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Veset

2025-12-03T16:36:33Z

User792: Added Rav Sobolofsky's opinion

After the woman went to the mikveh and has not yet seen any blood there is time when she is expecting her next period during which she is forbidden to her husband. That day when she is considered to be expecting her period is called a [[Veset]] (plural: vestot). If it is established as a pattern (veset kavuah) it is treated more seriously, while if that day isn't established in some pattern there are a few days on which she is considered to be anticipating her period (veset sheino kavuah).<ref>The Gemara in Masechet Shevuot 18b establishes the requirement for a husband and wife to abstain from intimacy at certain times when the onset of the wife’s menstrual flow is anticipated. based on the pasuk (Vayikra 15:31), “Ve’hizartem Et Beneh Yisrael Mi’tum’atam” (“You shall separate the Israelites from their impurity”). The Gemara explained this verse to mean that one must separate from his wife on the occasions when she is prone to becoming impure. Even though no blood has been sighted, and, as such, the wife is still Tehora, the couple may not engage in intimacy, given the likelihood of the wife’s becoming Nidda during these periods.</ref>
==A Woman without an Established Veset Pattern==
[[File:Veset.jpg|thumb|Onah Beynonit on ל, Chodesh on א, and Haflagah of 33 on ג]]

#Most women today don't see their period in a regular pattern. If that is the case, there are 3 concerns of veset that apply to such a woman: Onah Beynonit (regular period), Chodesh (monthly pattern), and Haflagah (interval pattern). Each of these apply from the last time she saw her period.

===Onah Beynonit===

#A woman who doesn't have a fixed veset (established with 3 times), which is very common, has to observe a veset on the 30th day from her last period and that is called an Onah Beynonit.<ref>*Rashi Niddah 15a s.v. Bitoch explains that a woman is concerned about a 30 day veset since by default that's when a woman sees her period. The Ramban (Chiddushim 15a s.v. vehu) supports this opinion from the Yerushalmi Niddah 2:4. The Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8922&st=&pgnum=367 Torat Habayit 15a]) based on Rashi writes that any woman who doesn't have a fixed veset needs to be concerned about the Onah Beynonit. The Ran Shevuot 4b-5a s.v. garsinan understood Rashi that there's an Onah Beynonit even if a woman has a fixed veset but argues that the concern of Onah Beynonit should only exist if she doesn't have a fixed veset. The idea of an Onah Beynonit is codified by the Tur and Shulchan Aruch 189:1.
*The Shach 189:30 quotes many rishonim who don't quote the concept of Onah Beynonit. Furthermore, he concludes the Onah Beynonit will almost always fall out at the same time as the veset hachodesh. Sidrei Tahara 189:12 offers a few cases where they don't align. The Chacham Tzvi 114 argues with the Shach and defends Shulchan Aruch. Pri Deah (Siftei Levi 189:30) writes that the majority of poskim do not hold like the Shach. Chochmat Adam 112:5 is strict for the Shach and Shulchan Aruch.</ref>
#Some poskim also count the 31st day as the Onah Beynonit.<ref>The Chavot Daat 189:12 doesn't accept the Shach's major premise but accepts another aspect of his approach which is that the Oneh Beynonit isn't on the 30th day as is the opinion of Shulchan Aruch but that it is the 31st day. Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 155:3 adopts the opinion of the Chavot Daat to calculate the Onah Beynonit as the 31st day exclusively. Rav Hershel Schachter (notes to Laws and Concepts of Niddah by Rabbi Zvi Sobolofsky page 308) says to be machmir to separate on both days 30 and 31. Badei Hashulchan 189:8 writes that one should be strict to separate on day 30 and day 31, except in an extenuating circumstances in which case one should be strict only for day 30.</ref> Sephardim aren't concerned for this opinion.<ref>Rav Ovadia Yosef in Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 77 accepts Shulchan Aruch that the Onah Beynonit is the 30th day. Rabbi Lehbar (Magen Avot YD p. 130) writes that Moroccans also keep the 30th day.</ref>
#If a woman always sees past the 30th day some poskim believe that she doesn't need to worry about the Onah Beynonit. However, many poskim hold that she still needs to worry about her Onah Beynonit.<ref>The Taharat Yisrael 186:13 writes that once a woman always sees past the 30th day we can establish her as having a pattern of not seeing before then. If so, she doesn't need to be concerned about the Onah Beynonit on the 30th day. This idea is also found in the Trumat Hadeshen 247 and Shulchan Aruch YD 186:3. See also Ritva Niddah 15a s.v. amar rabbi shimon. Rav Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe YD 2:72), Rav Ovadia Yosef (Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 150), and [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/868501/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-51-negative-veset-onah-beynonit/ Rabbi Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 51)] accept this leniency. However, many achronim disagree and write that this idea of the Trumat Hadeshen only applies to not having to do a bedika before tashmish but not for the topic of veset. This is the opinion of the Chelkat Yakov 2:74, Minchat Yitzchak 6:82, and Badei Hashulchan 186:25 and 189:4. </ref>

===Veset Hachodesh (Monthly Pattern)===
[[File:Veset short month.jpg|thumb|Beynonit and Chodesh on א, Haflagah of 33 on ד]]

#If a woman doesn't have an established veset, she should mark the day of the month on the Hebrew calendar when she last saw and her veset will be on the same day of the month the next month.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 189:6</ref> Whether the veset falls out by night or by the day depends on the last time she saw. If it was by day the veset is by day and if it was by night then the veset is by night.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 189:13</ref>
#The veset hachodesh is established from month to month irrelevant of whether the month is 29 or 30 days.<ref>Tosfot Niddah 64a s.v. itmar, Raavad p. 48, Rashba (Torat Habayit 9a), Tur and Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 189:6</ref>
#The veset hachodesh goes by the lunar calendar. The solar calendar is irrelevant.<ref>Shoshanat Ha'amakim 7:4 </ref>

'''Non-Established Veset for the 29th of the Month'''

#If a woman saw on the 29th day of the month she is only concerned for the 29th day of the next month, independent of whether the months are complete or incomplete.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 189:12 implies this as he writes that there's no concern from the 29th of Adar to the 30th of Nissan even though both are in a sense Erev Rosh Chodesh since they're both not the same day of the month or a Rosh Chodesh.</ref>

'''Non-Established Veset for the 1st of the Month'''

#If a woman saw on the 1st day of the month she is only concerned for the 1st day of the next month, independent of whether the months are complete or incomplete.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 189:104, Otzrot Moshe Niddah v. 1 p. 231. Otzrot Moshe explains that if she saw on the 1st of Nissan we're not concerned for the 30th of Nissan, which is the first day of Rosh Chodesh Iyar even though she previously saw on Rosh Chodesh Nissan. This is against the implication of the Aruch Hashulchan 189:12 who holds that a veset can be established from the Rosh Chodesh to Rosh Chodesh even if they're different days of the month.</ref>

'''Non-Established Veset for the 30th of the Month'''

#If a woman saw on the 30th day of the month, if the next month would have 30 days she would be concerned for the 30th day. However, if the next month only has 29 days, which is the usual case, according to some poskim she has a non-established veset on the 29th day of the month, according to others she has a non-established veset on the 1st of the subsequent month, and some say she doesn't have to be concerned at all. [This is based on the usual arrangement of the calendar to have months of alternating lengths of 29 and 30.]<ref>Mishmeret Hatahara v. 1 p. 245-6 quotes that the Aruch Hashulchan 189:12 writes that she is concerned for the 29th since it is erev rosh chodesh. However, the Imrei Avraham 2 argues that we're concerned that since the 30th day of the first month was the first day of rosh chodesh the next period is expected on rosh chodesh even though there's only one day rosh chodesh. Lastly, the Pri Deah (Turei Kesef 189:17) understands the Bach as holding that there's no day to be concerned for since there is no 30th of the month this month. Badei Hashulchan (189:13 Biurim s.v. chosheshet p. 107) agrees that there's no such concept of being concerned for the last day of the month (like the Aruch Hashulchan) and expecting the period on a 29th because of seeing on the 30th last month. Also, there's no concept of being concerned from the 30th to the 1st of the subsequent month just because they're all rosh chodesh (like the Imrei Avraham), until it is a more established veset for rosh chodesh. He says that she should expect on the 30th of the next month. Meaning, if she saw on the 30th of Nissan, she's not concerned for the 29th of Iyar or the 1st of Sivan but is concerned for the 30th of Sivan. Nitai Gavriel 2:94:3 is concerned for both the 30th of the next month and the 1st of the subsequent one. In the footnote he cites Avnei Yishfeh 189 in the name of the Rav Ben Tzion Abba Shaul that she is concerned for anything. Badei Hashulchan cites Shevet Halevi 2:124 as lenient on the 29th. Laws of Niddah (R' Forst, v. 1 p. 300) is lenient.</ref>

'''Established Veset for Rosh Chodesh'''

#In terms of creating a veset with Rosh Chodesh, if a woman saw on three rosh chodesh's she has a veset for rosh chodesh, even if one of them is on the first day of rosh chodesh and the other is on the second day of rosh chodesh. In all of these cases she should keep her veset for two days of rosh chodesh when rosh chodesh is two days. A few examples are if she saw on the:
##1st of Nissan, 30th of Nissan, and 1st of Sivan
##1st of Iyar, 1st of Sivan, and 30th of Sivan
##30th of Nissan, 1st of Sivan, and 30th of Sivan. In all these cases she has established a veset for Rosh Chodesh, since all of the days are Rosh Chodesh.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 189:48 based on the Bach. Nitai Gavriel 2:94:4 cites the Bach and then cites the Tehila Ldovid and Shaarei Tohar who disagree since they weren't all on the same day of the month.</ref>
#If a woman has a veset for Rosh Chodesh on the first day of each month, for example, the 1st of Nissan, the 1st of Iyar, and the 1st of Sivan, then she does not need to be concerned for the first day of rosh chodesh on the 30th.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 189:48 isn't sure about the case where she saw on the 1st of the month for 3 months if she needs to be concerned for the first day of rosh chodesh. In the additions in the back of the sefer he quotes the Piskei Dinim of Tzemech Tzedek as saying she should only be concerned for the first day of the month and not both days of rosh chodesh.</ref>

===Veset Haflagah (Interval Pattern)===
[[Image:Haflagah.jpg|200px|left]]

#If a woman doesn't have an established veset, she should calculate the interval between the last time she saw her period and two times ago.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 189:2</ref> Counting the same number of days from the last period establishes the day of the veset. Whether the veset falls out by night or by the day depends on the last time she saw. If it was by day the veset is by day and if it was by night then the veset is by night.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 189:9 citing the Nodeh Beyehuda YD 2:83. The Badei Hashulchan 192:92 outlines the two positions regarding this question. The Shulchan Aruch Harav holds that the amount of Onot (12 hour periods) are counted from the last time she saw until this time and then the next veset is expected that number of Onot from her period. For example, if she saw on Sunday day and then again Saturday night 4 weeks later (which is 55 Onot), she would have a veset haflagah on the Shabbat day 4 weeks later (which is also 55 Onot). However, the Nodeh Beyehuda argues that we count the days and only afterwards do we establish which Onah within the day it was, night or day. Therefore, in the above example, she would have her veset haflagah on Motzei Shabbat 4 weeks later.
Therefore, a woman would not establish a veset haflagah kavuah if the 3 intervals aren't in the same Onah. However, regarding a veset sheino kavuah the Badei Hashulchan concludes that the veset is established even if the two periods are in different Onot and we would follow the veset haflagah from the Onah of the last period. </ref>
#A minority opinion holds that unless both the first and second period which create the haflagah interval are both in the day or both by night there is concern of a veset even as a veset sheino kavuah.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 189:26</ref>

===Uncommon Vestot===

#The woman who sees in increasing intervals or on consecutive days of the month (see below for explanation of these patterns) is only concerned if she saw that 3 times. However, until it is established as a veset a woman who doesn't have a veset doesn't need to be concerned about them.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 189:11</ref>

==A Woman with an Established Veset Pattern==
===Veset Hachodesh (monthly pattern)===

#If a woman sees her period on a certain day on the Hebrew calendar that is called a veset hachodesh.<ref>The Gemara Niddah 39b and 64a both use cases of veset that are tied to the monthly calendar. Tosfot 64a s.v. itmar explains that a veset is established by the Jewish calendar even if some months are 29 days and others are 30. This is also the opinion of the Raavad ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8785&st=&pgnum=46 Baalei Hanefesh p. 48] cited by Rashba), Rashba (Taharat Habayit 9a and Mishmeret Habayit 9a), Rambam (Isurei Biyah 8:6), Maggid Mishna (Isurei Biyah 8:6), Tur and Shulchan Aruch 189:6. Even though the Ramban in his Chiddushim 64a questions this approach, in his Hilchot Niddah 5:12 he accepted it.</ref>Thus, if she has her period three consecutive times on the same day of the hebrew month, she has established a regular set cycle and can expect to have her next period on the same day the following month. For example, if she had her period on 26th of Elul, 26th of Tishrei and 26th of Cheshvan, she can expect her next to be on 26th of Kislev.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 189:2, Shoshanat Ha'amakim 7:2c</ref>

====Day of the Week====

#A corollary of the veset of the month is the veset of the day of the week. A woman who usually sees on a day of the week every certain number of weeks creates a veset. For example, if she saw on Sunday and then 29 days later on a Sunday she needs to be concerned about the Sunday after four weeks later. That becomes a veset kavua with three times and is a veset sheino kavuah with one time. <ref>Niddah 11a, Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8922&st=&pgnum=355 Torat Habayit 9a]), Shulchan Aruch YD 189:6</ref> If a veset of the day of the week can be viewed as a veset of haflagah we look at it as a veset of haflagah.<ref>Chavot Daat 189:4 writes that if the veset of the day of the week is established as a haflagah of the same day of the week then it is a veset of haflagah. For example, if a woman saw on 4 Sundays, 3 weeks apart then she has a veset of haflagah of 22 days. However, if she only saw 3 times like that then she only has a veset for every third Sunday. Igrot Moshe YD 1:122 isn't certain that we follow the Chavot Daat where the veset of the day of the week is consistent but is sure that we follow a haflagah if the day of the week is increasing.</ref>

===Veset Haflagah (interval pattern)===

#If a woman sees her period after an interval of a certain number of days that is called a veset haflagah. For example, if she sees every 28 days that is a veset.<ref>Gemara Niddah 63b, Tur and Shulchan YD 184:1</ref>
#The veset is established by seeing 4 periods in between which there are 3 intervals. For example, if she had her period and then had her next period 28 days later for 3 consecutive cycles, she has established a regular pattern and can expect to have her following period 28 days later. <ref>Shulchan Aruch 189:2. Shoshanat Ha'amakim 7:2a. </ref>
#A haflagah veset is only established if all 4 periods were at night or all were during the day.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 189:13</ref>

===Uncommon Vestot===
====Physical Activity Causing a Period====

#A woman who jumps and sees her period each certain number of days after 3 times she establishes a veset for seeing on that day of the interval only when she jumps.<ref>The Gemara 11a quotes a Briatta that states that a veset can't be established based on an unexpected event such as jumping, however, a veset which is a combination of both jumping and days can be established. The Tosfot 11a s.v. elah and Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8922&st=&pgnum=363 Torat Habayit 13a]) maintain that it is impossible to create a veset for jumping alone. However, the Baal Hamaor (cited by the Rashba) and Tur 189:17 argue that the gemara was only offering an explanation of the Briatta but Rav Huna held that jumping alone establishes a veset. Shulchan Aruch 189:17 follows the opinion of the Tosfot. Rama writes that although it cannot establish a veset, it could create a veset sheayno kavua</ref> The period is established after 3 times and before then she is concerned for her regular veset of interval and day of the month.<ref>Shach 189:48, Pri Deah (Siftei Levi 189:48)</ref> The same can be established for a day of the month and jumping.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 189:18</ref>
#If she has an established veset of a combination of jumping and an interval or days of the month she is permitted until the time in the day when she jumps.<ref>Chavot Daat 189:25</ref>

====Indicators of a Period====

#A veset can be created based on physical signs of the body such as stretching, yawning, burping, flatulating, sneezing, having an ache in one's stomach area, or fever. One sneeze or yawn would not qualify because that is normal; it must be a sneezing fit or yawning fit of some sort.<ref>Mishna Niddah 63a, Shulchan Aruch YD 189:19. Shach 189:53 writes that there are different interpretations of מתעטשת, either sneezing or passing gas, but both of them are correct in Halacha </ref>
#In order to be veset kavua has to be 3 of the same symptom, not 1 yawn and 2 sneezes.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 189:23 </ref>
#PMS, irritability and ice cream cravings aren't considered reliable indicators to create a veset.<ref>Rabbi Forst The Laws of Niddah pg. 340 </ref>

====Increasing Days of the Month====

#A woman doesn't need to be concerned of a increasing veset before it is established.<ref>Raavad ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8785&st=&pgnum=47 Baalei Hanefesh p. 49]), Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8922&st=&pgnum=366 Torat Habayit 14b]), Shulchan Aruch 189:11</ref>
#If a woman sees on consecutive days of the month in consecutive months she can establish a veset. Some hold that this is established with 3 periods and others hold it is established with 4 periods. We're strict for both opinions. For example, if she sees in one month on the 15th, the next month on the 16th, the next month on the 17th, and the last month on the 18th according to everyone she establishes a veset that she'll continue to see on consecutive days of the month. However, if she only saw on the 15th through the 18th then she considers it as though she this is an established veset but she is also concerned as though she doesn't have a veset.<ref>There is a dispute in Gemara Niddah 64a between Rav and Shmuel whether the veset of consecutive days of the month is established with 3 periods or only 4 since she needs to establish herself as progressing one day each month. The Rabbenu Chananel (cited by Rosh Niddah 9:3) holds like Rav and the Rambam (Issurei Biyah 8:6) like Shmuel. Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8922&st=&pgnum=366 Torat Habayit 14b]) concludes that we should be strict for both opinions. This is also the opinion of Shulchan Aruch YD 189:7.</ref>
#Consistently seeing on an earlier day of the month establishes a veset just like seeing consecutively later days.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 189:58</ref>
#Consistently seeing on days of the month 2 days beyond the last month also establishes a veset. <ref>Badei Hashulchan 189:58</ref>
#If she sees 15, 16, 18 that’s not a pattern.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 189:10 </ref>
#If a woman has a cyclical pattern of seeing on the 15th of the month, next month on the 16th, next on the 17th, then the next month jumps back to the 15th, 16th, 17th, and again 15th, 16th, and 17th, she has established a veset for that pattern.<ref>Rabbenu Chananel understood the gemara Niddah 64a that you need to see 9 times in a pattern to establish a changing veset such as the 15th of one month, then the 16th of the next month, and then the 17th of the third month, the cycle continues for another 6 months starting the fourth and seventh time again on the 15th. Tosfot disagrees with Rabbenu Chananel in the gemara. Rashba (Torat Habyait 14b) writes that even though we disagree with the Rabbenu Chananel’s understanding we still hold that his case is considered a veset. Tur and Shulchan Aruch YD 189:8 agree. Shach 189:20 holds that this pattern is established even according to Shmuel without seeing on the 18th for each series to create this pattern.</ref>
#In fact, if a woman has a alternating pattern switching between the 15th of the month and the 16th, by seeing this switch 3 times, which is altogether 6 periods, she establishes a veset.<ref>Raavad ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8785&st=&pgnum=51 Baalei Hanefesh p. 53]), Taz 189:10, Shach 189:21. See there in Raavad who treats this as two separate vestot, while the Shach treats it as single cyclical pattern.</ref>

====Increasing or decreasing intervals====

#If a woman sees for a certain intervals that are increasing over time that establishes a veset. There is a dispute if three or four times is necessary to establish a veset. For example, if she sees after 30 days, then after 31, then after 32, the woman would have to consider herself as having a veset but also be strict as though she didn't have a veset.<ref>The Gemara Niddah 64a records a dispute between Rav and Shmuel regarding an increasing veset of days during the month. Rav holds that it is established with three times and Shmuel holds it is established with four times since you need four times in order to establish three increases. Tosfot s.v. itmar extends this idea to increasing intervals. The opinion of Tosfot is codified by Tur and Shulchan Aruch YD 189:5. The Shach 189:6 explains that to establish a veset of increasing intervals for Rav it would take seeing four times which is equal to three intervals and according to Shmuel seeing five times which is equal to four intervals. Taz 189:6 agrees. Shulchan Aruch 189:7 rules that we're strict for both the opinion of Rav and Shmuel. Shoshanat Haa'makim 7:2b agrees</ref>
#Increasing intervals can be established whether they increase by one day at a time or multiple days as long as it is consistent. <ref>Rashba (Mishmeret Habayit 11b), Maggid Mishna (Isurei Biyah 8:6), Shulchan Aruch 189:5, Shach 189:11</ref> However, intervals that progressively increase (e.g. 30, 31, 33, 36) isn't considered a halachic pattern to create a veset.<ref>Shach 189:12</ref>
#A decreasing veset is established just like an increasing veset.<ref>Shach 189:9 and Shach 189:68, Shoshanat Haa'makim 7:2b. See Tosfot Niddah 9b s.v. pichta. Sidrei Tahara 189:3 supports the Shach from the Raavad 3:6. The Peleti 189:6 accepts the Raavad's opinion but wonders how it is rational, since eventually the veset should run to the point that she won't see anymore and isn't a natural progression.</ref>

====Veset for Hours====

#If a woman establishes three times that she always starts seeing her period a certain hour of the day but doesn't establish any day for her veset (either by intervals or by of the month), then she is concerned about her regular non-kavuah vestot only for that hour.<ref>The Raavad ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8785&st=&pgnum=30 Baalei Hanefesh p. 32]) writes that if a woman has a veset only for a specific hour during the day and not for days that can establish a veset for that hour. Shulchan Aruch 189:3 codifies the opinion of the Raavad. Chavot Daat 189:4 explains that if she doesn’t have a veset for days and does have an established hour, she only needs to keep her non-kavuah vestot during that hour that she has a veset for.</ref>

==Bedika during Veset==

#A kavuah veset requires a bedika during the veset and if she didn’t do one then she is forbidden to her husband until she does a bedika. However, a veset that is not established, after the day passes, doesn’t require a bedika.<ref>Rashba (Torat Habayit 15b), Shulchan Aruch 189:4. Even though Shulchan Aruch YD 184:9 rules like the Rambam, the Shulchan Aruch retracted and held like the Rashba in Shulchan Aruch YD 189:4.<br />

*Although the Taz 189:5 writes that a veset sheayno kavua only doesn't need require a check in a case where the woman normally has a veset kavua and deviated once but for a woman who never has a veset kavua we would require a check, the Nekudot Hakesef there disagrees and says in all cases a veset kavua doesn't require a check</ref>
#Some poskim hold that no bedika is necessary during a non-established veset (besides the Onah Beynonit which is treated like an established veset).<ref>The Bet Yosef 184:9 explains the Rashba as holding that there's no obligation to do a bedika during a veset sheino kavuah. [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/868467/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-50-bedika-during-veset-sheino-kavuah/ Rabbi Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 50, at the end of the shiur] and notes to The Laws and Concepts of Niddah by Rabbi Zvi Sobolofsky pg. 314) holds like this opinion. see there pg. 226</ref> Other poskim hold that initially a woman should do a bedika.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 184:58 is strict if possible. The Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 279 writes that a woman should do a bedika during a veset sheino kavuah and that's the minhag.</ref>

===How does she Check?===

#She must conduct a full internal check, as she does for a hefsek tahara and during her 7 clean days.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 184:16 quoting the Chavot Daat, Taharat Habayit 1:3:2, Shoshanat Ha'amakim 7:9 </ref>
#This bedika can be performed at night.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 184:53 writes that you can do this check at night, even though the Rama in Siman 196 says ideally we should not to look at bedikot at night, that is only for the seven clean days where she has been nidda to this point. </ref>
#A woman with an irregular cycle should not sit in a bath or go swimming at her onah benonit, nor should a woman with a regular cycle on her anticipated day, since she is likely to have her period on that day, she must avoid activities that can wash away a possible discharge of blood without her knowing.<ref>Taharat habayit 1:3:4, Shu"t Yabea omer YD 6:16:5, Shoshanat Ha'amakim 7:11, Badei Hashulchan 184:55 </ref> A shower is permitted but she shouldn't wash that area. If she did take a bath or wash inside, she is still permitted to her husband after the day is over if she checked afterwards. <ref>Taharat habayit 1:3:4, Shu"t Yabea omer YD 6:16:5, Shoshanat Ha'amakim 7:11. </ref>

===How many times does she have to do a bedika?===

#Many poskim hold that ideally she should do a bedika in the beginning and the end of the veset.<ref>Chavot Daat 184:9 holds that she needs to have a moch dachuk the entire veset. Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 154:6 agrees. However, the Tosefta (Niddah 9:2) states that a women should do two bedikot during the veset. The Gra's emendation of the Tosefta is that she only needs to check once during the veset. [http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=14334&pgnum=231 Chazon Ish YD 80:20-22] holds that ideally she should do a bedika once at the beginning and once at the end of the veset. Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 127, Shoshanat Ha'amakim 7:9, Badei Hashulchan 184:54, and The Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 136 agree. Igrot Moshe YD 3:48 writes that within the veset the women should check herself a few times. </ref>

==How to Uproot a Veset==

#A veset kavuah is uprooted only after missing it three times, while a non-kavuah veset is uprooted with one time.<ref>Rav Papa in Niddah 64a says that a non-kavuah veset is established and removed with one time. However, a kavuah veset the Mishna 63b says takes 3 times to establish and remove. Tur and Shulchan Aruch 189:2 codify this.</ref>
#If she has a veset kavua to see every 20 days, and one time sees after 30 instead, she needs to be concerned about 20 days after that as kavua, and if she doesn't see at 20, then 30 as ayno kavua (meaning ten days after 20). If she then sees on that day 30, she needs to be concerned for both of those days on the next cycle once again. If she sees on 30 a third time, day 30 becomes the new veset kavua. If after one or 2 deviations from 20 to 30, she then sees 20 again, that becomes kavua again and 30 goes away. <ref>Shulchan Aruch 189:14 </ref>

===A Non-established Veset===

#A non-established veset (veset sheino kavuah) is uprooted if she missed seeing blood once<ref>Gemara Niddah 64a establishes that she only needs to uproot it once. Shulchan Aruch 189:2 codifies this.</ref> and even if she forgot and didn't do a bedika.<ref>[http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=40885&st=&pgnum=435 Ramban (Hilchot Niddah 5:19)], The Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 325</ref>

===An Established Veset===

#To uproot a veset kavuah the following conditions need to be met:
##The day of the veset needs to pass three times without seeing blood and she needs to do a bedika during the veset. <ref>Raavad ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8785&st=&pgnum=45 Shaar Tikkun Havestot 2 p. 47]), [http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=40885&st=&pgnum=435 Ramban (Hilchot Niddah 5:19)], Chavot Daat 189:10, The Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 325</ref>
##A veset kavuah is only uprooted if it is replaced with another veset. If she missed 3 times on different days and doesn't establish a veset, practically she doesn't need to be concerned about veset but if she sees on it once it returns.<ref>Shulchan Aruch YD 189:15-6. The [http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8785&st=&pgnum=32 Raavad (Shaar Tikkun Vestot p. 34)] writes that a veset is only completely uprooted if it is replaced by another veset. If she missed 3 times practically she isn't concerned for the veset but unless she establishes a new veset if she sees on the old veset once, that veset returns. This is view of the Tur and Bet Yosef 189:15. The Shulchan Aruch 189:16 clarifies that this applies both to a haflagah and a veset hachodesh. The Badei Hashulchan 189:145, Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 324, and Darkei Tahara p. 72 completely accept Shulchan Aruch.

*However, the Taz 189:28 points out that the Ramban might not accept this halacha. The Sidrei Tahara 189:19 explains that the [http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=40885&st=&pgnum=435 Ramban (Hilchot Niddah 6:5)] in fact holds that if she saw on 3 different days then the veset is uprooted completely and will never return. Nonetheless he accepts the ruling of Shulchan Aruch. Simla 189:33 disagrees with Shulchan Aruch based on the Ramban and Rashi. Rav Mordechai Willig (Am Mordechai on Shulchan Aruch p. 127) agrees and suggests that even the Raavad doesn't hold like the Tur and Shulchan Aruch understood him. See there.</ref>

==Seeing Earlier than the Veset==

#Most poskim hold that if a woman saw blood before her veset and continued to see blood during her veset that blood doesn't further establish the veset but also doesn't uproot it. <ref>[http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8339&st=&pgnum=31 Shaarei Tohar 4:21] writes that a continuation of a flow also uproots a veset just like it isn’t sufficient to establish a veset. Rabbi Willig (Am Mordechai on Shulchan Aruch p. 128) prefers this opinion. However, Igrot Moshe YD 1:122 assumes that if a woman continues to see during her veset that doesn’t establish but also doesn’t uproot the veset. Minchat Yitzchak 8:74 agrees based on the Chavot Daat 189:7. Badei Hashulchan 189:99 and Shevet Halevi 5:107:13 are also strict.</ref>

===Veset Hachodesh===

#For a veset hachodesh, seeing an earlier day during the month doesn't uproot the veset. It isn't uprooted until that day of the veset hachodesh comes and passes without seeing blood.<ref>Ramban Hilchot Niddah 5:22, Tur 189:13(5), Bet Yosef 189:13(2) s.v. v'im tomar, Rama 189:2, Bach 189:15, Perisha 189:28, Taz 189:18, Shach 189:31</ref>

===Veset Haflagah===

#For a veset haflagah, there is a dispute whether the shorter interval uproots a longer interval. Many poskim hold it doesn't uproot it.<ref>Bet Yosef 189:13 and Darkei Moshe 189:1 very clearly imply that a shorter period doesn't uproot a longer interval. This is also the opinion of the Taz 189:18, Torat Hashlamim 189:22, and [http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=36277&st=&pgnum=124 Beit Meir 189:13]. On the other extreme, the Shach 189:31 holds that a shorter interval uproots an earlier one. Perisha 189:28 fundamentally agrees with the Shach. [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/869021/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-54-short-veset-uprooting-longer-missed-veset-kavuah-3x/ Rabbi Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 54)] holds like the Shach. Badei Hashulchan 189:141 agrees with the Shulchan Aruch Harav who explains that even according to the Shach the shorter interval doesn't completely uproot the longer interval forever. It only makes it so don't have to be concerned with it but if it returns once then it is considered a veset.

