one's children to visit a mourner for comfort.<Ref>Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 72) citing the Reshit Chachma</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is good chinuch to bring one's children to visit a mourner for comfort.<Ref>Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 72) citing the Reshit Chachma</ref></div></td></tr>
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</table>YitzchakSultanhttps://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Comforting_the_Mourners&diff=19544&oldid=prevYitzchakSultan: /* Shabbat */2017-08-13T04:49:16Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Shabbat</span></span></p>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br/></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br/></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Shabbat===</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Shabbat===</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is permitted to visit a mourner on [[Shabbat]]. However, one should not plan to visit a mourner specifically on [[Shabbat]]. <ref>Shulchan Aruch 287:1 writes that it's permitted to comfort a mourner on [[Shabbat]]. However, Mishna Brurah 287:1 points out that the Rabbis only permitted this with difficulty. Thus, says the Mishna Brurah, those who only comfort mourners on [[Shabbat]] are not acting correctly. [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/m/halacha.aspx?id=2230 Rabbi Mansour on Dailyhalacha.com] says therefore one shouldn't specifically plan to visit on [[Shabbat]]. Gesher Hachaim 1:20:5:2 writes that the sephardic minhag is to go to the mourner's house for comforting on Shabbat and Yom Tov. </ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is permitted to visit a mourner on [[Shabbat]]. However, one should not plan to visit a mourner specifically on [[Shabbat]]. <ref>Shulchan Aruch 287:1 writes that it's permitted to comfort a mourner on [[Shabbat]]. However, Mishna Brurah 287:1 points out that the Rabbis only permitted this with difficulty. Thus, says the Mishna Brurah, those who only comfort mourners on [[Shabbat]] are not acting correctly. [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/m/halacha.aspx?id=2230 Rabbi Mansour on Dailyhalacha.com] says therefore one shouldn't specifically plan to visit on [[Shabbat]]. Gesher Hachaim 1:20:5:2 writes that the sephardic minhag is to go to the mourner's house for comforting on Shabbat and Yom Tov<ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">. Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 73) confirms this</ins>.</ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># If one comforts a mourner on [[Shabbat]] one should say "[[Shabbat]] Hiy MeLeNachem VeNechama Krova Lavo" and some are lenient to say HaMakom Yinachamecha. <Ref>Mishna Brurah 287:3 </ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># If one comforts a mourner on [[Shabbat]] one should say "[[Shabbat]] Hiy MeLeNachem VeNechama Krova Lavo" and some are lenient to say HaMakom Yinachamecha. <Ref>Mishna Brurah 287:3<ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">. Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 74) has a slightly longer version "[[Shabbat]] Hiy MeLeNachem VeNechama Krova Lavo Vlo Tosifu Ldava Od" based on the Maharshal. </ins></ref></div></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Yom Tov===</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Yom Tov===</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># If someone's relative dies on Yom Tov or Chol Hamoed according to Shulchan Aruch the community should perform nichum aveilum on Yom Tov and Chol Hamoed.<ref>Shulchan Aruch OC 548:6, Shulchan Aruch YD 399:2</ref> The Ashkenazic minhag is not to go to go to the house of the mourner on Shabbat or Yom Tov but the minhag is to comfort the mourner on Chol Hamoed, Rosh Chodesh, Chanuka, and Purim.<ref>Gesher Hachaim 1:20:5:2</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># If someone's relative dies on Yom Tov or Chol Hamoed according to Shulchan Aruch the community should perform nichum aveilum on Yom Tov and Chol Hamoed.<ref>Shulchan Aruch OC 548:6, Shulchan Aruch YD 399:2</ref> The Ashkenazic minhag is not to go to go to the house of the mourner on Shabbat or Yom Tov but the minhag is to comfort the mourner on Chol Hamoed, Rosh Chodesh, Chanuka, and Purim.<ref>Gesher Hachaim 1:20:5:2</ref></div></td></tr>
</table>YitzchakSultanhttps://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Comforting_the_Mourners&diff=19543&oldid=prevYitzchakSultan: /* Night */2017-08-13T04:47:30Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Night</span></span></p>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Night===</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Night===</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># One may visit the mourners even during the night.<ref> Gesher Hachaim vol. 1 page 209, Sh"t Yabea Omer vol. 10 pg. 299</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># One may visit the mourners even during the night.<ref> Gesher Hachaim vol. 1 page 209, Sh"t Yabea Omer vol. 10 pg. 299</ref> <ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">But one shouldn't go so late when the mourners need to sleep.