Harchakot of Niddah - Revision history

YitzchakSultan1 at 14:01, 18 June 2025

2025-06-18T14:01:06Z

Unknown user: /* Hearing her Sing */

2023-04-20T03:54:56Z

Hearing her Sing

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:54, 20 April 2023
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	==Hearing her Sing==		==Hearing her Sing==
	#There is a dispute if a husband can listen to my wife sing when she is a niddah. The same dispute is relevant to singing zemiros Shabbos together.<ref>[https://ph.yhb.org.il/category/טהרת-המשפחה/18-03/ Peninei Halacha (Niddah 3:3)] writes that listening to her sing normally or sing zemiros is permitted, though some are strict.</ref>		#There is a dispute if a husband can listen to his wife sing when she is a niddah. The same dispute is relevant to singing zemiros Shabbos together.<ref>[https://ph.yhb.org.il/category/טהרת-המשפחה/18-03/ Peninei Halacha (Niddah 3:3)] writes that listening to her sing normally or sing zemiros is permitted, though some are strict.</ref>
	#According to those who allow listening to one's wife sing when she's a niddah, it is likewise permitted to hear her play a musical instrument.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:40</ref> However, those who are strict on listening to her sing would also be strict on listening to her play an instrument if it could lead to endearment.<ref>Shiurei Shevet Halevi 195:6:2</ref>		#According to those who allow listening to one's wife sing when she's a niddah, it is likewise permitted to hear her play a musical instrument.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:40</ref> However, those who are strict on listening to her sing would also be strict on listening to her play an instrument if it could lead to endearment.<ref>Shiurei Shevet Halevi 195:6:2</ref>
	See also [[Listening_to_Women_Sing#Married_Women\|Listening to Women Sing: Married Women]].		See also [[Listening_to_Women_Sing#Married_Women\|Listening to Women Sing: Married Women]].

Unknown user: /* Eating from the Same Plate */

2023-01-06T13:46:47Z

Eating from the Same Plate

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:46, 6 January 2023
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	#The Rabbis also forbade couples from sharing a plate while eating together.<ref>Rambam (Isurei Biah 11:18), Rama (195:4,14) </ref> This prohibition applies at all times, even while dining with others.<ref>Masat Binyamin (112) writes that even if others are at the same table this prohibition may not be compromised.		#The Rabbis also forbade couples from sharing a plate while eating together.<ref>Rambam (Isurei Biah 11:18), Rama (195:4,14) </ref> This prohibition applies at all times, even while dining with others.<ref>Masat Binyamin (112) writes that even if others are at the same table this prohibition may not be compromised.

	Pitchei Teshuva (195:5) asks: what was the need of this ruling, aren't leftovers of one's spouse anyhow forbidden? Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe 1:92) explains that the Masat Binyamin speaks of where the food is small portions where although there is no prohibition of eating her leftovers, this prohibition applies. </ref>		Pitchei Teshuva (195:5) asks: what was the need of this ruling, aren't leftovers of one's spouse anyhow forbidden? Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe 1:92) explains that the Masat Binyamin speaks of where the food is small portions where although there is no prohibition of eating her leftovers, this prohibition applies. </ref>
	#They may use a shared central serving platter, provided they place the food on their own plates or on the table before eating.<ref>Taz (Yoreh Deah 195:2), Darchei Tahara (pg. 45), Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 117)</ref>		#They may use a shared central serving platter, provided they place the food on their own plates or on the table before eating.<ref>Taz (Yoreh Deah 195:2), Darchei Tahara (pg. 45), Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 117)</ref>
			#They may not eat from the same serving bowl unless they first put it down on their own plates. Similarly, if there is a serving bowl with rolls or fruits they can each take from it even without placing it down on a plate, though some are strict in this case.<reF>Mishmeret Hatahara 195:39</ref>
	#They may dip their bread in a shared salt dish.<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 118) </ref>		#They may dip their bread in a shared salt dish.<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 118) </ref>

