Shadchanut - Revision history

Unknown user: /* When Should this be Paid? */

2021-08-19T20:52:44Z

When Should this be Paid?

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:52, 19 August 2021
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	==When Should this be Paid?==		==When Should this be Paid?==
	# There are various customs at what point to pay the shadchan, some pay immediately after the engagement, while the others pay closer to the wedding.<ref>See Aruch Hashulchan 50:42 where he says that if one paid early and the shidduch is broken, the shadchan does not have to return the money, unless there was critical information withheld. Even Hezer 50:42. Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, Koveitz Teshuvos 1:207, says that if there is no minhag then one can wait until the wedding. Shut Halichos Yisroel 4 says that if you approached the shadchan, then you must pay immediately upon engagement.</ref> We follow the custom of each place with regards to when and how much to pay the shadchan.</ref>Rama Choshen Mishpat 185:10 and 335:1</ref>		# There are various customs at what point to pay the shadchan, some pay immediately after the engagement, while the others pay closer to the wedding.<ref>See Aruch Hashulchan 50:42 where he says that if one paid early and the shidduch is broken, the shadchan does not have to return the money, unless there was critical information withheld. Even Hezer 50:42. Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, Koveitz Teshuvos 1:207, says that if there is no minhag then one can wait until the wedding. Shut Halichos Yisroel 4 says that if you approached the shadchan, then you must pay immediately upon engagement.</ref> We follow the custom of each place with regards to when and how much to pay the shadchan.<ref>Rama Choshen Mishpat 185:10 and 335:1</ref>

	==Links==		==Links==

Dlhanon at 03:58, 24 March 2019

2019-03-24T03:58:31Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:58, 24 March 2019
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	==Background==		==Background==
	# Making a shidduch is included in the mitzvah of imitating Hashem, as He made the first shidduch between Adam and Chava<ref>Devarim 13:5 and Sotah 14A. [~~Shttps~~://www.ou.org/torah/halacha/practical-halacha/paying-shadchan-part-1/~~\| See~~ Paying Shadchan Part 1] ~~on Ou.org~~</ref>		# Making a shidduch is included in the mitzvah of imitating Hashem, as He made the first shidduch between Adam and Chava<ref>Devarim 13:5 and Sotah 14A. see [https://www.ou.org/torah/halacha/practical-halacha/paying-shadchan-part-1/ Paying Shadchan Part 1] by Rabbi Avi Zakutinsky</ref>
	# Many of these halachot may depend on the minhag. As such, of course it is important to consult one’s local rabbi.		# Many of these halachot may depend on the minhag. As such, of course it is important to consult one’s local rabbi.
	# There is an obligation to pay a shadchan for arranging a shidduch<ref>Rama Choshen Mishpat 185:10. See Sefer Hanisuin K’Hilchosa chapter 4 that many poskim say that paying a shadchan is a segulah for shalom bayis and having children. See Teshuvos V’Hanhagos 1:736 quotes that there is a custom in many sefardic communities not to pay the shadchan </ref> whether the shadchan was hired or volunteered.<ref>Biur HaGra Choshen Mishpat 185:13. There may be a violation of the mitzvah of bal talin if you fail to pay the shadchan on time if you hired the shadchan, as opposed to if the shadchan volunteered. </ref> One must pay a shadchan, even if it is a member of the family<ref>Pischei Teshuva Even HaEzer 50:16</ref>		# There is an obligation to pay a shadchan for arranging a shidduch<ref>Rama Choshen Mishpat 185:10. See Sefer Hanisuin K’Hilchosa chapter 4 that many poskim say that paying a shadchan is a segulah for shalom bayis and having children. See Teshuvos V’Hanhagos 1:736 quotes that there is a custom in many sefardic communities not to pay the shadchan </ref> whether the shadchan was hired or volunteered.<ref>Biur HaGra Choshen Mishpat 185:13. There may be a violation of the mitzvah of bal talin if you fail to pay the shadchan on time if you hired the shadchan, as opposed to if the shadchan volunteered. </ref> One must pay a shadchan, even if it is a member of the family<ref>Pischei Teshuva Even HaEzer 50:16</ref>

