Bedikot after Marriage
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Revision as of 21:05, 11 August 2020 by EZ
Bedikot after Marriage
- A woman who has a veset may not be strict to do a bedika before or after tashmish. However, when not in front of her husband and not at the time of tashmish the more the woman checks the better.
- A woman without a veset according to many authorities should check herself before and after tashmish the first three times. However, many authorities argue that no checks should be done at all. A couple should consult their rabbi as to the proper practice.
- Many poskim hold that these bedikot only need to be an external check, while some say that they need to be a thorough bedika.
- It is permitted to do a check in the crevices of the vagina after tashmish and there is no concern of hashchatat zera because that zera isn't going to cause a pregnancy anyway. He proves it from the fact that when taharot existed a woman would have to do bedikot after tashmish in the crevices of the vagina and chazal didn't say it was a problem of hashchatat zera.
Renewed Concern of Seeing during Tashmish
- If a woman once saw blood after tashmish even if it wasn’t immediately afterwards she should be concerned to check before and after tashmish. If she has a veset she only needs to check once but if she doesn’t have a veset she needs to check three times.
Who is Exempt
- A pregnant woman doesn’t need to do checks before or after tashmish.
- A woman who knows that her period is at least a certain number of days she doesn’t need to perform any bedikot before or after tashmish within that interval. For example, if she doesn’t see her period before 25 days, she doesn’t need bedikot before then.
When the 3 Bedikot Do Not Count
- If she did bedikot within the interval of days that she knows her period doesn't come prior to, (such as if her period is never less than 25 days) they don’t count towards the three bedikot that are necessary.
- These three bedikot don’t count towards her count if they were done when she was pregnant.
- In Niddah 12a, Rav Yehuda said that a woman should not be strict to do a bedika before tashmish since that will cause her husband to become agitated and will prevent them from having tashmish. Additionally, Rav Huna said a woman should not do a bedika after tashmish again because that will cause her husband to come agitated and will prevent having tashmish again. Accordingly, the Rama 184:1 rules a woman who has a veset may not be strict to do a bedika before or after tashmish. Shulchan Aruch 186:1 writes that a woman with a veset may not do a bedika before tashmish in front of her husband.
- Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 143
- The Mishna Niddah 11a writes that a woman should check herself for blood before tashmish. Shmuel in the gemara 11b holds that it is only an obligation for someone who deals with taharot (ritually pure foods and vessels) otherwise there’s no obligation to check before tashmish. This applies whether or not she has a veset.
- The gemara Niddah 12a also quotes Shmuel as saying that a woman doesn’t need checks to be pure to her husband. However, in the gemara Niddah 12b Shmuel is quoting as holding like Rabbi Chanina Ben Antiganus who required checks for a woman without a veset. The gemara is unsure if he requires checks for every women or just if a woman deals with taharot. Rashi (s.v. maan) understands the conclusion of the gemara as saying that there’s no contradiction between the statements of Shmuel and Rabbi Chanina only requires checks if a woman was dealing with taharot. However, the Rabbenu Chananel (cited by Rosh 1:5) understands the gemara as saying that there’s a contradiction between those who quoted Shmuel. Thus, he holds that a woman without a veset requires checks before and after tashmish. This is also the opinion of the Rambam (Isurei Biyah 4:16) and Rosh (Niddah 1:5). Rabbenu Tam (Sefer Hayashar no. 174) learns the gemara like Rabbenu Chananel but doesn’t necessary agree as to the halacha. However, Tosfot (12b s.v. dematni), Sefer Hatrumah (no. 94), Smag (Lavin no. 111), and Roke’ach (317 s.v. bedika) hold like Rashi.
- Furthermore, the Rif (Ketubot 60b) rules that even according to Rabbi Chanina, who we follow even for a woman who isn’t dealing with taharot, a woman only needs checks 3 times after tashmish both for her and her husband. According to the Ramban (Milchamot Ketubot 60b) and Bet Yosef 186:1 the Rif thinks that she would also need a bedika before tashmish those 3 times. If those 3 times are clean she is permitted to her husband without any more bedikot. If she sees blood all three times she is forbidden to her husband. This is also the opinion of the Ramban (Hilchot Niddah 6:1) and Rashba (Torat Habayit 7a).
- The Shulchan Aruch and Rama YD 186:1 hold like the Rif and not the Rambam or Rashi. However, the Shach 186:1 argues that we should follow the opinion of Rashi that no checks are necessary. Rabbi Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 66 and notes to The Laws and Concepts of Niddah by Rabbi Zvi Sobolofsky pg. 315) holds like the Shach. The Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 281 and Rav Ovadia in Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 146 holds like Shulchan Aruch, even though he cites the Zivchei Tzedek 186:2 who wrote that the minhag of Baghdad was like the Shach. Shoshanat Ha'amakim 7:5 writes that you should check in accordance with the opinion of Chacham Ovadia
- Chavot Daat 186:1 holds that an external check is sufficient, while the Shulchan Aruch Harav 186:6 holds that a real bedika is necessary. The Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 281 holds like the Shulchan Aruch Harav and the Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 147 like the Chavot Daat. Igrot Moshe YD 2:75 agrees with the Chavot Daat.
- Igrot Moshe YD 2:75
- The Chavot Daat 186:2 explains that seeing once even not right after tashmish that is enough to make her concerned to check afterwards, once if she has a veset, and three times if she doesn't.
- Pitchei Teshuva 186:4 citing the Maharam Paduah 25 writes that a pregnant woman doesn’t need to check before or after tashmish since she’s not supposed to see her period. Shiurei Shevet Halevi 186:2:2 considers being lenient even within the first 3 months of pregnancy.
- Trumat Hadeshen 247, Shulchan Aruch YD 186:3 unlike the Chavot Daat 186:3
- Chatom Sofer on S”A YD 186:2, Shiurei Shevet Halevi 186:2:4
- Shiurei Shevet Halevi 186:2:4