Unknown user: /* Drinking or Eating a Spouse's Leftovers */

2023-01-06T13:43:54Z

Drinking or Eating a Spouse's Leftovers

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:43, 6 January 2023
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	#Most Sephardic authorities restrict this prohibition to drinking only and do not extend it to food.<ref>This is the opinion of the Orchot Chaim, quoted by the Bet Yosef (195:4). The Sidrei Tahara 195:8 explains that the eating of food leftovers in not ordinarily done, and it therefore does not cause endearment. See Ben Ish Chai (vol. 2, Prashat Tzav, no. 22) who rules that one should not eat his wife's leftovers as well. Rabbi Ovadia Yosef in Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 125) and Halichot Olam (vol. 5, pg. 107) writes that the prevailing Sephardic custom was to be lenient in this regard. </ref> Ashkenazim, however, prohibit eating leftovers of her food as well.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:3), Shach (195:8) </ref>		#Most Sephardic authorities restrict this prohibition to drinking only and do not extend it to food.<ref>This is the opinion of the Orchot Chaim, quoted by the Bet Yosef (195:4). The Sidrei Tahara 195:8 explains that the eating of food leftovers in not ordinarily done, and it therefore does not cause endearment. See Ben Ish Chai (vol. 2, Prashat Tzav, no. 22) who rules that one should not eat his wife's leftovers as well. Rabbi Ovadia Yosef in Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 125) and Halichot Olam (vol. 5, pg. 107) writes that the prevailing Sephardic custom was to be lenient in this regard. </ref> Ashkenazim, however, prohibit eating leftovers of her food as well.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:3), Shach (195:8) </ref>
	#According to Ashkenazic custom, if the wife ate from a dish often classified as one, such as finely cut vegetables, anything left over is prohibited to the husband. If, however, a plate contains two large particles of food, and the wife only ate from one, the husband may indulge in the other.<ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah 1:92), Badei Hashulchan (195:51)</ref>		#According to Ashkenazic custom, if the wife ate from a dish often classified as one, such as finely cut vegetables, anything left over is prohibited to the husband. If, however, a plate contains two large particles of food, and the wife only ate from one, the husband may indulge in the other.<ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah 1:92), Badei Hashulchan (195:51)</ref>
			##For example, if a husband and wife cut up a large loaf of bread, which is meant for more than one person, it is permitted for each of them to each from their own slice since it is meant for multiple people. However, a small roll which is meant for one person cannot be split.<ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah 1:92), Badei Hashulchan (195:51)</ref>
	#According to Ashkenazic custom, if the wife took butter or the like with a utensil, and then returned the knife with extra butter on it to the butter dish, it would then be forbidden for her husband to use that butter.<ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah 1:92), Mishmeret Hatahara (195:39). He does however quote Rabbi Elyashiv saying that the leftover spread on the knife is not considered leftovers. See Iggrot Moshe (ibid.) who writes that ideally couples should not share a butter dish, although it is Halachically permitted. </ref> Some are lenient.<Ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:51</ref>		#According to Ashkenazic custom, if the wife took butter or the like with a utensil, and then returned the knife with extra butter on it to the butter dish, it would then be forbidden for her husband to use that butter.<ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah 1:92), Mishmeret Hatahara (195:39). He does however quote Rabbi Elyashiv saying that the leftover spread on the knife is not considered leftovers. See Iggrot Moshe (ibid.) who writes that ideally couples should not share a butter dish, although it is Halachically permitted. </ref> Some are lenient.<Ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:51</ref>