*A compromise opinion is that of the Bach 189:16 s.v. vharav who holds that it isn't uprooted but the haflagah is only counted from the last time she saw.
*Badei Hashulchan (Tziyunim 132) writes that we don’t hold like the Shach that a shorter interval uproots a longer one. Shevet Halevi 2:81 and 5:107 doesn't hold like the Shach in most cases.</ref>
#If a woman saw prior to her veset, the next haflagah interval is counted from that time she just saw and she doesn't need to worry about the veset as it fell out from the last interval. For example, if a woman saw on the 1st and 20th of Nissan, her haflagah (20 days) lands on the 9th of Iyar. But if she sees earlier on the 1st of Iyar she doesn't have to be to concerned about the 9th of Iyar since the new haflagah is calculated from the last period. Therefore, her veset haflagah would be the 12th of Iyar and the 20th of Iyar. <ref>Ramban (Hilchot Niddah 5:22) writes that if a woman sees on the 1st and 20th of Nissan and didn't see on the 1st of Iyar she's concerned about the 9th of Iyar because of the haflagah of 20 days. Bet Yosef 189:13 infers that if she did see on the 1st of Iyar she wouldn't be concerned about the 9th of Iyar. The Darkei Moshe 189:1 argues that the Ramban was giving a unique case but the halacha is that she should be concerned for the 9th of Iyar whether or not she saw on the 1st of Iyar. The Rama 189:13 rules according to his opinion in the Darkei Moshe. While the Taz 189:19 defends the position of the Rama, the Shach 189:31 strongly disagree because once she sees for a shorter interval of 12 days she uprooted her interval of 20 days. Perisha 189:28 agrees with Shach. Even if one disagrees with the Shach, another reason to disagree with the Taz is that we restart haflagah count from the last time she saw (Bach 189:16, Sidrei Tahara 189:14, and [http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=36277&st=&pgnum=124 Beit Meir 189:13]). Badei HaShulchan 189:106 is lenient but adds that one who is strict for the Rama 189:13 and Taz 189:19 should be blessed.</ref>

===Onah Beynonit===

#If a woman saw before the 30th day she doesn't need to worry about the original 30th day and just recalculates the Onah Beynonit from the last time she saw. For example, if a woman saw on the 20th day after her last period she doesn't need to be concerned about the Onah Beynonit from her last interval which would land 10 days after her period (which could be her tevilah night). Rather the Onah Beynonit is reset and she is concerned for the 30th day from her last period.<ref>Bach 189:16, Chavot Daat 189:13, Rabbi Akiva Eiger 189:3, Pitchei Teshuva 189:10 citing Chavot Daat 189:13, and Sidrei Tahara 189:13 all hold that the Onah Beynonit is interrupted by an earlier period and is recalculated from the time of the last period. This is unlike the position of the Taz 189:17 who says that the Onah Beynonit is always established and remains in place even if she sees earlier..</ref>

==When is the veset?==

#Most poskim hold that all calculations are based on viewing the day from sunrise to sunset and the night from sunset to sunrise.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 184:10, Sidrei Tahara 184:4, Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 59-60, Shoshanat Ha'amakim 7:7</ref>

==How Long is a Veset?==

#Some Ashkenazic poskim consider a veset 24 hours, the time period when she expects to see blood and also the time period beforehand.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe 3:48) is strict for the Or Zaruah. Badei Hashulchan 189:7 is strict for the Or Zaruah.</ref> Others are lenient.<ref>Rav Hershel Schachter (notes to The Laws and Concepts of Niddah by Rabbi Zvi Sobolofsky pg. 308), [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/867643/Rabbi%20Mordechai%20I.%20Willig/Niddah%20Shiur%2045%20-%20Timing%20of%20Avi'asaf,%20Veset%20Or%20Zaruah Rabbi Mordechai Willig (Niddah shiur 45 min 35-41)] holds that we can be lenient against the Or Zaruah since that is the opinion of the Shulchan Aruch, Rama, Taz 184:2, and Chavot Daat (quoted in Pitchei Teshuva 184:7). Also, even the Shach 184:7, who is concerned for the Or Zaruah holds that it only applies if she has a fixed veset but since most women don't have that we can be lenient.</ref> Sephardim are lenient.<ref> Taharat Habayit v. 1 pp. 55-58 holds that Sephardim should follow Shulchan Aruch and don't need to follow the Or Zaruah unlike the Ben Ish Chai (Tzav no. 1). Shoshanat Ha'amakim 7:7 agrees. Moroccans are also lenient (Magen Avot YD p. 128).</ref>
#If a woman sees for several days we still calculate the veset based on the initial seeing of blood.<ref>
*The Raavad (Baalei Hanefesh cited by Bet Yosef 184:5) writes that if a woman always sees blood at night and a bit into the day her veset is established as that night as well as the time that it would extend into the day. The Bet Yosef 184:5 writes that there three opinions about this case whether only the night is established, or both the night and the day, or the night and the hour in the day during which she always sees. Shulchan Aruch 184:5 follows the Raavad.
*The Raavad (Baalei Hanefesh cited by Bet Yosef 184:6) writes that if a women sees for a few days we look at the entirety of the time she would see as a veset. However, the Rosh (Niddah 9:3) argues that only the time when she initially sees is established as a veset. Shulchan Aruch 184:6 follows the Rosh. The Derisha 184:5 clarifies that the difference between the cases is if she sees for a short period of time it is considered part of the original veset, however, if she sees for several days they aren't included in the original veset and the veset is exclusively established by the original seeing. The Taz 184:9 agrees with the Derisha. Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 68 follows Shulchan Aruch.
*The Chavot Daat 184:7 writes that if she stopped seeing for some time and then continues to see then the next day is also considered for the veset. The Pardes Rimonim (184 Shach 16) and Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 69 disagree.</ref>

==What is Forbidden during the Veset?==

#Most poskim hold that really the only activity that is forbidden during a veset is for the couple to be together. However, one who is stringent to avoid any affectionate touch, hugging and kissing will be blessed.<ref>Shoshanat Ha'amakim 7:8. Shulchan Aruch YD 184:2 writes that only being together is forbidden. Rama 184:10 agrees. See Chatom Sofer YD 2:170 who provides a rationale for the Shulchan Aruch. Pitchei Teshuva 184:2 writes that if a couple does not separate, both the husband and wife would require an atonement. </ref> Some poskim hold that hugging and kissing are forbidden.<ref>Trumat Hadeshen 250, Taz 184:3. Badei Hashulchan 189:14 writes that the primary halacha is that we follow the Shulchan Aruch, however, someone who is strict will be blessed. </ref>
#It is praiseworthy for the couple not to sleep in the same bed during the veset. <ref>Badei Hashulchan 184:14, Shoshanat Ha'amakim 7:8, Taharat Habayit v. 1, p. 67. Taharat Habayit forbids sleeping together even if they do not engage in tashmish, which is forbidden, as she might see blood while she's sleeping. [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/868467/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-50-bedika-during-veset-sheino-kavuah/ Rav Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 50 at the end)] agrees with this stringency.</ref>
#However, the other [[harchakot]] (not including hugging and kissing mentioned above) which are forbidden when a woman is a niddah are not forbidden during the veset.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 184:2, Badei Hashulchan 184:14, Shoshanat Ha'amakim 7:8</ref>
#A woman does not need to wear white undergarments on the night of her veset.<ref>Shoshanat Ha'amakim 7:10</ref>
#If the veset period falls out on the tevilah night many poskim hold that the veset remains in place and she is forbidden to her husband.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva YD 184:22 quoting the Chatom Sofer 170, Chavot Daat 184:13, and Sidrei Tahara 184:14 hold that the veset is forbidden even on the tevilah night. However, the Pitchei Teshuva also quotes the Knesset Yechezkel who is lenient. See also Torat Hashlamim 187:29 who is in favor of the lenient side. Rav Ovadia Yosef in Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 103 rules that for a non-established veset one could be lenient but not for an established veset.</ref>

===If Her Husband is Travelling===

#A husband has an obligation to be with his wife before he goes away. This obligation applies even at her veset.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 184:9 </ref> Some poskim say that this includes having marital relations.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 184:9</ref>Some poskim say that relations are not permitted, and they should only hug and kiss if it is the time of her veset.<ref>Rama 184:9 says that some poskim allow relations but it is better to be strict. Shach 184:27 writes that even though he said earlier 184:6 that you should try to avoid hugging and kissing at the veset, when the husband is travelling you should hug and kiss.</ref>
#If he is travelling for a mitzva, this is not required.<ref>Rama 184:9</ref>
#This only applies if the husband is travelling, and not if the wife is travelling.<ref>Badei Hashulchan 184:71. However, Rav Sobolofsky ([https://www.yutorah.org/lectures/1154737/ Hilchos Niddah Q&A: Simanim 183-187, Maros, Minute 39]) disagrees. </ref>

==Veset for a Pregnant or Nursing Woman==

#Some poskim held that if a woman knows she's pregnant because of a pregnancy test she doesn't need to be concerned for veset as long as she doesn't have a period. Most poskim hold that a pregnant woman is concerned for her veset until after 90 days of pregnancy.<ref>*The Gemara Niddah 9a states that a pregnant woman who didn't do a bedika on her veset is still tehora. The Rosh (Niddah 1:4) learns from here that a pregnant woman doesn't need to be concerned for her veset or do a bedika. The Tur 184:7 and Rabbenu Yerucham (cited by Bet Yosef 184:7) apply this equally to a nursing woman based on the gemara Niddah 11a.
*For this halacha the gemara Niddah 8b says that vestot are only pushed aside after 90 days of pregnancy. The Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8922&st=&pgnum=362 Torat Habayit 12b]) cites a dispute between the Raavad and Baal Hameor if vestot are only pushed aside if she doesn't see blood for 90 days after 90 days of pregnancy. The Rashba sides with the opinion of the Raavad that immediately after 90 days of pregnancy she doesn't have to be concerned about a veset. The Shulchan Aruch 189:33 agrees.
*The Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8922&st=&pgnum=361 Torat Habayit 12a]) writes that if a woman sees during her pregnancy we look at it as an anomaly and it doesn't even become a non-established veset. The Raavad disagrees and considers periods during pregnancy to create a non-established veset. The Rashba concludes that one should be strict for the Raavad. Shulchan Aruch 189:33 follows the Raavad and rules that a pregnant woman after 90 days of pregnancy create an established veset but if she sees she does have to be concerned for a non-established veset. Additionally, Shulchan Aruch 189:34 rules that she doesn't need to be concerned about her previous veset during pregnancy after 90 days. The Sidrei Tahara 189:36 clarifies that she doesn't need to be concerned Onah Beynonit after 90 days of pregnancy. The Pri Deah (Turi Kesef 189:50), however, cites and supports the Maharam Padua who holds that Onah Beynonit exists during pregnancy.
*Rav Moshe Feinstein (Igrot Moshe YD 3:52) writes that nowadays since the overwhelming majority of pregnant women don't get their period they do not have to be concerned for a veset after they took a pregnancy test and know they are pregnant. In a later response, Igrot Moshe YD 4:17(1) concludes that one should be strict. See the editor's addition to Igrot Moshe there (which was not written by Rav Moshe Feinstein). Shevet Halevi 3:114, Mishneh Halachot 5:148, and Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 80 disagree with Rav Moshe's leniency. The Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 371 writes that most poskim don't accept Rav Moshe's leniency.
*[http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/869780/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-61-veset-during-pregnancy-and-nursing/ Rav Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 61, min 39-41)] is machmir to keep vestot during pregnancy and to be poresh and do bedika on Onah Beynonit.</ref>
##According to those who are strict, if the woman didn't have an established veset, according to Ashkenazim, if she doesn't actually see any blood then she only needs to be concerned for her vestot for the first time. All agree that if she's actually seeing blood then she does need to be concerned for her veset as though it was a non-established veset.<ref>[http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/869780/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-61-veset-during-pregnancy-and-nursing/ Rav Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 61, min 39-41)] explained that if she doesn't see during pregnancy these vestot will only exist one time if she doesn't have an established veset.</ref>
##According to Sephardim, if a woman doesn’t have a veset she has to be concerned for her veset hachodesh, veset haflagah and onah beynonit the first month. Afterwards she only has to be concerned for the onah beynonit for the next two months, which are day 60 and day 90.<ref>The reason to be concerned for day 60 and 90 even though she didn't see on day 30 is because the Bet Yosef 189:15's opinion is that you can count another onah beynonit from a day on which you were supposed to see. That phantom period counts as the beginning of the next cycle. The Shach 189:45 along with the Bach and Maharshal cited by Taz 189:31 argue that this is incorrect. In fact this seems to be the exact dispute between Rav Papa and Rav Huna in Niddah 39b. However, see Taz 189:31's defense of Bet Yosef. Also see Maharam Niddah 64a s.v. eima who explains Rashi along these lines. See also the Pri Deah Turei Kesef 189:31 who explains the Bet Yosef in this manner.

*Rav Mordechai Eliyahu in Darkei Tahara pp. 83-84 and Taharat Yakov p. 23 accept the opinion of the Bet Yosef specifically with respect to the Onah Beynonit that a woman would check on days 60 and 90 after becoming pregnant. However, Badei Hashulchan 189:153 and [http://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/869780/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/niddah-shiur-61-veset-during-pregnancy-and-nursing/ Rav Mordechai Willig (Niddah Shiur 61, min 39-41)] agree with the Shach.</ref>
##If a woman had a veset kavuah of haflagah she only has to be concerned for that the first month and isn’t concerned until she actually sees again.<ref>Darkei Tahara p. 83 explains that she doesn't have to be concerned for a haflagah kavuah after the first month because a haflagah is only counted from actually seeing a period and not from the time she should have seen. This is the opinion of the Shach 189:45, Maharshal cited by Taz 189:31, and Aruch Hashulchan 189:42. </ref>
##If a woman had a veset kavuah for the chodesh she is concerned for the first three months of pregnancy.<ref>Tur and Shulchan Aruch 189:16, Maharshal cited by Taz 189:31, Shach 189:45, Darkei Tahara p. 83. The explanation is that since the veset is established by the calendaric date there is a concern that she will see then even though she didn't see anything the previous month. It is unlike other expected periods that depend on a time interval which according to some poskim don't apply when she didn't see anything the previous month.</ref>
#A post-partum woman whether she is nursing or not needs to be concerned about vestot if she does see her period. That is, she needs to be concerned about a non-established veset, establishing a veset, and about a previous veset.<ref>The gemara Niddah 9a treats a post-partum woman as someone who isn't supposed to see her period for 24 months. Based on the Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8922&st=&pgnum=363 Torat Habayit 13a]) this has relevance to not being concerned about veset. The Shulchan Aruch 189:33 rules that a woman who gave birth doesn't establish a veset for 24 months whether or not she is actually nursing, but should be concerned for a non-established veset. The Shulchan Aruch 189:34 also rules that a woman who gave birth for 24 month doesn't need to be concerned for her old veset. Nonetheless, Igrot Moshe YD 3:52 rules that since nowadays women do see their period within 24 months of birth we have to be concerned for a veset during that time. This is also the opinion of Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 85. Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 376 writes that many poskim agree.</ref>
#The blood accompanying childbirth has no relevance to her veset, neither to establish a onah beynonit or a beginning of the interval to set when she'll bleed next. Until she menstruates once after childbirth there is no concern of veset.<ref>The Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 375, Shoshanat Ha'amakim 8:2. Badei Hashulchan 189:33 s.v. shetireh writes that blood of childbirth is certainly different than niddah blood, however, he is unsure when the consider the blood accompanying the childbirth to have ended. </ref>

===24 Months after Childbirth===

#If a woman began menstruating before 24 months, according to many poskim her old veset applies and she can create a new established veset or a non-established veset. During that time she can't uproot an old veset by seeing on other times or by establishing a new established veset. <ref>The Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 376-7 clarifies that considering the period of 24 months after childbirth to be a time when she might see her period is only a chumra but it can't be used to uproot an old veset. However, if she did menstruate before 24 months then after 24 months there is no new concern immediately upon the conclusion of 24 months. </ref>
#However, if a woman didn't begin menstruating before 24 months after childbirth her old vestot return at that time.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 189:34</ref> If she had a veset haflagah it only begins to apply after she sees once.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 189:34</ref> If she had a veset hachodesh according to some it applies immediately after 24 months and according to others it applies only if she saw once.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 189:34 like the opinion of the Rashba holds that a veset hachodesh returns immediately. However, the Shach 189:75 quotes the Raavad and Ramban who argue that even veset hachodesh doesn't return without first seeing once. The Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 377 quotes both opinions.</ref> A woman who didn't have a veset is concerned about a onah beynonit only once she sees once.<ref>The Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 378 based on Shulchan Aruch 189:34 as onah beynonit is like haflagah that it can't be established with less than 2 periods.</ref> A non-established veset according to many poskim it doesn't return.<ref>Pitchei Teshuva 189:32 quotes the Nodeh Beyehuda 2:86 who says that the veset sheino kavuah doesn’t return. However, the Lechem Vsimla 189:57 argues. The Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 378 is lenient, while the Badei Hashulchan 189:349 is strict.</ref>

==Elderly Women==

#Certain laws of veset apply specifically to an elderly woman. The halacha's definition is once she is old enough that an average woman could be called grandmother by a stranger and she wouldn't mind. <ref>The gemara Niddah 9a cites a dispute when a woman is considered elderly for this topic. Either it depends on when society calls women old or when she wouldn't be embarrassed or mind being called mother. The Rambam (Isurei Biyah 9:5) and Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8922&st=&pgnum=356 Torat Habayit Hakatzar 9b]) hold that it depends on when she doesn't mind being called mother. Tosfot 9b. s.v. kol clarifies that her status depends on when a regular women wouldn't be embarrassed or mind being called mother and not her personal preference. Shulchan Aruch 189:29 rules that once she is old enough to be called mother and not care she is considered elderly for this halacha. The Badei Hashulchan 189:320 and Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 86 write that the halacha today depends on whether she minds being called grandmother today and not mother.</ref> The poskim don't give a clear ruling as to when a woman is considered an elderly woman. A woman in her mid-sixties is considered in this category.<ref>The Laws of Niddah v. 1 p. 379 writes that women would mind being called "old" when they are in their fifties even though that is the average age of menopause. He adds that in the mid-sixties certainly a woman should be considered elderly. See Taharat Habayit v. 1 p. 86-7 for a range of ages when potentially a woman could begin to be considered elderly between 48 and 65.</ref>
#The laws of an older woman described earlier for the purposes of veset don't have any relevance to niddah. Anytime a woman sees blood she is a Niddah. Nonetheless, once she stops seeing any blood for 90 days it is unlikely that she's going to she her period and she doesn't need to observe her veset days. If she sees blood afterwards she is certainly a niddah and needs to purify from that, but she doesn't need to observe her old veset day or any non-established veset to anticipate another period. However, if she sees again 3 times then the break of 90 days is considered an aberration and she has to observe her veset day.<ref>Rabbi Eliezer in the Mishna Niddah 7a states that an elderly woman who didn't see for 90 days is unlikely to see again for purposes of Taharot. The Rashba ([http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=8922&st=&pgnum=356 Torat Habayit Hakatzar 9b]) applies these laws to veset and states that an elderly woman who didn't see for 90 days doesn't need to be concerned for her previous veset. Shulchan Aruch YD 189:28 rules that an elderly woman who didn't see for 90 days doesn't need to be concerned for her previous veset. The Rama 189:28 adds that she doesn't need to be concerned for her veset sheino kavuah either.</ref>

==Links==

*[https://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/802945/rabbi-zvi-sobolofsky/taharas-hamishpacha-shovavim-part-2-harchakot-vestot-tevilah/ Harchakot, Vestot, Tevilah by Rabbi Zvi Sobolofsky]

==Sources==
<references />
[[Category:Niddah]]

Three Weeks

2025-07-16T12:40:04Z

User792: /* Sources */ Clarified Rav Aharon Lichtenstein's position

[[Image:Destruction_temple.jpg|200px|right]]
The Three Weeks or Yamei Bein Hametzarim (literally the days between the straits are a period of [[mourning]] from the fast of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] until [[Tisha BeAv]], when the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem were destroyed. During this time, Jews observe a number of practices, such as refraining from getting married, listening to music, cutting their hair, and wearing new clothes. The [[Nine Days]], which begin on [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av, are a more stringent period of mourning, during which additional practices are observed.

The Three Weeks consist of separate periods that fall between the three weeks behind shiva asar betaumaz until Tisha BeAv. In each period, the level of restriction increases until reaching a peak with Tisha BeAv. Each period of time consists of additional stringency on top of the prior.

The first period, which is also known as the three weeks, spans the time between Shiva asar BeTamuz until Rosh Chodesh Av (although technically speaking the term three weeks subsume the entire time between Shiva asar betamuz until Tisha Bav). From Rosh Chodesh Av to Tisha Bav is known as the nine days. The week in which Tisha beAv falls is termed "shvua shechal bo" (the week it takes place) and it has its own stringency in different traditions.

==When do the Three Weeks begin?==
#Many authorities hold that the practices of [[mourning]] begin from the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] (before the fast actually begins).<ref>
*The Chida in Sh"t Chaim Sha’al 1:24 writes that one may not make [[shehechiyanu]] the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. Kaf Hachaim 551:207 agrees. Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 maintains that the one may not make a wedding the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] and bases it on the ruling of the Chida not to say [[shehechiyanu]] from the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. He add that according to some achronim the night of the 17th of tammuz is as strict as the [[Nine Days]]. In regards to weddings the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]], Eshel Avraham Mebutchatch OC 551, Nitei Gavriel (Bein HaMetzarim, vol 1, 14:5), Halichot Shlomo (Moadim vol 2, 18:5), and Rabbi Soloveitchik (cited by Rabbi Hershel Schachter in Nefesh Harav page 196) agree. Orchot Rabbeinu (vol 2, pg 127) quotes the Steipler about not taking a haircut the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. See also Rav Elyashiv (cited by Doleh UMashkeh pg 207-208), Divrei Moshe 1:33, [[Shevet Halevi]] 8:168:7 and 10:81:2, Moadim Uzmanim 8:338, and Moadei Yeshurun (pg 128) who agree with this approach.</ref> On the other hand, there are authorities who are lenient in cases of great need, and permit the practices of mourning on the night of Shiva Asar BeTamuz. <ref>*Rav Moshe Feinstein, in Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:168, 3:100 (at the end), and 4:112(2), is lenient about this issue in cases of great need (such as performing a wedding on Motzei [[Shabbat]] the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]). Igrot Moshe 3:100 adds that since saying [[shehechiyanu]] is a dispute there's no need to be strict not to say it the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. Igrot Moshe 4:112(2) writes that for great need one can be lenient to cut one's hair the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha 122:1 agrees. Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 writes that later Rav Moshe was asked about performing a wedding the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] and he advised doing the Chupah before [[Shekiyah]]. Rav Elyashiv (cited by Doleh U’mashke pg 208 note 557) says that in a pressing situation one can be lenient.</ref>
#If [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] falls out on [[Shabbat]] and is pushed off to Sunday, then everyone agrees that the practices of [[mourning]] apply the night of the fast (Motzei Shabbat) as some of them already apply on Shabbat.<ref>Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:168, and 3:100 </ref>

==Eating a New Fruit and Buying New Clothing==
===Shehechiyanu===
# One should refrain from making a [[shehechiyanu]] on a new fruit or new clothing during the Three Weeks. However, if one needs to perform a [[Pidyon Haben|Pidyon HaBen]]<ref>Maamar Mordechai 551:16 adds that Sefardim who have the minhag of reciting [[shehechiyanu]] at a Milah, would say it during the Three Weeks. The reason that Shulchan Aruch didn't mention this explicitly, is because Ashkenazim don't have the practice of saying [[shehechiyanu]] at a Milah, and the Mechaber chose an example that is relevant for everybody. </ref>, then [[shehechiyanu]] is recited, and the mitzvah should not be delayed until after the Three Weeks<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:17, based on Maharil 31 and Sefer Chasidim 840, writes that one should refrain from saying [[shehechiyanu]] during the Three Weeks. The Magen Avraham 551:42 notes that the reason for this halacha is not because this is a time of mourning, as it's permitted for a mourner to recite [[shehechiyanu]] (as per Berachot 59b). Instead, he explains that the reason not to make [[shehechiyanu]] is since this is a period in which Klal Yisrael was punished, it's improper to recite a beracha thanking Hashem for allowing us to survive until this time. However, the Gra s.v. tov, rejects Magen Avraham's explanation, and believes that not reciting [[shehechiyanu]] during the Three Weeks is an extra chumra, as it should be no different from a mourner who may say [[shehechiyanu]]. The Taz 551:17 agrees to be lenient based on the concern that one might pass away during the Three Weeks, and miss out on the chance to say [[shehechiyanu]]. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one shouldn’t be lenient except on [[Shabbat]]. Yalkut Yosef 551:12 rules like Shulchan Aruch that one should refrain from making [[shehechiyanu]] during the Three Weeks. </ref>. Similarly, if there is a fruit that won't be available after the Three Weeks, one is permitted to make a [[shehechiyanu]] and eat it during the Three Weeks.<ref>Rema ibid</ref>
#One shouldn’t make a [[shehechiyanu]] on the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. However, if there is a great need, there’s what to rely on.<ref>Sh”t Sh”t Chaim Shal 1:24, Kaf HaChaim 551:207, Sdei Chemed 5:page 277, Beiur Halacha 551:2 and Ikrei HaDaat O”C 27:9 write that one shouldn’t say [[shehechiyanu]] on the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. However, Nechamat Yisrael (pg 40) permits in case of great need based on Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 1:168 (so is explicit in Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 3:100) and Mishnat Yacov (pg 168) permits [[shehechiyanu]] at night even without any need. </ref>

===Wearing New Clothing or Eating New Fruit===
#During the Three Weeks, one should not wear any new clothing nor eat a new fruit which would obligate one to make a [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:17 writes that it is good not to make a [[shehechiyanu]] on a new fruit or new clothing during the Three Weeks.
*The Sh"t Maharil 15 writes that one shouldn't make a [[shehechiyanu]] on a new fruit or new clothing during the Three Weeks. Shulchan Aruch 551:17 codifies this as halacha saying that it is good not to say [[shehechiyanu]] during the Three Weeks.
* Bach 551 (at the end) agrees and writes should avoid getting into situations that would obligate reciting shehechiyanu; that is, eating a new fruit, buying or wearing new clothing. Kaf HaChaim 551:210 agrees. Also, Mishna Brurah 551:99 writes that one shouldn't eat new fruit or wear new clothing. The Bear Mayim Chaim 7 disagrees with Bach and writes that the only issue is not to make the bracha of [[shehechiyanu]], however, one may eat a new fruit and just not make [[shehechiyanu]]. The Maamar Mordechai 551:14 rejects this idea and doesn't allow eating the new fruit. The Mishna Brurah 551:99, Kaf HaChaim 551:207, and Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot p. 129) agree with the Maamar Mordechai.
* Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:6 rules that it is forbidden to wear new clothes during the week in which [[Tisha BeAv]] falls out and the Rama adds that the Ashkenazic minhag is to be strict on this starting from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av (during the entire [[Nine Days]]). The Magen Avraham 551:21 is bothered why there is another prohibition to wear new clothes (Shulchan Aruch 551:6) if one can't wear new clothes anyway because of avoiding making [[shehechiyanu]] during the entire Three Weeks (Shulchan Aruch 551:17). See there where he gives 2 answers. The Kaf HaChaim 551:88 answers that avoiding [[shehechiyanu]] is only considered preferable by Shulchan Aruch 551:17, while not wearing new clothes during the week during which [[Tisha BeAv]] falls out is an actual prohibition.</ref> Because it is proper to refrain from saying [[shehechiyanu]], one should not put himself into a situation which would necessitate its recitation.<ref>Sh”t Chaim Sheol O”C 7 and Ketonet Yosef 11 (quoted in Kaf HaChaim 551:207) writes that even though one can’t make a [[shehechiyanu]] during the 3 weeks, one can eat a new fruit and wear new clothing without a Bracha. However, the Sefer Chasidim 840, Shaarei Knesset HaGedolah 551:52, Bach 551, Maamer Mordechai 551:14, Yometz Ometz 56, Bear Heitev 551:20, and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 write that one is not allowed to eat a new fruit during the Three Weeks without a Bracha, since eating a new fruit requires a Bracha and it can’t be made during the Three Weeks. Birkei Yosef 551:12, Shaare Teshuva 551:38, and Kaf Hachayim 551:215 hold that a [[shehechiyanu]] may be recited if by mistake he already made the borei pri haetz over a new fruit. </ref>
#During the [[Nine Days]] one should not buy new clothing.<ref>Rama 551:7 writes that buying new clothing is forbidden during the [[Nine Days]] just like fixing new clothing.</ref> See [[Nine_Days#Buying_or_Wearing_New_Clothing]] for details.
# A pregnant woman or a sick person is permitted to eat new fruit.<ref>Mishna Brurah 551:99, Yalkut Yosef 551:13 </ref>

===Buying New Clothing===
#Since nowadays we don’t make a [[shehechiyanu]] on buying new clothes but only for wearing new clothes, some permit buying new clothes and some forbid.<ref>Halichot Shlomo p. 411 brings from the Talmidim of Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach that it’s permissible to buy new clothes since nowadays we don’t make a Bracha on buying clothes. This is the ruling of Mishna Brurah 551:45 and Kaf Hachayim 551:88, see Nechamet Yisrael pg 40 </ref>
#If one doesn't have non-leather shoes for [[Tisha BeAv]] and one forgot to buy, one may buy them in the [[Nine Days]].<ref>Sh"t Halachot Ketanot 1:139, Zeh HaShulchan (vol 2, Siman 551), Iggerot Moshe OC 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 </ref>

===Fixing Old Clothing===
#Knitting and needle-craft is prohibited during the [[Nine Days]].<ref>Rav Shimon Eider Halachos of the Three Weeks page 11. </ref> Repairing a torn garment is permitted.<ref>Iggerot Moshe, OC 3:79. </ref>

===On Shabbat===
# On [[Shabbat]], many poskim are lenient to allow one to recite [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Sefer Chasidim 840, Mateh Moshe 697, Yosef Ometz 861, Magen Avraham 551:21,42, Chaye Adam 133:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2, and Sh"t Yechave Daat 1:37 permit making [[shehechiyanu]] on [[Shabbat]]. However, the Magen Avraham 551:42 quotes the Kitvei HaArizal who is machmir even on [[Shabbat]]. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one can be lenient regarding making [[shehechiyanu]] on [[Shabbat]] since there’s some are lenient on [[shechiyanu]] during all of the Three Weeks and there’s some who specifically permit [[Shabbat]]. </ref>
#On [[Shabbat]] Chazon one shouldn’t wear new clothes that would require [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Eliyah Rabba 551:17 in name of Madenei [[Yom Tov]] that one should not wear new clothes even on [[Shabbat]] during the Three Weeks because wearing new clothes has a special aspect of happiness (which is greater than eating a new fruit). This is also the opinion of the Derech HaChaim 551:6 and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 not to wear new clothes all Three Weeks including [[Shabbat]]. However, Chaye Adam 133:14 and Aruch HaShulchan 551:38 writes that one can make [[shehechiyanu]] before [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av, but afterwards one shouldn’t make [[shehechiyanu]] even on [[Shabbat]]. Additionally, Mishna Brurah 551:45 writes that even those who are lenient to make [[shehechiyanu]] on [[Shabbat]] during the Three Weeks will agree to be strict on [[Shabbat]] Chazon not to wear new clothes (which has a special element of happiness that a new fruit doesn’t have). Sh”t Yechave Daat 1:37 and Torat HaMoadim 5:7 concurs to the opinion of Mishna Brurah. </ref> There is also a minhag not to wear new clothing that don't require a [[shehechiyanu]] specifically during the Nine Days.<ref>Rama 551:7, Mishna Brurah 551:9</ref> See further on the [[Nine Days#Buying Clothing|Nine Days]] page.
===Bracha for a Baby===
#A person should recite a [[shehechiyanu]] upon the birth of a baby boy or girl during the Three Weeks, because this Bracha cannot be pushed off until after the Three Weeks.<ref>Nitei Gavriel 17:19, Avnei Yishpeh 5:80 based on Maharil 31 who says the restriction of saying [[shehechiyanu]] is only on a beracha that can wait until after. </ref>
===Pidyon Haben===
#A [[shehechiyanu]] should be recited for the [[Pidyon Haben]] even during the Three Weeks.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 551:17, Moed Likol Chai 9:25 </ref>

===Hatov Vihametiv===
#One may say the Bracha of [[HaTov VeHaMeitiv]] during the Three Weeks.<ref>Nitei Gavriel 17:22, Shaare [[Teshuvah]] 551:10, Moed Likol Chai 9:24, Machazik Beracha 551:10, Rav Chaim Kanievsky quoted in Nechamas Yisroel page 45:footnote 14, Rivevot Ephraim 4:135:2, 7:58, 234, Avnei Yushfe 5:81 quoting Rav Wosner, Or Letzion 3:25:4 </ref>

===Sales===
#If there is a sale and one will be unable to purchase the same clothing after [[Tisha BeAv]] at the sale price, one may buy the item during the [[Nine days]], but may not wear the clothing until after [[Tisha BeAv]].<ref>Rabbi Moshe Feinstein quoted in Mesoras Moshe volume 2 O"C 262, Ohr Letzion volume 3 26:2 end of note 2.</ref>