Dlhanon at 03:57, 24 March 2019

2019-03-24T03:57:34Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:57, 24 March 2019
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	==Background==		==Background==
	# Making a shidduch is included in the mitzvah of imitating Hashem, as He made the first shidduch between Adam and Chava<ref>Devarim 13:5 and Sotah 14A. [~~[ See https~~://www.ou.org/torah/halacha/practical-halacha/paying-shadchan-part-1/\| See Paying Shadchan Part 1]] on Ou.org</ref>		# Making a shidduch is included in the mitzvah of imitating Hashem, as He made the first shidduch between Adam and Chava<ref>Devarim 13:5 and Sotah 14A. [Shttps://www.ou.org/torah/halacha/practical-halacha/paying-shadchan-part-1/\| See Paying Shadchan Part 1] on Ou.org</ref>
	# Many of these halachot may depend on the minhag. As such, of course it is important to consult one’s local rabbi.		# Many of these halachot may depend on the minhag. As such, of course it is important to consult one’s local rabbi.
	# There is an obligation to pay a shadchan for arranging a shidduch<ref><Rama Choshen Mishpat 185:10. See Sefer Hanisuin K’Hilchosa chapter 4 that many poskim say that paying a shadchan is a segulah for shalom bayis and having children. See Teshuvos V’Hanhagos 1:736 quotes that there is a custom in many sefardic communities not to pay the shadchan </ref> whether the shadchan was hired or volunteered.<ref>Biur HaGra Choshen Mishpat 185:13. There may be a violation of the mitzvah of bal talin if you fail to pay the shadchan on time if you hired the shadchan, as opposed to if the shadchan volunteered. </ref> One must pay a shadchan, even if it is a member of the family<ref>Pischei Teshuva Even HaEzer 50:16</ref>		# There is an obligation to pay a shadchan for arranging a shidduch<ref>Rama Choshen Mishpat 185:10. See Sefer Hanisuin K’Hilchosa chapter 4 that many poskim say that paying a shadchan is a segulah for shalom bayis and having children. See Teshuvos V’Hanhagos 1:736 quotes that there is a custom in many sefardic communities not to pay the shadchan </ref> whether the shadchan was hired or volunteered.<ref>Biur HaGra Choshen Mishpat 185:13. There may be a violation of the mitzvah of bal talin if you fail to pay the shadchan on time if you hired the shadchan, as opposed to if the shadchan volunteered. </ref> One must pay a shadchan, even if it is a member of the family<ref>Pischei Teshuva Even HaEzer 50:16</ref>
	# If the shadchan does not want to receive payment, there is no obligation to pay<ref>Pischei Teshuva Even HaEzer 50:17</ref>		# If the shadchan does not want to receive payment, there is no obligation to pay<ref>Pischei Teshuva Even HaEzer 50:17</ref>