Unknown user: /* Drinking or Eating a Spouse's Leftovers */

2023-01-06T13:33:21Z

Drinking or Eating a Spouse's Leftovers

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:33, 6 January 2023
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	#The Rabbis also prohibited the husband from drinking his wife's leftovers, as this is an act that denotes endearment.<ref>Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 195:4) </ref> This restriction applies specifically to the male, the wife however, may eat or drink her husband's leftovers.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:4). The Taz 195:5 explains that this act only denotes endearment to males drinking their wives leftovers and not the other way around.</ref>		#The Rabbis also prohibited the husband from drinking his wife's leftovers, as this is an act that denotes endearment.<ref>Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 195:4) </ref> This restriction applies specifically to the male, the wife however, may eat or drink her husband's leftovers.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:4). The Taz 195:5 explains that this act only denotes endearment to males drinking their wives leftovers and not the other way around.</ref>
	#The husband may partake of his wife's leftovers in any of the following circumstances:		#The husband may partake of his wife's leftovers in any of the following circumstances:
	#*The drink was transferred to another utensil. This is ~~beneficial~~ even if the contents were then poured back into the original utensil.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:4), Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pp. 125-127)</ref>		#*The drink was transferred to another utensil. This is permitted even if the contents were then poured back into the original utensil.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:4), Badei Hashulchan 195:65, Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pp. 125-127). Badei Hashulchan 195:67 adds that it is permitted to intentionally pour it from one utensil to another to make it permitted.</ref>
	#*If someone else drank from the cup after her drinking, separating between their drinking.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:4) </ref>		#*If someone else drank from the cup after her drinking, separating between their drinking.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:4) </ref>
	#*He is not aware that she drank from this utensil (she need not inform him)<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 125). The reason for this is because if he is not aware that she drank from this cup, his action carries no connotation of endearment. </ref>		#*He is not aware that she drank from this utensil (she need not inform him)<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 125). The reason for this is because if he is not aware that she drank from this cup, his action carries no connotation of endearment. </ref>

Unknown user: /* Drinking or Eating a Spouse's Leftovers */

2023-01-06T13:29:15Z

Drinking or Eating a Spouse's Leftovers

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:29, 6 January 2023
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	#Most Sephardic authorities restrict this prohibition to drinking only and do not extend it to food.<ref>This is the opinion of the Orchot Chaim, quoted by the Bet Yosef (195:4). The Sidrei Tahara 195:8 explains that the eating of food leftovers in not ordinarily done, and it therefore does not cause endearment. See Ben Ish Chai (vol. 2, Prashat Tzav, no. 22) who rules that one should not eat his wife's leftovers as well. Rabbi Ovadia Yosef in Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 125) and Halichot Olam (vol. 5, pg. 107) writes that the prevailing Sephardic custom was to be lenient in this regard. </ref> Ashkenazim, however, prohibit eating leftovers of her food as well.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:3), Shach (195:8) </ref>		#Most Sephardic authorities restrict this prohibition to drinking only and do not extend it to food.<ref>This is the opinion of the Orchot Chaim, quoted by the Bet Yosef (195:4). The Sidrei Tahara 195:8 explains that the eating of food leftovers in not ordinarily done, and it therefore does not cause endearment. See Ben Ish Chai (vol. 2, Prashat Tzav, no. 22) who rules that one should not eat his wife's leftovers as well. Rabbi Ovadia Yosef in Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 125) and Halichot Olam (vol. 5, pg. 107) writes that the prevailing Sephardic custom was to be lenient in this regard. </ref> Ashkenazim, however, prohibit eating leftovers of her food as well.<ref>Rama (Yoreh Deah 195:3), Shach (195:8) </ref>
	#According to Ashkenazic custom, if the wife ate from a dish often classified as one, such as finely cut vegetables, anything left over is prohibited to the husband. If, however, a plate contains two large particles of food, and the wife only ate from one, the husband may indulge in the other.<ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah 1:92), Badei Hashulchan (195:51)</ref>		#According to Ashkenazic custom, if the wife ate from a dish often classified as one, such as finely cut vegetables, anything left over is prohibited to the husband. If, however, a plate contains two large particles of food, and the wife only ate from one, the husband may indulge in the other.<ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah 1:92), Badei Hashulchan (195:51)</ref>
	#According to Ashkenazic custom, if the wife took butter or the like with a utensil, and then returned the knife with extra butter on it to the butter dish, it would then be forbidden for her husband to use that butter.<ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah 1:92), Mishmeret Hatahara (195:39). He does however quote Rabbi Elyashiv saying that the leftover spread on the knife is not considered leftovers. See Iggrot Moshe (ibid.) who writes that ideally couples should not share a butter dish, although it is Halachically permitted. </ref>		#According to Ashkenazic custom, if the wife took butter or the like with a utensil, and then returned the knife with extra butter on it to the butter dish, it would then be forbidden for her husband to use that butter.<ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah 1:92), Mishmeret Hatahara (195:39). He does however quote Rabbi Elyashiv saying that the leftover spread on the knife is not considered leftovers. See Iggrot Moshe (ibid.) who writes that ideally couples should not share a butter dish, although it is Halachically permitted. </ref> Some are lenient.<Ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:51</ref>