===Tzitzit and Tefillin===
#If one doesn't have [[Tefillin]] or one has the opportunity to buy nicer [[Tefillin]], it's permissible to buy them even after [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av.<ref>Zeh HaShulchan (vol 1, Siman 551), Iggerot Moshe OC 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 </ref>
#One should refrain from buying [[Tzitzit]] or a [[Tallit]] during the Three Weeks.<ref>Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein writes that one should refrain from buying [[Tzitzis]] or a Talis. Similarly, Or LeArba Asar (pg 81) writes that one should buy and wear it (and make [[shehechiyanu]]) before the Three Weeks, however, after the fact if one didn't and one doesn't have as nice a pair one is permitted to wear it. Sh"t Birkat Reuven Shlomo 9:31 agrees. She'elat Yaavetz 82 says that if your [[tzitzit]] become pasul and you don't have another, you may wear or even purchase a new one to fulfill the mitzva. </ref>
#One should not purchase a new talit gadol as this would require making a shehechiyanu. However, one may purchase a new tallit katan since shehechiyanu is not recited.<ref>Iggerot Moshe 3:80</ref> One may also purchase a tallit gadol if it doesn't have strings up until Rosh Chodesh Av.<ref>Moadei Yeshurun pg. 129:13b and pg. 152:34 in the name of Rav Moshe</ref>

===Cars===
#One should refrain from buying a car during the Three Weeks unless one is buying it primarily for business purposes.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein in Igrot Moshe 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375</ref>
#Also, if one's entire family will use it and benefit from it, then one may buy it until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av and make a bracha of HaTov VeHaMetiev instead of [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Sh"t Igrot Moshe 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375, Nitay Gavriel Page 51 </ref>

===Furniture and Appliances===
#Some poskim permit buying a closet or cabinet during the [[Nine Days]], while others forbid it.<ref>Torat Hamoadim 5:16 says that buying closets or cabinets doesn't make one joyful and is therefore permitted but Iggerot Moshe 3:82 says a bookshelf does make people happy and is not allowed to be bought. </ref>
#Some poskim permit buying any necessary appliance, such as a refrigerator, washing machine, or bed, to replace one that broke during the Three Weeks.<ref>Piskei Teshuvot 551:11 </ref>

==Weddings==

#The Ashkenazic custom is not to get married during the Three Weeks.<ref>Rama 551:2 and Darchei Moshe 551:5 based on the Sefer Haminhagim, Chayei Adam 133:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:1, Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMetsarim (Rabbi Moshe Karp) 3:1, Nitei Gavriel Bein Hametzarim vol. 1, 14:8. On the night of Shiva Asar Bitammuz itself, Rav Moshe Feinstein (OC 168) is lenient, while Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 is strict. </ref> Among Sephardim, some have just the custom not to get married during the [[Nine Days]] (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av until [[Tisha BeAv]]) <ref>Shulchan Aruch 551:2, based on gemara Yevamot 43b, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 140), Sh"t Yabia Omer OC 6:43, Sh"t Yechave Daat 1:36, Sh"t Or Litzion 3:25:1 </ref> and some have the custom not to get married the entire Three Weeks.<ref>Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim Halacha 4 based on the Shyarei Knesset Hagedola, Sdei Chemed 6 Marechet Bein Hametzarim 1:10, [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=946 Rabbi Mansour on DailyHalacha.com] says that this is the Syrian minhag. </ref>
#Some say that it is permitted for an Ashkenazi to attend a sefardi wedding before [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av, and they may even dance at the wedding.<ref>Nitei Gavriel Bein Hametzarim vol. 1, 14:10, Teshuvot Vihanhagot 4:128 </ref> Others hold that it is forbidden.<ref>Rivevot Ephraim 6:289</ref>
#Technically, it is permitted to get married on Motzaei [[Tisha BeAv]], but some have the custom not to. If one is unsure what his custom is, he can be lenient and rely on the ikar hadin that it is permitted.<ref>Sh"t Yabia Omer 2:23:16, Sh"t Yechave Daat 5:41. </ref>

===Engagement===

#It is permitted to become engaged and write tenaim during the [[Nine Days]], even on [[Tisha BeAv]] itself, as long as there is no meal, music, or dancing.<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:2 with Magen Avraham 551:10, and Mishna Brurah 551:16 and 19, Tur 551 in the name of Rav Nissim, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:1, Pri Megadim Eshel Avraham 551:10, Baer Heitev 551:11, Moed Likol Chai 9:18, Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim 1:5, Chayei Adam 133:8, Aruch Hashulchan 551:8, Yalkut Yosef Moadim page 553. <br />
However, the Tzitz Eliezer (13:60) notes that many Jews refrain from doing so on Tisha B'Av. In addition, the Ben Ish Chai (Devarim: Halacha 4) writes that in Baghdad, they would not get engaged during the Nine Days between Rosh Chodesh Av and Tisha B'Av. He says further that it is preferred not to get engaged at all during the "Three Weeks." </ref> Until [[Rosh Chodesh]], one is allowed to celebrate the engagement with a festive meal but without dancing.<ref>Mishna Brurah 551:19 </ref>
#It is permitted for the chattan and kallah to wear Shabbat clothing to their engagement party.<ref>Halichos Shlomo Moadim 2:14:4 </ref>
#Some poskim allow buying the engagement ring during the Nine Days,<ref>Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach in Shalmei Simcha page 61 </ref> while others are strict unless there will be a financial loss.<ref>Igros Moshe E.H. 4:84 </ref>

==Meals or Activities with Friends==

#Some say that it is forbidden to have meals with friends during the Nine Days.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 551:8</ref> However, if it isn't a meal but only desserts, that is okay.<ref>Nitai Gavriel (Ben Hametzarim 16:1) based on Magen Avraham 551:10</ref>
#An engagement or vort may be celebrated with a meal during the Three Weeks until Rosh Chodesh Av.<ref>Mishna Brurah 551:19 (with Shaar Hatziyun 551:26) holds that having a meal for writing the tenayim, agreement that a couple will get married, is permitted during the Three Weeks since it is a mitzvah. Laws of Daily Living: The Three Weeks (p. 45) agrees and applies this to engagements and vorts.</ref>
#It is permitted to celebrate a birthday party during the Three Weeks until Rosh Chodesh Av.<ref>Laws of Daily Living: The Three Weeks (p. 45)</ref> Regarding a good bye party one should ask one's rabbi.
# Is it permissible to go a sports game during the Three Weeks? Some poskim permit it and consider any music that is listened to as incidental. Other poskim forbid it because it is like an activity done with a group of friends which is forbidden during the Three Weeks. Even within those who permit, some only permit until Rosh Chodesh but not in the Nine Days.<ref>Tiferet Efraim pp. 481-482 quotes Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky (Kovetz Halachot pp. 15-18) who permitted going to a sports game even during the Nine Days and didn't consider the music to be a problem. Since the music isn't the main focus and is just incidental it is fine. However, he also quotes Rav Moshe Feinstein (Shemaytata Dmoshe 551:6) as holding that it is permitted during the Three Weeks but not the Nine Days. Rav Soloveitchik as quoted there held that going to a sports game is forbidden during the Three Weeks because it is a group activity, where being there with others is a simcha shel rabbim.</ref>
#It is permissible to give gifts during the Three Weeks until Rosh Chodesh. However, one should not give a gift that would require the recipient to recite [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Shaarei Teshuva 551:18*, Laws of Daily Living: The Three Weeks (p. 45)</ref>

==Cutting Hair==

#According to Ashkenazim it’s forbidden to cut one’s hair for the entire Three Weeks, however, according to Sephardim one can cut hair until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]].<ref>The Gemara in Taanit 26b says that one shouldn’t cut one’s hair the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. This Gemara is brought as Halacha by the Rambam (Taaniot 5:6). The Ramban (Torat HaAdam ([[Aveilut]] Yishana pg 346) explains that this prohibition applies to all hair on the body except the mustache if it interferes with eating. The Tur and S”A 551:3,12-13 rule like the Ramban that during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] one is forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body except if there’s facial hair interfering with eating. Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158) and Ben Ish Chai Devarim 12 write that this is Sephardic custom. However, Darkei Moshe 551:5 and Rama 551:4 rules that Ashkenazim should be strict not to cut hair all Three Weeks like the Sefer Minhagim (pg 74). Levush 3, Chayei Adam 133:8, Mishna Brurah 551:82, Aruch Hashulchan 551:31, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:3. Aruch Hashulchan 551:16 says the reason for this is that if we were allowed to get haircuts until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av it would not be clear that we grew our hair for [[mourning]], therefore we stop cutting it for the entire Three Weeks. </ref> One should wait until after [[chatzot]] on the tenth of Av to get a haircut.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 551:16. </ref>
#For Sephardim, it is permitted to take a haircut during the Three Weeks, even for a Sephardic Yeshiva Bachur in a Ashkenazi Yeshiva.<ref>Sh”t Yechave Daat 4:36, 3:39, Sh”t Yabia Omer 3:31:5, Yalkut Yosef (Kitzur S”A 551(2):11) </ref> However, it’s preferable to be strict not to cut the entire Three Weeks.<ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158-9) </ref>
#The father of a baby boy, the sandak, and the mohel can all cut their hair on the day of a baby's [[brit milah]].<ref>Shaar Hatziyun 551:4 quoting the Chatam Sofer 158, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:15, Kaf ha-Chayim 551:10, Pitchei [[Teshuvah]] 551:1, She’arim Metzuyanim b'Halachah 122:16. Baer Heitev 551:3 is stringent. </ref>
# If there is a [[Pidyon Haben]] during the Three Weeks, according to Sephardim the father may shave or cut his hair,<ref>Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot v. 2 p. 335)</ref> while according to Ashkenazim they may not.<ref>[https://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=46439&pgnum=135 Nitai Gavriel 20:5]</ref>
#It is forbidden to take a haircut for a bar mitzva.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 128. Rivevot Ephraim (1:337 and 2:155:20) and [https://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=46439&pgnum=135 Nitei Gavriel 20:6] quoting some opinions allow for a bar mitzva boy to get a haircut until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. </ref>
#Some say that if one’s hair is so long that it is a chatzitzah for [[tefillin]] then one is permitted to get a haircut.<ref>Shalmei Moed page 476, Nitei Gavriel 19:7 </ref>
#It is permitted to cut one's hair during the Three Weeks if it will cause great monetary loss, but not during the week of Tisha B'av. If it will not cause loss, it is prohibited even if the hair makes him uncomfortable.<ref>Iggerot Moshe OC 4:102. See Igros Moshe Choshen Mishpat 93. see also See also Halichos Shlomo Moadim vol. 2 page 414 </ref>
#Some poskim allow a child under the age of six to get a haircut.<ref>Iggerot Moshe YD 1:224 and Aruch Hashulchan 551:31. Mishna Brurah 551:81 and Shaar Hatziyun 551:91 as well as the Chayei Adam 133:18 conclude that children even below 6 should not get haircuts and bring two reasons from the Terumat Hadeshen 142. One being [[chinuch]], in which case it would only apply to older than six and the other being "agmat nefesh," meaning it makes people feel more pain to see children [[mourning]], in which case it would apply to even children under 6. Chanoch lanaar 21:2:1, Nitei Gavriel 20:7, Rivevot Ephraim 1:336:2, 2:155:19 say that if an upsherin falls out during the Three Weeks one should either push it up or postpone it. Torat Yekutiel 1:47 is lenient. </ref>
#It is permitted to comb and style one's hair during the Three Weeks and [[Nine Days]], and one doesn't have to worry that one will pull out hairs.<ref>Eliya Rabba 551:7, Shaare Teshuva 551:12, Mishna Brurah 551:20, Aruch Hashulchan 551:15, Sh"t Yechave Daat 6:35, Ben Ish Chai Devarim 14, Kaf Hachayim 551:46. </ref>
#The poskim debate if one can trim his eyebrows during the Three Weeks.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein (quoted in Nitei Gavriel Bein Hametzarim pg. 130) says that may not do so during the Three Weeks either. Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (Halichot Shlomo vol. 2: pg. 414) disagrees and permits it. Devar Halachah 9, Shalmei Moed page 477 agrees. </ref>

===Women===
#It is permissible for a woman to cut her hair during the Three Weeks if she needs to do so in order to get married, if she is already engaged, or if a woman has the custom of cutting her hair before going to the mikveh.<ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 163), Shalmei Moed (pg 477), Igrot Moshe YD 2:137, Halichot Shelomo 3:14, Devar Halachah 10, Shalmei Moed Perek 89. See also Nefesh Harav 191-192 where he writes that it makes sense to say that women should be allowed to get haircuts up until the week of Tisha B'av. </ref>
#If a woman’s hair is growing so long that it is becoming difficult for her to keep the hair under the head covering, she can cut it during the Three Weeks.<ref>Mishnah Brurah 551:79, Rivevot Ephraim 8:178 </ref>
#It is permitted to put on makeup as one would on a regular day of the year but not something extra special.<ref>[http://www.tzohar.org.il/?p=1652 Rav Broner on tzohar.org.il], [http://din.org.il/2016/07/25/%D7%90%D7%99%D7%A4%D7%95%D7%A8-%D7%95%D7%A1%D7%99%D7%93%D7%95%D7%A8-%D7%92%D7%91%D7%95%D7%AA-%D7%91%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/ din.org.il], and [http://shut.moreshet.co.il/shut2.asp?id=26322 Rav Sherlow]. This is also the implication of the Nitai Gavriel (Ben Hametzarim 73 fnt. 10).</ref>
#Some say that it is permitted to dye your hair during the Nine Days.<ref>http://www.kipa.co.il/%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%9C-%D7%90%D7%AA-%D7%94%D7%A8%D7%91/%D7%A6%D7%91%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%AA-%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%A8-%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/</ref> Others say that it is only permitted in the Three Weeks before the Nine Days.<ref>http://shut.moreshet.co.il/shut2.asp?id=116844, https://www.toraland.org.il/%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%9C%D7%95%D7%AA-%D7%95%D7%AA%D7%A9%D7%95%D7%91%D7%95%D7%AA/%D7%91%D7%9E%D7%A2%D7%92%D7%9C-%D7%94%D7%A9%D7%A0%D7%94/%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/%D7%A6%D7%91%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%AA-%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%A8-%D7%91%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%99%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/. http://www.shoresh.org.il/spages/shut/shut4811.htm writes that it is permitted during the Nine Days if there's a specific pressing need otherwise it should be delayed. </ref>

===Wigs===
#Women may get their sheitels cut or styled during the Three Weeks, as sheitels are considered their garments, not their hair.<ref>Nitei Gavriel (Bein Hamitzarim pg. 139) </ref>

==Shaving==

#There is a general prohibition of [[shaving]] during the Three Weeks. However, there are several situations which may warrant [[shaving]], including a person who shaves everyday, [[shaving]] for work, and [[shaving]] for Kavod [[Shabbat]]. As each one of these is a dispute and unclear if it is totally permissible, a person should follow his father’s minhag or ask his local Rabbi for guidance.<ref>Since S”A 551:12 rules that it’s forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] as a din from the Gemara it would seem clear that it’s forbidden to shave during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. Additionally, Ashkenazim who follow the Rama shouldn’t be able to shave during the entire Three Weeks as Rama 551:4 writes that the minhagim of the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] apply to the entire Three Weeks. However, there are several leniencies in the Achronim.

*(1) [[Shaving]] Regularly: Magen Avraham 551:14 explains that the reason the Rama is strict by cutting hair all three week and is lenient by washing clothes (that it should only begin from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av) is because it wasn’t common to cut hair every week. This Magen Avraham is brought by the Achronim including the Chaye Adam 133:17, and Mishna Brurah 551:32. Additionally, Aruch HaShulchan 551:16 explains that it takes 3 weeks of not cutting hair to make it recognizable that one is in [[mourning]]. Based on this, Shearim Metzuyanim BeHalacha 122:5 says that those who usually shave every 2-3 days should be able to shave since for them it’s just like washing clothes. Rav Ovadyah in Chazon Ovadyah (Vol Arba Taniot pg 162) based on this M”A says that seemingly, Ashkenazim should be allowed to shave for Kavod [[Shabbat]] prior to the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. However, Sh”t Shaar Zekenim pg 88a (quoted by Kaf HaChaim 551:65), Shivilei Dovid 551:4, and Rav Vozner in Sh”t Shevet HaLevi 10:81:3 reject this leniency based on the minhag to be strict for all circumstances.
*(2) Uncomfortable: (a) Rabbi Elazar Melamed in Peninei Halacha (zmanim pg 154-5) writes that if a person shaves everyday it’s very uncomfortable not to shave and it’s similar to S”A 551:13 that permits [[shaving]] a moustache that interferes with eating. (b)Rav Soloveitchik (quoted by Nefesh HaRav, Rav Schachter pg 191 and Shiurei Harav Al Inyanei [[Aveilut]] V'Tisha B'Av, pages 20-21 compared the Three Weeks to the [[Aveilut]] of a year, the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] (or according to Ashkenazim, from [[Rosh Chodesh]]) compares to the [[Aveilut]] of Shloshim, and [[Tisha BeAv]] itself is like [[Aveilut]] of [[Shiva]]. Accordingly, Rav Schachter writes that one who regularly shaves every day would be allowed to shave everyday until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. (Rav Schachter supports this comparison from Sh”t Panim Meirot 3:37e, and goes so far as to question Sh”t Igrot Moshe Y”D 2:137 who compares the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] to [[Aveilut]] of [[Shiva]].)
*(3) [[Shaving]] Specifically: Seemingly, from S”A 551:12 all bodily hair can’t be cut including [[shaving]] a beard. However, Sh”t Chatam Sofer Y”D 348 s.v. VeIy Galach writes that the entire prohibition only applies to cutting one’s hair but the poskim never spoke about [[shaving]] facial hair. This chiluk is also made by the Sh”t Nodeh BeYehuda O”C 14. Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha 122:5 brings these achronim as halacha for someone who needs to shave for work.
*(4) Monetary loss: (a)Sh”t Maharam Shik Y”D 371 writes that there is what to defend those who it’s difficult to do business with important people without [[shaving]] and during the year they regularly shave every 2-3 days to continue in the Three Weeks until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. (b) Sh”t Igrot Moshe C”M 1:93, O”C 4:102, 5:24:9 writes that by losing a business deal or customers that will affect one’s income after [[Tisha BeAv]], one can shave until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]], but during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] itself it’s only permissible to shave if one will not be able to make an income after [[Tisha BeAv]] or without working one needs to borrow money and it’s difficult to find someone to borrow from). Halachos of the Three Weeks by Rabbi Eider p. 3 writes that a person who needs to shave for work can shave during the Three Weeks but shouldn't during the Nine Days or at least the week when Tisha B'av falls out.(c) Maadenei Shlomo pg 51 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that if there’s a chance you’ll lose your job you can shave (even during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]). Halichot Shlomo pg 414 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that it’s permissible for a person who is in danger of losing a lot of money or his job may shave during the Three Weeks. (d)Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha brings the Taz 551:1 (brought by Mishna Brurah 551:12) that says nowadays we don’t decrease our business activity during this time since we have to pay government taxes and all income is included in our [[Parnasa]] and therefore here too if there’s a chance of losing [[Parnasa]] that can be considered a concern of loss of money.
*<div id="shavingforkavodshabbos"></div> (4) Kavod [[Shabbat]]: (a) Magen Avraham 551:14 and Mishna Brurah 551:32 write that the prohibition of cutting hair applies even for Kavod [[Shabbat]] (unlike [[laundering]] which is relaxed for Kavod [[Shabbat]] for someone who doesn't have other clothes, because people don't cut their hair either way weekly). Yet, Pri Megadim (A”A 551:14) writes that according to Rama one can shave in honor of [[Shabbat]] until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. However, Mateh Yehuda 551:4 writes that even in honor of [[Shabbat]] one can’t shave during the Three Weeks. (b) On this dispute, Kaf HaChaim 551:66 writes that in this regard in depends on the minhag of the place (to follow the Pri Megadim or not), and Rabbi Moshe Karp in Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMeysarim (pg 25) writes that the Pri Megadim was more in line with minhag Ashkenaz than the Mateh Yehuda and there’s a lot to rely on to follow Pri Megadim. (c) Even on the original position of the Magen Avraham, the Hagahot Rabbi Akiva Eiger and Beiur Halacha 551:3 s.v. VeChen (based on Tosfot Tanit and the Yerushalmi) argue that cutting hair should be permissible for Kavod [[Shabbat]] even for [[Shabbat]] Chazon. [However, the Rishonim themselves don’t all agree with Tosfot including the Kol Bo (quoted in Bet Yosef 551:4) who wouldn’t shave before [[Shabbat]] chazon and the Bet Yosef (who argues on Tosfot that it’s impossible to think that it’s permissible to cut hair on [[Tisha BeAv]] for Kavod [[Shabbat]]).] (d) Ashkenazim: Sh”t Ner Ezra (vol 2 pg 155-8) concludes that one can be lenient to shave for Kavod [[Shabbat]] and quotes Rav Aharon Lichtenstein who agrees. However, after making Aliyah and discussing the matter with Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, [https://www.etzion.org.il/en/holidays/three-weeks/three-weeks-and-nine-days Rav Lichtenstein stopped shaving at all during the three weeks]. [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/pinchas.html Weekly Parsha Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt] writes that since many do shave regularly (more than once a week) there is a basis for the lenient minhag (based on the logic of the Magen Avraham). Nonetheless, the Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 42:52 writes simply like the Mishna Brurah not to shave during the Three Weeks even for Kavod [[Shabbat]]. (e)Sephardim: Rav Ovadyah Yosef (Sh"t Yechave Daat 3:39, Sh”t Yabia Omer 3:31:5; Chazon Ovadyah pg 162) writes that there is what to rely on to shave Friday of [[Shabbat]] Chazon if ones beard is uncomfortable, and certainly there’s what to rely on for Ashkenazim to shave for Kavod [[Shabbat]] during the rest of the Three Weeks. (e) Someone in doubt: Rabbi Rabinowitz (quoted in Peninei Halacha by 156) says that a person should follow the minhag of his father so as not to appear more lenient or strict that his father.</ref>
#A mourner who completed his [[mourning]] period during the Three Weeks, may take a haircut and a shave until [[Rosh Chodesh]].<ref>Mishna Brurah 551:87, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:14 </ref>
#Women may shave their legs if necessary.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 128 note 9, Kitzur Hilchot Bein hametzarim page 4. </ref>

==Dancing==

#Dancing is forbidden during the Three Weeks, even if not done in the context of a joyous occasion.<ref>Magen Avraham 551:10 says explicitly that it is forbidden to dance during the Three Weeks even if not in the context of a joyous occasion such as an engagement. The Eliya Rabba 551:6, Pri Megadim E"A 551:10, Baer Hetiev 551:11, Mishna Brurah 551:16, Ben Ish Chai (Shana Rishona, Devarim no. 5), Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg 560, Kitzur S”A 551:9), Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 149), Simchat Cohen 162, and Lehorot Natan 10:49 all concur that dancing is forbidden during the Three Weeks. </ref>
#Some poskim are lenient to permit dancing at a sheva brachot during the Three Weeks for someone who got married before the Three Weeks.<ref>Lehorot Natan 10:49 explains that not dancing during the Three Weeks is a minhag but making the chatan and kallah happy at sheva brachot is a biblical or rabbinic obligation.</ref> Other poskim forbid it and even recommend not having a sheva brachot meal.<ref>Keneh Bosem 3:36. Nitai Gavriel (Three Weeks 6:5) cites poskim about this dispute.</ref>

==Swimming==

#Many hold that it is permissible to swim during the Three Weeks except in dangerous waters until the [[Nine Days]] (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av).<ref>Sh"t Teshuvot VeHanhagot 2:263, Piskei Teshuvot 551:46 [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/735559/Rabbi_Aryeh_Lebowitz/Halachos_of_the_Three_Weeks Rabbi Ayreh Lebowitz], Moadei Yeshurun (pg 128) quoting Rav Moshe, Halichot Shlomo (Moadim, vol 2, chap 14, note 7), MeBayit Levi (vol 13, pg 22, note 5) quoting Rav Wosner, Sh"t Rivevot Ephraim 3:333, 4:135:14, 6:285:2, Shevet HaKehati 1:169:4, and Laws of Daily Living: The Three Weeks (p. 46). [http://books.google.com/books?id=k2lV5wQwwj0C&lpg=PA34&ots=yg-xJtgt00&dq=swimming%20during%20the%20three%20weeks&pg=PA12#v=onepage&q=swimming%20during%20the%20three%20weeks&f=false Rabbi Eider] quotes Rav Moshe Iggerot Moshe Even Haezer 4:84 who says even during the [[Nine Days]] if one is sweating or dirty and wants to wash off it's permissible to dip in the pool for a short time. Shaarim mitzuyanim bihalacha kuntres acharon 122:12 is lenient with children swimming in private area during the [[Nine Days]], but not in public, like camps. Yechave Daat 1:38 says that Sephardim are permitted to swim throughout the Three Weeks, [[Nine Days]], and week of [[Tisha BeAv]] but Ashkenazim who follow the Rama should not. [https://itorah.com/power-search-results/6/2181 Rabbi Eli Mansour] writes that the Syrian minhag is not to swim during the week in which [[Tisha BeAv]] falls out. </ref>

==Bathing and Showering==

#The Ashkenazic custom is not to bathe or shower for all Nine Days even in cold water. The Sephardic custom is only to refrain from a warm bath or shower for the week of [[Tisha BeAv]].<ref>Rambam Hilchot Taaniot 5:6 writes that the custom is not to bathe or shower in warm water the week of Tisha BeAv. Mordechai Taanit 639, however, writes that it begins from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. Both opinions are quoted in Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:16. Rama 551:16 writes that Ashkenazim begin this practice from Rosh Chodesh Av. Mishna Brurah 551:94 agrees. For Sephardim, Kaf Hachayim 551:186 writes that a person should follow the custom of the place where you are living. Yechave Daat 1:38 holds that the Sephardic custom is that one is permitted to shower in cold water throughout. Also, the Sephardic custom is only to stop using hot water for the week of [[Tisha BeAv]].</ref>
#For [[Shabbat Chazon]], Ashkenazim hold that it is forbidden to bathe or shower one's whole body even in cold water. It is permitted to wash one's face, hands, feet, and hair if one usually cleans that for Shabbat.<Ref>Rama 551:16, Mishna Brurah 551:94</ref> Sephardic poskim permit washing the whole body with hot water for Shabbat Chazon.<ref>Yechave Daat 1:38 </ref>
#Many poskim hold that it is permitted to bathe or shower during the Nine Days if the purpose is to remove dirt or sweat.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 551:37. Dirshu 551:109 quotes this same point from Rav Chaim Zonenfeld and Rav Moshe Feinstein. However, they also quote Rav Chaim Kanievsky who held that it is forbidden to take a full body shower during the Nine Days even to remove sweat. Also, Rav Elyashiv only permitted showering during the Nine Days for someone who showered every day even during the winter.</ref>
#Men who have the custom to use the mikveh daily can continue to use a cold mikveh during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] , even according to the custom that people wouldn't swim or shower.<ref>Kaf Hachayim 551:190, Ben Ish Chai Devarim 16, Yechave Daat 1:38 </ref>

==Listening to Music==
{{Listening to Music during the Three Weeks}}

==Meat, Wine, and Laundry==
#Although there is a practice that a minority of people have not to have meat and wine all of the Three Weeks, most only refrain from it for the Nine Days. The details are found on the [[Nine_Days#Eating_Meat_and_Drinking_Wine]] page.
#Laundry is permitted during the Three Weeks until the [[Nine Days]]. See that page for details.
#Cutting nails is permitted during the Three Weeks until the [[Nine Days]].
#Building and planting is permitted during the Three Weeks until the [[Nine Days]].