<ref> Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 73)</ref></ins></div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" class="diff-side-deleted"></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div> </div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Shabbat===</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Shabbat===</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is permitted to visit a mourner on [[Shabbat]]. However, one should not plan to visit a mourner specifically on [[Shabbat]]. <ref>Shulchan Aruch 287:1 writes that it's permitted to comfort a mourner on [[Shabbat]]. However, Mishna Brurah 287:1 points out that the Rabbis only permitted this with difficulty. Thus, says the Mishna Brurah, those who only comfort mourners on [[Shabbat]] are not acting correctly. [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/m/halacha.aspx?id=2230 Rabbi Mansour on Dailyhalacha.com] says therefore one shouldn't specifically plan to visit on [[Shabbat]]. Gesher Hachaim 1:20:5:2 writes that the sephardic minhag is to go to the mourner's house for comforting on Shabbat and Yom Tov. </ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is permitted to visit a mourner on [[Shabbat]]. However, one should not plan to visit a mourner specifically on [[Shabbat]]. <ref>Shulchan Aruch 287:1 writes that it's permitted to comfort a mourner on [[Shabbat]]. However, Mishna Brurah 287:1 points out that the Rabbis only permitted this with difficulty. Thus, says the Mishna Brurah, those who only comfort mourners on [[Shabbat]] are not acting correctly. [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/m/halacha.aspx?id=2230 Rabbi Mansour on Dailyhalacha.com] says therefore one shouldn't specifically plan to visit on [[Shabbat]]. Gesher Hachaim 1:20:5:2 writes that the sephardic minhag is to go to the mourner's house for comforting on Shabbat and Yom Tov. </ref></div></td></tr>
</table>YitzchakSultanhttps://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Comforting_the_Mourners&diff=19542&oldid=prevYitzchakSultan: /* Who Should Comfort the Mourner */2017-08-13T04:46:32Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Who Should Comfort the Mourner</span></span></p>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># An enemy of the mourner shouldn't comfort the mourner so that people don’t think that he’s happy because of his downfall, however, he may be involved in escorting the funeral procession. <Ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 193:1 </ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># An enemy of the mourner shouldn't comfort the mourner so that people don’t think that he’s happy because of his downfall, however, he may be involved in escorting the funeral procession. <Ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 193:1 </ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># Men and women can be involved in comforting a women. If there are only women mourners men should go to comfort the mourner together with others or after the shiva minyan when many people are there.<ref>Gesher Hachaim 1:20:5:1</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># Men and women can be involved in comforting a women. If there are only women mourners men should go to comfort the mourner together with others or after the shiva minyan when many people are there.<ref>Gesher Hachaim 1:20:5:1</ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" class="diff-side-deleted"></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;"># It is good chinuch to bring one's children to visit a mourner for comfort.<Ref>Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 72) citing the Reshit Chachma</ref></ins></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br/></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br/></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==Sources==</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==Sources==</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><references/></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><references/></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>[[Category:Between Man And His Fellow]]</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>[[Category:Between Man And His Fellow]]</div></td></tr>
</table>YitzchakSultanhttps://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Comforting_the_Mourners&diff=19541&oldid=prevYitzchakSultan: /* First 3 Days */2017-08-13T04:45:26Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">First 3 Days</span></span></p>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==When Should one Visit?==</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==When Should one Visit?==</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===First 3 Days===</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===First 3 Days===</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># Many poskim cite the practice not to visit during the first three days after the funeral<ref> This practice is mentioned in Gesher Hachaim vol. 1 page 209, Teshuvot Vihanhagot 4:274:9, Sefer Chesed Shel Emet pg. 415, Nitei Gavriel Aveilut vol. 1:Perek 86. The Gesher Hachaim writes that since this is just a minhag if there are extenuating circumstances one may certainly go during the first three days. Emes LiYaakov pg. 394 writes that the minhag in Lithuania was to allow visiting even on the first day. The Lubavitcher Rebbe (cited in Shaarei Halacha U'Minhag YD 137 is also lenient. <del style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">see </del>also Teshuvot Vihanhagot 3:377 and 4:274:9<del style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">) </del>who writes that since the majority of people who just go to show support (and only say "Hamakom Yenachem...") may go at any time. </ref> </div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># Many poskim cite the practice not to visit during the first three days after the funeral<ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">.</ins><ref> This practice is mentioned in Gesher Hachaim vol. 1 page 209, Teshuvot Vihanhagot 4:274:9, Sefer Chesed Shel Emet pg. 415, Nitei Gavriel Aveilut vol. 1:Perek 86. The Gesher Hachaim writes that since this is just a minhag if there are extenuating circumstances one may certainly go during the first three days<ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">. </ref> However, others hold that this is an incorrect practice and one should even within the first three days.