	==Using the Spouse's Bed==		==Using the Spouse's Bed==

Unknown user: /* Summary of Harchakot */

2023-01-06T13:27:17Z

Summary of Harchakot

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:27, 6 January 2023
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	! Activity !! Wife to/for Husband !! Husband to/for Wife !! Not in Spouse's Presence		! Activity !! Wife to/for Husband !! Husband to/for Wife !! Not in Spouse's Presence
	\|-		\|-
	\| Eating Spouse's Leftovers \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted<ref>Rama 195:4, Taz 195:5</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted<ref>Rama 195:4</ref>		\| Eating Spouse's Leftovers \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted<ref>Rama 195:4, Taz 195:5, Badei Hashulchan 195:52</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted<ref>Rama 195:4</ref>
	\|-		\|-
	\| Sitting on the Spouse's Bed \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted<ref>Taz 195:6</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:5</ref>		\| Sitting on the Spouse's Bed \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted<ref>Taz 195:6</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:5</ref>

Unknown user: /* Hearing her Sing */

2022-08-19T15:02:40Z

Hearing her Sing

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:02, 19 August 2022
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	==Hearing her Sing==		==Hearing her Sing==
	~~see [[Listening_to_Women_Sing~~#~~Married_Women\|Listening~~ to ~~Women Sing~~: ~~Married Women~~]]		#There is a dispute if a husband can listen to my wife sing when she is a niddah. The same dispute is relevant to singing zemiros Shabbos together.<ref>[https://ph.yhb.org.il/category/טהרת-המשפחה/18-03/ Peninei Halacha (Niddah 3:3)] writes that listening to her sing normally or sing zemiros is permitted, though some are strict.</ref>

	#According to those who allow listening to one's wife sing when she's a niddah, it is likewise permitted to hear her play a musical instrument.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:40</ref> However, those who are strict on listening to her sing would also be strict on listening to her play an instrument if it could lead to endearment.<ref>Shiurei Shevet Halevi 195:6:2</ref>		#According to those who allow listening to one's wife sing when she's a niddah, it is likewise permitted to hear her play a musical instrument.<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:40</ref> However, those who are strict on listening to her sing would also be strict on listening to her play an instrument if it could lead to endearment.<ref>Shiurei Shevet Halevi 195:6:2</ref>
			See also [[Listening_to_Women_Sing#Married_Women\|Listening to Women Sing: Married Women]].

	==Smelling her Perfume==		==Smelling her Perfume==

Unknown user: /* Summary of Harchakot */

2022-08-16T15:45:49Z

Summary of Harchakot

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:45, 16 August 2022
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	\| Looking at Spouse's Usually Covered Body Parts \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:7</ref> \|\| N/A		\| Looking at Spouse's Usually Covered Body Parts \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:7</ref> \|\| N/A
	\|-		\|-
	\| Pouring Drinks (and Serving Food) for Spouse \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:13, Badei Hashulchan 195:159, Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 188</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\|		\| Pouring Drinks (and Serving Food) for Spouse \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:13, Badei Hashulchan 195:159, Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 188</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted<ref>Rama 195:10, Shach 195:14. Shach rejects Bach who is strict.</ref>
	\|-		\|-
	\| Making Spouse's Bed \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:57</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:11</ref>		\| Making Spouse's Bed \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:57</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:11</ref>
	\|-		\|-
	\| Pouring Water upon Spouse \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:61</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\| Dispute<ref>Shach 195:14 holds that it is forbidden to prepare water for one's spouse's bath, while Taz 195:8 is lenient.</ref>		\| Pouring Water upon Spouse \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:61</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\| style="background-color:#ffffc7;" \| Dispute<ref>Shach 195:14 holds that it is forbidden to prepare water for one's spouse's bath, while Taz 195:8 is lenient.</ref>
	\|-		\|-
	\|}		\|}

	==A Niddah Going to Shul and Cemeteries==		==A Niddah Going to Shul and Cemeteries==