==Miscellaneous==

#During the Three Weeks a Rabbi should be careful not to hit his students<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:18, Shulchan Shlomo 18, Chayei Adom 133:8. Mishna Brurah 551:103, Bear Heitev 551:41, Taz, Levush, Eshel Avraham Butchatch 551:18, Chayei Adam 133:8 and Aruch Hashulchan 551:39 add that this includes hitting with a strap. Kaf Hachayim 551:232 says that one should refrain even from the slightest hit. </ref> and a parent should not hit his child.<ref>Kitzur S”A 122:2, Kaf Hachayim 551:230, Orchos Rabbeinu 2: page 129:14 </ref>
===Court Cases===
#If a Jew has to have a lawsuit with a non-Jew, he should avoid having it with him in Av, as this is a time of ill fortune for a Jew.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 551:1, Taanit 29b. Mishna Brurah 551:2 based on the Magen Avraham 551:2 says that this applies throughout the month of av until [[rosh chodesh]] [[elul]], but at the minimum until [[Tisha BeAv]]. This is the ruling of the Chayei Adam 133:9, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:7. Ben Ish Chai Devarim Halacha 1 says one should preferably wait until the fifteenth of av but really one has to wait until the tenth. </ref>
===Fasting During the Three Weeks===
#Although some have the custom to fast every day between the seventeenth of tammuz until the ninth of av, this should not be kept by a teacher of torah or somebody who is learning.<ref>Tur 551 and S”A 551:16 as well as the Chayei Adam 133:8 raise this minhag, but Birkei Yosef 551:7, Shaare Teshuva on S”A 551:16, Kaf Hachayim 551:191 and Mishna Brurah 90 say that this should not be done by a talmid chacham because he will not be able to focus on learning. </ref>
===Hagomel===
#One is permitted to recite the bracha of [[Hagomel]] at any point during the Three Weeks, including [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] and [[Tisha BeAv]].<ref>[http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=2349 Rabbi Eli Mansour] </ref>
===Tikkun Chatzot===
#It is praiseworthy to recite "tikkun Rachel" after chatzot (of the day), each day during the Three Weeks. This is in addition to the praiseworthy minhag to recite "[[tikkun chatzot]]" every night after chatzot. "Tikkun Rachel" should not be recited after chatzot of the day on Tish'a Bi'av itself. On Erev Rosh Chodesh, Rosh Chodesh, Erev Shabbat, and Shabbat, "tikkun Rachel" is not recited during the day. This applies to any day that tachanun is not recited as well. For example, the mohel, sandak, and avi haben, should not recite "tikkun Rachel" on the day of the berit milah. "Tikkun Chatzot" is not recited at night during a shemittah year, but a person may nevertheless recite "tikkun Rachel" during the day during the Three Weeks.<ref>Chazon Ovadia Arba Ta'aniyot page 128-129 </ref>

===Travel and Recreation===
# One shouldn't schedule trips and recreational activities for the Three Weeks.<ref>Mikraei Kodesh 5:1 quoting the Masa Chaim of Rav Chaim Palagi that the rabbis of his generation established that people shouldn't go on trips during the Three Weeks. He also writes that this is cited by the Sdei Chemed Ben Hametzarim 1:10 and Nitai Gavriel Ben Hametzarim 23 fnt. 7. He also quotes that he heard from Rav Shaul Yisraeli that one shoudln't go on recreational trips during the Three Weeks. </ref> Some say that if that is the only time a person has to take trips with his family, or it is for medical reasons, it is permitted until the Nine Days.<reF>Mikraei Kodesh 5:1 citing Rav Mordechai Eliyahu</ref>
#During the Three Weeks one should refrain from going to dangerous places and should be even more careful during the [[Nine Days]].<ref>Piskei Teshuvot 551:1, 46. Also see [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=1682 Rabbi Eli Mansour on dailyhalacha.com]. </ref>
#If possible, one should avoid flying on an airplane during the Nine Days.<ref>Halichot Shlomo 14:24</ref>

===Surgery===
#One should not schedule surgery for during the 3 weeks, and certainly not during the 9 days, unless the doctor insists that it cannot be postponed.<ref>Piskei Teshuvot 551:1, Dirshu Mishna Brura 551:note 128 in the name of Rav Shmuel Vosner, Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 130:footnote 44, Emes Liyaakov 551:footnote 515, Nitei Gavriel 23:8. [http://www.doresh-tzion.co.il/QAShowAnswer.aspx?qaid=97499 Rav Bentzion Mussafi] permits until [[Rosh Chodesh]] to get surgery. see also Chazon Ovadia Arba Ta'aniyot page 128 footnote 2 and Halichot Olam vol 2 pg. 134 </ref>

==Haftarot==
# The custom is to read three tragic haftarot during the Three Weeks followed by 7 consolation haftarot.<ref>Tosafot Megillah 31b s.v. Rosh Chodesh Av, Shulchan Aruch 428:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:6 </ref>
# On the [[shabbat]] prior to [[Tisha BeAv]], [[Shabbat Chazon]], we read Isaiah Perek 1:1-27. It is the final of the three tragic haftarot.<Ref>see https://www.ou.org/holidays/the-three-weeks/shabbat_chazon/ </ref>

==Question and Answers==

#Is it permissible to shave during the 3 weeks for Kavod [[Shabbos]]? [[#shavingforkavodshabbos| See above]]

==Links==

*[http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/838353/Rabbi_Ezra_Schwartz/Halachos_of_Three_Weeks Halachos of Three Weeks] by Rabbi Ezra Schwartz
*[http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/714866/Rabbi_Yaakov_B_Neuburger/Halachas_of_the_Three_Weeks_and_Nine_days_-_Shiur_for_Women Halachas of the Three Weeks and Nine days - Shiur for Women] by Rabbi Yaakov Neuberger
*Article on [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/711706/Rabbi_Josh_Flug/The_Laws_Of_Bein_HaMetzarim The Laws Of Bein HaMetzarim] by Rabbi Josh Flug

==Sources==
<references />
{{Holidays}}
[[Category:Holidays]]

Borer

2024-10-09T14:25:20Z

User792: /* Definition and categories of Borer */ Fixed many title case errors

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==Definition and Categories of Borer==
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#Borer is one of the 39 forbidden [[Av]] Melachot of [[Shabbat]]. Borer can be defined as taking something out of a mixture at random and placing it in a designated group or pile.<ref>Sh”t Mechaze Eliyahu in name of Rav Shlomo Zalman and Rav Elyashiv, [[Shabbos]] Kitchen pg 85. Mishna Brurah in his introduction to Siman 319 writes that Borer is one of the [[Av]] Melachot and incurs the same penalties of a Chatat Korban for an unintentional violation and stoning for intentional violation. Unfortunately, many people transgress this prohibition without thinking because it’s a very common activity and almost unavoidable. </ref>
#One violates Borer on a Deoritta level in one of three ways. The common factor between all of them is that such is the normal way Borer is done during the weekday.<ref>Mishna Brurah (319 introduction). </ref>
##Separating refuse from food is a violation of Borer. Even if one takes the food with one’s hands with intent to eat the food immediately, one still violates Borer on a Deoritta level.<ref>Mishna Brurah (319 introduction). </ref>
##Using an instrument specifically designed for separating, such as a strainer or a sieve is a violation of Borer. Even if one takes the food from the refuse for immediate use, nonetheless, one violates Borer on a Deoritta level.<ref>Mishna Brurah (319 introduction). </ref>
##Separating to eat the food after some time. Even if one separates with one’s hands the food from the refuse, one still violates Borer on a Deoritta level.<ref>Mishna Brurah (319 introduction). <br />

*The Gemara (74a) cites a cryptic Braisa, which seems self-contradictory: the Braisa first permits selecting from a food mixture and then rules that doing so is forbidden by Torah law. The Gemara suggests five ways to reconcile the Braisa, three of which remain relevant. First, one may select from a food mixture by hand but it is forbidden by Torah law to select using a specialized sorting instrument such as a sieve. Second, one may select from a food mixture as long as one takes the Ochel (food) from the Psoles (non-food) but it is forbidden by Torah law to select the Psoles from the Ochel. Third, one may select from a food mixture for purposes of immediate consumption but selecting and then putting aside for future use is forbidden by Torah law. * Rabbeinu Chananel (74a-b) understands that the three answers of the Gemara do not disagree; in order to avoid Borer one must fulfill all three conditions by separating the Ochel from the Psoles by hand for immediate use. While the halacha follows Rabbeinu Chananel, since Shulchan Aruch 317:1 agrees with him, it is interesting to note that not all rishonim agree.
*For instance, Rashi 75a s.v. vehatanya holds that as long as a person does the separation immediately before eating it is permitted. Rashi’s opinion seems to be that the primary requirement is that perform an action as part of the process of eating. In any event, Tosfot 75a s.v. vahatanya disagrees with Rashi’s approach and seems to require at least that the selection be for immediate consumption as well done with one’s hand. Perhaps Tosfot believes it is only permitted to separate foods if it is significantly different from the way that a person would separate for storage.</ref>
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==In the Mishkan==

#In the construction of the Mishkan, Borer was performed as part of the process of manufacturing dyes.<ref>Rashi 73a s.v. Haofeh </ref>; after the dye plants were threshed, any impurities that could not be removed by winnowing, such as rocks and pebbles were hand-selected out of the mixture.<ref>Rambam Peirush Hamishnayos 7:2, Rashi 73a s.v. Haborer </ref>

==Separating for Other People==

#One is permitted to separate for other people as long as one does it for immediate use, with one’s hand, and food from the refuse.<ref>Rama 319:1 writes that it’s permissible to separate for others to eat. Mishna Brurah 319:6 clarifies that it’s permissible even if one is preparing for others but he himself isn’t eating from the food that was separated. See Chazon Ovadia Shabbat Vol. 4 page 183 </ref>
#One is permitted to separate for guests (or peel fruits) enough food that it should be presentable even if one knows that not all of the food will be eaten.<ref>Sh”t Rav Pealim 1:12 writes that it’s logical that it’s permissible to separate food to fill a plate or basket for guests even if the guests won’t eat all the food because one is separating for an immediate purpose of serving the guests respectfully. This is also the opinion of Ben Ish Chai (Beshalach 3), Or Letzion (vol 2 chap 31:3), and Shemirat Shabbat Kehilchata (chap 3:40 note 115) in name of Rav Shlomo Zalman.
Rav Ovadia Yosef (Chazon Ovadia Shabbat Vol. 4, pg 185-186 (footnote 7)) disagrees and says you can only separate the necessary amount for guests to eat. </ref>
#It’s permitted to separate for animals as long as it’s for immediate use, with one’s hand, and one separates the food from the refuse.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:7 </ref>

==The Permitted Way to Separate==

#In order to permit selecting on [[Shabbat]] you must fulfill the following three conditions:
##You must separate what you want from what you don’t want.
##You must separate with one’s hand.
##You must separate for immediate use or just prior to a meal (the amount of time it takes to prepare the food).<ref>Gemara Shabbat 74a, Shulchan Aruch O.C. 319:1-2, Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:2 </ref>

==Clarification of the First Condition: Good from Bad==
===Taking Good with Bad===
#It's permissible to remove the refuse together with a piece of a good food.<ref>Taz 319:13 writes that when removing a fly from a drink it’s permissible if one takes the fly with some liquid with it. Most achronim hold like the Taz including Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 80:19, Mishna Brurah 319:61, Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:18, and The 39 Melachos (Rabbi Ribiat, vol 3 pg 419).
*Chazon Ish explained that the Taz means that since the fly was contained in a separate mixture of liquid removing that mixture entirely and not separating within the mixture is permissible. According to this, a significant amount of liquid must be removed with the fly so that it can form it’s own mixture.
*However, [[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 104-5 in the note) writes that the Mishna Brurah disagrees with the Chazon Ish and concludes that a particle of liquid suffices and that the Taz’s leniency would apply to dry foods. The [[Shabbat]] Kitchen explains that the reason of the Taz’s leniency is because of it’s not similar to the way borer is normally done.
*Iglai Tal #6 writes that the Taz’s leniency only allows you to do it right before the eating. [[Shabbos]] Kitchen argues that it should be permitted even for storing away. Menuchat Ahava 7:11 agrees. See Sh”t [[Tefillah]] lemoshe 1:49(9) who argues on the Chazon Ish.</ref>
# Some say that one should make sure that one remove a substantial amount of good together with the bad.<ref>The 39 Melachos (Rabbi Ribiat, vol 3 pg 421) based on Chazon Ish </ref>
===In One's Mouth===
#If one has food in one’s mouth one may remove what you don't want from what you want.<ref>Igrot Moshe O”C 4:74 Borer 7, Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:11, and [[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 103) </ref>
===Peels===
#If a food has a peel that covers it entirely one may remove the part that’s unwanted (peel) from the part that’s desired (fruit), however this action must be done right before the meal and with one's hand.<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 321:19, Biur Halacha 321:19:4 s.v. LeKlof, Menuchat Ahava (vol 2 7:11), and Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:29 </ref>
#Where it’s impossible to separate the food from the waste it’s permissible to take out the waste. For example, one who cuts open a cantaloupe may scoop out the seeds and leave the fruit.<ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 103) in name of Rav Scheinberg </ref>
#It is permissible to remove an inedible shell or peel from a food as long as it’s done by hand and immediately prior to eating. Examples include:
##eggshells
##onion peel
##potato peel
##banana peel
##sausages peel
##melon peel
##peanut shell.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:31,34, Menuchat Ahava (vol 2, 7:7) </ref>

===Taking Refuse from the Food===

#It is forbidden to separate on [[Shabbat]] by taking the refuse from the food. It is forbidden even when it’s done with one hand.<ref>S”A 319:4 writes that it’s forbidden to take the refuse from food even with one hand. Mishna Brurah 319:17 writes that even though some don’t have the words “one hand” in S”A, still one shouldn’t be lenient to take to take refuse from food with one hand. This halacha is also found in Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:22. </ref>
#One violates Borer by taking the refuse from the food even if one only separated a portion of the refuse and didn’t complete the separation.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:10 </ref>
#It’s forbidden to separate refuse from food even if the refuse is slightly edible.<ref>Mishna Brurah 319:7 writes that it is rabbinically forbidden to separate the refuse from the food even if a refuse is slightly edible. </ref>

===Taking a Desired Food from an Undesired One===

#If there are two foods that are mixed and one wants one to eat one now and not the other, the one he wants to eat is called the ‘food’ and the unwanted one is called the ‘refuse’ and so it is forbidden to take the unwanted one from the other.<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 319:10, Mishna Brurah 319:13-4, [[Shabbos]] Kitchen pg 86 </ref>
#For example, if almonds and walnuts are mixed, and one only intends to eat the almonds, one may take the almonds from the mixture but not the walnuts.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:3 </ref>

===Separating Two Foods to be Used for Later===

#If there’s two foods (meaning both are desired for use) there’s a dispute whether one is allowed to separate for later use, Ashkenazim should be strict and Sephardim may be lenient.<ref>The Pri Megadim (M”Z 319:2) writes that there’s a logic to permit separating two foods if one will eat both but just after some time since in this case there’s no food being taken from refuse, and concludes with a Tzarich Iyun. However, the Mishna Brurah 319:12 (also reiterated in Biur Halacha 319:3:1 s.v. Hayu) based on Tosafot [[Shabbat]] 74a s.v. "hay lifanav shnei mini ochlin" argues that it’s a definite violation of Borer to separate the two foods. Or Letzion (vol 2 chap 31 note 4), Menuchat Ahava, and [[Shabbos]] Kitchen (84) rule like Mishna Brurah. Yalkut Yosef ([[Shabbat]] vol 3 pg 279; see Sh”t Yabia Omer 5:31:5) brings two opinions and leaves it as a doubt. Sh”t Maharshag 1:54 also leaves this question in doubt. </ref>
#It’s permissible to separate a food that’s not desired now but desired for later in the same meal from another food that’s desired right now.<ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 103), Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:65 </ref>

===Examples===

#It’s permissible to remove a sticker, label, or foil stuck to [[challah]], as long as it is done right before eating.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:31 </ref>
#One may remove honeydew or other melon seeds which are concentrated in the center of the fruit if done right before eating.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:33. He explains that since it is impossible to access the fruit without removing the seeds, they are similar to a peel which is permitted to remove and isn't considered a forbidden separation of bad from good. Nonetheless, it should be done for immediate consumption. He adds that Rav Shlomo Zalman held that seeds which spill out of the fruit easily aren't considered one unit with the fruit at all.</ref>
#A knife isn’t considered a utensil designated for borer and may be used to peel.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:31 </ref>
#One may remove a stem from a fruit right before eating.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:35 </ref>
#It’s permissible to crack a nut with a nutcracker.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:38 explains that a nutcracker just breaks the shell but doesn’t complete the separation. </ref>
#If a candy wrapper got stuck to the candy, one should only remove the wrapper right before eating.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:39 </ref>

==Clarification of the Second Condition: With One's Hand==

#It’s forbidden to use a sieve or strainer.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 319:1 </ref>
#A utensil like a fork is permissible if it’s used as an extension to one’s hand, meaning it’s used not to get one’s hands dirty or in order to pick up a liquid but it doesn’t help one separate any better than if one did it with one’s hands. Some Sephardic authorities permit under all circumstances.<ref>Rabbi Moshe Feinstein in Sh”t Igrot Moshe O"C 1:126, Brit Olam (Borer #28), Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:45, and [[Shabbos]] Kitchen permit using utensils when they are used as because one can't touch it with one's hand (because of manners or the food is hot) but when it's used to aid in separation, the utensils are forbidden. However, Yalkut Yosef ([[Shabbat]] vol 3 pg 261) in name of [[Rabbi Ovadyah Yosef]], Menuchat Ahava (vol 2 7:7), and Sh"t Or Letzion (1:27 pg 68) permit it under all circumstances. Lastly, Rabbi Shlomo Amar in Sh"t Shema Shlomo 1:8 writes that it's preferable to be strict like the Igrot Moshe, however in cases of great need or if there's a doubt whether it's aiding the separation or it's for convenience, it's permissible. </ref>
#Some say that using a peeler is an issue of using a tool designated for Borer.<ref>39 Melachos (v. 2, p. 404) citing the Eglei Tal</ref>

[[Image:Coffee_filter.jpg|right|150px]]

===Coffee Filters and French Press===
{{Using a French Press or Filter on Shabbat and Yom Tov}}

==Clarification of the Third Condition: Immediate==

#It is only permitted to separate with intent to eat the food immediately, while it’s forbidden to separate with intent to eat the food after some time even within the same day.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 319:2 rules that separating food in one’s hand for later in the day is considered like separating to store the food and one violates Borer Deoritta. </ref>
#Separating before a meal for the time it takes to prepare the meal is considered separating for immediate use. For example if it takes half an hour to prepare for the meal one may separate only within a half hour of the meal.<ref>Mishna Brurah 319:45 says that the borer must be done right next to the meal. Even though the Ben Ish Chai (Beshalach 1) writes that within a half hour of the meal is considered immediately before the meal, Sh”t Igrot Moshe 4:74 (Borer #13) holds that one only has the time it takes to prepare the meal prior to the meal. Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:63, The 39 Melachos (Rabbi Ribiat, vol 3 pg 412), [[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 100), Yalkut Yosef ([[Shabbat]] vol 3 pg 265 486), and Menuchat Ahava (vol 2 7:6) also concur. See [https://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/797572/rabbi-hershel-schachter/shiur-7-shabbos-borer/ Rav Hershel Schachter (Shabbos #7 min 26)] who sounds like that the primary opinion would also permit from Friday night after the meal to Shabbat lunch.</ref> One may not separate and then take a few minute break before the meal.<ref>The 39 Melachos (Rabbi Ribiat, vol 3, pg 412). [https://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecture.cfm/905246/rabbi-mordechai-i-willig/morasha-kollel-iyun-zoreh-borer-u-meraked-10/ Rabbi Mordechai Willig (Morasha Kollel Borer #10, min 3-7)] cited and agreed the Ayil Meshulash p. 119 that one may not use a walk after doing borer preparations for the meal. One can do other meal preparations can be done after the borer before the meal. If one prepared for the meal so that it would be ready and immediately and then the meal was delayed because of a child or waiting for guests that is not a problem.</ref>
#Separating right before a meal is permissible even if one will only eat the food later in meal which may be after several hours. However, separating to eat food after the meal or in another meal is forbidden.<ref>Mishna Brurah 319:5 writes that separating with intent to eat the food after the meal or in another meal is forbidden. </ref>
#Some say that the time limit for separating food from other food has a longer time period that separating food from waste, however, Ashkenazim shouldn’t rely on this, and Sephardim shouldn’t rely on this unless there’s a great need.<ref>Rambam ([[Shabbat]] 8:13) writes that one violates Borer if one separates for later in the day such as separating in the morning with intent to eat in the evening. Bet Yosef (319:1-3; Bet Yosef is the author of S”A) explains that the Rambam holds that by separating two foods (one that’s wanted and one unwanted) one is permitted to separate even if one will eat it in the next 3-4 hours, whereas separating a food from a refuse is permitted to only immediately prior to a meal. [Yalkut Yosef ([[Shabbat]] vol 3 pg 278) quotes Rabbi Moshe Hershler’s notes to Ramban (note 158) who explains that by food and refuse, separating makes the food edible and that’s only permissible if one eats it immediately, however by two foods, separating is only forbidden as it sets aside two foods and that only is forbidden if it’s stored away for a long time.] Shulchan Aruch O.C. 319:1-3 uses the same language of the Rambam which implies that S”A holds of the distinction he made in the words of the Rambam. Machasit HaShekel 319:6 notes this. However, Beiur Halacha (319:3 s.v. SheBirer) quotes the Tosefet [[Shabbat]] and Maaseh Rokeach who argue on the distinction of the Bet Yosef and the language of the Rambam is just imprecise. This is also the opinion of the Mishna Brurah 319:16. However, Rama 319:1 rules that it is only permitted to separate right before a meal, seemingly making no difference whether it’s separating between food and refuse or between two foods. Machasit HaShekel 319:6 (in explanation of Rama) agrees. Yalkut Yosef ([[Shabbat]] vol 3 pg 278) brings two opinions on this issue and even though that in the footnote it sounds like it’s permissible because of a Sfek Safeka, he concludes by leaving it unresolved. </ref>
#If one separated in order to eat immediately and then changed his mind and decided not to eat, some say that he violated Borer, while others say it’s permissible after the fact, therefore one should avoid such a situation.<ref>Shaar HaTziyun 319:5 quotes the Pri Megadim who says that after the fact the food is permitted if one had in mind to eat it immediately even if one changes his mind afterwards. Yalkut Yosef ([[Shabbat]] vol 3 pg 272) brings this as a doubt and says that one should avoid such a situation. </ref>

==Alternative Ways to Permit Borer==

#One may throw all of the items of a mixture onto a table or on the ground so that they scatter. Once the items are separate identifiable units it is permitted to use each one separately without any prohibition of Borer.<ref>Based on [[Shabbat]] 74a, it seems that throwing a mixture out of the container so that the pieces separate so it’s not a mixture anymore would be permitted and allow one to put away each piece of the mixture separately. This is also the opinion of Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:3 (note 6 in name of Rav Shlomo Zalman), Sh”t Igrot Moshe 4:74 Borer #11</ref>
#Taking off a piece of food (wanted part) along with the non-wanted food is permitted.<ref>Mishna Brurah 319:61 and 62. Chazon Ish (53:16) disagrees. <br />
The Taz (319:13) writes that one cannot remove a fly from one’s soup because it would be considered Borer; however one can remove some soup with the fly. The Mishneh Brura (319:61) understood the Taz to mean that it’s not Borer when good was removed with the bad. However, the Chazon Ish 53:16 understood the Taz differently. He thought that only the soup surrounding the fly was considered mixed with the fly. Therefore the soup removed allowed the fly to be removed because the entire mixture was removed. It follows that removing a little good with the bad would be Asur. </ref>

==What Constitutes a Mixture?==

#A group of identical items isn't considered a mixture and may be separated without violating borer.<ref>Rama 319:3 rules that it's permissible to seperate peices of fish by the size since it's all one type of food. Mishna Brurah 319:15 writes that even though the Taz argues on the Rama, most achronim agree with the Rama. So write's the [[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 87-88) and Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:24 that there's no borer when separating indentical objects. </ref>
#However, if there’s a difference in the species, taste, function, or quality in the foods the group of items is considered a mixture.<ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen pg 90 </ref>
#The following are examples of groups that constitute a mixture being that the items are different in some of the above respects:
##cooked and baked apples have different tastes <ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen pg 90 </ref>
##boiled and roasted chicken have different tastes <ref>Mishna Brurah 319:15 </ref>
##soup spoon and teaspoon have different functions <ref>Ayil Meshulash pg 16, [[Shabbos]] Kitchen pg 90 </ref>
##kitchen and table knife have different functions <ref>Ayil Meshulash pg 16, [[Shabbos]] Kitchen pg 90 </ref>
##large and small plates have different functions <ref>Ayil Meshulash pg 16, [[Shabbos]] Kitchen pg 90 </ref>
##spoons and forks have different functions <ref>Ayil Meshulash pg 16, [[Shabbos]] Kitchen pg 90 </ref>
##[[matzah]] meal and [[matzah]] chunks have different functions <ref>Pri Megadim M”Z 319:2, [[Shabbos]] Kitchen pg 90 </ref>
###It’s permissible to take full [[matzah]] boards from a box which has broken pieces in order to have two full boards for Lechem Mishna even if one does this by taking out one board at a time and putting back the broken boards.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:28 </ref>
###However, one may not take all the broken pieces out of a stack of [[matzah]]’s with whole and broken boards of [[matzah]] unless one plans on using all the [[matzah]] (broken and whole) for that meal.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:28 </ref>
#Something as having a different qualities if the undesired one is eaten only out of necessity: <ref>Mishna Brurah 319:7, [[Shabbos]] Kitchen pg 90 </ref>
##fresh and spoiled grapes have different qualities <ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 91) </ref>
##cooked and burnt meats have different qualities <ref>Mishna Brurah 319:15 </ref>
#If only part of the fruit is spoiled one may remove that fruit from a mixture of good fruits. However, an altogether rotten fruit may not be removed from a mixture of good fruits. <ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:25 </ref>
#In a group of items of different sizes or colors, the difference in size or color doesn’t make it a mixture unless it changes it’s function.<ref>Rama 319:3, [[Shabbos]] Kitchen pg 90, Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:24,7 </ref>
#One may take items from a mixture of two different types but should be careful not to separate the different types by size. For example, one shouldn't assort a basket of apples and pears by separating by size.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:26 </ref>
#One may separate different items some of which are more aesthetically pleasing from others which are less aesthetically pleasing as long as both objects are equally usable.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:28 </ref>

==What Type of Arrangement is Considered a Mixture?==

#There's three possible arrangement of mixtures. 1) A mixture can consist of disparate objects that are near each other. 2) A mixture is formed when there's items attached to one another. 3) Items on top of one another also form a mixture.<ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 91-95). 39 Melachos (vol 2, pg 388) writes that items which are mingled, attached, or absorbed one into the other can form a mixture. </ref>
#However, if the items are readily distinguishable because of a clear and striking difference of consistency or structure are not considered a mixture. For example, meatballs in sauce is not a mixture.<ref>39 Melachos (vol 2, pg 391) </ref>

===Items That are Close===

#A group of objects are considered a mixture if the individual items lose their identity as individuals and the items are seen as a group and not individuals. This includes examples such as
##beans, barley, potato, and meat in a chulent,
##mixed nuts in a bowl,
##spliced fruit in a bowl
##pile of utensils
##platter of different types of deli
##platter of different types of cakes <ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 92-3) </ref>
#The greater amount of objects in a concentrated area makes the items form a mixture. The larger the objects the more items that are needed in order for the items to lose their identity.<ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 92) </ref>
#If the group of objects is possibly a mixture and it's unclear we’re strict to consider it a mixture not to do borer.<ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen pg 91 writes that we are very strict by borer since it's possible to violate borer on a deoraitta level by lacking just one the three requirements. </ref>
#A totally rotten fruit among good fruits constitutes a mixture and so one may not remove a good fruit if one doesn’t intend to eat it immediately. However, one may remove a fruit that’s surrounding the fruit that’s adjacent to the rotten fruit.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:25 </ref>

===Attached Items===

#Items that are attached are considered a mixture. This includes the following examples:
##fat attached to meat
##peels on fruits
##shells on nuts or eggs
##a damaged part of a fruit to the fruit <ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 93) </ref>
##the pit of the fruit to the flesh of the fruit <ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 112) </ref>
#It's permissible to separate the items that are attached except at the junction of their connection (as opposed to close items where even the outer items may not be separated). For example, it's permissible to cut away fat on meat if one leaves a sliver of the fat attached to the meat.<ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 107) </ref>

===Stacked Items===

#If items are piled on top of one another, they are considered a mixture even if each item is individually recognizable.<ref>Mishna Brurah 319:15 (at the end), [[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 94-5) </ref> This includes the following examples:
##different type of plates (or sizes) in a stack
##towels or clothes in a pile <ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 95) </ref>
#It's permissible to remove unwanted top items in order to reach a wanted item on bottom of the mixture.<ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 107-8), Mishna Brurah 319:15 </ref>

==Separating Non-Food Items==

#It’s forbidden to separate a mixture of non-food items such as clothing or vessels.<ref>Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 80:17, Mishna Brurah 319:15, Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:1, [[Shabbos]] Kitchen pg 86, 39 Melachos (vol 2, pg 382), and Yalkut Yosef ([[Shabbat]] vol 3 pg 327). See the Aruch HaShulchan 319:7 who is lenient. </ref> According to Sephardim some say that one may be lenient.<ref>[http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=365 Rabbi Mansour] on Dailyhalacha.com writes that it's permissible for Sephardim to sort silverware on [[Shabbat]]. Yalkut Yosef ([[Shabbat]], vol 3, pg 330 and 490) and Sh"t Yabia Omer 5:31 are lenient in certain cases.</ref>
#One may not select clothes from the cabinet except right before using them, however, it’d be forbidden to take them out of the closet at night for the next morning.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:68. See, however, 39 Melachos (vol 2, pg 388) who writes that clothes in a closet is not considered a mixture. </ref>
#One shouldn’t remove a book from a bookcase except right before one plans on reading it. It’s permissible to remove the book, read a little in it immediately and leave it for later.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:69 </ref>
#A selection may be made prior to immediate use only if the immediate use is the primary purpose of that object. For example, one may not sort different mixed foods before storing them in the refrigerator as storing food is the primary use of food. Similarly, one may not remove the shell of an egg before continuing in the process of making egg salad if one doesn’t intend to eat the egg salad immediately after it’s made.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:71-3 </ref>
#One may not remove a drink bottle from a refrigerator where the bottles are jumbled together except for immediate use of drinking (or taking it out to lose its chill and then drink).<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:74 </ref>
#Ideally, one should eat all the food that was separated in preparation for the meal, however, if there are leftovers of food that was separated for the meal or one changed one’s mind not to eat, the food may be eaten later on [[Shabbat]].<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:75 </ref>
#One may not organize a stack of papers in an order unless one intends on reading them immediately.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:84 </ref>
===Toys and Games===
#One is forbidden from sorting a jumbled assortment of toys.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:90, Yaladim Khalacha p. 81 citing Menuchat Ahava v. 1 p. 240</ref>
#If a toy has many different pieces, with different shapes and colors and one doesn't care how they are arranged, one can put them all back into its container. However, if one wants to have the pieces with different colors separate (such as red checkers and black checkers) one may not separate them on Shabbat after playing with them to clean up. It would still be permitted before playing since it is being separated for immediate use.<ref>Shabbat Kehalacha (Farkash 22:120)</ref>
===Silverware===
# It is forbidden to take a pile of forks and knives and separate them to set the table unless one is doing so immediately before the meal. If the forks and knives are already found in separate sections of a drawer they may be taken separately to set the table and there's no separation involved. <ref>Shemirat Shabbat Kehilchata 3:86</ref>
#It’s forbidden to sort a mixed group of cutlery to put them into separate compartments. Similarly, it’s forbidden to pick out items of a certain variety, dry them and then place them back in their compartment. Sephardim may have room to be lenient.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:86. See Chazon Ovadia (Shabbat Vol. 4, pg 204) where he is more lenient in this regard.</ref>
#However, it is permitted to take one cutlery at a time, dry it and then place it in its compartment.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:86 </ref>
#Certainly, it’s permissible to sort cutlery even from a mixture so that one can set the table for the meal that’s going to start immediately after sorting the cutlery.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:79 </ref>
#Cutlery of different kind (knife, spoon, fork) and of different functions (cutlery for dairy and cutlery for meat, a serving spoon and a regular spoon) constitute a mixture.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:78, 80 </ref>
# One solution to separate a pile of silverware in a permitted fashion is to throw the pile of silverware on an empty table or counter and they separate on their own. Then once they are sufficiently far apart from one another then one can take the silverware one needs one at a time.<Ref>Igrot Moshe 4:74:11. See Shemirat Shabbat Kehilchata ch. 3 fnt. 6 and Haarot of Rav Elyashiv (Shabbat 74a) who endorse this idea.</ref>

===Separating Cards===
#Separating cards as part of a game, such as where one removes an undesired card, is a question of borer.<ref>Rav Asher Weiss Shabbat p. 327 writes several reasons why it could be allowed to separate cards in order to play cards but concludes that one shouldn't rely on them since they not brought in the earlier poskim. His reasons are perhaps one uses all of the cards equally, so it is considered one type (Rama 319:3). Also, the purpose of the separating isn't to accomplish anything since it is purely a game. Lastly, the cards aren't a food and some say that there isn't borer on non-foods (see Maharshag 1:54, 57).</ref> Some permit it.<ref>Avnei Yishpeh 8:74 based on Rama 319:3 since all of the cards are considered like one type of item.</ref>

===Putting Books Back on the Shelf===
#It’s permissible and preferable that each person who prays to return their Siddur so that it doesn’t cause those who have to clean up to be involved in separating.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata (chapter 3 note 239) </ref>
#If one has a stack of sefarim on Shabbat one may not sort them and return them to the shelf. One is permitted to take one book at a time and return it to the shelf if one isn’t particular about which book one takes. However, one should not make a pile of books and put back the books even if one does it one by one. Lastly, it’s permitted to make a pile of books if one doesn’t return them to the shelf.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata (in the old 3:81, in the new 3:88) and Or Letzion (vol 2 chap 31:4) writes that one may take a single book and return it to the shelf since one has no concern about which book he picks up. The Or Letzion adds that it’s permitted to make a pile of books if one doesn’t return them to the shelf, however, if one made a pile and now separates it one by one it’s forbidden because one is taking something wanted from others that are not wanted temporarily. Sh”t Yabia Omer 5:31 permits returning the books to the shelf in any fashion. Rav Soloveitchik (Divrei Harav p. 169) held that there's no borer with separating a pile of Sefarim. 39 Melachos (vol 2, pg 391) writes that two sefarim piled one on the other is not a mixture.</ref>
#One may not sort different books in a pile to put them back on the shelf, however, if one wishes to clear the table, one may pick up each book one at a time and place it on the shelf in it’s appropriate shelf.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:81 </ref>

===Taking Holy Items out of the Garbage===

#If one finds a paper with Torah written on it in the garbage, one may remove the papers and read them a little right away. However, if one finds [[Tefillin]] or [[Tefillin]] straps in a garbage, one may remove them.<ref>Or Letzion (vol 2 chap 31:2) writes that one is permitted to remove papers that have [[kedusha]] from a garbage if one uses it right away since that is considered removing good from bad with one’s hand for immediate use. However, if one finds [[Tefillin]] and it’s impossible to use the [[Tefillin]] on [[Shabbat]], one is still permitted because one is considered as having separated for an immediate purpose of giving respect to the [[Tefillin]]. Yalkut Yosef ([[Shabbat]] vol 3 pg 333) writes that one doesn’t have to read from the pages. </ref>

==Borer by Mistake==

#If one took an object from a mixture with intent to eat it and it turns out to be undesirable one didn’t violate Borer. For example, if one takes a fruit from a mixture with intent to eat it and it turns out that it’s rotten one didn’t do Borer.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:5 </ref>

==Natural Borer==

#It’s permitted to cause a mixture to separate naturally if the borer would have occurred naturally anyway without your interference. For example, it’s permitted to turn a bottle upright even though it’ll cause the sediment to fall to the bottom since that would have occurred anyway.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:6 </ref>

==Practical Examples==
===Fish or Meat Bones===

#When preparing or eating fish or meat one must be careful not to separate the bones from the meat. One should eat the fish and spit out or remove the bones from one’s mouth after one separated the bones from the meat. If that’s not practical or convenient, one should hold the bone and eat the meat, hold the bone (with one’s knife or hand) and cut away the meat, or to remove each bone and suck it. If none of those are possible, one should remove the bones with a bit of meat attached.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:11,12. See [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=817 Rabbi Mansour] on Dailyhalacha.com who is lenient like the Menuchat Ahava. </ref>
#Some have the practice to remove the bones from fish or meat in the normal way, and they have what to rely on, however it may only be done in the course of eating.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:13 </ref>
#One shouldn’t remove bare bones from one’s plate when there’s other foods right next to it, rather they should be left as is on the plate.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:14 </ref>

===Chicken Skin===
It is permissible to remove chicken skin from chicken on [[Shabbat]] right before eating.<ref>Rama 321:19 writes that one may only peel an onion right before eating it. Magen Avraham 321:30 writes that the same is true of peeling an apple because it is a form of Borer. Pri Megadim A”A 321:30 asks that peeling apples shouldn’t be considered Borer because most people eat the peel. Therefore, Rav Ovadyah in Chazon Ovadyah (vol 4, pg 195) and Yalkut Yosef ([[Shabbat]] vol 3 pg 304) rules like the Magen Avraham and only permits removing chicken skin right before eating. Ayil Meshulash (6:17) quoting Rav Elyashiv, Sh"t Bear Moshe 6:47 and Sh"t Az Nidbaru 7:16(1) agree.