<ref>Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 71) writes that it is a mistaken minhag not to visit the mourner during the first three days and one of his proofs if the Rambam Avel 13:2</ins>. Emes LiYaakov pg. 394 writes that the minhag in Lithuania was to allow visiting even on the first day. The Lubavitcher Rebbe (cited in Shaarei Halacha U'Minhag YD 137<ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">) </ins>is also lenient. <ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">See </ins>also Teshuvot Vihanhagot 3:377 and 4:274:9 who writes that since the majority of people who just go to show support (and only say "Hamakom Yenachem...") may go at any time. </ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" class="diff-side-deleted"></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div> </div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Night===</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Night===</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># One may visit the mourners even during the night.<ref> Gesher Hachaim vol. 1 page 209, Sh"t Yabea Omer vol. 10 pg. 299</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># One may visit the mourners even during the night.<ref> Gesher Hachaim vol. 1 page 209, Sh"t Yabea Omer vol. 10 pg. 299</ref></div></td></tr>
</table>YitzchakSultanhttps://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Comforting_the_Mourners&diff=19540&oldid=prevYitzchakSultan: /* How to Comfort the Mourner */2017-08-13T04:42:13Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">How to Comfort the Mourner</span></span></p>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br/></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br/></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==How to Comfort the Mourner==</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==How to Comfort the Mourner==</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is crucial to remember that the reason for one's visit to the house of mourning is to comfort the mourner(s), and so one must be considerate to their wishes.<ref>Cf. Sefer Ahavas Chessed 3:6 and Sh"<del style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">T </del>Teshuvos V'Hanhagos 3:378</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is crucial to remember that the reason for one's visit to the house of mourning is to comfort the mourner(s), and so one must be considerate to their wishes.<ref>Cf. Sefer Ahavas Chessed 3:6 and Sh"<ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">t </ins>Teshuvos V'Hanhagos 3:378</ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># There are two components to comforting the mourner; one, easing the pain of the living relatives and two, showing a last honor to the deceased.<ref>Rambam (Avel 14:7)</ref> There's an additional productive aspect of going to the house of mourners; it reminds a person of the fragility of life.<ref>Ketubot 72a</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># There are two components to comforting the mourner; one, easing the pain of the living relatives and two, showing a last honor to the deceased.<ref>Rambam (Avel 14:7)</ref> There's an additional productive aspect of going to the house of mourners; it reminds a person of the fragility of life.<ref>Ketubot 72a<ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">, Rama YD 403:10</ins></ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># Those coming to comfort the avel should not initiate conversation but should respond when the mourner begins to speak. <ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:1 </ref>Just listening and enabling the mourner to relieve some of his pain by expressing his emotions is a form of comfort. <ref>Yoma 75a</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># Those coming to comfort the avel should not initiate conversation but should respond when the mourner begins to speak. <ref><ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">Moed Katan 28b, Shulchan Aruch YD 376:1, </ins>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:1 </ref>Just listening and enabling the mourner to relieve some of his pain by expressing his emotions is a form of comfort. <ref>Yoma 75a</ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># One should not say “What could you have done? You can’t change what Hashem decreed.” since this implies that if one were able to change what Hashem decreed, one would have, which is blasphemous. Rather one should accept Hashem’s decrees.<ref>Gemara Bava Kama 38a, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:4</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># One should not say “What could you have done? You can’t change what Hashem decreed.” since this implies that if one were able to change what Hashem decreed, one would have, which is blasphemous. Rather one should accept Hashem’s decrees.<ref>Gemara Bava Kama 38a<ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">, Rama YD 376:2</ins>, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:4<ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">, Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 70)</ref></ins></div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" class="diff-side-deleted"></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;"># The mourner should not say I have not been punished according to my actions because it is forbidden to give the Satan an excuse to get involved.<ref>Rama YD 376:2, Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 71)</ins></ref></div></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==When Should one Visit?==</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==When Should one Visit?==</div></td></tr>