Dlhanon at 03:56, 24 March 2019

2019-03-24T03:56:53Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:56, 24 March 2019
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	# Many of these halachot may depend on the minhag. As such, of course it is important to consult one’s local rabbi.		# Many of these halachot may depend on the minhag. As such, of course it is important to consult one’s local rabbi.
	# There is an obligation to pay a shadchan for arranging a shidduch<ref><Rama Choshen Mishpat 185:10. See Sefer Hanisuin K’Hilchosa chapter 4 that many poskim say that paying a shadchan is a segulah for shalom bayis and having children. See Teshuvos V’Hanhagos 1:736 quotes that there is a custom in many sefardic communities not to pay the shadchan </ref> whether the shadchan was hired or volunteered.<ref>Biur HaGra Choshen Mishpat 185:13. There may be a violation of the mitzvah of bal talin if you fail to pay the shadchan on time if you hired the shadchan, as opposed to if the shadchan volunteered. </ref> One must pay a shadchan, even if it is a member of the family<ref>Pischei Teshuva Even HaEzer 50:16</ref>		# There is an obligation to pay a shadchan for arranging a shidduch<ref><Rama Choshen Mishpat 185:10. See Sefer Hanisuin K’Hilchosa chapter 4 that many poskim say that paying a shadchan is a segulah for shalom bayis and having children. See Teshuvos V’Hanhagos 1:736 quotes that there is a custom in many sefardic communities not to pay the shadchan </ref> whether the shadchan was hired or volunteered.<ref>Biur HaGra Choshen Mishpat 185:13. There may be a violation of the mitzvah of bal talin if you fail to pay the shadchan on time if you hired the shadchan, as opposed to if the shadchan volunteered. </ref> One must pay a shadchan, even if it is a member of the family<ref>Pischei Teshuva Even HaEzer 50:16</ref>
	# If the shadchan does not want to receive payment, there is no obligation to pay<ref>Pischei Teshuva Even HaEzer 50:17<ref>		# If the shadchan does not want to receive payment, there is no obligation to pay<ref>Pischei Teshuva Even HaEzer 50:17</ref>

	==Who Should Pay?==		==Who Should Pay?==

Dlhanon at 03:56, 24 March 2019

2019-03-24T03:56:35Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:56, 24 March 2019
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	==Background==		==Background==
	# Making a shidduch is included in the mitzvah of imitating Hashem, as He made the first shidduch between Adam and Chava<ref>Devarim 13:5 and Sotah 14A. [[ See https://www.ou.org/torah/halacha/practical-halacha/paying-shadchan-part-1/\| See Paying Shadchan Part 1]] on Ou.org		# Making a shidduch is included in the mitzvah of imitating Hashem, as He made the first shidduch between Adam and Chava<ref>Devarim 13:5 and Sotah 14A. [[ See https://www.ou.org/torah/halacha/practical-halacha/paying-shadchan-part-1/\| See Paying Shadchan Part 1]] on Ou.org</ref>
	# Many of these halachot may depend on the minhag. As such, of course it is important to consult one’s local rabbi.		# Many of these halachot may depend on the minhag. As such, of course it is important to consult one’s local rabbi.
	# There is an obligation to pay a shadchan for arranging a shidduch<ref><Rama Choshen Mishpat 185:10. See Sefer Hanisuin K’Hilchosa chapter 4 that many poskim say that paying a shadchan is a segulah for shalom bayis and having children. See Teshuvos V’Hanhagos 1:736 quotes that there is a custom in many sefardic communities not to pay the shadchan </ref> whether the shadchan was hired or volunteered.<ref>Biur HaGra Choshen Mishpat 185:13. There may be a violation of the mitzvah of bal talin if you fail to pay the shadchan on time if you hired the shadchan, as opposed to if the shadchan volunteered. </ref> One must pay a shadchan, even if it is a member of the family<ref>Pischei Teshuva Even HaEzer 50:16</ref>		# There is an obligation to pay a shadchan for arranging a shidduch<ref><Rama Choshen Mishpat 185:10. See Sefer Hanisuin K’Hilchosa chapter 4 that many poskim say that paying a shadchan is a segulah for shalom bayis and having children. See Teshuvos V’Hanhagos 1:736 quotes that there is a custom in many sefardic communities not to pay the shadchan </ref> whether the shadchan was hired or volunteered.<ref>Biur HaGra Choshen Mishpat 185:13. There may be a violation of the mitzvah of bal talin if you fail to pay the shadchan on time if you hired the shadchan, as opposed to if the shadchan volunteered. </ref> One must pay a shadchan, even if it is a member of the family<ref>Pischei Teshuva Even HaEzer 50:16</ref>