*Igrot Moshe 4:74 (Borer #8) writes that the halacha follows the Magen Avraham and not the Pri Megadim, however, chicken skin is a part of the chicken completely and removing it is like cutting a piece of chicken which is permitted even not immediately prior to eating unlike apple peels. Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 5:267 agrees. Orchot [[Shabbat]] (vol 1, 3:93, pg 166) writes that Rav Moshe was writing in a place where everyone would eat chicken skin, however, in [[Israel]] it may only be removed right before the meal like fruit peels. The English translation of Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:30 adds that whether chicken skin is usually eaten depends on each locality. However, Chut Shani (vol 2, pg 81) writes it’s possible to say since it’s totally food and it’s only because we’re spoiled we don’t eat it, it shouldn’t be considered waste, nonetheless, he concludes that one should remove it before the meal.
*However, Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:30 (in new editions 3:34) writes that the Magen Avraham held most people don’t eat apple peels but fundamentally he agrees with the Pri Megadim; thus, he rules, since most people eat chicken skin one may remove it even not right before the meal. However, he adds that some are strict based on the Magen Avraham. See further Menuchat Ahava (vol 2 7:13) and [[Shabbos]] Kitchen (pg 114).
*Aruch HaShulchan 321:26 writes that it should only be removed right before eating because of Mafshit. 39 Melachos (vol 2, pg 431) writes that preferably one should be strict for this opinion.
*see also Ayil Meshullash 6: note 55 quoting Rav Elyashiv and Az Nidberu 7:16</ref>
However, grilled chicken skin may be removed even not before eating.<ref>Orchot [[Shabbat]] (chap 3 note 106) writes that everyone eats grilled chicken skin and can be removed even not right before eating. Korei Oneg (vol 3, pg 55) agrees. Ayil Meshulash (pg 66 note 55) writes that grilled chicken skin is considered part of the food. Therefore, even someone who doesn't eat it may remove the skin.</ref>

===Watermelon===

#Regarding watermelon seeds, according to Ashkenazim one should eat the melon and spit out the seeds. If that’s difficult, one may shake off the seeds right before eating and those that remain remove with one’s hand right before eating. According to Sephardim, one may shake off the seeds and those that don’t come off may be removed.<ref>Kaf HaChaim 319:47 writes that one doesn’t have to eat the whole melon and spit out the seeds because that’s not considered the normal way of eating; rather one should shake off the seeds and those that don’t fall off remove with one’s hand but it’s preferable to do it with a shinui. Chazon Ovadyah (vol 4, pg 195) agrees.

*Sh”t Igrot Moshe 4:74 (Borer #7) writes that one should eat the whole melon and spit out the seeds and if that’s difficult one should shake off the seeds and those that remain remove with one’s hand. Halachos of [[Shabbat]] (vol 3, pg 174), 39 Melachos (vol 2, pg 411), and Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:16 agree. Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:16 adds that those who do remove watermelon seeds right before eating watermelon have what to rely on.</ref>

===Fruit Pits===

#One may remove a pit from a fruit whether the pit doesn’t come away from the fruit without taking away part of the fruit. For example, plums and peaches have pits that may be removed since when you remove the pit the flesh of the fruit comes with it.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:17 </ref>
#However, one may not take the pit of a fruit if the pit will come clean without any of the flesh of the fruit, rather one should open the fruit and have the pit drop out, or take the fruit off the pit (and not the reverse). Some permit the removal of the pit even from such fruits if it’s done right before eating.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:17 </ref>

===Benchers===

#Taking a particular bencher from a pile is considered Borer unless it fulfills the requirements of taking the food from refuse for immediate use with one’s hand.<ref>[[Shabbos]] Kitchen pg 87 </ref>

===Filtering Tap Water on Shabbat===

#If the tap water is drinkable without filtering it is permissible to filter it on [[Shabbat]].<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 319:10, Mishna Brurah 319:34, Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:56 (in new editions 3:60), Chazon Ish 53 s.v. VeIm, 39 Melachos (Rabbi Ribiat, vol 3 pg 520) </ref> Those who hold that one should not drink New York tap water because of copepods, according to many poskim, may nonetheless filter the water on [[Shabbat]] with a sink filter that is built in.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:60 writes that if people don’t drink the water in a certain place because of bugs one shouldn’t use a filter, however, one may drink directly from the faucet without a cup.

*However, Rav Hershel Schachter on “Kashrus of Bugs” on OU Kosher Tidbits (www.ouradio.org, min 39-45) permits using a filter for NY tap water on [[Shabbat]] based on 4 reasons: (1) The bugs might be considered kosher (see S”A YD 84:16) (2) The amount of bugs in the water varies at different times of the day and may not require checking (See RJJ vol 49, pg 34, by David Shabtai) (3) The bugs aren’t necessarily waste since non-Jews eat it and it’s only halacha that prevents us (Chaye Adam in Nishmat Adam 16:5) (4) The sink filter is built in and automatically filters all the water even that which is for non-drinking purposes (Minchat Yitzchak 7:23; this would not apply to a filtered pitcher used for drinking). Rav Doniel Nuestadt (Yeshurun vol 17, pg 535) discusses the last two reasons at length and argues that the third reason is a dispute in the rishonim. See Rav Belsky in Shulchan HaLevi 12 who writes that he holds the NY tap water is kosher, however, one who holds it needs filtering may not filter it on [[Shabbat]] and disagrees with the third argument.</ref>

===Cluster of Grapes===

#If there are rotten grapes among good grapes, one should eat the good grapes and leave the rotten ones and not remove the rotten ones to make the cluster presentable for guests.<ref>Chazon Ovadyah (vol 4, pg 179) arguing on Menuchat Ahava (vol 2, 231) </ref>

===Other Examples===

#One must check lettuce to make sure that there’s no bugs on it. On [[Shabbat]], one may remove a large insect such as a caterpillar, however it’s preferable to take it off with a piece of lettuce. However, a small insect may not be removed unless one takes a piece of the lettuce with it.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:36 </ref>
#One should use a spoon to remove a teabag from a cup of tea, so that the drips of tea absorbed in the teabag aren't separated from the teabag.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:58. The 39 Melachos (Rabbi Ribiat, vol 2 pg 519) places this halacha under the melacha of [[Merakaid]]. </ref>
#If a tea kettle has a mixture of tea and tea leaves and at the spout of the kettle there is a mesh wiring that separate out the leaves, one may pour from the kettle as long as the tea leaves have settled to the bottom of the pot and aren't being separated from the liquid going through the spout. However, once the flow comes to a trickle one shouldn't pour from the kettle because in doing so one would be separating the tea from the tea leaves using a strainer.<ref>39 Melachos (vol 2, pg 519) </ref>
#One may not remove peas from the pod as this violates the melacha of [[Threshing|threshing]] ([[Dosh]]) unless the pod is also edible.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:32 </ref>
#One may remove a grape from the bunch (or bananas from a bunch) as long as it’s done right before eating and the bunch is cut from the vine. Some are stringent regarding removing dates from the bunch.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:42 </ref>
#In a fruit bowl, one may remove a grape sitting on top of a plum in order to eat the plum, however if the top grape is rotten, it’s forbidden to remove it, rather one may spill out the whole bowl and pick out the plum.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:41 </ref>
#One may not strain fruit juice from pulp (the fruit’s flesh) if either most people in the world are particular to have juice strained or the particular person straining it is particular.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 3:53 </ref>
==Washing Fruit==
#Fruit which has dirt or pesticides on it can be rinsed off under a running water on Shabbat and it isn't considered separating the fruit from the dirt. However, if the fruit is actually mixed with dirt or something undesirable it is forbidden to clean them under a stream of water.<ref>Shemirat Shabbat Kehilchata 3:22, Igrot Moshe OC 1:125</ref>
#One may wash off grapes if one is only doing so for cleanliness, however, one may not do so if one's intention is to remove some unwanted substance it is forbidden.<ref>Sh"t Shevet HaLevi 1:52(2)</ref>

==Related Pages==
[http://halachipedia.com/documents/5772/11.pdf Halachipedia Article on Practical Cases of Borer]

==Links==

*[http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/717331/Rabbi_Shalom_Rosner/The_Shabbos_Kitchen:_Borer The Shabbos Kitchen: Borer] by Rabbi Shalom Rosner
*[http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/810001/Rabbi_Zvi_Sobolofsky/Borer Borer] by Rabbi Zvi Sobolofsky

==Sources==
{{Reflist|2}}
[[Category:Shabbat]]
<references />
{{Shabbat Table}}

Three Weeks

2023-11-22T19:42:13Z

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[[Image:Destruction_temple.jpg|200px|right]]
The Three Weeks is a period of [[mourning]] from the fast of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] until [[Tisha BeAv]], when the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem were destroyed. During this time, Jews observe a number of practices, such as refraining from getting married, listening to music, cutting their hair, and wearing new clothes. The [[Nine Days]], which begin on [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av, are a more stringent period of mourning, during which additional practices are observed.

==When does the Three Weeks begin?==
#The Ashkenazic minhag is to begin [[mourning]] from [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]].<ref>Rama O.C. 551:2 and 4</ref>
#Many authorities hold that the practices of [[mourning]] begin from the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] (before the actual fast begins).<ref>
*The Chida in Sh"t Chaim Sha’al 1:24 writes that one may not make [[shehechiyanu]] the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. Kaf Hachaim 551:207 agrees. Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 maintains that the one may not make a wedding the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] and bases it on the ruling of the Chida not to say [[shehechiyanu]] from the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. He add that according to some achronim the night of the 17th of tammuz is as strict as the [[Nine Days]]. In regards to weddings the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]], Eshel Avraham Mebutchatch OC 551, Nitei Gavriel (Bein HaMetzarim, vol 1, 14:5), Halichot Shlomo (Moadim vol 2, 18:5), and Rabbi Soloveitchik (cited by Rabbi Hershel Schachter in Nefesh Harav page 196) agree. Orchot Rabbeinu (vol 2, pg 127) quotes the Steipler about not taking a haircut the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. See also Rav Elyashiv (cited by Doleh UMashkeh pg 207-208), Divrei Moshe 1:33, [[Shevet Halevi]] 8:168:7 and 10:81:2, Moadim Uzmanim 8:338, and Moadei Yeshurun (pg 128) who agree with this approach.</ref> However, some allow in cases of great need to consider the Three Weeks as starting from the day of Shiva Asar BeTamuz.<ref>
*However, Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:168, 3:100 (at the end), and 4:112(2) permits in cases of great need (such as performing a wedding on Motzei [[Shabbat]] the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]). Igrot Moshe 3:100 adds that since saying [[shehechiyanu]] is a dispute there's no need to be strict not to say it the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. Igrot Moshe 4:112(2) writes for great need one can be lenient to cut one's hair the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha 122:1 agrees. Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 writes that later Rav Moshe was asked about performing a wedding the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] and he advised doing the Chupah before [[Shekiyah]]. Rav Elyashiv (cited by Doleh U’mashke pg 208 note 557) says that in a pressing situation once can be lenient.</ref>
#If [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] falls out on [[Shabbat]] and is pushed off to Sunday, then everyone agrees that the practices of [[mourning]] apply the night of the fast (Motzei Shabbat) as some of them apply already on Shabbat.<ref>Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:168, and 3:100 </ref>

==Eating a New Fruit or Buying New Clothing==
===Shehechiyanu===
# One should refrain from making a [[shehechiyanu]] during the Ben Hamitzarim.<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:17 based on Maharil 31 writes that one should refrain from saying [[shehechiyanu]] during Ben HaMeysarim. The Magen Avraham 551:42 explains that the reason not to make [[shehechiyanu]] is because the Three Weeks is a time of tragedy for Klal Yisrael and it’s improper to have extra joy. However, the Gra s.v. VeNohagin understands the practice as based on [[Aveilut]] and therefore argues that this is only an extra chumra and one is allowed to make [[shehechiyanu]] (just like a mourner can make a [[shehechiyanu]] as in [[Brachot]] 59b). The Taz 551:17 agrees to be lenient based on the concern that perhaps if you don’t make the Bracha now you may not be able after the Ben HaMeysarim. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one shouldn’t be lenient except on [[Shabbat]]. Yalkut Yosef 551:12 rules like Shulchan Aruch that one should refrain from making [[shehechiyanu]] during the Three Weeks. </ref>
#One shouldn’t make a [[shehechiyanu]] on the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. However, if there is a great need, there’s what to rely on.<ref>Sh”t Sh”t Chaim Shal 1:24, Kaf HaChaim 551:207, Sdei Chemed 5:page 277, Beiur Halacha 551:2 and Ikrei HaDaat O”C 27:9 write that one shouldn’t say [[shehechiyanu]] on the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. However, Nechamat Yisrael (pg 40) permits in case of great need based on Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 1:168 (so is explicit in Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 3:100) and Mishnat Yacov (pg 168) permits [[shehechiyanu]] at night even without any need. </ref>

===Wearing New Clothing or Eating New Fruit===
#During the Three Weeks, one should not wear any new clothes or eat a new fruit which would obligate one to make a [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:17 writes that it is good not to make a [[shehechiyanu]] on a new fruit or new clothing during the Three Weeks.
*The Sh"t Maharil 15 writes that one shouldn't make a [[shehechiyanu]] on a new fruit or new clothing during the Three Weeks. Shulchan Aruch 551:17 codifies this as halacha saying that it is good not to say [[shehechiyanu]] during the Three Weeks.
* Bach 551 (at the end) agrees and writes should avoid getting into situations that would obligate reciting shehechiyanu; that is, eating a new fruit, buying or wearing new clothing. Kaf HaChaim 551:210 agrees. Also, Mishna Brurah 551:99 writes that one shouldn't eat new fruit or wear new clothing. The Bear Mayim Chaim 7 disagrees with Bach and writes that the only issue is not to make the bracha of [[shehechiyanu]], however, one may eat a new fruit and just not make [[shehechiyanu]]. The Maamar Mordechai 551:14 rejects this idea and doesn't allow eating the new fruit. The Mishna Brurah 551:99, Kaf HaChaim 551:207, and Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot p. 129) agree with the Maamar Mordechai.
* Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:6 rules that it is forbidden to wear new clothes during the week in which [[Tisha BeAv]] falls out and the Rama adds that the Ashkenazic minhag is to be strict on this starting from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av (during the entire [[Nine Days]]). The Magen Avraham 551:21 is bothered why there is another prohibition to wear new clothes (Shulchan Aruch 551:6) if one can't wear new clothes anyway because of avoiding making [[shehechiyanu]] during the entire Three Weeks (Shulchan Aruch 551:17). See there where he gives 2 answers. The Kaf HaChaim 551:88 answers that avoiding [[shehechiyanu]] is only considered preferable by Shulchan Aruch 551:17, while not wearing new clothes during the week during which [[Tisha BeAv]] falls out is an actual prohibition.</ref>
#Because one shouldn’t make a [[shehechiyanu]], one shouldn’t eat a new fruit or wear a new clothing because these actions require a [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Sh”t Chaim Sheol O”C 7 and Ketonet Yosef 11 (quoted in Kaf HaChaim 551:207) writes that even though one can’t make a [[shehechiyanu]] during the 3 weeks, one can eat a new fruit or wear new clothes without a Bracha. However, the Sefer Chasidim 840, Shaarei Knesset HaGedolah 551:52, Bach 551, Maamer Mordechai 551:14, Yometz Ometz 56, Bear Heitev 551:20, and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 write that one is not allowed to have a new fruit during the Three Weeks without a Bracha, since having a new fruit requires a Bracha and it can’t be made during the Three Weeks. Birkei Yosef 551:12, Shaare Teshuva 551:38, and Kaf Hachayim 551:215 hold that a [[shehechiyanu]] may be recited if by mistake he already made the borei pri haetz over a new fruit. </ref> A new fruit that will not be available after the Three Weeks may be eaten and a [[shehechiyanu]] recited.<ref>Rama OC 551:17 </ref>
#During the [[Nine Days]] one should not buy new clothing.<ref>Rama 551:7 writes that buying new clothing is forbidden during the [[Nine Days]] just like fixing new clothing.</ref> See [[Nine_Days#Buying_or_Wearing_New_Clothing]] for details.
# However, a pregnant woman or a sick person is permitted to eat new fruit.<ref>Mishna Brurah 551:99, Yalkut Yosef 551:13 </ref>

===Buying New Clothing===
#Since nowadays we don’t make a [[shehechiyanu]] on buying new clothes but only for wearing new clothes, some permit buying new clothes and some forbid.<ref>Halichot Shlomo p. 411 brings from the Talmidim of Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach that it’s permissible to buy new clothes since nowadays we don’t make a Bracha on buying clothes. This is the ruling of Mishna Brurah 551:45 and Kaf Hachayim 551:88, see Nechamet Yisrael pg 40 </ref>
#If one doesn't have non-leather shoes for [[Tisha BeAv]] and one forgot to buy, one may buy them in the [[Nine Days]].<ref>Sh"t Halachot Ketanot 1:139, Zeh HaShulchan (vol 2, Siman 551), Iggerot Moshe OC 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 </ref>

===Fixing Old Clothing===
#Knitting and needlecraft is prohibited during the [[Nine Days]].<ref>Rav Shimon Eider Halachos of the Three Weeks page 11. </ref> Repairing a torn garment is permitted <ref>Iggerot Moshe, OC 3:79. </ref>

===On Shabbat===
# On [[Shabbat]] many poskim are lenient to allow one to recite [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Sefer Chasidim 840, Mateh Moshe 697, Yosef Ometz 861, Magen Avraham 551:21,42, Chaye Adam 133:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2, and Sh"t Yechave Daat 1:37 permit making [[shehechiyanu]] on [[Shabbat]]. However, the Magen Avraham 551:42 quotes the Kitvei HaArizal who is machmir even on [[Shabbat]]. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one can be lenient regarding making [[shehechiyanu]] on [[Shabbat]] since there’s some are lenient on [[shechiyanu]] during all of the Three Weeks and there’s some who specifically permit [[Shabbat]]. </ref>
#On [[Shabbat]] Chazon one shouldn’t wear new clothes that would require [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Eliyah Rabba 551:17 in name of Madenei [[Yom Tov]] that one should not wear new clothes even on [[Shabbat]] during the Three Weeks because wearing new clothes has a special aspect of happiness (which is greater than eating a new fruit). This is also the opinion of the Derech HaChaim 551:6 and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 not to wear new clothes all Three Weeks including [[Shabbat]]. However, Chaye Adam 133:14 and Aruch HaShulchan 551:38 writes that one can make [[shehechiyanu]] before [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av, but afterwards one shouldn’t make [[shehechiyanu]] even on [[Shabbat]]. Additionally, Mishna Brurah 551:45 writes that even those who are lenient to make [[shehechiyanu]] on [[Shabbat]] during the Three Weeks will agree to be strict on [[Shabbat]] Chazon not to wear new clothes (which has a special element of happiness that a new fruit doesn’t have). Sh”t Yechave Daat 1:37 and Torat HaMoadim 5:7 concurs to the opinion of Mishna Brurah. </ref> There is also a minhag not to wear new clothing that don't require a [[shehechiyanu]] specifically during the Nine Days.<ref>Rama 551:7, Mishna Brurah 551:9</ref> See further on the [[Nine Days#Buying Clothing|Nine Days]] page.
===Bracha for a Baby===
#A person should recite a [[shehechiyanu]] upon the birth of a baby boy or girl during the Three Weeks because that Bracha can't wait until after the Three Weeks.<ref>Nitei Gavriel 17:19, Avnei Yishpeh 5:80 based on Maharil 31 who says the restriction of saying [[shehechiyanu]] is only on a beracha that can wait until after. </ref> Similarly, at a [[Pidyon HaBen]] one should make a [[shehechiyanu]] even during the Three Weeks.<ref>Nitei Gavriel 17:20 </ref>
===Pidyon Haben===
#A [[shehechiyanu]] should be recited for the [[Pidyon Haben]] even during the Three Weeks.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 551:17, Moed Likol Chai 9:25 </ref>

===Hatov Vihametiv===
#One may say the Bracha of [[HaTov VeHaMeitiv]] during the Three Weeks.<ref>Nitei Gavriel 17:22, Shaare [[Teshuvah]] 551:10, Moed Likol Chai 9:24, Machazik Beracha 551:10, Rav Chaim Kanievsky quoted in Nechamas Yisroel page 45:footnote 14, Rivevot Ephraim 4:135:2, 7:58, 234, Avnei Yushfe 5:81 quoting Rav Wosner, Or Letzion 3:25:4 </ref>

===Sales===
#If there is a sale and one will be unable to purchase the same clothing after [[Tisha BeAv]] at the sale price, one may buy the item during the [[Nine days]], but may not wear the clothing until after [[Tisha BeAv]].<ref>Rabbi Moshe Feinstein quoted in Mesoras Moshe volume 2 O"C 262, Ohr Letzion volume 3 26:2 end of note 2.</ref>

===Tzitzit and Tefillin===
#If one doesn't have [[Tefillin]] or one has the opportunity to buy nicer [[Tefillin]] it's permissible to buy them even after [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av.<ref>Zeh HaShulchan (vol 1, Siman 551), Iggerot Moshe OC 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 </ref>
#One should refrain from buying [[Tzitzit]] or a [[Tallit]] during the Three Weeks.<ref>Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein writes that one should refrain from buying [[Tzitzis]] or a Talis. Similarly, Or LeArba Asar (pg 81) writes that one should buy and wear it (and make [[shehechiyanu]]) before the Three Weeks, however, after the fact if one didn't and one doesn't have as nice a pair one is permitted to wear it. Sh"t Birkat Reuven Shlomo 9:31 agrees. She'elat Yaavetz 82 says that if your [[tzitzit]] become pasul and you don't have another, you may wear or even purchase a new one to fulfill the mitzva. </ref>
#One should not purchase a new talit gadol as this would require making a shehechiyanu. However, one can purchase a new tallit katan since shehechiyanu is not recited on those.<ref>Iggerot Moshe 3:80</ref> One may also purchase a tallit gadol if it doesn't have strings up until Rosh Chodesh Av.<ref>Moadei Yeshurun pg. 129:13b and pg. 152:34 in the name of Rav Moshe</ref>

===Cars===
#One should refrain from buying a car during the Three Weeks unless one is buying it primarily for business purposes.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein in Igrot Moshe 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375</ref>
#Also, if one's entire family will use it and benefit from it, then one may buy it until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av and make a bracha of HaTov VeHaMetiev instead of [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Sh"t Igrot Moshe 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375, Nitay Gavriel Page 51 </ref>

===Furniture and Appliances===
#Some poskim permit buying a closet or cabinet during the [[Nine Days]], while others forbid it.<ref>Torat Hamoadim 5:16 says that buying closets or cabinets doesn't make one joyful and is therefore permitted but Iggerot Moshe 3:82 says a bookshelf does make people happy and is not allowed to be bought. </ref>
#Some poskim permit buying any necessary appliance, such as a refrigerator, washing machine, or bed, to replace one that broke during the Three Weeks.<ref>Piskei Teshuvot 551:11 </ref>

==Weddings==

#The Ashkenazic custom is not to get married during the Three Weeks.<ref>Rama 551:2 and Darchei Moshe 551:5 based on the Sefer Haminhagim, Chayei Adam 133:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:1, Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMetsarim (Rabbi Moshe Karp) 3:1, Nitei Gavriel Bein Hametzarim vol. 1, 14:8. On the night of Shiva Asar Bitammuz itself, Rav Moshe Feinstein (OC 168) is lenient, while Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 is strict. </ref> Among Sephardim, some have just the custom not to get married during the [[Nine Days]] (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av until [[Tisha BeAv]]) <ref>Shulchan Aruch 551:2, based on gemara Yevamot 43b, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 140), Sh"t Yabia Omer OC 6:43, Sh"t Yechave Daat 1:36, Sh"t Or Litzion 3:25:1 </ref> and some have the custom not to get married the entire Three Weeks.<ref>Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim Halacha 4 based on the Shyarei Knesset Hagedola, Sdei Chemed 6 Marechet Bein Hametzarim 1:10, [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=946 Rabbi Mansour on DailyHalacha.com] says that this is the Syrian minhag. </ref>
#Some say that it is permitted for an Ashkenazi to attend a sefardi wedding before [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av, and they may even dance at the wedding.<ref>Nitei Gavriel Bein Hametzarim vol. 1, 14:10, Teshuvot Vihanhagot 4:128 </ref> Others hold that it is forbidden.<ref>Rivevot Ephraim 6:289</ref>
#Technically, it is permitted to get married on Motzaei [[Tisha BeAv]], but some have the custom not to. If one is unsure what his custom is, he can be lenient and rely on the ikar hadin that it is permitted.<ref>Sh"t Yabia Omer 2:23:16, Sh"t Yechave Daat 5:41. </ref>

===Engagement===

#It is permitted to become engaged or write tenaim during the [[Nine Days]], and even on [[Tisha BeAv]] itself as long as there is no meal, music, or dancing to celebrate.<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:2 with Magen Avraham 551:10, and Mishna Brurah 551:16 and 19, Tur 551 in the name of Rav Nissim, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:1, Pri Megadim Eshel Avraham 551:10, Baer Heitev 551:11, Moed Likol Chai 9:18, Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim 1:5, Chayei Adam 133:8, Aruch Hashulchan 551:8, Yalkut Yosef Moadim page 553. <br />
However, the Tzitz Eliezer (13:60) notes that many Jews refrain from doing so on Tisha B'Av. In addition, the Ben Ish Chai (Devarim: Halacha 4) writes that in Baghdad, they would not get engaged during the Nine Days between Rosh Chodesh Av and Tisha B'Av. He says further that it is preferred not to get engaged at all during the "Three Weeks." </ref> Until [[Rosh Chodesh]], one is allowed to celebrate the engagement with a festive meal but without dancing.<ref>Mishna Brurah 551:19 </ref>
#It is permitted for the chattan and kallah to wear Shabbat clothing to their engagement party.<ref>Halichos Shlomo Moadim 2:14:4 </ref>
#Some poskim allow buying the engagement ring during the Nine Days,<ref>Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach in Shalmei Simcha page 61 </ref> while others are strict unless there will be a financial loss.<ref>Igros Moshe E.H. 4:84 </ref>

==Meals or Activities with Friends==

#Some say that it is forbidden to have meals with friends during the Nine Days.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 551:8</ref> However, if it isn't a meal but only desserts, that is okay.<ref>Nitai Gavriel (Ben Hametzarim 16:1) based on Magen Avraham 551:10</ref>
#An engagement or vort may be celebrated with a meal during the Three Weeks until Rosh Chodesh Av.<ref>Mishna Brurah 551:19 (with Shaar Hatziyun 551:26) holds that having a meal for writing the tenayim, agreement that a couple will get married, is permitted during the Three Weeks since it is a mitzvah. Laws of Daily Living: The Three Weeks (p. 45) agrees and applies this to engagements and vorts.</ref>
#It is permitted to celebrate a birthday party during the Three Weeks until Rosh Chodesh Av.<ref>Laws of Daily Living: The Three Weeks (p. 45)</ref> Regarding a good bye party one should ask one's rabbi.
# Is it permissible to go a sports game during the Three Weeks? Some poskim permit it and consider any music that is listened to as incidental. Other poskim forbid it because it is like an activity done with a group of friends which is forbidden during the Three Weeks. Even within those who permit, some only permit until Rosh Chodesh but not in the Nine Days.<ref>Tiferet Efraim pp. 481-482 quotes Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky (Kovetz Halachot pp. 15-18) who permitted going to a sports game even during the Nine Days and didn't consider the music to be a problem. Since the music isn't the main focus and is just incidental it is fine. However, he also quotes Rav Moshe Feinstein (Shemaytata Dmoshe 551:6) as holding that it is permitted during the Three Weeks but not the Nine Days. Rav Soloveitchik as quoted there held that going to a sports game is forbidden during the Three Weeks because it is a group activity, where being there with others is a simcha shel rabbim.</ref>
#It is permissible to give gifts during the Three Weeks until Rosh Chodesh. However, one should not give a gift that would require the recipient to recite [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Shaarei Teshuva 551:18*, Laws of Daily Living: The Three Weeks (p. 45)</ref>

==Cutting Hair==

#According to Ashkenazim it’s forbidden to cut one’s hair for the entire Three Weeks, however, according to Sephardim one can cut hair until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]].<ref>The Gemara in Taanit 26b says that one shouldn’t cut one’s hair the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. This Gemara is brought as Halacha by the Rambam (Taaniot 5:6). The Ramban (Torat HaAdam ([[Aveilut]] Yishana pg 346) explains that this prohibition applies to all hair on the body except the mustache if it interferes with eating. The Tur and S”A 551:3,12-13 rule like the Ramban that during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] one is forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body except if there’s facial hair interfering with eating. Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158) and Ben Ish Chai Devarim 12 write that this is Sephardic custom. However, Darkei Moshe 551:5 and Rama 551:4 rules that Ashkenazim should be strict not to cut hair all Three Weeks like the Sefer Minhagim (pg 74). Levush 3, Chayei Adam 133:8, Mishna Brurah 551:82, Aruch Hashulchan 551:31, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:3. Aruch Hashulchan 551:16 says the reason for this is that if we were allowed to get haircuts until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av it would not be clear that we grew our hair for [[mourning]], therefore we stop cutting it for the entire Three Weeks. </ref> One should wait until after [[chatzot]] on the tenth of Av to get a haircut.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 551:16. </ref>
#For Sephardim, it is permitted to take a haircut during the Three Weeks, even for a Sephardic Yeshiva Bachur in a Ashkenazi Yeshiva.<ref>Sh”t Yechave Daat 4:36, 3:39, Sh”t Yabia Omer 3:31:5, Yalkut Yosef (Kitzur S”A 551(2):11) </ref> However, it’s preferable to be strict not to cut the entire Three Weeks.<ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158-9) </ref>
#The father of a baby boy, the sandak, and the mohel can all cut their hair on the day of a baby's [[brit milah]].<ref>Shaar Hatziyun 551:4 quoting the Chatam Sofer 158, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:15, Kaf ha-Chayim 551:10, Pitchei [[Teshuvah]] 551:1, She’arim Metzuyanim b'Halachah 122:16. Baer Heitev 551:3 is stringent. </ref>
# If there is a [[Pidyon Haben]] during the Three Weeks, according to Sephardim the father may shave or cut his hair,<ref>Yalkut Yosef (Sova Semachot v. 2 p. 335)</ref> while according to Ashkenazim they may not.<ref>[https://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=46439&pgnum=135 Nitai Gavriel 20:5]</ref>
#It is forbidden to take a haircut for a bar mitzva.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 128. Rivevot Ephraim (1:337 and 2:155:20) and [https://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=46439&pgnum=135 Nitei Gavriel 20:6] quoting some opinions allow for a bar mitzva boy to get a haircut until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. </ref>
#Some say if one’s hair is so long that it is a chatzitzah for [[tefillin]] then one is permitted to get a haircut.<ref>Shalmei Moed page 476, Nitei Gavriel 19:7 </ref>
#It is permitted to cut one's hair during the Three Weeks if it will cause great monetary loss, but not during the week of Tisha B'av. If it will not cause loss, it is prohibited even if the hair makes him uncomfortable.<ref>Iggerot Moshe OC 4:102. See Igros Moshe Choshen Mishpat 93. see also See also Halichos Shlomo Moadim vol. 2 page 414 </ref>
#Some poskim allow a child under the age of six to get a haircut.<ref>Iggerot Moshe YD 1:224 and Aruch Hashulchan 551:31. Mishna Brurah 551:81 and Shaar Hatziyun 551:91 as well as the Chayei Adam 133:18 conclude that children even below 6 should not get haircuts and bring two reasons from the Terumat Hadeshen 142. One being [[chinuch]], in which case it would only apply to older than six and the other being "agmat nefesh," meaning it makes people feel more pain to see children [[mourning]], in which case it would apply to even children under 6. Chanoch lanaar 21:2:1, Nitei Gavriel 20:7, Rivevot Ephraim 1:336:2, 2:155:19 say that if an upsherin falls out during the Three Weeks one should either push it up or postpone it. Torat Yekutiel 1:47 is lenient. </ref>
#It is permitted to comb and style one's hair during the Three Weeks and [[Nine Days]] and one doesn't have to worry that one will pull out hairs.<ref>Eliya Rabba 551:7, Shaare Teshuva 551:12, Mishna Brurah 551:20, Aruch Hashulchan 551:15, Sh"t Yechave Daat 6:35, Ben Ish Chai Devarim 14, Kaf Hachayim 551:46. </ref>
#The poskim debate if one can trim his eyebrows during the Three Weeks.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein (quoted in Nitei Gavriel Bein Hametzarim pg. 130) says that may not do so during the Three Weeks either. Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (Halichot Shlomo vol. 2: pg. 414) disagrees and permits it. Devar Halachah 9, Shalmei Moed page 477 agrees. </ref>