Unknown user: /* A Niddah Going to Shul and Cemeteries */

2022-08-16T15:42:38Z

A Niddah Going to Shul and Cemeteries

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:42, 16 August 2022
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	#Some say that sending a drink to your wife only applies to wine,<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:13, Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 191</ref> others extend it to other important drinks.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:163</ref>		#Some say that sending a drink to your wife only applies to wine,<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:13, Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 191</ref> others extend it to other important drinks.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 195:163</ref>

			==Summary of Harchakot==
			{\| class="wikitable"
			\|-
			! Activity !! Wife to/for Husband !! Husband to/for Wife !! Not in Spouse's Presence
			\|-
			\| Eating Spouse's Leftovers \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted<ref>Rama 195:4, Taz 195:5</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted<ref>Rama 195:4</ref>
			\|-
			\| Sitting on the Spouse's Bed \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted<ref>Taz 195:6</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:5</ref>
			\|-
			\| Lying on the Spouse's Bed \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Taz 195:6</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:5</ref>
			\|-
			\| Looking at Spouse's Usually Covered Body Parts \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:7</ref> \|\| N/A
			\|-
			\| Pouring Drinks (and Serving Food) for Spouse \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:13, Badei Hashulchan 195:159, Taharat Habayit v. 2 p. 188</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\|
			\|-
			\| Making Spouse's Bed \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:57</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\| style="background-color:#9aff99;" \| Permitted<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:11</ref>
			\|-
			\| Pouring Water upon Spouse \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden<ref>Taharat Yosef 3:61</ref> \|\| style="background-color:#ffccc9;" \| Forbidden \|\| Dispute<ref>Shach 195:14 holds that it is forbidden to prepare water for one's spouse's bath, while Taz 195:8 is lenient.</ref>
			\|-
			\|}
	==A Niddah Going to Shul and Cemeteries==		==A Niddah Going to Shul and Cemeteries==

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:01, 18 June 2025
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	===Eating at the Same Table===		===Eating at the Same Table===

	#Couples dining often suggests intimacy. The Rabbis therefore called for caution in such an intimate setting, forming the restriction of eating at the same table without a physical reminder (often called: "heker") of the niddah status. Examples of such reminders include: placing an object or food item on the table that is not normally kept there and will not be used during the meal,<ref>Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 195:3), Taharat Habayit (vol. 1, pg. 119). See also The Laws of Niddah (Rabbi Nacson, pg. 33)		#Couples dining often suggests intimacy. The Rabbis therefore called for caution in such an intimate setting, forming the restriction of eating at the same table without a physical reminder (often called: "''heker''") of the niddah status. Examples of such reminders include: placing an object or food item on the table that is not normally kept there and will not be used during the meal,<ref>Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 195:3), Taharat Habayit (vol. 1, pg. 119). See also The Laws of Niddah (Rabbi Nacson, pg. 33)