Dlhanon at 03:52, 24 March 2019

2019-03-24T03:52:17Z

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-# The payment of a shadchan is like a worker who arranged a deal and is paid for his input.<ref>See Shulchan Aruch CM 185, Pitchei Teshuva 185:3</ref> Many of these halachot may depend on the minhag. As such, of course it is important to consult one’s local rabbi.
+==Background==
 # If one person makes the suggestion to the parties and another person is the go-between the person who made the suggestion should get a third of the shadchanut and the go-between two-thirds.<Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 242)</ref>
 # If one person made the suggestion, another was the go-between in the beginning and another was the go-between at the end, all three split the shadchanut.<Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 242)</ref>
@@ Line 5: / Line 14: @@
 # If the boy or girl’s side made a suggestion to the shadchan who made the suggestion to the other side and acted as a shadchan, the boy or girl’s side who originally made the suggestion isn’t entitled to shadchanut. <Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 242)</ref>
 # If a shidduch falls apart and then gets back together with another shadchan, if the second relationship was built upon the original relationship then both shadchanim split the shadchanut. However, if the original relationship was forgotten and had no impact on the second one then only the second shadchan gets the shadchanut.<Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 243)</ref>
 # The amount of the shadchanut depends on the place. If in the boy’s place it is one amount and the girl’s it is another, unless they specified an amount from the beginning, the shadchanut is the lesser of the two amounts.<Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 243)</ref>
-# If a shadchan was paid after the engagement and unfortunately the couple broke up before the wedding the shadchan doesn’t need to give back the shadchanut. <Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 243)</ref>
 ==Sources==
 <references/>

Dlhanon at 03:37, 24 March 2019

2019-03-24T03:37:19Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:37, 24 March 2019
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	# If a shadchan was paid after the engagement and unfortunately the couple broke up before the wedding the shadchan doesn’t need to give back the shadchanut. <Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 243)</ref>		# If a shadchan was paid after the engagement and unfortunately the couple broke up before the wedding the shadchan doesn’t need to give back the shadchanut. <Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 243)</ref>
	==Sources==		==Sources==
	</~~references~~>		<references/>

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2017-04-02T03:13:56Z

Created page with "# The payment of a shadchan is like a worker who arranged a deal and is paid for his input.<ref>See Shulchan Aruch CM 185, Pitchei Teshuva 185:3</ref> Many of these halachot m..."

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# The payment of a shadchan is like a worker who arranged a deal and is paid for his input.<ref>See Shulchan Aruch CM 185, Pitchei Teshuva 185:3</ref> Many of these halachot may depend on the minhag. As such, of course it is important to consult one’s local rabbi.
# If one person makes the suggestion to the parties and another person is the go-between the person who made the suggestion should get a third of the shadchanut and the go-between two-thirds.<Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 242)</ref>
# If one person made the suggestion, another was the go-between in the beginning and another was the go-between at the end, all three split the shadchanut.<Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 242)</ref>
# If someone made the suggestion for someone else to present to each side and then acts as the go-between the original person who made the suggestion isn’t entitled to a shadchanut from the strict law but it is the minhag to give shadchanut to that person as well.<Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 242)</ref>
# If the boy or girl’s side made a suggestion to the shadchan who made the suggestion to the other side and acted as a shadchan, the boy or girl’s side who originally made the suggestion isn’t entitled to shadchanut. <Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 242)</ref>
# If a shidduch falls apart and then gets back together with another shadchan, if the second relationship was built upon the original relationship then both shadchanim split the shadchanut. However, if the original relationship was forgotten and had no impact on the second one then only the second shadchan gets the shadchanut.<Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 243)</ref>
# The amount of the shadchanut depends on the place. If in the boy’s place it is one amount and the girl’s it is another, unless they specified an amount from the beginning, the shadchanut is the lesser of the two amounts.<Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 243)</ref>
# If a shadchan was paid after the engagement and unfortunately the couple broke up before the wedding the shadchan doesn’t need to give back the shadchanut. <Ref>Chut Shani (Shabbat v. 3 p. 243)</ref>
==Sources==
</references>