===Women===
#It is permissible for a woman to cut her hair during the Three Weeks if she needs to do so in order to get married, if she is already engaged, or if a woman has the custom of cutting her hair before going to the mikveh.<ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 163), Shalmei Moed (pg 477), Igrot Moshe YD 2:137, Halichot Shelomo 3:14, Devar Halachah 10, Shalmei Moed Perek 89. See also Nefesh Harav 191-192 where he writes that it makes sense to say that women should be allowed to get haircuts up until the week of Tisha B'av. </ref>
#If a woman’s hair is growing so long that it is becoming difficult for her to keep the hair under the head covering, she can cut it during the Three Weeks.<ref>Mishnah Brurah 551:79, Rivevot Ephraim 8:178 </ref>
#It is permitted to put on makeup as one would on a regular day of the year but not something extra special.<ref>[http://www.tzohar.org.il/?p=1652 Rav Broner on tzohar.org.il], [http://din.org.il/2016/07/25/%D7%90%D7%99%D7%A4%D7%95%D7%A8-%D7%95%D7%A1%D7%99%D7%93%D7%95%D7%A8-%D7%92%D7%91%D7%95%D7%AA-%D7%91%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/ din.org.il], and [http://shut.moreshet.co.il/shut2.asp?id=26322 Rav Sherlow]. This is also the implication of the Nitai Gavriel (Ben Hametzarim 73 fnt. 10).</ref>
#Some say that it is permitted to dye your hair during the Nine Days.<ref>http://www.kipa.co.il/%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%9C-%D7%90%D7%AA-%D7%94%D7%A8%D7%91/%D7%A6%D7%91%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%AA-%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%A8-%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/</ref> Others say that it is only permitted in the Three Weeks before the Nine Days.<ref>http://shut.moreshet.co.il/shut2.asp?id=116844, https://www.toraland.org.il/%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%9C%D7%95%D7%AA-%D7%95%D7%AA%D7%A9%D7%95%D7%91%D7%95%D7%AA/%D7%91%D7%9E%D7%A2%D7%92%D7%9C-%D7%94%D7%A9%D7%A0%D7%94/%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/%D7%A6%D7%91%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%AA-%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%A8-%D7%91%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%99%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/. http://www.shoresh.org.il/spages/shut/shut4811.htm writes that it is permitted during the Nine Days if there's a specific pressing need otherwise it should be delayed. </ref>

===Wigs===
#Women may get their sheitels cut or styled during the Three Weeks. The reason is that this is considered like their clothing and not their hair.<ref>Nitei Gavriel (Bein Hamitzarim pg. 139) </ref>

==Shaving==

#There is a general prohibition of [[shaving]] during the Three Weeks just like hair cuts, however, there are several situations which may warrant [[shaving]] which include a person who shaves everyday, [[shaving]] for work, and [[shaving]] for Kavod [[Shabbat]]. As each one of these is a dispute and unclear if it is totally permissible, a person should follow his father’s minhag or ask his local Rabbi for guidance.<ref>Since S”A 551:12 rules that it’s forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] as a din from the Gemara it would seem clear that it’s forbidden to shave during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. Additionally, Ashkenazim who follow the Rama shouldn’t be able to shave during the entire Three Weeks as Rama 551:4 writes that the minhagim of the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] apply to the entire Three Weeks. However, there are several leniencies in the Achronim.

*(1) [[Shaving]] Regularly: Magen Avraham 551:14 explains that the reason the Rama is strict by cutting hair all three week and is lenient by washing clothes (that it should only begin from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av) is because it wasn’t common to cut hair every week. This Magen Avraham is brought by the Achronim including the Chaye Adam 133:17, and Mishna Brurah 551:32. Additionally, Aruch HaShulchan 551:16 explains that it takes 3 weeks of not cutting hair to make it recognizable that one is in [[mourning]]. Based on this, Shearim Metzuyanim BeHalacha 122:5 says that those who usually shave every 2-3 days should be able to shave since for them it’s just like washing clothes. Rav Ovadyah in Chazon Ovadyah (Vol Arba Taniot pg 162) based on this M”A says that seemingly, Ashkenazim should be allowed to shave for Kavod [[Shabbat]] prior to the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. However, Sh”t Shaar Zekenim pg 88a (quoted by Kaf HaChaim 551:65), Shivilei Dovid 551:4, and Rav Vozner in Sh”t Shevet HaLevi 10:81:3 reject this leniency based on the minhag to be strict for all circumstances.
*(2) Uncomfortable: (a) Rabbi Elazar Melamed in Peninei Halacha (zmanim pg 154-5) writes that if a person shaves everyday it’s very uncomfortable not to shave and it’s similar to S”A 551:13 that permits [[shaving]] a moustache that interferes with eating. (b)Rav Soloveitchik (quoted by Nefesh HaRav, Rav Schachter pg 191 and Shiurei Harav Al Inyanei [[Aveilut]] V'Tisha B'Av, pages 20-21 compared the Three Weeks to the [[Aveilut]] of a year, the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] (or according to Ashkenazim, from [[Rosh Chodesh]]) compares to the [[Aveilut]] of Shloshim, and [[Tisha BeAv]] itself is like [[Aveilut]] of [[Shiva]]. Accordingly, Rav Schachter writes that one who regularly shaves every day would be allowed to shave everyday until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. (Rav Schachter supports this comparison from Sh”t Panim Meirot 3:37e, and goes so far as to question Sh”t Igrot Moshe Y”D 2:137 who compares the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] to [[Aveilut]] of [[Shiva]].)
*(3) [[Shaving]] Specifically: Seemingly, from S”A 551:12 all bodily hair can’t be cut including [[shaving]] a beard. However, Sh”t Chatam Sofer Y”D 348 s.v. VeIy Galach writes that the entire prohibition only applies to cutting one’s hair but the poskim never spoke about [[shaving]] facial hair. This chiluk is also made by the Sh”t Nodeh BeYehuda O”C 14. Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha 122:5 brings these achronim as halacha for someone who needs to shave for work.
*(4) Monetary loss: (a)Sh”t Maharam Shik Y”D 371 writes that there is what to defend those who it’s difficult to do business with important people without [[shaving]] and during the year they regularly shave every 2-3 days to continue in the Three Weeks until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. (b) Sh”t Igrot Moshe C”M 1:93, O”C 4:102, 5:24:9 writes that by losing a business deal or customers that will affect one’s income after [[Tisha BeAv]], one can shave until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]], but during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] itself it’s only permissible to shave if one will not be able to make an income after [[Tisha BeAv]] or without working one needs to borrow money and it’s difficult to find someone to borrow from). Halachos of the Three Weeks by Rabbi Eider p. 3 writes that a person who needs to shave for work can shave during the Three Weeks but shouldn't during the Nine Days or at least the week when Tisha B'av falls out.(c) Maadenei Shlomo pg 51 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that if there’s a chance you’ll lose your job you can shave (even during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]). Halichot Shlomo pg 414 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that it’s permissible for a person who is in danger of losing a lot of money or his job may shave during the Three Weeks. (d)Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha brings the Taz 551:1 (brought by Mishna Brurah 551:12) that says nowadays we don’t decrease our business activity during this time since we have to pay government taxes and all income is included in our [[Parnasa]] and therefore here too if there’s a chance of losing [[Parnasa]] that can be considered a concern of loss of money.
*<div id="shavingforkavodshabbos"></div> (4) Kavod [[Shabbat]]: (a) Magen Avraham 551:14 and Mishna Brurah 551:32 write that the prohibition of cutting hair applies even for Kavod [[Shabbat]] (unlike [[laundering]] which is relaxed for Kavod [[Shabbat]] for someone who doesn't have other clothes, because people don't cut their hair either way weekly). Yet, Pri Megadim (A”A 551:14) writes that according to Rama one can shave in honor of [[Shabbat]] until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. However, Mateh Yehuda 551:4 writes that even in honor of [[Shabbat]] one can’t shave during the Three Weeks. (b) On this dispute, Kaf HaChaim 551:66 writes that in this regard in depends on the minhag of the place (to follow the Pri Megadim or not), and Rabbi Moshe Karp in Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMeysarim (pg 25) writes that the Pri Megadim was more in line with minhag Ashkenaz than the Mateh Yehuda and there’s a lot to rely on to follow Pri Megadim. (c) Even on the original position of the Magen Avraham, the Hagahot Rabbi Akiva Eiger and Beiur Halacha 551:3 s.v. VeChen (based on Tosfot Tanit and the Yerushalmi) argue that cutting hair should be permissible for Kavod [[Shabbat]] even for [[Shabbat]] Chazon. [However, the Rishonim themselves don’t all agree with Tosfot including the Kol Bo (quoted in Bet Yosef 551:4) who wouldn’t shave before [[Shabbat]] chazon and the Bet Yosef (who argues on Tosfot that it’s impossible to think that it’s permissible to cut hair on [[Tisha BeAv]] for Kavod [[Shabbat]]).] (d) Ashkenazim: Sh”t Ner Ezra (vol 2 pg 155-8) concludes that one can be lenient to shave for Kavod [[Shabbat]] and quotes Rav Aharon Lichtenstein who agrees. [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/pinchas.html Weekly Parsha Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt] writes that since many do shave regularly (more than once a week) there is a basis for the lenient minhag (based on the logic of the Magen Avraham). Nonetheless, the Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 42:52 writes simply like the Mishna Brurah not to shave during the Three Weeks even for Kavod [[Shabbat]]. (e)Sephardim: Rav Ovadyah Yosef (Sh"t Yechave Daat 3:39, Sh”t Yabia Omer 3:31:5; Chazon Ovadyah pg 162) writes that there is what to rely on to shave Friday of [[Shabbat]] Chazon if ones beard is uncomfortable, and certainly there’s what to rely on for Ashkenazim to shave for Kavod [[Shabbat]] during the rest of the Three Weeks. (e) Someone in doubt: Rabbi Rabinowitz (quoted in Peninei Halacha by 156) says that a person should follow the minhag of his father so as not to appear more lenient or strict that his father.</ref>
#A mourner who completed his [[mourning]] period during the Three Weeks, may take a haircut and a shave until [[Rosh Chodesh]].<ref>Mishna Brurah 551:87, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:14 </ref>
#Women may shave their legs if necessary.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 128 note 9, Kitzur Hilchot Bein hametzarim page 4. </ref>

==Dancing==

#Dancing is forbidden during the Three Weeks even not in the context of a joyous occasion.<ref>Magen Avraham 551:10 says explicitly that it is forbidden to dance during the Three Weeks even if not in the context of a joyous occasion such as an engagement. The Eliya Rabba 551:6, Pri Megadim E"A 551:10, Baer Hetiev 551:11, Mishna Brurah 551:16, Ben Ish Chai (Shana Rishona, Devarim no. 5), Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg 560, Kitzur S”A 551:9), Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 149), Simchat Cohen 162, and Lehorot Natan 10:49 all concur that dancing is forbidden during the Three Weeks. </ref>
#Some poskim are lenient to permit dancing at a sheva brachot during the Three Weeks for someone who got married before the Three Weeks.<ref>Lehorot Natan 10:49 explains that not dancing during the Three Weeks is a minhag but making the chatan and kallah happy at sheva brachot is a biblical or rabbinic obligation.</ref> Other poskim forbid it and even recommend not having a sheva brachot meal.<ref>Keneh Bosem 3:36. Nitai Gavriel (Three Weeks 6:5) cites poskim about this dispute.</ref>

==Swimming==

#Many hold that it is permissible to swim during the Three Weeks except in dangerous waters until the [[Nine Days]] (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av).<ref>Sh"t Teshuvot VeHanhagot 2:263, Piskei Teshuvot 551:46 [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/735559/Rabbi_Aryeh_Lebowitz/Halachos_of_the_Three_Weeks Rabbi Ayreh Lebowitz], Moadei Yeshurun (pg 128) quoting Rav Moshe, Halichot Shlomo (Moadim, vol 2, chap 14, note 7), MeBayit Levi (vol 13, pg 22, note 5) quoting Rav Wosner, Sh"t Rivevot Ephraim 3:333, 4:135:14, 6:285:2, Shevet HaKehati 1:169:4, and Laws of Daily Living: The Three Weeks (p. 46). [http://books.google.com/books?id=k2lV5wQwwj0C&lpg=PA34&ots=yg-xJtgt00&dq=swimming%20during%20the%20three%20weeks&pg=PA12#v=onepage&q=swimming%20during%20the%20three%20weeks&f=false Rabbi Eider] quotes Rav Moshe Iggerot Moshe Even Haezer 4:84 who says even during the [[Nine Days]] if one is sweating or dirty and wants to wash off it's permissible to dip in the pool for a short time. Shaarim mitzuyanim bihalacha kuntres acharon 122:12 is lenient with children swimming in private area during the [[Nine Days]], but not in public, like camps. Yechave Daat 1:38 says that Sephardim are permitted to swim throughout the Three Weeks, [[Nine Days]], and week of [[Tisha BeAv]] but Ashkenazim who follow the Rama should not. [https://itorah.com/power-search-results/6/2181 Rabbi Eli Mansour] writes that the Syrian minhag is not to swim during the week in which [[Tisha BeAv]] falls out. </ref>

==Bathing and Showering==

#The Ashkenazic custom is not to bathe or shower for all Nine Days even in cold water. The Sephardic custom is only to refrain from a warm bath or shower for the week of [[Tisha BeAv]].<ref>Rambam Hilchot Taaniot 5:6 writes that the custom is not to bathe or shower in warm water the week of Tisha BeAv. Mordechai Taanit 639, however, writes that it begins from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. Both opinions are quoted in Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:16. Rama 551:16 writes that Ashkenazim begin this practice from Rosh Chodesh Av. Mishna Brurah 551:94 agrees. For Sephardim, Kaf Hachayim 551:186 writes that a person should follow the custom of the place where you are living. Yechave Daat 1:38 holds that the Sephardic custom is that one is permitted to shower in cold water throughout. Also, the Sephardic custom is only to stop using hot water for the week of [[Tisha BeAv]].</ref>
#For [[Shabbat Chazon]], Ashkenazim hold that it is forbidden to bathe or shower one's whole body even in cold water. It is permitted to one's face, hands, feet, and one's hair if one usually cleans that for Shabbat.<Ref>Rama 551:16, Mishna Brurah 551:94</ref> Sephardic poskim permit washing the whole body with hot water for Shabbat Chazon.<ref>Yechave Daat 1:38 </ref>
#Many poskim hold that it is permitted to bathe or shower during the Nine Days not for leisure but just to remove dirt or sweat.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 551:37. Dirshu 551:109 quotes this same point from Rav Chaim Zonenfeld and Rav Moshe Feinstein. However, they also quote Rav Chaim Kanievsky who held that it is forbidden to take a full body shower during the Nine Days even to remove sweat. Also, Rav Elyashiv only permitted showering during the Nine Days for someone who showered every day even during the winter.</ref>
#Men who have the custom to use the mikveh daily can continue to use a cold mikveh during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] even according to the custom that people wouldn't swim or shower.<ref>Kaf Hachayim 551:190, Ben Ish Chai Devarim 16, Yechave Daat 1:38 </ref>

==Listening to Music==
{{Listening to Music during the Three Weeks}}

==Meat, Wine, and Laundry==
#Although there is a practice that a minority of people have not to have meat and wine all of the Three Weeks, most only refrain from it for the Nine Days. The details are found on the [[Nine_Days#Eating_Meat_and_Drinking_Wine]] page.
#Laundry is permitted during the Three Weeks until the [[Nine Days]]. See that page for details.
#Cutting nails is permitted during the Three Weeks until the [[Nine Days]].
#Building and planting is permitted during the Three Weeks until the [[Nine Days]].

==Miscellaneous==

#During the Three Weeks a Rabbi should be careful not to hit his students<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:18, Shulchan Shlomo 18, Chayei Adom 133:8. Mishna Brurah 551:103, Bear Heitev 551:41, Taz, Levush, Eshel Avraham Butchatch 551:18, Chayei Adam 133:8 and Aruch Hashulchan 551:39 add that this includes hitting with a strap. Kaf Hachayim 551:232 says that one should refrain even from the slightest hit. </ref> and a parent should not hit his child.<ref>Kitzur S”A 122:2, Kaf Hachayim 551:230, Orchos Rabbeinu 2: page 129:14 </ref>
===Court Cases===
#If a Jew has to have a lawsuit with a non-Jew, he should avoid having it with him in Av, as this is a time of ill fortune for a Jew.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 551:1, Taanit 29b. Mishna Brurah 551:2 based on the Magen Avraham 551:2 says that this applies throughout the month of av until [[rosh chodesh]] [[elul]], but at the minimum until [[Tisha BeAv]]. This is the ruling of the Chayei Adam 133:9, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:7. Ben Ish Chai Devarim Halacha 1 says one should preferably wait until the fifteenth of av but really one has to wait until the tenth. </ref>
===Fasting During the Three Weeks===
#Although some have the custom to fast during every day between the seventeenth of tammuz until the ninth of av, this should not be kept by a teacher of torah or somebody who is learning.<ref>Tur 551 and S”A 551:16 as well as the Chayei Adam 133:8 raise this minhag, but Birkei Yosef 551:7, Shaare Teshuva on S”A 551:16, Kaf Hachayim 551:191 and Mishna Brurah 90 say that this should not be done by a talmid chacham because he will not be able to focus on learning. </ref>
===Hagomel===
#One is permitted to recite the bracha of [[Hagomel]] at any point during the Three Weeks, including [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] and [[Tisha BeAv]].<ref>[http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=2349 Rabbi Eli Mansour] </ref>
===Tikkun Chatzot===
#It is a praiseworthy minhag to recite "tikkun Rachel" after chatzot of the day during the Three Weeks. This is in addition to the praiseworthy minhag to recite "[[tikkun chatzot]]" every night after chatzot. "Tikkun Rachel" should not be recited after chatzot of the day on Tish'a Bi'av itself. On Erev Rosh Chodesh, Rosh Chodesh, Erev Shabbat, and Shabbat, "tikkun Rachel" is also not recited during the day. This applies to any day that tachanun is not recited as well, for example a mohel, sandak, and avi haben, should not recite "tikkun Rachel" on the day of the berit milah. "Tikkun Chatzot" is not recited at night during a shemittah year, but a person may nevertheless recite "tikkun Rachel" during the day during the Three Weeks.<ref>Chazon Ovadia Arba Ta'aniyot page 128-129 </ref>

===Travel and Recreation===
# One shouldn't schedule trips and recreational activities for the Three Weeks.<ref>Mikraei Kodesh 5:1 quoting the Masa Chaim of Rav Chaim Palagi that the rabbis of his generation established that people shouldn't go on trips during the Three Weeks. He also writes that this is cited by the Sdei Chemed Ben Hametzarim 1:10 and Nitai Gavriel Ben Hametzarim 23 fnt. 7. He also quotes that he heard from Rav Shaul Yisraeli that one shoudln't go on recreational trips during the Three Weeks. </ref> Some say that if that is the only time a person has to take these trips with his family or it is for medical reasons it is permitted until the Nine Days.<reF>Mikraei Kodesh 5:1 citing Rav Mordechai Eliyahu</ref>
#During the Three Weeks one should refrain from going to dangerous places and should be even more careful during the [[Nine Days]].<ref>Piskei Teshuvot 551:1, 46. Also see [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=1682 Rabbi Eli Mansour on dailyhalacha.com]. </ref>
#If possible, one should avoid flying on an airplane during the Nine Days.<ref>Halichot Shlomo 14:24</ref>

===Surgery===
#One should not schedule surgery for during the 3 weeks, and certainly not during the 9 days, unless the doctor insists that it cannot be postponed.<ref>Piskei Teshuvot 551:1, Dirshu Mishna Brura 551:note 128 in the name of Rav Shmuel Vosner, Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 130:footnote 44, Emes Liyaakov 551:footnote 515, Nitei Gavriel 23:8. [http://www.doresh-tzion.co.il/QAShowAnswer.aspx?qaid=97499 Rav Bentzion Mussafi] permits until [[Rosh Chodesh]] to get surgery. see also Chazon Ovadia Arba Ta'aniyot page 128 footnote 2 and Halichot Olam vol 2 pg. 134 </ref>

==Haftarot==
# The custom is to read three tragic haftarot during the Three Weeks followed by 7 consolation haftarot.<ref>Tosafot Megillah 31b s.v. Rosh Chodesh Av, Shulchan Aruch 428:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:6 </ref>
# On the [[shabbat]] prior to [[Tisha BeAv]], [[Shabbat Chazon]], we read Isaiah Perek 1:1-27. It is the final of the three tragic haftarot.<Ref>see https://www.ou.org/holidays/the-three-weeks/shabbat_chazon/ </ref>

==Question and Answers==

#Is it permissible to shave during the 3 weeks for Kavod [[Shabbos]]? [[#shavingforkavodshabbos| See above]]

==Links==

*[http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/838353/Rabbi_Ezra_Schwartz/Halachos_of_Three_Weeks Halachos of Three Weeks] by Rabbi Ezra Schwartz
*[http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/714866/Rabbi_Yaakov_B_Neuburger/Halachas_of_the_Three_Weeks_and_Nine_days_-_Shiur_for_Women Halachas of the Three Weeks and Nine days - Shiur for Women] by Rabbi Yaakov Neuberger
*Article on [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/711706/Rabbi_Josh_Flug/The_Laws_Of_Bein_HaMetzarim The Laws Of Bein HaMetzarim] by Rabbi Josh Flug

==Sources==
<references />
{{Holidays}}
[[Category:Holidays]]

Three Weeks

2023-07-13T13:37:12Z

User792: /* Cutting Hair */ Fixed Lashon

[[Image:Destruction_temple.jpg|200px|right]]
The Three Weeks is a period of [[mourning]] from the fast of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] until [[Tisha BeAv]], when the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem were destroyed. During this time, Jews observe a number of practices, such as refraining from getting married, listening to music, cutting their hair, and wearing new clothes. The [[Nine Days]], which begin on [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av, are a more stringent period of mourning, during which additional practices are observed.

==When does the Three Weeks begin?==
#The Ashkenazic minhag is to begin [[mourning]] from [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]].<ref>Rama O.C. 551:2 and 4</ref>
#Many authorities hold that the practices of [[mourning]] begin from the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] (before the actual fast begins).<ref>
*The Chida in Sh"t Chaim Sha’al 1:24 writes that one may not make [[shehechiyanu]] the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. Kaf Hachaim 551:207 agrees. Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 maintains that the one may not make a wedding the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] and bases it on the ruling of the Chida not to say [[shehechiyanu]] from the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. He add that according to some achronim the night of the 17th of tammuz is as strict as the [[Nine Days]]. In regards to weddings the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]], Eshel Avraham Mebutchatch OC 551, Nitei Gavriel (Bein HaMetzarim, vol 1, 14:5), Halichot Shlomo (Moadim vol 2, 18:5), and Rabbi Soloveitchik (cited by Rabbi Hershel Schachter in Nefesh Harav page 196) agree. Orchot Rabbeinu (vol 2, pg 127) quotes the Steipler about not taking a haircut the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. See also Rav Elyashiv (cited by Doleh UMashkeh pg 207-208), Divrei Moshe 1:33, [[Shevet Halevi]] 8:168:7 and 10:81:2, Moadim Uzmanim 8:338, and Moadei Yeshurun (pg 128) who agree with this approach.</ref> However, some allow in cases of great need to consider the Three Weeks as starting from the day of Shiva Asar BeTamuz.<ref>
*However, Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:168, 3:100 (at the end), and 4:112(2) permits in cases of great need (such as performing a wedding on Motzei [[Shabbat]] the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]). Igrot Moshe 3:100 adds that since saying [[shehechiyanu]] is a dispute there's no need to be strict not to say it the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. Igrot Moshe 4:112(2) writes for great need one can be lenient to cut one's hair the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha 122:1 agrees. Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 writes that later Rav Moshe was asked about performing a wedding the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] and he advised doing the Chupah before [[Shekiyah]]. Rav Elyashiv (cited by Doleh U’mashke pg 208 note 557) says that in a pressing situation once can be lenient.</ref>
#If [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] falls out on [[Shabbat]] and is pushed off to Sunday, then everyone agrees that the practices of [[mourning]] apply the night of the fast (Motzei Shabbat) as some of them apply already on Shabbat.<ref>Sh"t Igrot Moshe 1:168, and 3:100 </ref>

==Eating a New Fruit or Buying New Clothing==
===Shehechiyanu===
# One should refrain from making a [[shehechiyanu]] during the Ben Hamitzarim.<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:17 based on Maharil 31 writes that one should refrain from saying [[shehechiyanu]] during Ben HaMeysarim. The Magen Avraham 551:42 explains that the reason not to make [[shehechiyanu]] is because the Three Weeks is a time of tragedy for Klal Yisrael and it’s improper to have extra joy. However, the Gra s.v. VeNohagin understands the practice as based on [[Aveilut]] and therefore argues that this is only an extra chumra and one is allowed to make [[shehechiyanu]] (just like a mourner can make a [[shehechiyanu]] as in [[Brachot]] 59b). The Taz 551:17 agrees to be lenient based on the concern that perhaps if you don’t make the Bracha now you may not be able after the Ben HaMeysarim. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one shouldn’t be lenient except on [[Shabbat]]. Yalkut Yosef 551:12 rules like Shulchan Aruch that one should refrain from making [[shehechiyanu]] during the Three Weeks. </ref>
#One shouldn’t make a [[shehechiyanu]] on the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. However, if there is a great need, there’s what to rely on.<ref>Sh”t Sh”t Chaim Shal 1:24, Kaf HaChaim 551:207, Sdei Chemed 5:page 277, Beiur Halacha 551:2 and Ikrei HaDaat O”C 27:9 write that one shouldn’t say [[shehechiyanu]] on the night of [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]]. However, Nechamat Yisrael (pg 40) permits in case of great need based on Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 1:168 (so is explicit in Sh”t Igrot Moshe O”C 3:100) and Mishnat Yacov (pg 168) permits [[shehechiyanu]] at night even without any need. </ref>

===Wearing New Clothing or Eating New Fruit===
#During the Three Weeks, one should not wear any new clothes or eat a new fruit which would obligate one to make a [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:17 writes that it is good not to make a [[shehechiyanu]] on a new fruit or new clothing during the Three Weeks.
*The Sh"t Maharil 15 writes that one shouldn't make a [[shehechiyanu]] on a new fruit or new clothing during the Three Weeks. Shulchan Aruch 551:17 codifies this as halacha saying that it is good not to say [[shehechiyanu]] during the Three Weeks.
* Bach 551 (at the end) agrees and writes should avoid getting into situations that would obligate reciting shehechiyanu; that is, eating a new fruit, buying or wearing new clothing. Kaf HaChaim 551:210 agrees. Also, Mishna Brurah 551:99 writes that one shouldn't eat new fruit or wear new clothing. The Bear Mayim Chaim 7 disagrees with Bach and writes that the only issue is not to make the bracha of [[shehechiyanu]], however, one may eat a new fruit and just not make [[shehechiyanu]]. The Maamar Mordechai 551:14 rejects this idea and doesn't allow eating the new fruit. The Mishna Brurah 551:99, Kaf HaChaim 551:207, and Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot p. 129) agree with the Maamar Mordechai.
* Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:6 rules that it is forbidden to wear new clothes during the week in which [[Tisha BeAv]] falls out and the Rama adds that the Ashkenazic minhag is to be strict on this starting from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av (during the entire [[Nine Days]]). The Magen Avraham 551:21 is bothered why there is another prohibition to wear new clothes (Shulchan Aruch 551:6) if one can't wear new clothes anyway because of avoiding making [[shehechiyanu]] during the entire Three Weeks (Shulchan Aruch 551:17). See there where he gives 2 answers. The Kaf HaChaim 551:88 answers that avoiding [[shehechiyanu]] is only considered preferable by Shulchan Aruch 551:17, while not wearing new clothes during the week during which [[Tisha BeAv]] falls out is an actual prohibition.</ref>
#Because one shouldn’t make a [[shehechiyanu]], one shouldn’t eat a new fruit or wear a new clothing because these actions require a [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Sh”t Chaim Sheol O”C 7 and Ketonet Yosef 11 (quoted in Kaf HaChaim 551:207) writes that even though one can’t make a [[shehechiyanu]] during the 3 weeks, one can eat a new fruit or wear new clothes without a Bracha. However, the Sefer Chasidim 840, Shaarei Knesset HaGedolah 551:52, Bach 551, Maamer Mordechai 551:14, Yometz Ometz 56, Bear Heitev 551:20, and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 write that one is not allowed to have a new fruit during the Three Weeks without a Bracha, since having a new fruit requires a Bracha and it can’t be made during the Three Weeks. Birkei Yosef 551:12, Shaare Teshuva 551:38, and Kaf Hachayim 551:215 hold that a [[shehechiyanu]] may be recited if by mistake he already made the borei pri haetz over a new fruit. </ref> A new fruit that will not be available after the Three Weeks may be eaten and a [[shehechiyanu]] recited.<ref>Rama OC 551:17 </ref>
#During the [[Nine Days]] one should not buy new clothing.<ref>Rama 551:7 writes that buying new clothing is forbidden during the [[Nine Days]] just like fixing new clothing.</ref> See [[Nine_Days#Buying_or_Wearing_New_Clothing]] for details.
# However, a pregnant woman or a sick person is permitted to eat new fruit.<ref>Mishna Brurah 551:99, Yalkut Yosef 551:13 </ref>

===Buying New Clothing===
#Since nowadays we don’t make a [[shehechiyanu]] on buying new clothes but only for wearing new clothes, some permit buying new clothes and some forbid.<ref>Halichot Shlomo p. 411 brings from the Talmidim of Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach that it’s permissible to buy new clothes since nowadays we don’t make a Bracha on buying clothes. This is the ruling of Mishna Brurah 551:45 and Kaf Hachayim 551:88, see Nechamet Yisrael pg 40 </ref>
#If one doesn't have non-leather shoes for [[Tisha BeAv]] and one forgot to buy, one may buy them in the [[Nine Days]].<ref>Sh"t Halachot Ketanot 1:139, Zeh HaShulchan (vol 2, Siman 551), Iggerot Moshe OC 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 </ref>