</table>YitzchakSultanhttps://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Comforting_the_Mourners&diff=19539&oldid=prevYitzchakSultan: /* Obligation */2017-08-13T04:36:12Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Obligation</span></span></p>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==Obligation==</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==Obligation==</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># There is a great mitzva to comfort mourners. <ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:1. Rambam Hilchot Avel 14 seems to hold that this mitzva is only rabbinic, although Rabbeinu Yonah to the beginning of the third chapter of Brachos indicates that one fulfills a mitzvah deoraisa by comforting a mourner </ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># There is a great mitzva to comfort mourners. <ref> <ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">Sotah 14a, Rambam Avel 14:1, Shulchan Aruch YD 376:1, </ins>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:1. Rambam Hilchot Avel 14<ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">:1 </ins>seems to hold that this mitzva is only rabbinic, although Rabbeinu Yonah to the beginning of the third chapter of Brachos indicates that one fulfills a mitzvah deoraisa by comforting a mourner<ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">. </ins></ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is better to attend a mourner's house than a party.<ref>Kohelet 7:2, Aruch Hashulchan 403:8</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is better to attend a mourner's house than a party.<ref>Kohelet 7:2, Aruch Hashulchan 403:8</ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is better to comfort the mourner than to visit someone who is sick ([[Bikur Cholim]]).<ref>Rambam (Avel 14:7), Rama YD 335:10</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is better to comfort the mourner than to visit someone who is sick ([[Bikur Cholim]]).<ref>Rambam (Avel 14:7), Rama YD 335:10</ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" class="diff-side-deleted"></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;"># Included in the mitzvah of comforting the mourner is just being present.<ref>Moed Katan 21b, Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 69)</ref> However, the mitzvah can also include speaking about the good deeds of the deceased.<ref>Chazon Ovadia (Aveilut v. 3 p. 69)</ref></ins></div></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==How to Comfort the Mourner==</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==How to Comfort the Mourner==</div></td></tr>
</table>YitzchakSultanhttps://halachipedia.com/index.php?title=Comforting_the_Mourners&diff=19538&oldid=prevYitzchakSultan: /* Obligation */2017-08-13T04:31:53Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Obligation</span></span></p>
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<td colspan="2" style="background-color: #fff; color: #202122; text-align: center;">Revision as of 04:31, 13 August 2017</td>
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<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==Obligation==</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==Obligation==</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># There is a great mitzva to comfort mourners. <ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:1. Rambam Hilchot Avel 14 seems to hold that this mitzva is only rabbinic, although Rabbeinu Yonah to the beginning of the third chapter of Brachos indicates that one fulfills a mitzvah deoraisa by comforting a mourner <<del style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">br </del>/></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># There is a great mitzva to comfort mourners. <ref> Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 207:1. Rambam Hilchot Avel 14 seems to hold that this mitzva is only rabbinic, although Rabbeinu Yonah to the beginning of the third chapter of Brachos indicates that one fulfills a mitzvah deoraisa by comforting a mourner </<ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">ref</ins>></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="−"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">* As it says in Koheles 7:2, it </del>is better to attend a mourner's house than a party</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;"># It </ins>is better to attend a mourner's house than a party<ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">.<ref>Kohelet 7:2, Aruch Hashulchan 403:8</ins></ref></div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" class="diff-side-deleted"></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;"># It is better to comfort the mourner than to visit someone who is sick ([[Bikur Cholim]]).<ref>Rambam (Avel 14:7), Rama YD 335:10</ref></ins></div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" class="diff-side-deleted"></td><td class="diff-marker" data-marker="+"></td><td style="color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div> </div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==How to Comfort the Mourner==</div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>==How to Comfort the Mourner==</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is crucial to remember that the reason for one's visit to the house of mourning is to comfort the mourner(s), and so one must be considerate to their wishes.<ref>Cf. Sefer Ahavas Chessed 3:6 and Sh"T Teshuvos V'Hanhagos 3:378</ref></div></td><td class="diff-marker"></td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #202122; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div># It is crucial to remember that the reason for one's visit to the house of mourning is to comfort the mourner(s), and so one must be considerate to their wishes.<ref>Cf. Sefer Ahavas Chessed 3:6 and Sh"T Teshuvos V'Hanhagos 3:378</ref></div></td></tr>
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