	*The Mishna Shabbat ~~11b~~ establishes that it is forbidden for a man to eat with his wife when she is a zavah so that they don't come to sin.		*The Mishna Shabbat 11a establishes that it is forbidden for a man to eat with his wife when she is a zavah so that they don't come to sin.
	*The Rambam writes that it is forbidden for a man to eat on the same ~~place~~ as his wife when she is a niddah. However, the Raavad ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8785&st=&pgnum=8 Shaar Haperisha no. 1]) argues that it is forbidden even on the same table. Ramban (Hilchot Niddah 8:3), Tur and Shulchan Aruch YD 195:3 follow the Raavad.		*The Rambam (Isurei Biyah 11:18) writes that it is forbidden for a man to eat on the same plate as his wife when she is a niddah. Meiri (Ketubot 4b) agrees and writes that according to this it is permitted for them to eat at the same table if the table is large enough to accommodate two normally. However, the Raavad ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8785&st=&pgnum=8 Shaar Haperisha no. 1]) argues that it is forbidden even on the same table. He writes this in his commentary to Rambam as well and adds that the Shiltot agreed with him. Ramban (Hilchot Niddah 8:3), Tur and Shulchan Aruch YD 195:3 follow the Raavad.
	*Does Heker Work? The Ravyah (Niddah no. 173) writes that it is forbidden for a man to eat with his wife when she is a niddah even if there is something unusual on the table to remind them. He writes that the rabbis of Narvona agreed with him. The Hagahot Mordechai (Shabbat no. 452) cites this opinion. The Gra YD 195:8 and 88:2 discusses these opinions and their proof from Shabbat 13a. However, the Raavad ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8785&st=&pgnum=8 Shaar Haperisha no. 1]) holds that it is permitted for a husband to eat at the same table with a niddah as long as there is something to remind them such as only one eating on the tablecloth. The Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=9381&st=&pgnum=346 Torat Habayit 3b]), Tur and Shulchan Aruch 195:3 agree. See the Ramban (Hilchot Niddah 8:3) who allows using something unusual only if there's no other table available.		*Does Heker Work? The Ravyah (Niddah no. 173) writes that it is forbidden for a man to eat with his wife when she is a niddah even if there is something unusual on the table to remind them. He writes that the rabbis of Narvona agreed with him. The Hagahot Mordechai (Shabbat no. 452) cites this opinion. The Gra YD 195:8 and 88:2 discusses these opinions and their proof from Shabbat 13a. However, the Raavad ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8785&st=&pgnum=8 Shaar Haperisha no. 1]) holds that it is permitted for a husband to eat at the same table with a niddah as long as there is something to remind them such as only one eating on the tablecloth. The Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=9381&st=&pgnum=346 Torat Habayit 3b]), Tur and Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 195:3 agree. See the Ramban (Hilchot Niddah 8:3) who allows using something unusual only if there's no other table available.
	*What this dispute might be based on? The Sidrei Tahara 195:7 explains that there's two concerns of eating at the same table. The first is that merely eating together is a symbol of endearment. The second is that by eating together at the table they might come to share food on the same plate as we find by eating milk and meat at the same table. He tries to show that this was a dispute between the Raah and Rashba and that the Rosh was concerned for both approaches. According to the first approach, the Sidrei Tahara concludes, that having something unusual on the table is ineffective since either way their eating together will still cause endearment. But according to the second approach as long as there is something unusual on the table they will remember not to share food.</ref> eating on separate place-mats (if they do not regularly do so)<ref>Yesod Hatahara p. 12</ref> and the changing of seats if if they typically have designated places.<ref>The Rabbenu Yerucham (cited by Bet Yosef 195:3) rules that it is permitted to eat at the same table while seated different from where they typically sit. Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 153:6 and Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 119) hold like Rabbenu Yerucham. See Badei Hashulchan (195:37) however who writes that some are strict not to rely on this leniency.</ref> Sitting far apart from each other on a long table also serves as a sufficient reminder.<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 110), The Laws of Niddah (Rabbi Nacson, pg. 33)</ref>		*What this dispute might be based on? The Sidrei Tahara 195:7 explains that there's two concerns of eating at the same table. The first is that merely eating together is a symbol of endearment. The second is that by eating together at the table they might come to share food on the same plate as we find by eating milk and meat at the same table. He tries to show that this was a dispute between the Raah and Rashba and that the Rosh was concerned for both approaches. According to the first approach, the Sidrei Tahara concludes, that having something unusual on the table is ineffective since either way their eating together will still cause endearment. But according to the second approach as long as there is something unusual on the table they will remember not to share food.</ref> eating on separate place-mats (if they do not regularly do so)<ref>Yesod Hatahara p. 12</ref> and the changing of seats if if they typically have designated places.<ref>The Rabbenu Yerucham (cited by Bet Yosef 195:3) rules that it is permitted to eat at the same table while seated different from where they typically sit. Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 153:6 and Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 119) hold like Rabbenu Yerucham. See Badei Hashulchan (195:37) however who writes that some are strict not to rely on this leniency.</ref> Sitting far apart from each other on a long table also serves as a sufficient reminder.<ref>Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 110), The Laws of Niddah (Rabbi Nacson, pg. 33)</ref>