===Fixing Old Clothing===
#Knitting and needlecraft is prohibited during the [[Nine Days]].<ref>Rav Shimon Eider Halachos of the Three Weeks page 11. </ref> Repairing a torn garment is permitted <ref>Iggerot Moshe, OC 3:79. </ref>

===On Shabbat===
# On [[Shabbat]] many poskim are lenient to allow one to recite [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Sefer Chasidim 840, Mateh Moshe 697, Yosef Ometz 861, Magen Avraham 551:21,42, Chaye Adam 133:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2, and Sh"t Yechave Daat 1:37 permit making [[shehechiyanu]] on [[Shabbat]]. However, the Magen Avraham 551:42 quotes the Kitvei HaArizal who is machmir even on [[Shabbat]]. Mishna Brurah 551:98 concludes that one can be lenient regarding making [[shehechiyanu]] on [[Shabbat]] since there’s some are lenient on [[shechiyanu]] during all of the Three Weeks and there’s some who specifically permit [[Shabbat]]. </ref>
#On [[Shabbat]] Chazon one shouldn’t wear new clothes that would require [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Eliyah Rabba 551:17 in name of Madenei [[Yom Tov]] that one should not wear new clothes even on [[Shabbat]] during the Three Weeks because wearing new clothes has a special aspect of happiness (which is greater than eating a new fruit). This is also the opinion of the Derech HaChaim 551:6 and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:2 not to wear new clothes all Three Weeks including [[Shabbat]]. However, Chaye Adam 133:14 and Aruch HaShulchan 551:38 writes that one can make [[shehechiyanu]] before [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av, but afterwards one shouldn’t make [[shehechiyanu]] even on [[Shabbat]]. Additionally, Mishna Brurah 551:45 writes that even those who are lenient to make [[shehechiyanu]] on [[Shabbat]] during the Three Weeks will agree to be strict on [[Shabbat]] Chazon not to wear new clothes (which has a special element of happiness that a new fruit doesn’t have). Sh”t Yechave Daat 1:37 and Torat HaMoadim 5:7 concurs to the opinion of Mishna Brurah. </ref> There is also a minhag not to wear new clothing that don't require a [[shehechiyanu]] specifically during the Nine Days.<ref>Rama 551:7, Mishna Brurah 551:9</ref> See further on the [[Nine Days#Buying Clothing|Nine Days]] page.
===Bracha for a Baby===
#A person should recite a [[shehechiyanu]] upon the birth of a baby boy or girl during the Three Weeks because that Bracha can't wait until after the Three Weeks.<ref>Nitei Gavriel 17:19, Avnei Yishpeh 5:80 based on Maharil 31 who says the restriction of saying [[shehechiyanu]] is only on a beracha that can wait until after. </ref> Similarly, at a [[Pidyon HaBen]] one should make a [[shehechiyanu]] even during the Three Weeks.<ref>Nitei Gavriel 17:20 </ref>
===Pidyon Haben===
#A [[shehechiyanu]] should be recited for the [[Pidyon Haben]] even during the Three Weeks.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 551:17, Moed Likol Chai 9:25 </ref>

===Hatov Vihametiv===
#One may say the Bracha of [[HaTov VeHaMeitiv]] during the Three Weeks.<ref>Nitei Gavriel 17:22, Shaare [[Teshuvah]] 551:10, Moed Likol Chai 9:24, Machazik Beracha 551:10, Rav Chaim Kanievsky quoted in Nechamas Yisroel page 45:footnote 14, Rivevot Ephraim 4:135:2, 7:58, 234, Avnei Yushfe 5:81 quoting Rav Wosner, Or Letzion 3:25:4 </ref>

===Sales===
#If there is a sale and one will be unable to purchase the same clothing after [[Tisha BeAv]] at the sale price, one may buy the item during the [[Nine days]], but may not wear the clothing until after [[Tisha BeAv]].<ref>Rabbi Moshe Feinstein quoted in Mesoras Moshe volume 2 O"C 262, Ohr Letzion volume 3 26:2 end of note 2.</ref>

===Tzitzit and Tefillin===
#If one doesn't have [[Tefillin]] or one has the opportunity to buy nicer [[Tefillin]] it's permissible to buy them even after [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av.<ref>Zeh HaShulchan (vol 1, Siman 551), Iggerot Moshe OC 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 </ref>
#One should refrain from buying [[Tzitzit]] or a [[Tallit]] during the Three Weeks.<ref>Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375 in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein writes that one should refrain from buying [[Tzitzis]] or a Talis. Similarly, Or LeArba Asar (pg 81) writes that one should buy and wear it (and make [[shehechiyanu]]) before the Three Weeks, however, after the fact if one didn't and one doesn't have as nice a pair one is permitted to wear it. Sh"t Birkat Reuven Shlomo 9:31 agrees. She'elat Yaavetz 82 says that if your [[tzitzit]] become pasul and you don't have another, you may wear or even purchase a new one to fulfill the mitzva. </ref>
#One should not purchase a new talit gadol as this would require making a shehechiyanu. However, one can purchase a new tallit katan since shehechiyanu is not recited on those.<ref>Iggerot Moshe 3:80</ref> One may also purchase a tallit gadol if it doesn't have strings up until Rosh Chodesh Av.<ref>Moadei Yeshurun pg. 129:13b and pg. 152:34 in the name of Rav Moshe</ref>

===Cars===
#One should refrain from buying a car during the Three Weeks unless one is buying it primarily for business purposes.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein in Igrot Moshe 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375</ref>
#Also, if one's entire family will use it and benefit from it, then one may buy it until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av and make a bracha of HaTov VeHaMetiev instead of [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Sh"t Igrot Moshe 3:80, Sh"t Rivevot Efraim 1:375, Nitay Gavriel Page 51 </ref>

===Furniture and Appliances===
#Some poskim permit buying a closet or cabinet during the [[Nine Days]], while others forbid it.<ref>Torat Hamoadim 5:16 says that buying closets or cabinets doesn't make one joyful and is therefore permitted but Iggerot Moshe 3:82 says a bookshelf does make people happy and is not allowed to be bought. </ref>
#Some poskim permit buying any necessary appliance, such as a refrigerator, washing machine, or bed, to replace one that broke during the Three Weeks.<ref>Piskei Teshuvot 551:11 </ref>

==Weddings==

#The Ashkenazic custom is not to get married during the Three Weeks.<ref>Rama 551:2 and Darchei Moshe 551:5 based on the Sefer Haminhagim, Chayei Adam 133:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:1, Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMetsarim (Rabbi Moshe Karp) 3:1, Nitei Gavriel Bein Hametzarim vol. 1, 14:8. On the night of Shiva Asar Bitammuz itself, Rav Moshe Feinstein (OC 168) is lenient, while Tzitz Eliezer 10:26 is strict. </ref> Among Sephardim, some have just the custom not to get married during the [[Nine Days]] (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av until [[Tisha BeAv]]) <ref>Shulchan Aruch 551:2, based on gemara Yevamot 43b, Yalkut Yosef (Moadim, 5748 edition, pg 554, Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 140), Sh"t Yabia Omer OC 6:43, Sh"t Yechave Daat 1:36, Sh"t Or Litzion 3:25:1 </ref> and some have the custom not to get married the entire Three Weeks.<ref>Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim Halacha 4 based on the Shyarei Knesset Hagedola, Sdei Chemed 6 Marechet Bein Hametzarim 1:10, [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=946 Rabbi Mansour on DailyHalacha.com] says that this is the Syrian minhag. </ref>
#Some say that it is permitted for an Ashkenazi to attend a sefardi wedding before [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av, and they may even dance at the wedding.<ref>Nitei Gavriel Bein Hametzarim vol. 1, 14:10, Teshuvot Vihanhagot 4:128 </ref> Others hold that it is forbidden.<ref>Rivevot Ephraim 6:289</ref>
#Technically, it is permitted to get married on Motzaei [[Tisha BeAv]], but some have the custom not to. If one is unsure what his custom is, he can be lenient and rely on the ikar hadin that it is permitted.<ref>Sh"t Yabia Omer 2:23:16, Sh"t Yechave Daat 5:41. </ref>

===Engagement===

#It is permitted to become engaged or write tenaim during the [[Nine Days]], and even on [[Tisha BeAv]] itself as long as there is no meal, music, or dancing to celebrate.<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:2 with Magen Avraham 551:10, and Mishna Brurah 551:16 and 19, Tur 551 in the name of Rav Nissim, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:1, Pri Megadim Eshel Avraham 551:10, Baer Heitev 551:11, Moed Likol Chai 9:18, Ben Ish Chai Parashat Devarim 1:5, Chayei Adam 133:8, Aruch Hashulchan 551:8, Yalkut Yosef Moadim page 553. <br />
However, the Tzitz Eliezer (13:60) notes that many Jews refrain from doing so on Tisha B'Av. In addition, the Ben Ish Chai (Devarim: Halacha 4) writes that in Baghdad, they would not get engaged during the Nine Days between Rosh Chodesh Av and Tisha B'Av. He says further that it is preferred not to get engaged at all during the "Three Weeks." </ref> Until [[Rosh Chodesh]], one is allowed to celebrate the engagement with a festive meal but without dancing.<ref>Mishna Brurah 551:19 </ref>
#It is permitted for the chattan and kallah to wear Shabbat clothing to their engagement party.<ref>Halichos Shlomo Moadim 2:14:4 </ref>
#Some poskim allow buying the engagement ring during the Nine Days,<ref>Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach in Shalmei Simcha page 61 </ref> while others are strict unless there will be a financial loss.<ref>Igros Moshe E.H. 4:84 </ref>

==Meals or Activities with Friends==

#Some say that it is forbidden to have meals with friends during the Nine Days.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 551:8</ref> However, if it isn't a meal but only desserts, that is okay.<ref>Nitai Gavriel (Ben Hametzarim 16:1) based on Magen Avraham 551:10</ref>
#An engagement or vort may be celebrated with a meal during the Three Weeks until Rosh Chodesh Av.<ref>Mishna Brurah 551:19 (with Shaar Hatziyun 551:26) holds that having a meal for writing the tenayim, agreement that a couple will get married, is permitted during the Three Weeks since it is a mitzvah. Laws of Daily Living: The Three Weeks (p. 45) agrees and applies this to engagements and vorts.</ref>
#It is permitted to celebrate a birthday party during the Three Weeks until Rosh Chodesh Av.<ref>Laws of Daily Living: The Three Weeks (p. 45)</ref> Regarding a good bye party one should ask one's rabbi.
# Is it permissible to go a sports game during the Three Weeks? Some poskim permit it and consider any music that is listened to as incidental. Other poskim forbid it because it is like an activity done with a group of friends which is forbidden during the Three Weeks. Even within those who permit, some only permit until Rosh Chodesh but not in the Nine Days.<ref>Tiferet Efraim pp. 481-482 quotes Rav Shmuel Kamenetsky (Kovetz Halachot pp. 15-18) who permitted going to a sports game even during the Nine Days and didn't consider the music to be a problem. Since the music isn't the main focus and is just incidental it is fine. However, he also quotes Rav Moshe Feinstein (Shemaytata Dmoshe 551:6) as holding that it is permitted during the Three Weeks but not the Nine Days. Rav Soloveitchik as quoted there held that going to a sports game is forbidden during the Three Weeks because it is a group activity, where being there with others is a simcha shel rabbim.</ref>
#It is permissible to give gifts during the Three Weeks until Rosh Chodesh. However, one should not give a gift that would require the recipient to recite [[shehechiyanu]].<ref>Shaarei Teshuva 551:18*, Laws of Daily Living: The Three Weeks (p. 45)</ref>

==Cutting Hair==

#According to Ashkenazim it’s forbidden to cut one’s hair for the entire Three Weeks, however, according to Sephardim one can cut hair until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]].<ref>The Gemara in Taanit 26b says that one shouldn’t cut one’s hair the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. This Gemara is brought as Halacha by the Rambam (Taaniot 5:6). The Ramban (Torat HaAdam ([[Aveilut]] Yishana pg 346) explains that this prohibition applies to all hair on the body except the mustache if it interferes with eating. The Tur and S”A 551:3,12-13 rule like the Ramban that during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] one is forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body except if there’s facial hair interfering with eating. Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158) and Ben Ish Chai Devarim 12 write that this is Sephardic custom. However, Darkei Moshe 551:5 and Rama 551:4 rules that Ashkenazim should be strict not to cut hair all Three Weeks like the Sefer Minhagim (pg 74). Levush 3, Chayei Adam 133:8, Mishna Brurah 551:82, Aruch Hashulchan 551:31, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:3. Aruch Hashulchan 551:16 says the reason for this is that if we were allowed to get haircuts until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av it would not be clear that we grew our hair for [[mourning]], therefore we stop cutting it for the entire Three Weeks. </ref> One should wait until after [[chatzot]] on the tenth of Av to get a haircut.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 551:16. </ref>
#For Sephardim it’s permitted to take a haircut during the Three Weeks, even for a Sephardic Yeshiva Bachur in a Ashkenazi Yeshiva .<ref>Sh”t Yechave Daat 4:36, 3:39, Sh”t Yabia Omer 3:31:5, Yalkut Yosef (Kitzur S”A 551(2):11) </ref> However, it’s preferable to be strict not to cut the entire Three Weeks.<ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 158-9) </ref>
#The father of a baby boy, the sandak, and the mohel can all cut their hair on the day of a baby's [[brit milah]].<ref>Shaar Hatziyun 551:4 quoting the Chatam Sofer 158, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:15, Kaf ha-Chayim 551:10, Pitchei [[Teshuvah]] 551:1, She’arim Metzuyanim b'Halachah 122:16. Baer Heitev 551:3 is stringent. </ref>
# If there is a [[Pidyon Haben]] during the Three Weeks, according to Sephardim the father may shave or cut his hair,<ref>Yalkut Yosef Sova Semachot v. 2 p. 335</ref> while according to Ashkenazim they may not.<ref>[https://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=46439&pgnum=135 Nitai Gavriel 20:5]</ref>
#It is forbidden to take a haircut for a bar mitzva.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 128. Rivevot Ephraim (1:337 and 2:155:20) and [https://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=46439&pgnum=135 Nitei Gavriel 20:6] quoting some opinions allow for a bar mitzva boy to get a haircut until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. </ref>
#Some say if one’s hair is so long that it is a chatzitzah for [[tefillin]] then one is permitted to get a haircut.<ref>Shalmei Moed page 476, Nitei Gavriel 19:7 </ref>
#If not cutting one's hair will cause great monetary loss, one is permitted to cut it during the Three Weeks but not during the week that Tisha B'av falls out. If one will not lose money, even if the hair makes him uncomfortable he may not cut his hair.<ref>Iggerot Moshe OC 4:102. see Igros Moshe Choshen Mishpat 93. see also See also Halichos Shlomo Moadim vol. 2 page 414 </ref>
#Some poskim allow a child under the age of six to get a haircut.<ref>Iggerot Moshe YD 1:224 and Aruch Hashulchan 551:31. Mishna Brurah 551:81 and Shaar Hatziyun 551:91 as well as the Chayei Adam 133:18 conclude that children even below 6 should not get haircuts and bring two reasons from the Terumat Hadeshen 142. One being [[chinuch]], in which case it would only apply to older than six and the other being "agmat nefesh," meaning it makes people feel more pain to see children [[mourning]], in which case it would apply to even children under 6. Chanoch lanaar 21:2:1, Nitei Gavriel 20:7, Rivevot Ephraim 1:336:2, 2:155:19 say that if an upsherin falls out during the Three Weeks one should either push it up or postpone it. Torat Yekutiel 1:47 is lenient. </ref>
#It is permitted to comb and style one's hair during the Three Weeks and [[Nine Days]] and one doesn't have to worry that one will pull out hairs.<ref>Eliya Rabba 551:7, Shaare Teshuva 551:12, Mishna Brurah 551:20, Aruch Hashulchan 551:15, Sh"t Yechave Daat 6:35, Ben Ish Chai Devarim 14, Kaf Hachayim 551:46. </ref>
#The poskim debate if one can trim his eyebrows during the Three Weeks.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein (quoted in Nitei Gavriel Bein Hametzarim pg. 130) says that may not do so during the Three Weeks either. Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (Halichot Shlomo vol. 2: pg. 414) disagrees and permits it. Devar Halachah 9, Shalmei Moed page 477 agrees. </ref>

===Women===
#It is permissible for a woman to cut her hair during the Three Weeks if she needs to do so in order to get married, if she is already engaged, or if a woman has the custom of cutting her hair before going to the mikveh.<ref>Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taniyot pg 163), Shalmei Moed (pg 477), Igrot Moshe YD 2:137, Halichot Shelomo 3:14, Devar Halachah 10, Shalmei Moed Perek 89. See also Nefesh Harav 191-192 where he writes that it makes sense to say that women should be allowed to get haircuts up until the week of Tisha B'av. </ref>
#If a woman’s hair is growing so long that it is becoming difficult for her to keep the hair under the head covering, she can cut it during the Three Weeks.<ref>Mishnah Brurah 551:79, Rivevot Ephraim 8:178 </ref>
#It is permitted to put on makeup as one would on a regular day of the year but not something extra special.<ref>[http://www.tzohar.org.il/?p=1652 Rav Broner on tzohar.org.il], [http://din.org.il/2016/07/25/%D7%90%D7%99%D7%A4%D7%95%D7%A8-%D7%95%D7%A1%D7%99%D7%93%D7%95%D7%A8-%D7%92%D7%91%D7%95%D7%AA-%D7%91%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/ din.org.il], and [http://shut.moreshet.co.il/shut2.asp?id=26322 Rav Sherlow]. This is also the implication of the Nitai Gavriel (Ben Hametzarim 73 fnt. 10).</ref>
#Some say that it is permitted to dye your hair during the Nine Days.<ref>http://www.kipa.co.il/%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%9C-%D7%90%D7%AA-%D7%94%D7%A8%D7%91/%D7%A6%D7%91%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%AA-%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%A8-%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/</ref> Others say that it is only permitted in the Three Weeks before the Nine Days.<ref>http://shut.moreshet.co.il/shut2.asp?id=116844, https://www.toraland.org.il/%D7%A9%D7%90%D7%9C%D7%95%D7%AA-%D7%95%D7%AA%D7%A9%D7%95%D7%91%D7%95%D7%AA/%D7%91%D7%9E%D7%A2%D7%92%D7%9C-%D7%94%D7%A9%D7%A0%D7%94/%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/%D7%A6%D7%91%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%AA-%D7%A9%D7%99%D7%A2%D7%A8-%D7%91%D7%91%D7%99%D7%9F-%D7%94%D7%9E%D7%99%D7%A6%D7%A8%D7%99%D7%9D/. http://www.shoresh.org.il/spages/shut/shut4811.htm writes that it is permitted during the Nine Days if there's a specific pressing need otherwise it should be delayed. </ref>

===Wigs===

#Women may get their sheitels cut or styled during the Three Weeks, as this is not considered to be their hair, but their clothing.<ref>Nitei Gavriel Bein Hamitzarim pg. 139 </ref>

==Shaving==

#There is a general prohibition of [[shaving]] during the Three Weeks just like hair cuts, however, there are several situations which may warrant [[shaving]] which include a person who shaves everyday, [[shaving]] for work, and [[shaving]] for Kavod [[Shabbat]]. As each one of these is a dispute and unclear if it is totally permissible, a person should follow his father’s minhag or ask his local Rabbi for guidance.<ref>Since S”A 551:12 rules that it’s forbidden to cut any hair on one’s body during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] as a din from the Gemara it would seem clear that it’s forbidden to shave during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. Additionally, Ashkenazim who follow the Rama shouldn’t be able to shave during the entire Three Weeks as Rama 551:4 writes that the minhagim of the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] apply to the entire Three Weeks. However, there are several leniencies in the Achronim.

*(1) [[Shaving]] Regularly: Magen Avraham 551:14 explains that the reason the Rama is strict by cutting hair all three week and is lenient by washing clothes (that it should only begin from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av) is because it wasn’t common to cut hair every week. This Magen Avraham is brought by the Achronim including the Chaye Adam 133:17, and Mishna Brurah 551:32. Additionally, Aruch HaShulchan 551:16 explains that it takes 3 weeks of not cutting hair to make it recognizable that one is in [[mourning]]. Based on this, Shearim Metzuyanim BeHalacha 122:5 says that those who usually shave every 2-3 days should be able to shave since for them it’s just like washing clothes. Rav Ovadyah in Chazon Ovadyah (Vol Arba Taniot pg 162) based on this M”A says that seemingly, Ashkenazim should be allowed to shave for Kavod [[Shabbat]] prior to the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. However, Sh”t Shaar Zekenim pg 88a (quoted by Kaf HaChaim 551:65), Shivilei Dovid 551:4, and Rav Vozner in Sh”t Shevet HaLevi 10:81:3 reject this leniency based on the minhag to be strict for all circumstances.
*(2) Uncomfortable: (a) Rabbi Elazar Melamed in Peninei Halacha (zmanim pg 154-5) writes that if a person shaves everyday it’s very uncomfortable not to shave and it’s similar to S”A 551:13 that permits [[shaving]] a moustache that interferes with eating. (b)Rav Soloveitchik (quoted by Nefesh HaRav, Rav Schachter pg 191 and Shiurei Harav Al Inyanei [[Aveilut]] V'Tisha B'Av, pages 20-21 compared the Three Weeks to the [[Aveilut]] of a year, the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] (or according to Ashkenazim, from [[Rosh Chodesh]]) compares to the [[Aveilut]] of Shloshim, and [[Tisha BeAv]] itself is like [[Aveilut]] of [[Shiva]]. Accordingly, Rav Schachter writes that one who regularly shaves every day would be allowed to shave everyday until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. (Rav Schachter supports this comparison from Sh”t Panim Meirot 3:37e, and goes so far as to question Sh”t Igrot Moshe Y”D 2:137 who compares the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] to [[Aveilut]] of [[Shiva]].)
*(3) [[Shaving]] Specifically: Seemingly, from S”A 551:12 all bodily hair can’t be cut including [[shaving]] a beard. However, Sh”t Chatam Sofer Y”D 348 s.v. VeIy Galach writes that the entire prohibition only applies to cutting one’s hair but the poskim never spoke about [[shaving]] facial hair. This chiluk is also made by the Sh”t Nodeh BeYehuda O”C 14. Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha 122:5 brings these achronim as halacha for someone who needs to shave for work.
*(4) Monetary loss: (a)Sh”t Maharam Shik Y”D 371 writes that there is what to defend those who it’s difficult to do business with important people without [[shaving]] and during the year they regularly shave every 2-3 days to continue in the Three Weeks until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. (b) Sh”t Igrot Moshe C”M 1:93, O”C 4:102, 5:24:9 writes that by losing a business deal or customers that will affect one’s income after [[Tisha BeAv]], one can shave until the week of [[Tisha BeAv]], but during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] itself it’s only permissible to shave if one will not be able to make an income after [[Tisha BeAv]] or without working one needs to borrow money and it’s difficult to find someone to borrow from). Halachos of the Three Weeks by Rabbi Eider p. 3 writes that a person who needs to shave for work can shave during the Three Weeks but shouldn't during the Nine Days or at least the week when Tisha B'av falls out.(c) Maadenei Shlomo pg 51 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that if there’s a chance you’ll lose your job you can shave (even during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]). Halichot Shlomo pg 414 brings Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach who says that it’s permissible for a person who is in danger of losing a lot of money or his job may shave during the Three Weeks. (d)Shearim Metsuyanim BeHalacha brings the Taz 551:1 (brought by Mishna Brurah 551:12) that says nowadays we don’t decrease our business activity during this time since we have to pay government taxes and all income is included in our [[Parnasa]] and therefore here too if there’s a chance of losing [[Parnasa]] that can be considered a concern of loss of money.
*<div id="shavingforkavodshabbos"></div> (4) Kavod [[Shabbat]]: (a) Magen Avraham 551:14 and Mishna Brurah 551:32 write that the prohibition of cutting hair applies even for Kavod [[Shabbat]] (unlike [[laundering]] which is relaxed for Kavod [[Shabbat]] for someone who doesn't have other clothes, because people don't cut their hair either way weekly). Yet, Pri Megadim (A”A 551:14) writes that according to Rama one can shave in honor of [[Shabbat]] until [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. However, Mateh Yehuda 551:4 writes that even in honor of [[Shabbat]] one can’t shave during the Three Weeks. (b) On this dispute, Kaf HaChaim 551:66 writes that in this regard in depends on the minhag of the place (to follow the Pri Megadim or not), and Rabbi Moshe Karp in Hilchot UMinhagei Ben HaMeysarim (pg 25) writes that the Pri Megadim was more in line with minhag Ashkenaz than the Mateh Yehuda and there’s a lot to rely on to follow Pri Megadim. (c) Even on the original position of the Magen Avraham, the Hagahot Rabbi Akiva Eiger and Beiur Halacha 551:3 s.v. VeChen (based on Tosfot Tanit and the Yerushalmi) argue that cutting hair should be permissible for Kavod [[Shabbat]] even for [[Shabbat]] Chazon. [However, the Rishonim themselves don’t all agree with Tosfot including the Kol Bo (quoted in Bet Yosef 551:4) who wouldn’t shave before [[Shabbat]] chazon and the Bet Yosef (who argues on Tosfot that it’s impossible to think that it’s permissible to cut hair on [[Tisha BeAv]] for Kavod [[Shabbat]]).] (d) Ashkenazim: Sh”t Ner Ezra (vol 2 pg 155-8) concludes that one can be lenient to shave for Kavod [[Shabbat]] and quotes Rav Aharon Lichtenstein who agrees. [http://www.torah.org/advanced/weekly-halacha/5762/pinchas.html Weekly Parsha Halacha by Rabbi Neustadt] writes that since many do shave regularly (more than once a week) there is a basis for the lenient minhag (based on the logic of the Magen Avraham). Nonetheless, the Shemirat Shabbat KeHilchata 42:52 writes simply like the Mishna Brurah not to shave during the Three Weeks even for Kavod [[Shabbat]]. (e)Sephardim: Rav Ovadyah Yosef (Sh"t Yechave Daat 3:39, Sh”t Yabia Omer 3:31:5; Chazon Ovadyah pg 162) writes that there is what to rely on to shave Friday of [[Shabbat]] Chazon if ones beard is uncomfortable, and certainly there’s what to rely on for Ashkenazim to shave for Kavod [[Shabbat]] during the rest of the Three Weeks. (e) Someone in doubt: Rabbi Rabinowitz (quoted in Peninei Halacha by 156) says that a person should follow the minhag of his father so as not to appear more lenient or strict that his father.</ref>
#A mourner who completed his [[mourning]] period during the Three Weeks, may take a haircut and a shave until [[Rosh Chodesh]].<ref>Mishna Brurah 551:87, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:14 </ref>
#Women may shave their legs if necessary.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 128 note 9, Kitzur Hilchot Bein hametzarim page 4. </ref>

==Dancing==

#Dancing is forbidden during the Three Weeks even not in the context of a joyous occasion.<ref>Magen Avraham 551:10 says explicitly that it is forbidden to dance during the Three Weeks even if not in the context of a joyous occasion such as an engagement. The Eliya Rabba 551:6, Pri Megadim E"A 551:10, Baer Hetiev 551:11, Mishna Brurah 551:16, Ben Ish Chai (Shana Rishona, Devarim no. 5), Yalkut Yosef (Moadim pg 560, Kitzur S”A 551:9), Chazon Ovadyah (Arba Taaniyot pg 149), Simchat Cohen 162, and Lehorot Natan 10:49 all concur that dancing is forbidden during the Three Weeks. </ref>
#Some poskim are lenient to permit dancing at a sheva brachot during the Three Weeks for someone who got married before the Three Weeks.<ref>Lehorot Natan 10:49 explains that not dancing during the Three Weeks is a minhag but making the chatan and kallah happy at sheva brachot is a biblical or rabbinic obligation.</ref> Other poskim forbid it and even recommend not having a sheva brachot meal.<ref>Keneh Bosem 3:36. Nitai Gavriel (Three Weeks 6:5) cites poskim about this dispute.</ref>

==Swimming==

#Many hold that it is permissible to swim during the Three Weeks except in dangerous waters until the [[Nine Days]] (from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av).<ref>Sh"t Teshuvot VeHanhagot 2:263, Piskei Teshuvot 551:46 [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/735559/Rabbi_Aryeh_Lebowitz/Halachos_of_the_Three_Weeks Rabbi Ayreh Lebowitz], Moadei Yeshurun (pg 128) quoting Rav Moshe, Halichot Shlomo (Moadim, vol 2, chap 14, note 7), MeBayit Levi (vol 13, pg 22, note 5) quoting Rav Wosner, Sh"t Rivevot Ephraim 3:333, 4:135:14, 6:285:2, Shevet HaKehati 1:169:4, and Laws of Daily Living: The Three Weeks (p. 46). [http://books.google.com/books?id=k2lV5wQwwj0C&lpg=PA34&ots=yg-xJtgt00&dq=swimming%20during%20the%20three%20weeks&pg=PA12#v=onepage&q=swimming%20during%20the%20three%20weeks&f=false Rabbi Eider] quotes Rav Moshe Iggerot Moshe Even Haezer 4:84 who says even during the [[Nine Days]] if one is sweating or dirty and wants to wash off it's permissible to dip in the pool for a short time. Shaarim mitzuyanim bihalacha kuntres acharon 122:12 is lenient with children swimming in private area during the [[Nine Days]], but not in public, like camps. Yechave Daat 1:38 says that Sephardim are permitted to swim throughout the Three Weeks, [[Nine Days]], and week of [[Tisha BeAv]] but Ashkenazim who follow the Rama should not. [https://itorah.com/power-search-results/6/2181 Rabbi Eli Mansour] writes that the Syrian minhag is not to swim during the week in which [[Tisha BeAv]] falls out. </ref>

==Bathing and Showering==

#Some stop bathing and showering for the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] and some start already from the [[Nine Days]].<ref>Rambam Hilchot Taaniot 5:6 says from the week of and the Mordechai Taanit 639 says from [[Rosh Chodesh]] Av. Both opinions are quoted in Shulchan Aruch 551:16. Kaf Hachayim 551:186 says to follow whatever the custom of the place where you are living. Yechave Daat 1:38 says that the sephardic custom is that one is permitted to shower in cold water throughout and only has to stop using hot water for the week of [[Tisha BeAv]]. </ref> For [[Shabbat Chazon]], some poskim permit washing the whole body with hot water, <ref>Yechave Daat 1:38 </ref>
#Some poskim permit washing or showering to remove dirt or sweat.<ref>Aruch Hashulchan 551:37 </ref>
#Men who have the custom to use the mikveh daily can continue to use a cold mikveh during the week of [[Tisha BeAv]] even according to the custom that people wouldn't swim or shower.<ref>Kaf Hachayim 551:190, Ben Ish Chai Devarim 16, Yechave Daat 1:38 </ref>

==Listening to Music==
{{Listening to Music during the Three Weeks}}

==Meat, Wine, and Laundry==
#Although there is a practice that a minority of people have not to have meat and wine all of the Three Weeks, most only refrain from it for the Nine Days. The details are found on the [[Nine_Days#Eating_Meat_and_Drinking_Wine]] page.
#Laundry is permitted during the Three Weeks until the [[Nine Days]]. See that page for details.
#Cutting nails is permitted during the Three Weeks until the [[Nine Days]].
#Building and planting is permitted during the Three Weeks until the [[Nine Days]].

==Miscellaneous==

#During the Three Weeks a Rabbi should be careful not to hit his students<ref>Shulchan Aruch O.C. 551:18, Shulchan Shlomo 18, Chayei Adom 133:8. Mishna Brurah 551:103, Bear Heitev 551:41, Taz, Levush, Eshel Avraham Butchatch 551:18, Chayei Adam 133:8 and Aruch Hashulchan 551:39 add that this includes hitting with a strap. Kaf Hachayim 551:232 says that one should refrain even from the slightest hit. </ref> and a parent should not hit his child.<ref>Kitzur S”A 122:2, Kaf Hachayim 551:230, Orchos Rabbeinu 2: page 129:14 </ref>
===Court Cases===
#If a Jew has to have a lawsuit with a non-Jew, he should avoid having it with him in Av, as this is a time of ill fortune for a Jew.<ref>Shulchan Aruch 551:1, Taanit 29b. Mishna Brurah 551:2 based on the Magen Avraham 551:2 says that this applies throughout the month of av until [[rosh chodesh]] [[elul]], but at the minimum until [[Tisha BeAv]]. This is the ruling of the Chayei Adam 133:9, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:7. Ben Ish Chai Devarim Halacha 1 says one should preferably wait until the fifteenth of av but really one has to wait until the tenth. </ref>
===Fasting During the Three Weeks===
#Although some have the custom to fast during every day between the seventeenth of tammuz until the ninth of av, this should not be kept by a teacher of torah or somebody who is learning.<ref>Tur 551 and S”A 551:16 as well as the Chayei Adam 133:8 raise this minhag, but Birkei Yosef 551:7, Shaare Teshuva on S”A 551:16, Kaf Hachayim 551:191 and Mishna Brurah 90 say that this should not be done by a talmid chacham because he will not be able to focus on learning. </ref>
===Hagomel===
#One is permitted to recite the bracha of [[Hagomel]] at any point during the Three Weeks, including [[Shiva Asar BeTamuz]] and [[Tisha BeAv]].<ref>[http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=2349 Rabbi Eli Mansour] </ref>
===Tikkun Chatzot===
#It is a praiseworthy minhag to recite "tikkun Rachel" after chatzot of the day during the Three Weeks. This is in addition to the praiseworthy minhag to recite "[[tikkun chatzot]]" every night after chatzot. "Tikkun Rachel" should not be recited after chatzot of the day on Tish'a Bi'av itself. On Erev Rosh Chodesh, Rosh Chodesh, Erev Shabbat, and Shabbat, "tikkun Rachel" is also not recited during the day. This applies to any day that tachanun is not recited as well, for example a mohel, sandak, and avi haben, should not recite "tikkun Rachel" on the day of the berit milah. "Tikkun Chatzot" is not recited at night during a shemittah year, but a person may nevertheless recite "tikkun Rachel" during the day during the Three Weeks.<ref>Chazon Ovadia Arba Ta'aniyot page 128-129 </ref>

===Travel and Recreation===
# One shouldn't schedule trips and recreational activities for the Three Weeks.<ref>Mikraei Kodesh 5:1 quoting the Masa Chaim of Rav Chaim Palagi that the rabbis of his generation established that people shouldn't go on trips during the Three Weeks. He also writes that this is cited by the Sdei Chemed Ben Hametzarim 1:10 and Nitai Gavriel Ben Hametzarim 23 fnt. 7. He also quotes that he heard from Rav Shaul Yisraeli that one shoudln't go on recreational trips during the Three Weeks. </ref> Some say that if that is the only time a person has to take these trips with his family or it is for medical reasons it is permitted until the Nine Days.<reF>Mikraei Kodesh 5:1 citing Rav Mordechai Eliyahu</ref>
#During the Three Weeks one should refrain from going to dangerous places and should be even more careful during the [[Nine Days]].<ref>Piskei Teshuvot 551:1, 46. Also see [http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=1682 Rabbi Eli Mansour on dailyhalacha.com]. </ref>
#If possible, one should avoid flying on an airplane during the Nine Days.<ref>Halichot Shlomo 14:24</ref>

===Surgery===
#One should not schedule surgery for during the 3 weeks, and certainly not during the 9 days, unless the doctor insists that it cannot be postponed.<ref>Piskei Teshuvot 551:1, Dirshu Mishna Brura 551:note 128 in the name of Rav Shmuel Vosner, Rav Moshe Feinstein quoted in Moadei Yeshurun page 130:footnote 44, Emes Liyaakov 551:footnote 515, Nitei Gavriel 23:8. [http://www.doresh-tzion.co.il/QAShowAnswer.aspx?qaid=97499 Rav Bentzion Mussafi] permits until [[Rosh Chodesh]] to get surgery. see also Chazon Ovadia Arba Ta'aniyot page 128 footnote 2 and Halichot Olam vol 2 pg. 134 </ref>

==Haftarot==
# The custom is to read three tragic haftarot during the Three Weeks followed by 7 consolation haftarot.<ref>Tosafot Megillah 31b s.v. Rosh Chodesh Av, Shulchan Aruch 428:8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 122:6 </ref>
# On the [[shabbat]] prior to [[Tisha BeAv]], [[Shabbat Chazon]], we read Isaiah Perek 1:1-27. It is the final of the three tragic haftarot.<Ref>see https://www.ou.org/holidays/the-three-weeks/shabbat_chazon/ </ref>

==Question and Answers==

#Is it permissible to shave during the 3 weeks for Kavod [[Shabbos]]? [[#shavingforkavodshabbos| See above]]

==Links==

*[http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/838353/Rabbi_Ezra_Schwartz/Halachos_of_Three_Weeks Halachos of Three Weeks] by Rabbi Ezra Schwartz
*[http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/714866/Rabbi_Yaakov_B_Neuburger/Halachas_of_the_Three_Weeks_and_Nine_days_-_Shiur_for_Women Halachas of the Three Weeks and Nine days - Shiur for Women] by Rabbi Yaakov Neuberger
*Article on [http://www.yutorah.org/lectures/lecture.cfm/711706/Rabbi_Josh_Flug/The_Laws_Of_Bein_HaMetzarim The Laws Of Bein HaMetzarim] by Rabbi Josh Flug

==Sources==
<references />
{{Holidays}}
[[Category:Holidays]]

Chinuch

2019-06-23T22:00:33Z

User792: Minor grammar changes

There is a rabbinical obligation on every father to educate his children to fulfill mitzvot even before they reach the age of [[Bar Mitzvah]]/Bat Mitzvah.<ref>Sefer Chinuch Yisrael (p. 59) writes that Chinuch is a rabbinical Mitzvah, and quotes the Chaye Adam (66:1) who writes that this is a Mitzvah Midivrei Kabbalah (institution of the Nevi'im). </ref> The age at which this obligation begins varies according to the Mitzvah. Below are the details of this Mitzvah.
==D’Orayta or D’Rabanan?==
The Mitzvah of Chinuch - to teach Torah to our children - is clearly a Mitzvah D’Orayta as explicitly stated: V’shinantam L’vanecha.<ref>Devarim 6 pasuk 7</ref> However, is the Mitzvah of chinuch - to instruct children to begin performing Mitzvot before they are of the age of Mitzvot - a D’Orayata or D’Rabanan?

#Rav Schneur Zalman of Liadi says that it is clearly a mitzvah D’rabanan because it is never mentioned in the 5 books of the Torah. <ref>R’ Schneur Zalman of Liadi, Shulchun Aruch Harav Y.D. 246:1</ref>
#However Rav Meir Simchah of Dvinsk, disagrees citing Bereshit “For I have known him, to the end that he may command his children and his household after him”<ref>Bereshit Perek 18 pasuk 19 </ref> which he interprets to mean that Avraham is commanded to teach his household and children to perform the Mitzvot.This, however, is a general Mitzvah to teach children to appreciate Mitzvot. The Mitzvah to teach a child to perform every individual Mitzvah is D’Rabanan.<ref>Meshakh Ḥochmah Genesis 18:19 </ref>
#According to Rav Soloveitchik, although teaching children the Mitzvot is D’Rabanan, the Mitzvah of Chinuch is modeled after the biblical commandment of Sippur Yitziat Mitzrayim. This commandment to retell the story of our ancestors is extended, and, while there is a special commandment to tell over the story of Egypt, we must retell all of the Torah and Mitzvot to our children using all of the educational methods we follow in Sippur Yitziat Mitzrayim. <ref>Benjamin Zimmerman, The Educational Experience of Sippur Yitziat Mizrayim </ref>

==At What Age?==

#The general age of when one starts to do mitzvos is when the parents think that their child is mature enough to fulfill the whole mitzvah even with its more complicated parts. <ref>See the examples on Sukkah 42a and Sukkah 28a</ref>
#The age of chinuch depends on the child's individual intelligence. Usually the age when a child is intelligent enough for mitzvos is 5 or 6 years of age.<ref>Mishnah Berurah 128:123.</ref>
##For Shabbat some say that the age of chinuch begins at age 4 or 5.<ref>Muktzeh: A Practical Guide (Rabbi Simcha Bunim Cohen p. 138)</ref>
#There are some mitzvos in which parents start training their children even before five years of age. But some mitzvos can be more complicated and parents should wait until children are older to train them.<ref>Mishnah Berurah 128:123 </ref>
#A child can make several of mistakes before they can begin to execute the mitzvah properly. But if one does make a mistake trying to execute the mitzvah, the parents should not get frustrated with their kid and instead they should encourage them to try to execute and fulfill the mitzvah again. <ref>Mishnah Berurah 343:3.</ref>

==Who is obligated in Chinuch?==

*There is a machloket in the commentaries regarding whether the mitzvah of chinuch is for the parent or the child.

#The book of Mishlei says that one should teach his child in a manner which will stick with him forever: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Rashi comments on this pasuk saying that depending on what you teach him those lessons will effect him the rest of his life. He is saying that the adult has the responsibility to correctly teach his son life lessons. This belief would suggest that chinuch is a mitzvah for the father, because he is the one who will have the ability to effect his child's future.<ref>Mishlei (22:6) and Rashi there as cited in ShortVort written by D. Fine. Ritva Sukkah 2b s.v. amar rabbi yehuda and Mishna Brurah 343:2 cite Mishlei as the source for chinuch. </ref>
#Some rishonim hold that the son isn't obligated in mitzvot at all and it is only father who is obligated to train his son to mitzvot.<ref>Rashi (Brachot 20a s.v. ketanim), Ran (Megillah 6b s.v. rabbi yehuda) citing the Ramban, Ritva (Megillah 19b s.v. hakol), Tosfot Bava Kama 87a s.v. vkein</ref> However, others hold that the child himself is rabbinically obligated in mitzvot.<ref>Tosfot (Megillah 19b s.v. vrabbi yehuda), Tosfot (Brachot 20a s.v. vketanim), Rashba (Brachot 20a s.v. nashim)</ref>
#While the majority of the Poskim hold that Chinuch only applies to the father, some say it also applies to the mother. <ref>Mishna Brurah 343:2, Sefer Chinuch Yisrael (p. 61). See further in the Magen Avraham 343, Shulchan Aruch HaRav 343, Mishna Brurah 616:5, Aruch HaShulchan 343, and Pri Megadim E"A 225:5.

*The Gemara Nazir 28b writes that there is only an idea of a father training his son in being a nazir and not a mother. Reish Lakish understands that this is an example of chinuch. Tosfot Yeshanim (Yoma 82a s.v. ben) explicitly holds that there is no chinuch for a mother. Aruch Lener Sukkah 2b agrees. Ritva (Sukkah 2b s.v. amar rabbi yehuda) assumes that there is chinuch for a mother.</ref>

==How Completely Must the Mitzvah Be Performed?==

*The obligation of chinuch is for a father to train his son to do mitzvot, before he is required. The question that arises is; can a father fulfil his obligation by training his children to learn the basis of the mitzvah, or, must a father teach his son to complete and perfect the mitzvot. There are many different views on how a father should approach this issue.

#Just as a woman is not obligated to learn torah, kids are not required to do mitzvot. However, if a woman is to help her husband learn she must be involved as if she was required to learn. This is because her husband's mitzvah is relying on her learning in a certain manner. This is parallel to Chinuch because even though the child is not required to do the mitzvot, his father's obligation is reliant on his son performing the mitzvah adequately. <ref>S’dei Chemed, Klallim, Maareches Ches, Klal 60</ref>
#In Devarim, the pasuk says (וְשִׁנַּנְתָּם לְבָנֶיךָ, וְדִבַּרְתָּ בָּם, בְּשִׁבְתְּךָ בְּבֵיתֶךָ וּבְלֶכְתְּךָ בַדֶּרֶךְ, וּבְשָׁכְבְּךָ וּבְקוּמֶךָ) that one must teach their child dilegently and at all times. From this, we can infer that chinuch is so important that the father must make sure his son is fully ready to fulfill the mitzvah. This is so necessary that the father must teach his child at all times. <ref>Devarim 6:7</ref>
#Others say, the requirement of a father to train his son in the performance of mitzvot, before he is bar mitzvah, is called chinuch. The term chinuch means training. From this we can infer that the child does not need to perfect the mitzvah, or even complete it, for the father's obligation to be fulfilled. <ref>"The Responsibility for Chinuch." Chabad.org. TheRebbe.org, n.d. Web. 01 Feb. 2016.</ref>
#A psychologist's viewpoint of chinuch is very different. Since there is no concrete explanation of what you must do to fulfill chinuch, when trying to find how to fulfill chinuch a lot of parents seem to make simple mistakes. There are cases where children don't obtain any information on negative mitzvot because the father is so set on teaching mitzvot such as tzitzit or tefillin. From this we can see that the father can fulfill chinuch by being confident that his child will be a well rounded torah observer. An example would be a situation on pesach. Rather than scolding your child on how big the matzah must be in order to be kosher, instead you should be teaching your child the story of pesach and how to appreciate it.<ref>Shalem, Baruch, Ph.D, and David Koenigsberg, Ph.D. "Chinuch." Chinuch. N.p., n.d. Web. 01 Feb. 2016.</ref>
#Some examples of cases of chinuch are with a lulav and with tzitzit. While the obligation of chinuch is only fulfilled if you give your child a perfectly kosher lulav and pair of tzitzit, you don’t have to give your child lulav hadar. In addition, you also don’t have to teach your child to have kavanah while performing the mitzvah. From this, we can infer that while it is important to teach your child to not perform the mitzvah in a non-kosher way, it is also not necessary to make your child fully enthralled in all aspects of the mitzvah.<ref>Fine, D. "The Mitzvah of Chinuch Explored." Shortvort. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Feb. 2016.</ref>
##There is a dispute whether a father fulfills his obligation when letting his child use a borrowed lulav for sukkot.<ref>Mishna Brurah 628:28</ref> This question revolves around whether the nature of the obligation of chinuch was to train the child to do mitzvot when he gets older in which case it would suffice or was it that the rabbis imposed an obligation upon the child to do mitzvot before he becomes Biblically obligated.<ref>Rav Moshe Feinstein in Igrot Moshe YD 1:224. See Ritva (Sukkah 2b s.v. amar rabbi yehuda) who says that a sukkah above 20 amot is invalid for chinuch and concludes that the mitzvah of chinuch has to be fulfilled in a complete fashion.</ref>

==Until When?==

#Although the primary purpose of Chinuch is to train children when they are young so that they continue to perform the Mitzvot during adulthood, the parents' obligations does not end when a child reaches bar or bat mitzvah. A parent must make sure that the child continues to adhere to all biblical or rabbinic laws even after maturity. <ref>Children in Halacha pg. 8 </ref>

==Daily Mitzvot==
===Prayer===

#Regarding a child's obligation to pray, see the [[Obligation_to_pray#Children| Children's obligation to Pray]] page.

===Berachot===

*Children should be taught to say berachot before food at the age of 5, or when the children are able to say it properly. However many people have different customs to start having children say berachot at an earlier age. <ref>"CHINUCH AGE." Ahavsalom (n.d.): n. pag. Dh.ahavasolam.com. Web. 1 Feb. 2016. <http://dh.ahavasolam.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/A-List-of-Chinuch-Ages.pdf>, שלחן ערוך א”ח רט”ו:ג as cited in Singer, Shmuel. "A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot." Google Books. Shmuel Singer, n.d. Web. 01 Feb. 2016. <https://books.google.com/books?id=55NdTR7HfYAC&pg=PA20&lpg=PA20&dq=age%2Bchildren%2Bberachot&source=bl&ots=zwGJnqECD_&sig=xSHlovDBimMjahI64ia2ltu_5ho&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjHopOi39bKAhUBLyYKHRqADUEQ6AEIHDAA#v=onepage&q=age%20children%20berachot&f=false>.

*Yalkut Yosef (Chinuch p. 20) quotes the Chikrei Lev who proves that there is chinuch even on derabbanan mitzvot as the gemara Rosh Hashana 29b indicates that a person should teach his son how to make hamotzei before eating bread.</ref>
*Some say that children from the age of 6 should say Birkat Hamazon <ref>Rabbi Mansour on dailyhalacha.com writes that parents should ensure that children from the age of 6 say Birkat HaMazon. </ref>
*In order to teach children what berachot they should say, and how they should say them, the parent should show/teach the children by saying berachot in front of the child. A parent of a young child is allowed to help the child say the berachot by saying it with them, including the saying of G-d’s name, and the parent is allowed to answer “amen” to berachot that are said improperly or are incomplete if the child is still learning. <ref>Mishnah Berurah (167:93) . See Chanoch L’Naar (14:4). As cited in "CHINUCH AGE." Ahavsalom (n.d.): n. pag. Dh.ahavasolam.com. Web. 1 Feb. 2016. <http://dh.ahavasolam.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/A-List-of-Chinuch-Ages.pdf>. </ref>
*Children that are older than five or six, or whatever age the accepted custom says, and get up in the middle of the night, should not eat unless they said the proper berachot before hand. <ref>"CHINUCH AGE." Ahavsalom (n.d.): n. pag. Dh.ahavasolam.com. Web. 1 Feb. 2016. <http://dh.ahavasolam.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/A-List-of-Chinuch-Ages.pdf>. </ref>
*While there is a prohibition in saying G-d's Name (Ado-nai), when it is isn't warranted, the prohibition is waived when being used in the process of Chinuch. Therefore, it is permitted(obligatory, rather) to say the full [[Brachot|Bracha]], with Shem and Malchut, in order to teach a child how and when to say what [[Brachot]].<ref>The Gemara (Brachot 53b) says that one doesn’t say amen after the [[Brachot|Bracha]] of a katan when he is just saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] as he is being taught the Brachot. The Rambam (Brachot 1:15) codifies as halacha. The Kesef Mishna there writes that it’s clearly implied that the teacher is permitted to say the Brachot with hashem’s name to teach the children how to say the Brachot and when the children repeat the [[Brachot|Bracha]] after him, since the [[Brachot|Bracha]] is only for Chinuch, one doesn’t answer amen. Shulchan Aruch 215:3 rules that if a child is saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] as he is learning from his teacher one doesn’t answer amen, but if a child says a [[Brachot|Bracha]] in order to exempt himself from some obligation (meaning saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] when he is obligated to say it), then one should answer amen.

*Mishna Brurah 215:14 writes that it is permitted for the teacher to say the Brachot with hashem’s name to teach the children how to say the Brachot. Although saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] for Chinuch is permitted, saying a [[Brachot|Bracha]] as one is learning such as an adult who finds the text of a [[Brachot|Bracha]] in the gemara as he is learning should not say the [[Brachot|Bracha]] with hashem’s name as one is reading the gemara. However, Yalkut Yosef 215:15 writes that in order to teach a child how to say Brachot one may say them with Hashem’s name, however, once the child knows how to make a [[Brachot|Bracha]] and he just needs help in saying the [[Brachot|Bracha]] one should say it without ashem’s name.</ref>

===Washing for Bread===

#Children that have not reached the age of bar or bat mitzvah are required to wash their hands before eating bread. Even though washing hands is a mitzvah derabanan, it is a mitzvah of chinuch to teach kids mitzvot that are derabanan. <ref>Yalkut Yosef Dinei [[Netilat Yadayim]], Birkat Hamazon, [[Brachot]], [[Mincha]] and [[Arvit]] page 13-14 based on the Yerushalmi in Megilla 2:5 that [[chinuch]] of children applies to rabbinic laws as cited in [[Netilat Yadayim for a Meal]].
<br /> An important lesson about chinuch in general can be learned from a story about trying to teach one’s son to wash before eating. It talks about a little kid who did not wash before eating bread. This infuriated his dad so he went to get something to hit him with. When he wound up to hit his son, his wife immediately stopped him and reminded him that he does not wash before eating bread either, thus he should be the one that is hit. The lesson is that if you want to successfully teach your children mitzvot, you have to take ownership and do the mitzvah as well. "חינוך לדורות - חינוך במעשים." <http://raktora.50webs.com/hinuh1.htm>.</ref>
#One opinion is that even when the child is being spoon fed because he does not have the motor skills to feed himself yet, he still is required to wash for bread when he eats more than a Kezayit. <ref>הרב אבישלום מונייצר שליט''א. "ילדים כהלכה." ילדים כהלכה. ''</ref>
#Harav Adir Cohen says that when the child can say the bracha they should wash their hands before eating bread. Since in many kindergarten and nursery classrooms they have posters of the bracha on the wall, they have already memorized it when they are young. Therefore, they should be able to wash by then. <ref>הרב אדיר הכהן שליט"א. " חינוך לנטילת ידים לילדים." חינוך לנטילת ידים לילדים. </ref>

==Bringing Children to Shul==
There is a lot of controversy over the issue of bringing your kids to shul. Is it a positive thing that will be positive for their future or will it be a distraction to others and a negative outlook on shul for the child?

#Some say that bringing a child to shul before they are ready infuses them with spirituality just like a bris milah is given to a child before the age of chinuch because it infuses him with spirituality. <ref>Rabbi shraga simmons http://www.aish.com/jl/jewish-law/daily-living/4-Children-and-Halacha.html </ref>
#The gemara writes that the reason why children were also supposed to assemble at hakhel was to ‘bring reward to those who brought them’. Tosafot comments that this is the source for bringing children to shul.<ref>Chagigah 3a</ref>
#The Shla hakadosh was frustrated by people who brought kids to shul who are not yet old enough to be in shul without making disruptions and bothering the shul. This will leave an impression on the child and he will feel distaste towards the shul as an adult because of it. <ref>Mishnah Berurah 98:3 who quotes the Shla Hakadosh:</ref>
#The Mishna Berura writes that one shouldn’t daven with a young child in front of them as they will likely distract them.<ref>Mishna Berura 96:4</ref>
#The Shulchan Aruch writes that children should listen to the megilla being read on Purim. The Mishna Berura writes that this is only applicable to children who have reached the age of chinuch. The Chafetz Chaim bemoans the unfortunate reality that many parents bring their younger children who disturb everyone else. <ref>The Shulchan Aruch (OC 689:1-3)</ref>

==A Kohen Becoming Tamei==

#Hacham Ovadia Yosef says a kohen’s wife who is pregnant while she knows it's a male is allowed to go to cemeteries while pregnant because the fetus is considered to be a part of the mother. <ref>dailyhalacha.com</ref>
#Rav Elyashiv says that a kohen’s wife who is giving birth to a male needs to make sure the hospital is one where the child won't become tamei after being born. <ref>dailyhalacha.com</ref>
#A kohen must never become Tamei so as a baby it is the parent's responsibility to keep the baby from being near dead bodies.<ref>dinonline.org</ref>
#Once the Kohen is old enough and mature enough to be taught the obligation of not becoming tamei the responsibility to keep the child from becoming Tamei falls off the parents and on the child <ref>dinonline.org</ref>

==Shabbat==
===Kiddush and Havdalah===

#When a child is able to understand it is shabbat then he or she must hear kiddush and havdalah. Understanding that it is Shabbos does not mean that he or she only says good shabbos and that’s all; rather a kid must understand it’s the 7th day and it’s the rest day and not a day to do work. <ref>Rabbi Dovid Ostroff, The Shabbos Weekly</ref>
#When a child is of that age, parents must make sure to call the child to the table to hear kiddush. <ref>Rabbi Dovid Ostroff, The Shabbos Weekly</ref>
#A child should hear havdalah starting at the same age as he or she is responsible to hear kiddush
#If a child goes to sleep before hearing havdallah or Kiddush and it is past the child’s normal bedtime, it is not necessary to wake him or her up for Havdallah. <ref>Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurebach as cited in Rabbi Dovid Ostroff, The Shabbos Weekly</ref>

===Melacha on Shabbat===

#On shabbat, a parent cannot tell a kid to do melacha
#According to one opinion, you can have a child do melacha for you if it is only an issur derabanan<ref>Turei Zahav as cited in A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot: A Halachic Guide By: Samuel Singer</ref>
#According to most opinions you may not ask a child to do a melacha for you under any circumstances even melacha derabanan. <ref>A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot: A Halachic Guide By: Samuel Singer </ref>
#Even though one cannot ask a child to do melacha, if a young child is playing with a toy that makes noise on shabbat, you don’t have to tell the kid to stop if they are too young to understand the laws of shabbat <ref>A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot: A Halachic Guide By: Samuel Singer </ref>
#But, if a kid is old enough to understand which action are forbidden and which are allowed to do on shabbat, then you must stop them from doing melacha <ref>A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mitzvot: A Halachic Guide By: Samuel Singer </ref>

==Holidays==
===The Seder===

#The age a child should be kept up for the whole pesach seder is when he can fully understand the mitzvah and the story of egypt. This of course varies depending on how the child matures, but for most it is between age 5-7.<ref>Shulchan Aruch Orech Chaim 472:15. Shulchan Aruch Harav 472:25</ref>
#A child should drink the four cups when he can understand, even just a little bit, the story of Egypt; he does not, however, need to drink the same amount as an adult but rather a child’s size Melo Loogmov (a cheek full) <ref>The Laws of Pesach on www.neveh.org </ref>

===Lulav===

#Children are chayav to perform the mitzvah of lulav when they are able to shake the lulav <ref>Gemara sukkah 42a</ref>
#The Turei Zahav says that a parent should buy his son his own set of lulav if he is able to do it, and the father has the financial means to do it.
#if you are going to buy your child a lulav, it is preferable, if they are going to make a bracha on it, that it be kosher. <ref>"Sukkot." A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mizvot. Hoboken: Ketav House, 1991.53. Print.</ref>
#Although the lulav should be kosher, according to some, on the first day of Sukkot a child does not have to own his lulav like adults do.
#According to others, a child should also use a lulav that he owns.
#Therefore, the child should use the lulav after all adults have used the lulav, because a child can acquire a lulav from an adult, but cannot transfer it back to the adult’s ownership.<ref>"Sukkot." A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mizvot. Hoboken: Ketav House, 1991.59. Print.</ref>
#The child is not able to give back the lulav because he is unable to understand the practices of business enough to give back the lulav. <ref>"Sukkot." A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mizvot. Hoboken: Ketav House, 1991. 53 . Print.</ref>
#You can have your child use the non-kosher set of lulav but you do not fulfill the mitzvah of chinuch. <ref>"Sukkot." A Parent's Guide to Teaching Children Mizvot. Hoboken: Ketav House, 1991. 61-63. Print.</ref>

===Fasting===

#There is a minhag for a boy to fast 3 fasts prior to his Bar Mitzvah.<ref>Rav Nevinsal (B'Yitzchak Ikara 550:1) comments that the minhag ashkenaz is for a boy to fast 3 times prior to his bar mitzvah, though he doesn't know the basis for this minhag.</ref>

==Torah Study==

#The Torah study of pure children is very precious before Hashem and it provides spiritual protection to the whole world.<ref>The Gemara Shababt 119a quotes Reish Lakish as saying that the world stands on the merit of the children's torah study. Furthermore, says the Gemara, a city which doesn't have its children studying Torah is going to be destroyed.</ref>

==Chinuch Attitude==

#A life devoted to Hashem is the most pleasurable and fulfilling one. Therefore, the Chinuch stage must be pleasing and joyful for children. The proper attitude and approach for children to learn is through "Darchei No'am" (pleasant ways). <ref>Rambam in his introduction to Perek HaChelek elaborates on how a child should be given sweets to encourage him to learn, as he gets older he should be given bigger prizes until eventually he will appreciate the value of the Torah itself and be motivated to learn it for no other reason, </ref>
#A parent and/or teacher should generally be careful not to be excessively forceful. There are several cases where Talmudic personalities praised their behavior of not being "makpid"(strict) in their home over their wives and children even though they lived a life filled with mitzvot.<ref>Gitin 7a</ref>
#An important lesson about chinuch in general can be learned from a story about trying to teach one’s son to wash before eating. It talks about a little kid who did not wash before eating bread. This infuriated his dad so he went to get something to hit him with. When he wound up to hit his son, his wife immediately stopped him and reminded him that he does not wash before eating bread either, thus he should be the one that is hit. The lesson is that if you want to successfully teach your children mitzvot, you have to take ownership and do the mitzvah as well. <ref>"חינוך לדורות - חינוך במעשים." Raktora. N.p., n.d. Web. 8 Feb. 2016. <http://raktora.50webs.com/hinuh1.htm>.</ref>
##The gedolim have all agreed that hitting children in the name of chinuch is forbidden.<ref>Rav Wolbe in Biyan Uzeriya Bechinuch. Rav Kook in Ayin Ayah Brachot 7a:70</ref>

==Feeding a Child Something Forbidden==

#It is forbidden to feed a child something that is forbidden whether it is forbidden from the Torah or rabbinically.<ref>The Rambam Machalot Asurot 17:27 holds that it is forbidden to feed a child something forbidden whether that prohibition is from the Torah or rabbinic. The Rashba responsa 1:92 argues that it is permitted as long as it is only rabbinic yet he cautioned that he didn't rule like that in practice. Ran Yoma 1a quotes the Rashba. The Shulchan Aruch 343:1 holds like the Rambam.</ref>
#It is permitted to feed a baby milk an hour after they finished eating meat even though the minhag is to not to have milk after meat for several hours.<ref>Chelkat Yakov YD 1:16 is lenient to permit a baby to drink milk after eating meat since it is only a minhag and since a minhag is based on a vow it a child's vows aren't effective. However, he limits this leniency to this context and only permits in conjunction with the fact that a baby is considered like a choleh shein bo sakana if they need to drink milk for health. Yabia Omer YD 1:4 is lenient after an hour but adds that perhaps there's no prohibition of feeding a child something forbidden if it is only an external prohibition and now a prohibition of the food itself.</ref>
#Many poskim are lenient even for Ashkenazim to feed a child who needs to eat kitniyot on Pesach for health reasons since it is only a minhag.<ref>Shem Aryeh EH 95 writes that there's no issue with feeding a child below chinuch something (latfiso byadayim) that is only a chumra and not even a rabbinic prohibition. He is writing about not eating dried fruits on Pesach which was a certain minhag. The Sdei Chemed Chametz Umatzah 6:6 quotes it regarding Kitniyot. Siach Yitzchak responsa 210 agrees. Yachava Daat 1:9 agrees. He quotes Kol Mevaser 778, Agudat Ezov 12 who also agree that there's no prohibition of feeding a child something that's only a minhag. Agudat Ezov is lenient even with bishul akum. Sdei Chemed Asifat Zekenim Bishul Goyim 15 quotes that.</ref>
#Putting a diaper on a baby on Shabbat that has a color strip which changes colors when the baby goes to the bathroom is permitted.<ref>Rav Nissim Karelitz in Chut Shani Shabbat v. 4 p. 287 writes that it is permitted to put a diaper on a baby that is going to change colors when the baby goes to the bathroom and it isn't considered causing your baby to do a melacha of coloring on Shabbat. The reason is that when the diaper is put on there's no change and when the baby goes to the bathroom he is mitasek and there's no issue of causing your child to do a melacha as a mitasek.</ref>
#Feeding your child a cookie with letters on it on Shabbat is permitted.<ref>Mishna Brurah on 340:3 writes that it is permitted to give your child a cookie with letters on it even though for an adult it is forbidden to eat it since it will erase the letters. Chut Shani Shabbat v. 4 p. 293 explains that it is permitted since erasing the letters is at worst derabbanan and also some poskim permit it altogether. Also, there's no problem of causing your child to do something forbidden if it is a pesik reisha unless the child realizes that he's doing it for the benefit of the child.</ref>

==Baby Naming==

#Generally a person shouldn't name after someone who passed away young. However, it is permitted to name after Shmuel Hanavi, Shlomo or Chizkiyahu Hamelech even though they passed away young.<ref>Igrot Moshe 2:122 explains that Shmuel and Shlomo died at 52 but they died peaceful on their beds so they didn't have a negative mazal. Shemot Baaretz p. 113 of Rav Chaim Kanievsky agrees.</ref>

==Sources==
<references />
[[Category:Lifecycles]]