	#According to some authorities, this requirement is not needed when dining accompanied by other adults or with children old enough to be embarrassed by intimate behavior.<ref>Masat Binyamin (112, quoted by the Pitchei Teshuva 195:3) considers the presence of others as a heker. Shiurei Bracha (195:11), Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 110), Darkei Tahara (pg. 44) rule this way as well. Rabbi Mordechai Willig ([http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/877146/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-125-eating-at-the-same-table/ Niddah Shiur 125]) is lenient regarding this as well.		#According to some authorities, this requirement is not needed when dining accompanied by other adults or with children old enough to be embarrassed by intimate behavior.<ref>Masat Binyamin (112, quoted by the Pitchei Teshuva 195:3) considers the presence of others as a heker. Shiurei Bracha (195:11), Taharat Habayit (vol. 2, pg. 110), Darkei Tahara (pg. 44) rule this way as well. Rabbi Mordechai Willig ([http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/877146/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-125-eating-at-the-same-table/ Niddah Shiur 125]) is lenient regarding this as well.
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	*Shitah Mikubeset (Ketubot 61 s.v. vekatvu, from Talmidei Rabbenu Yonah) explains that the reason it is forbidden for a man to pass something to his wife (and vice versa) when she is a niddah is because passing an object is like touching.		*Shitah Mikubeset (Ketubot 61 s.v. vekatvu, from Talmidei Rabbenu Yonah) explains that the reason it is forbidden for a man to pass something to his wife (and vice versa) when she is a niddah is because passing an object is like touching.
	*Tosfot (Ketubot 61a s.v. biymey) writes that Rashi personally was careful not to pass anything to his wife when she was a niddah. Tosfot however argue and permit this. The Rashba (Torat Habayit Hakatzar 4a) and Rosh (Ketubot 5:24) are strict. Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 195:2) rules ~~likewise~~.		*Meiri (Ketubot 4b) writes that the reason for not passing is because it could lead to intimate feelings.
			*Tosfot (Ketubot 61a s.v. biymey) writes that Rashi personally was careful not to pass anything to his wife when she was a niddah. Tosfot, however, argue and permit this. Meiri (Ketubot 4b) agrees that it isn't halachic but a praiseworthy practice. The Rashba (Torat Habayit Hakatzar 4a) and Rosh (Ketubot 5:24) are strict that a man may not pass something to his wife when she's a niddah and vice versa. Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 195:2) rules like Rashi, Rashba, and Rosh.
	</ref> This restriction must be followed even while in public.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 98. Rav Moshe Feinstein in Igrot Moshe YD 2:77 writes that a couple may not be lenient on harchakot so that she's not embarrassed because harchakot aren't so embarrassing and also they are part of halacha and we shouldn't be embarrassed to keep halacha. [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/876990/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-123-passing-things-leniencies-putting-things-in-pocketbook-and-passing-babies/ Rav Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 123, min. 15-20)] disagreed and held that [[kavod habriyot]] could be used to permit harchakot in public when it is embarrassing and not in private. </ref>		</ref> This restriction must be followed even while in public.<ref>Torat HaTaharah p. 98. Rav Moshe Feinstein in Igrot Moshe YD 2:77 writes that a couple may not be lenient on harchakot so that she's not embarrassed because harchakot aren't so embarrassing and also they are part of halacha and we shouldn't be embarrassed to keep halacha. [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/876990/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-123-passing-things-leniencies-putting-things-in-pocketbook-and-passing-babies/ Rav Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 123, min. 15-20)] disagreed and held that [[kavod habriyot]] could be used to permit harchakot in public when it is embarrassing and not in private. </ref>
	#Ashkenazic custom is to be stringent not to lift an object together. If however a large object, such as a baby carriage, needs to be lifted, and the husband and wife are the only ones available, they may carry it together, provided they take care not to touch. <ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah vol. 2, no. 75)</ref> Sephardic custom, however, is to be lenient allowing the carrying of heavy items together.<ref>Torat Hataharah (pg. 117) </ref>		#Ashkenazic custom is to be stringent not to lift an object together. If however a large object, such as a baby carriage, needs to be lifted, and the husband and wife are the only ones available, they may carry it together, provided they take care not to touch. <ref>Igrot Moshe (Yoreh Deah vol. 2, no. 75)</ref> Sephardic custom, however, is to be lenient allowing the carrying of heavy items together.<ref>Torat Hataharah (pg. 117) </ref>